...ramadhan intentions...

...all praise is due... ramadhan is upon us... the number 9... the return... going back, re -coalesence... why... how... what's different?...

...last night... at the cafe... one friend asked another how his smoke-drink was going... he was sharing how he has it down... or mostly... just a week ago he was practicing in front of me... it made me wonder about progress... how am i making progress in my art?... in my life...?...

...my dad says to walk back... 10 years... walk through your past 10 years... and ask yourself what you have done... haven't...

...one thing he... my dad... shared upon my brother discussing his work with bees... harvesting the honey... etc... single-minded focus leads to success...

...single mindedly... what are you doing?... if you are single-mindedly watching t.v... you are getting more acclimated to this in body and mind...

...i have been a bit more single-minded in pinchamyurasana, dwi-pada-shirasasana, and handstand practice... this has been yielding better results... i warm up... and then focus on these asanas... and the prepratory asanas...

...single minded focus... i single minded focus in writing daily... but there is little progress... why?... that's the question... i think the answer is that in order to be meaningful in single minded focus... you have to be reaching for something... you have to be aiming higher than you already are... you have to play with the players...

...in my writing... reaching higher would mean working on conflict... on contrast of goals between characters... in delving in this arena to story tell...

...in herbal blends... i have to blend... and try these blends... i have to use singles and support people in their process... to account for change in their life... to see if it's working or not...

...progress...

...how do i use the Knowledge You have given me ALLAH?... how do i grow... progress?...

...my brother - 1-who-Knows-ALLAH sent me a text yesterday... a hadith... something to the effect of how the prophet was gifted a slaughtered sheep... he shared it with his friends... and the poor... leaving only the neck for him and his family.... when one of his family members mentioned this... that we only have the neck... he said no... we have everything else...

...all praise is due... so how do i give more?... how do i grow more giving without being torn apart?... how do i Love deeper?
... last year - how do i fall in Love with You...
response: through Connection... how do i Connect... by being in community... by being present/in service to others/Creation...
how do i do this? i then asked
response: through surrender...
how do I surrender?
response: through putting your head to the ground... letting go of the ego... sacrifice...

...this year... i ask... if i Know that to fall in Love with You... i need to Connect with Your Creation, by being in service... by meaningful interaction... by being in community... and doing this through keeping humble... how do i do this with what i know... what i have spent time crafting? my medicinal practices - writing, yoga, herbs, food, bodywork... practices...?...

...i think the answer may be to share... but how do i share in a way that also sustains me?... krsna says to act from a place of duty without looking for/expecting fruits for your action...

...hustle...

...everyone is hustling... they say... they being you and me... hustling being you and me... are you?... is it okay... there is the food vendor hustle, the cab driving hustle, the artisit hustle, the writers hustle, the babysitters hustle, the cigarette sellers hustle, the herbalists hustle, the acupuncturists hustle, the hair-braider/cutter/stylists hustle...

...everyone is hustling... unless you are a professional... professionals work for the goernment, or companies stable like roman pillars... they work with security... they have a pension plan, health care, vacation days.... teachers, engineers, doctors, etc....

...these positions may be a byproduct of socialism, of creating security, of offering people a way to be  productive members of society...

...is there a way to be both, to reflect truth that embraces creative impulse, innovation, individual worth and talent, in a way that grows supports each other, instead of cutting each others throat?... is there a way that we can work together while working in a meaningful way that honors our individual Truth?... that keeps us in community and accountable?...

...perhaps shifting the mentality on your work being about you...about how you are the best and rising to the top, to doing the best, and being the best you... to support others being the best them... to build greater collectivity, greater opportunity to be in community, work in community... perhaps innovation, if premised on community, if working towards sustaining and building community, to big each other up, can be the resolve? a resolve...

...my being a medicine man to your being a chef, to your being a builder, to your being a gardener... to your being a writer... to your being a medicine man and me chefing...

