full moon dec. 25th 2015, letting go and manifesting for a new sun cycle

saw it through the thick of fog, beyond the clouds, obese with global warming sweat and tears.

christmas day. nyc -> baltimore.

know cities. city like skin, like leprosy.

astoria, crown heights, forte green, jackson heights, flushing, east ny, harlem, south bronx, parkchester, stapleton, l.e.s, sunnyside, south philly, west philly, downtown baltimore, dhaka, kannur, ayanthole, trivandrum, bangalore, southeast portland, east l.a. south central l.a., santa monica...

full moon on the day of the symbolic birth of jesus, born in palestine on the christian calendar date of : 0000.

in the path of surrender to the Source of Peace (islam), we are taught, by way of our teachers...

...the gurus - himalaya, grand canyon, pacific/arabian ocean, banyans and bristlecone pine, heru, ra, krsna, gautama, moses, jesus, muhammad - have taught muslims (those who surrender to the Source of Peace) - that which is scientifically observable through the empiricism of eyes and ears, stargazing, and molecules - ALLAH has no beginning, no end.

drove on the day of three kings...with two kings and a queen - the royal family i was born into, tethered by economic blues for centuries.

tore her up. the hybrid that sucks gas and battery like a drone shooting like a star sitting in sky like a hummingbird, dropping like a food-poisoned pigeon with the runs. droppings with bullseyes on men and women covered by garbs of humility, beads of prayers.

death is everywhere. drones like big white santa dropping kalshnikovs in boxes wrapped with brand name cool - freedom - for both sides - gifts under scorched trees, desert.

hopi vs shoshone vs aztec vs maya vs...tamil vs sinhalese, shia vs sunni - gifts for both sides. nra for both of you. with love. signed: weapons manufacturers, stocks and bonds, and the governments that support them.

see it. see what's happening and become clear. more than ever, now more than ever, we all need meditation, prayer, compassion. all of us. bush, sauds, clinton, obama, trump, jindal and projects, trailer parks, basthis, shanty towns, middle class, global south. we all need spirituality.

heard that there is a new awakening. that now, these days, more people are spiritually smarter. i wonder if this must mean another discovery. discovery like chris columbus coming across america. discovery like yoga by the beatles in 1965.

....ah, i get it. yoga exists now, cause you see it. i get it, spiritual awakening, cause your hollow has edged, tipped over, must be something more...good for you...happy for you...cool...

...propagate the myth that it just started happening, cause you're doing it.

this full moon, the birth of the prophet muhammad. dec. 25th, 2015.

the birth, is carved not into a fixed calendar, as there is an understanding in the path, that everything changes, no two seconds nor days are the same. so, how can birthdays be on the same date from year to year? hence the siting and moving and bowing, based on the moon.

this full moon is the precursor to the conceptual new year -  a good way to mark the following 12 months of the sun cycle.

the intention of letting go is to leave behind doubt, fear, second guessing, emotional attachments, not doing, resistance, fantasy, value-misalignment, poverty-mentality, anger, control, homelessness, judgement...

the intention of letting go, is to let go of idolizing material...

material is clothes, brands, celebrities, cool...

but what more specifically? letting go of that which keeps me from being a Lover...

the Lover is honest, transparent, as clear as rain and the mentally disabled. the Lover works tirelessly, fearlessly, with Purpose...the Lover lets you know that you are beautiful, that you are being hurtful, that he doesn't understand. the Lover tries, gives his best in all situations, regardless of how silly it may look. the Lover does with love. the Lover is present, mindful, breathes, gives selflessly, without overthinking, without thinking that it will cost too much, or it will be a loss, or babylon-financial equations. the Lover makes dreams happens, instead of deferring, instead of fantasizing...

this is the year of the Lover, of letting go of that which keeps me from fully actualizing the Lover - embarassment, humiliation, can't, laziness, lack of focus, lack of discipline, lack of practice, what-will-others-think, scheming, thinking in future mood, keeping from being because of a fantastic future, self-doubt, second-guessing, looking uncool...

the Lover shows up. is my cousin eve with hugs, is gautama with Quiet, is rumi with heart-writings, reflections, is malcolm with activism, social justice, is jesus with healing, is my brother with self-lessness, is my father with showing up, is my mother with nourishment, is my cousin salman with humble-service, is jordan with craft, is the prophet muhammad with building community, is those who Know...

