...full moon january 2020...

...moments of Truth... are they before you... before... is it a past a future?... did you miss it?...

...self-helped out... carousel into a mood... swing from the subways into a dive... dial 9.11 in flight... landing in the conjunction of saturn and pluto... read lines of doubts in her eyes before asking...

...kissed winter rushing through the rush... beat time with my tanktop off... until i hung from the every words of every ted talk and prophet and prophecy and made distinctions...

...its only cloudy... the rain held heavy... like nausea suppressed like the howl of a child in mid cry...

...i saw the best minds of my generation... lost and gone away...

...full moon... watched her from philly to new york while g spoke doubts lovers manifestos...

...carried his scars in a paper crane i gave him...

...leaving the nest...

...this earth cycle exists in the becoming... in what can be through structure... foundation...

...write because i have to... writing doesn't benefit from it... that's what i'm told.. i've learned about prayer... about bowing down... about ramadhan and giving excesses... none is needed... they serve you... and in turn they serve us...

...rooting for you... for You...

...capricorn... zany... lee... practical... pragmatic... initiators... non-competitive... confident... independent... in movement this happens through grounding... through staying close to the ground... to staying on the ground... through following law... start and finish... float into... all fours on the ground... start in samasthiti at the back of your mat... walk yur hands forward... chataranga... upward... downward... float... jump through... pashimotoasana...

...in the name of... jan. 3 ... day 12 of the new year...

...on 21 dec... the earth completed its cycle around the sun... 9 days from that people in western countries celebrated the coming of the next day... 10 days in and jan 1st... today is the 3rd... the number 12...

...in the past 12 days i've been working more on the edges... on priorities... on not trying to do it all... Working to Reach goals through embracing the missing habits that are keeping me from this... i.e. familiarity... it's a repetition... safe... keeps me in the quadrant of quarantined in safe... complacent... bubble boy... boy-man... man-child... realized this in a list of comfort zones i made...

...cafes... staying at mama n papa's... drinking matcha lattes daily... relaxing into lazy poses in asana practice... doing multiple things at once... i.e. eating... reading... typing... surfing the web... listening to music...

...the theme here is complacency... to counter this... actively asking myself what would be uncomfortable?... and doing it... this being different then what am i afraid of... i am comfortable in the local cafe i go to... i am uncomfortable going somewhere else... went somewhere else today... am somewhere else right now... comfortable in warming into a space... not taking initiative...

...therein lies another issue with goals not being accomplished... like putting myself out there... getting housing... make my Work my life... finding a wife... it requires initiative... it requires taking initiative... been taking initiative in conversations... in asking for concrete times and days...

...of course this also requires a fear - commitment - if i take initiative beyond a momentary experience... it requires me to make a commitment to something in the future... this would mean limiting options... this is scary... why?... because another better option may come along... i may miss something... which is all true... and i'm okay with that...

...my goals for this year are in regards to publishing - to share writings that have been Gifted me through the Time of the One-ness... are to finesse series 1-3... have a depth in every pose... gain access and ease in the poses i am struggling with... and go on to series 4... and share all this with you... and you... and you... so you can go beyond the body... notice the body... become a witness to it... experience presence through embracing pain... to obtain a house for us and housing within a space of community towards the goal of eco-village/intentional community...co-housing - village... to build a traditional medicine practice involving clinic school cafe csa apothecary... to be able to contribute significantly to homeostasis of our planet... species... and peace... and also sustaining thriving and sharing in the currency... to marry... plant seeds... children... you and me... yeah... i've been waiting... think i'ma make a move...

...wine for us... poetry... exchange... movement... art... creating... nature... a forest... in a space of exchange... shifted... shifting... ghalib... hafez... rilke...