...do for the sake of doing... to help... to support... because peter and barnabas went out there to spread the Word.. because the Word was greater than flesh...

...what is the Word for You... what do you feel so compelled by, that is beyond your individual self, that you need to be out there and share in community?...

...afterall... we build each other up... even if babylon tells us to be in competition, to be in opposition... Reach Higher and You will get there...

...comfort zone...

...where are you most comfortable?... no... actually... what i mean is where are you most complacent?...

... i have been hearing that life begins at the end of your comfort zone... do you hear that? feel that?... i do... i feel that in my yoga practice...

...to work towards more control in press-ups, i watched a video that this guy did on youtube, showing several different types of push-ups... i've done almost all of them, but only actively do a few... the ones i'd like to incorporate are: finger pushups, side to side's, pike push-ups, downward dog pushups, shoulder taps....

...to leave your comfort zone you have to embrace what you are afraid of with a next... next level... and focus 1000 with it... and be okay with falling... and get to that point where you almost fall, and when you do... get back up and do it again... and do this for a period of time... and then share it... make sure you are in a circumstance of sharing/publishing/connecting...

...of course Connection is an intrinsic process and what your left hand does yur right hand shouldn't know about... with that said... and believed... we live in a world of mulitilplicty, woth many many other beings - people, other relative-animals, etc... how are we connecting with one another?...

...my comfort zones are the cafe... i love coming to the cafe and haicing my reward - chilling, saying what's up to folk, having an immediated opp to connect, without being tied into an obligatory hang out, in which we have to do something that is not creative... that is, i can still engage in my writing, in sipping healthy bouts of matcha latte... and you know...

...and this could be beautiful... except it is keeping me from spending time in other areas of my life like making medicine, like making moves in housing, in socializing or being in social scenarios that will help me stay Connected with others... meet others, etc...

...my cafe experience could be propelled by doing a dedicated hour of writing, in which i am there only to write and do a dose of this... and then immediately share it... or get into a spavce of publishing it... this would up the ante... and what would up the ante even more is if i were to puvlish or submit it that night... and that it would help... that it would serve others somehow...

...my comfort zone is being in a space of clutter, of putting off decluttering until i get the perfect schema for getting rid of these things... of selling them... of doing this fundraiser... but in the process i haven't done antyhign with them... they are sitting and crowiding me into a tip toe... i relocated back here in september 2018... it is may 2019... a while ago... the space i reside in has only grown in clutter... i've done little with all the medicine i have... and if i were to die today, i would wonder why i didn't do anything with all these resources i have...

...to leave my comfort zone... to really get out of being okay with hoards of stuff... i would need to dedicate a specified amount of time daily to declutter... to put things up on ebay... to see if i could delegate this task to someone else... is there anyone out there that sells your stuff for you?...

...to leave my comfort zone in decluttering i need to Work on making medicine and to up the ante on this take orders... to put them up on my site... to attend fairs/conferences in which i sell them... what i've learned is that it is not enough to buy stuff... you can have a guitar, but if you aren't taking the time to play, to grow deeper in your craft... if you aren't upping the ante by doing shows... you aren't getting feedback... and in turn, you are staying a scrub... i want to be playing on stage with rush, metallica, for nas, mos, alanis morisette, bjork... i want to be in conversation with naguib mahfouz and sylvia plath in my writings...

...have a launch party... autonomedia... d.i.y... set up shop somewhere... take orders... people have been asking for this... i have... i want to self-Actualize... it will appeal to those on the path of spirit...

...to leave my comfort zone in yoga... take classes with eminent teachers... go harder in practice ... put my work out through instagram... lead classes to Connect...

... panchakarma... the panchakarma healing center ... sign folk up and take a non-refundable deposit...

...to leave my comfort zone in writing - publish... enter contests... do it now... have an accountability partner...

...to leave my comfort zone in marriage... get in front of her... consistently... carve time for this...