...those who Know will be my guides...

prescription for war-profiteeridyne

time. running against the mj tower in bk, a bank turned condo = bank for mj, assisting passes to hiv pharmaecueticals and citi and chase. paper chase.

got the ones and twos down like a dj, like funk master flex squealing like an obese gerbil stumbling out of bbq's with an 8 ball leather varsity coat.

practice self-promo in the mirror, on youtube, the business world tells me in the form of my old-school homie, bus-boy turned warbucks.

he tells me if i really want to learn business, do nothing more than study the way of the takers.

stopped. looked. listened.

war.

the man (white/brown/black/yellow) got thousands on the rocket launchers shipped to the bin saud's. put thousands on the other side as well. thing is, its a win win. boeing products to medina, g.e. to s'anna, all the presidents men prefer smith and wesson. classy script on the drones they shoot...

we are slaves to a page in a genetic code on the how to history of dividing, conquering, annihilating the heathen indigenous:

how much you got? the not so in-between-the-lines-voice of the news/textbooks/pop culture, whispers.  i can sell you the recipe. it's actually quite simple.

start with some booty - cash or cleavage. give plenty to one group, deny the other. plant the seeds of power and evil eye. see how they snicker, snub, beef with each other - mohegan with mohawk, hutus and tutsi's, sikh and hindu, shia and sunni...yes! it's on!

hook em up with assault rifles, ak's, sawed offs...hell, bows and arrows. 

sell to both sides. tell everyone how you are tryna broker peace between the savages. tell everyone how they know know other way then to head hunt, blow themselves up. tell em how you have no choice but to step in and help these violent uncouth long-haired/nappy/bearded/sand ni@#as to become civilized. then, take it all - land, women, oil, rivers, libraries, knowledge. take it and sell it in the white market to harvard and cuny and naturopathic medical schools. 

rewrite their gnosis into scholarly jargon and put your signature on it. if the people begin to scratch their head about it, talk about the past - talk about slavery and civil rights and women's rights, human rights - even though this is what the people you are decimating are fighting for. quote the leaders your ideological lineage (as this is equal opportunity benneton imperialism) has assassinated in the past. 

be prepared for crazy. they will go crazy. the people you ruined. set up plenty of prisons. let them rot in jail. in case they don't, plant some drugs crack-rock in their ghettos. let them kill each other. 

that should do. 

i'm gonna pass. going to pass King. i see You. beyond the bank vaults and rape-fantasy and carnage dreams - i see You. beyond the tumi luggage and slick phones and paper thin laptops, i see You. i see You King/Queen.

do you see You?

the medicine of mapping

this is the word: we are here right now. this is the layout of the land. this is where you need to get. right here. see it? these are your resources. now go. get there.

what does your map look like? what is your purpose? what are you doing to actualize your purpose? how are you using your map to guide your actions on a day to day?

i usually leave the map behind. i usually forget how important the map is. i move with spontanaiety and compare my movement to rivers and air, forgetting that the torrential winds that brought down todays rains on gotham was guided by the Laws.

the Laws are the map of the universe. they are universal. laws like gravity and frequency and relativity. they are the science of the spiritual world, missed on the pseudo-science of the spirit-less world.

know how to move.

in chaos, i am the erratic movement of drones, devastating self.

time is precious. your time here, as human, in this form that reads these writings, is sacred. how are you using it?

my map involves spreading the gospel of mountain and sun, of the northern lights and those who Know...my map involves self-sustenance for my family, cuzins, and Self, and you and you and you and the village we will build on from the example of our indigenous parents, elders, ancestors. my map involves growing deeper, deeper. so deep that ancient mathematics.

