...intentions... this month... started with a half step... started in the space of doubt... self-doubt... panic... fear... ungrounded at that knowing i've done it before... fasted... for years... and yet it comes up... not today... it'll be too much... but it doesn't feel right when i don't... and it feels great... not eating... just drinking liquids... so i know it is a mind thing... i know that it is psychosomatic... and so i partially gave in... doing a partial fast for one day... and then a full fast the following day... a departure from the usual...
...the departure didn't grow in risk... which i'm reminded of here... in a cafe... just like i was in montreal... in madrid... in goa... sipping... being here instead of a class... instead of a community struggle... alone... reclused... immersed in writings that i do nothing with... of ocurse there doesn't have to be a product... of course... the Light...
...years in cafes... which make sense if there was a share component... why isn't there?... how do i get this out to you?... how have others done it...?...
...start with what is doable... what you can get out... start with a clear aim... aim is to get this work of short stories published... why?... because... to be in conversation with you and you and you... to be in dialogue with history... to be part of the shape... the change... the growth... the Love Supreme... because i was inspired to write this... so it can't be about me...
this month... last month... end of the world scenarios... now that its ending... what?... enjoy company... each other... Love... Lovers... make Love... say it... give... Be... sacrifice...
...last month... aim shoot... this month... this month... upon reflection... what i learned is that aim shoot has to be active... a doing... a 99% practice... like todays yoga practice... had clear aims... meaning a moment to moment... a thing to thing... a one thing to another thing... aim and shoot...
...ashtanga... tertiary... quartenary... completing intermediate... and finessing poses in primary... have been a goal... but often this is a b.g. thought... an intention... not always with clear and actionable steps that i take...
...but i have been recently with my matless mat... stepping with an aim... tratasana... supta trivikramasana... reclining splits... dwi pada viparita dandasana... super soldier... bhuja vinyasa... aimed and shot... and fell... and shot... and missed... and shot again...
...doing this with my writing... starting with a time commitment... with the fiction... the short stories... been aiming for 1 hour of uninterrupted revising... aiming for three hours a day...
...aim in medicine making is to share plant medicine... to deepen my connection to the plant medicine but also to share... to help my aunties... ammu and abbu... a medicine kit... that includes hygeine that is not anti- but pro-... that isn't taxing of resources but complements... that is grounded in ethics - local/seasonal/0 waste... to hold community classes... yoga... ayurveda... writing...
...aim in culinary arts is to make vegan cakes using the residue of pulp...
...aiming and shooting... what's your aim?... how are you practicing daily...?...
...this virus reminds us to stay humble... to take risks... that ALLAH Knows best... and what will happen will happen... so stop clutching for safety... for caution... doing things out of fear... as you may be worrying even now... what will happen if i lose my job?... it would be a Gift... an opp to step your game up... to Reach Higher... to do exactly what it is you would want to be doing in regards to Purpose... what would You be doing?... what is Your Purpose...?... not the reckless do you that the media promotes in our modern world... but the Real You... why Are You here...?... if You want to Know how you may discover this... consider what inspires You... what makes You feel Your Highest...?... and then share this... Reach... let go... stop pinching the dollars and cents... the weekly paychecks... the familiarity... dive... into Purpose...