my map is a series of vedic arabic math equations aligned in the language of Essence.

when i come to your town, i am stopping at the yoga shalas and universities, along the way. i am doing asana and breath and prayer with people in places, and preparing food together after, in alignment with the Laws.

when i come to visit you, i will be doing a workshop at the local community center and theatre and herb space and wellness center and school and kitchen...

when i come through, i will bring my medicines with me. i will bring some healing potions and scents and you will Know they are made with Love.

when i come through i will be chanting to/for Al Jabbar, 99 times, lest i forget that glory belongs to ALLAH alone.

these points, these dots, are the path. they themselves are the path, and build into seven heavens.

otherwise i move. my movement is sudden. abrupt. the pop and lock of electric chairs. to do's occur without thinking, but with too much thought, and not enough plan. without pause, i flee, as if i don't make a move that second, i will miss out.

miss out, and pause. take a moment to reflect. pause. shhh... think... if only you would think, ALLAH reminds us in the Recitation - the Qur'an.

recite your map. draw it out. pause. before you move, pause. soon your movement will be with pause. pause is fearless, contrary to caution, to over-planning, over-thinking.

be that which You want. move with it. do like you Know...

distance between wants and is

a million miles.

want nothing other than this. other than to Be. other than to...

want nothing. am ALL.

am village, community, touch the feet of my elders, bow in respect, and listen to elder stories and direction and Guidance. elders Know.

walking always.

walk towards the sun with children and wife and abbu and ammu and bhaiyas and kalathobhaiys and apas. roll deep. roll like schools of fish, like a murder of crows, even as the rifles point and shoot.

too spirit too strong.

you could keep the color you assigned me man of color obsession. you could come up with theories of how you are the best, the first, the envy, the....thing is you probably can't tell which man i'm not talking bout. that's cause babylonians are brown, white, black, red, yellow on surface and live surface and move with surface and socialize from surface and unionize from surface...

scrubbed through. scrub scrub...found the jewel in the Crown...the Hidden One...found what Was/Is, when i cease to be this form...these writings...keep your grades teacher...

...bow to the One before i do my papers. head on the ground for five even though i have four to hand in the assignment. recall that there is no one but One (la illaha illala). 99 times. even though i will miss your test if i continue. i answer to the call of the banyan manifest in the wrinkled elderly hands of my nana before i respond to your threats of termination for being late one more time.

...keep your jobs...i have Love to make..

...make Love without motion...

...immaculate birth.

have always been. Been. will Be...

thing is truth Is.

Truth.

leave you. leave to Be. left the clothes at macy's, and got on line towards You, by bowing to the truth around me.

come from a family of Truth. come from the lineage of Truth. have you heard? probably not. probably cause we are not in daredevil or empire or waking dead or kendrick lamar lyrics or adele grievances. not on the broke-hearted 27 list. not morrison or hendrix or rhoads or cobain or winehouse.

have been hung in every generation for walking opposite to the demands of romans.

my lineage is in the storm, in the rain that peyote healers sing about, that tabla drums wail like water without a need for audience or purchase.

i Am because that which i re-member was dismembered, was only a collection of kodaks that had emotions set to them like soundtracks on the window phonograph. allahuakbar. oops. said it. blacklist. prayed. bowed down. prayed for you. prayed for me.

the speech from home-king yunus was to leave wanting for am-ing, for being the mirror of that reality. reality is a reflection of that which you believe.

what do you believe?

i believe in love, community, village, purpose, selflessness, doing, movement, nourishment, the ancient ways, respect for the ways, peace, harmony...

i believe in us working together to make this happen.

i believe in Being by releasing familiarity for the unfamiliar, for that which works, that which may be outside the zone of comfort, to accomplish...

accomplish by letting go of this container and trusting in the Design...all praise is due

hollow breeds hollow ii

hollow.

broke and destroyed, i sat in the puddle on hawthorne, watching dead clouds piss ash  on the homeless skin-heads across the street. they pissed on my sleeping bag last night. asked me for an id like cops. i looked at them. brown eyes on green, and blue, and brown. i love you, i said. i love you, no matter what.

walked to the lake with them, at the top of mount tabor. the lake that formed from the downpour the last couple days. they passed hash with tobacco. took a hit. just a puff. enough to get me and the straggly haired chick next to me to interlace, and stare at the stars in the lake and talk mystery.

maybe the universe isn't above but below, and to get to the stars all we need to do is dive, she said. her brown hair falling over her pale cheeks, covering one of the greens, leaving the other to dart for answers in between the lake and me.

yeah, i said. except what've we don't come back?

then we'd accomplish the goal sought by every seeker in the post-hollow world, we would reach that place of bliss that the corporations and industries and bankers and shooters and presidents and politicians, and business men, and new-agers are leading us to anyway, cept, it'd be quick, without a middle-man.

right.

dove in. bloated in death. flotsam and jetsam...

...then did it again the next day. me and the skinheads turned existentialists, with tattoos of sartre and nietszche on their foreheads...

...walked to the top of the max station in gresham. dove through the fences, like vampires in our cloaks...dove till the pavement became a graveyard...

...did it again...this time in the city...this time with refugees from el salvador...this time it was under the a train in euclid, east, ny, before the dominican boys chasing us with bats could swing, before they decided to join us...

...did it again...and noticed everyone else did too, every day. it was an everyday thing...walking in the hollow...walking broken-hearted...

hollow breeds hollow

stick up son!

put your muthaf*^kin hands up! strip b*#tch! take it all off! you heard me...

...$50, $100, $1000...

stick up kids get there lead, guidance from the their guru - stick-up society.

guru-stick-up society: run your shit b*#tch!!! hands against the wall!!! run your oil, your diamonds, your water reserves, your cotton fields, your sugar fields!!!

guru-stick up society been at work for centuries...been robbing and stealing and plundering and raping and making bank, bags of loot...gimme the loot, gimme the loot!!!...

...and your land, and your olive trees, and your red woods, and your teepees, and your mosques, riyadhs, and your traditional knowledge...

---gun to your gut, blast your grandma, dead your baby boy...16 shots...revisions on the television... he tried to attack...they are crazy...look at how they treat their women, look at how they are taking over, look at, look at...

...bomb, bomb, bomb....

...kaboom, guess who stepped in the room???

...do what you feel now...electric feel now...do you...i do me...

...broken and hollow...gotta be broken and hollow to do this much lying, stealing, cheating...so gotta shop...gotta get new kicks and crisp jeans and a jeep to match, the new hybrids, and the paper thin macs with solid state drives and, and, and...

...do what you feel now...

...what you feel is empty, and broke, even though you got him homie, even though you took her land, and resources, and ways...

...gotta keep covering up that hollow...gotta keep getting and tell the world how they are tryna got...do what you feel now...

...thing is...always prayers for you...always...because your hurt is hurting me, is hurting all of us, so prayers for you, and for me, and prayers for those who are converting to hollow, who are becoming broke and destitute and empty spirited and hitting the bottle and the club...

...do what you feel now...what you really feel...Real feel...

vipassana: day 2: only you can do it

the buddha, all buddhas (as buddha is just a term for an enlightened being - ibrahim, gautama, musa, isa, muhammad), have demnonstrated the path less chosen and yet avaialble to all beings - the path of enlightment.

in walking on the path of enlightenment, gautama-buddha came to be a fully liberated being, and as such, he could share his insight and perhaps even ways and means to get there, like a map. but only, you, young, can get there.

goenka-ji, in the day 2 talk emphasizes the importance of the enlightment process as experiential, self-experiental. in turn, he makes, and illuminates, the fallacy of paths that only require you to have blind faith and seek salvation in a man, in a person, in someone else who might've had the enlightenment experience.

a man comes to guatama-buddha with this very issue. many people come to you, the man says. they try your suggestions. some succeed and are getting closer to the path of liberation. some struggle, but are learning meditation. some come and don't seem to be getting any further. they are still agitated by all that is happening in their lives. i unbderstand you are doing good works, but you are a powerful man. why not just give all who come to you salvation.

gautama-buddha hears this, and understands that the man possibly may not want to do the work neccessary to set himself free of the bondages of the illusive world. or that he may genuinely believe in the supernatural powers of someone else and in turn not see that he has the same capacity within him to grow into enlightenment. all of us do.

gautama-buddha asks the man where the man is from. the man tells him that he is from another part of india. gautama-buddha then asks him if he ever visits home.

oh, yes, the man replies. atleast once a month. 
is it far? gautama buddha asks.
yes, the man responds.
have you ever described how to get there to your friends here or do you keep it a secret? 
why a secret? the man says, a bit stupefied by the revered's line of questioning. why i tell them. 
what do you say? gautama buddha asked.
why, i tell them that you walk past the rail station for a few miles, than when there are no more roads, you go north until the sand becomes muddy, and then you walk into the first road you see past the small lake, the man said (something like that).
does everyone you tell know how to get there? gautama buddha asked.
what? how is that possible? the man asked. how can they know unless they have taken the journey themselves. 
young man, gautama buddha said, this is exactly what i've been trying to show you. there are people who might've taken the journey to enlightenment, and they can even describe the road there, but unless you take the journey yourself, no one else can get there for you.  

salvation lies in learning from the arif-Ullah's - those who Know - and by taking the journey that lies ahead for you.

sure there are laws, goenka-ji says, as if this is tertiary. he says this, in addressing the modern age of information-saturation, and the accomplishment of buying into the so-called evidence-based scientific method set forth by western science. there tends to be a tendency among us in the modern age to over-intellectualize, consume, appropriate...

the laws, dharma, are the same laws you will find in all religious paths, goenka-ji says: do not steal, do no harm, avoid sexual misconduct, be respectful of all creation...

thing is, goenka says, this can be logically known in the intellectual phase at first. for instance, if you don't like someone stealing from you, then don't steal from them. if you don't want someone sexually exploiting, manipulating you, or your mom, or your sister, or father, or brother, then don't do this to anyone else, etc, etc.

you get it.

but to really understand, goenka-ji says, you have to experience it. just as someone describing the impact of putting their hand in a flame, will not serve to give you the same understanding as you putting your hand in the flame.

goenka-ji is not saying go steal or have wanton sex, to experience how it might be messed up. instead, what he is saying is, experience through witnessing, watch your thoughts. observe them. notice the sensory responses that come up. just observe them. and then watch them go away. no itch is forever, he says. when an itch comes up during meditation, watch it. notice it. then watch it go away.

accept reality for what it is. just notice it. and watch it pass. this is the process of letting go of that which may deceive us - our senses.

a feeling comes - a piece of chocolate sure would be nice right now. you run to the store, arguing with yourself the whole time how you've been getting cavities, and eczema from the chocolate, and yet, just a bite won't hurt. you get a bar, find a place to enjoy it. before you have a piece, you are on to the second, than third, until the whole bar is gone. same thing happens the next day and the next day. it becomes a habit. your teeth are black and falling out. you scratch your body incessantly from the eczema. yet you are still getting the chocolate.

madness, goenka-ji says of this monkey mind, of this sensory-driven brain that is in control of your body.

a situation happens, your boss yells at you. there are options, goenka-ji suggests. you can react with the sense of emotion, of hurt, of anger. or you can simply watch what is happening, notice the emotion that surfaces, and then delve into why it has come to fore, and then let it go.

vipassana is a technique that allows you to do the minor, minuscule surgery that is responsible for all this heartache, anger, disappointment, depression, obesity, malnourishment, etc.

take the time to take the journey. only you can do it. i'll do the same. i'm rooting for you.