...4.20.22... r

 

...there's a space... spaces between... Love and lust... desire and purpose... knowledge and prophecy... 

conversations i had this month... that see me in the circumambulation between nyc ithaca philly and salt lake... places where my heartbeats... where they beat before i ever got here... 

...how did i get here... ?... how did you?... the story is that there was an act of love, of lovemaking, of an exchange... of a planting of seeds... of an egg that embraced it... of the replication of life... of chromosomes x and y, of a transcription of data into code of a c t g strips of millions for liver and cardiac cells of muscle and neural cells... blood... pumped... nutrients and toxins exhcanged through the placenta,,, a mycelilial communication forum between the mother who bears the child and me... the child... suckling... taking it all in... through my belly... through Be coming... 

...in the name of the One... why did this all start?... where does it all go?... 

...48000 cameroonians given temporary status to work and live in the u.s... the east and west of urkraine bombed... israeli soldiers backed by nuclear arms storm and break up worship in the al aqsa mosque... utah's mormon population decreases for the first time since 1920 something... what does it all mean?... 

...if birth is special and of the millions of possible sperm that attempt to engage in discourse... it's mostly unlikely any will... so if you... me... take birth... it's a big deal... then what does it mean that the fastest growing populations are black and brown... in american and abroad...?... does this mean more unborn spirits are seeking to be african or indian or latin or asian?... does it mean that taking birth in these bodies is only meaningful if we take on certain bodies?... that the majority of body's on earth aren't lucky but cursed?... that taking birth is actually a curse?... if so, what is the purpose?... what are we supposed to do with this?... 

...what is the point of life?... is it the same for all of us?... does race ethnicity sex factor into purpose intrinsically?... is our purpose based more on being here in these bodies... and what experiences these bodies have...?... in the name of it ALL... i have no clue how any of this Works... and the older i get the less any of this makes sense... and i want it to... and i don't know how to divirce the reality of the world - of sex, race, naitonality... all the things that cause us to cringe... to desire... to want... to hate...

...the one thing that remains steady is the Work... of Creating... of playing and exploring... of seeing what happens... of ritual and prayer... of going deeper... 

3.28.22 real yogis move in Quiet...

 ...yoga enters me... icelandic astoria ny... have you heard there's a war...?... did your belly tell you... or was it from a ringing in your head... the mother of all bombs... afghanistan in your mind... a shock and awe into the end... of march... 2022... and what've you done?... a lot... too much... crossing off things on your to do?... setting timers... trying out the new appointments app... meeting lots of new people and feeling a jolt of excitement from every lunch and dinner...?... wanting more... not knowing what to do when you don't have this... when you are by yourself, with a page of crossed items... 

...hopping through i.g. posts... trying to find something to occupy time... time ticks like a bomb... if you let it... or it blows like a breeze off the ocean of desert under a canopy of galaxies in circumambulation... mecca... the hajj in the arches... bow down... bowed down to You... Always... with that no strings... with that Love that comes with and from wings... with Pure giving... 

...this month... Quietness... going deeper in practices without telling anyone... giving abbu rent without telling anyone else... starting a school of ancient medicine... Trusting abbu Knows... Loving him without anyone else there... doing without looking for acclaim... being transparent without anger... with compassion... without audience... 

...last month was letting go... this month is getting deeper with what i let go of by doing it from a place of Quiet... without making show... going into the womb... not looking for acclaim... like getting better with time because it will be helpful and considerate of those around me... showing up... in a Way that is honoring... 

...doing clinics without looking for photo-ops... going deeper in yoga practice... going deeper in the teaching... praying... being transparent... Listening more than speaking... 

...in the name of the Most... 

...sending flowers... making cards... gifting... playing... playful... 

...today my feet walked a foot off the grounds of 37th ave, as i flew up the stairs and hopped over the turnstyles, not stopping for the man who said "amigo" a couple of times, having flashes of an undercover about to pull my shoulder and flash a badge, quick... ran quick and twisted on the platform to walk to the opposite platform... to the edge... floating with gravity in bags - a bag man - back pack, duffle bag, and hand bag... asked for gravity to release me when i jolted up the stairs of 23rd and lex... didn't turn when women that would've caught my eye passed with shifts and scents of attraction... attracted to the air of Love i'd Surrendered to... at once a durga-puja, and a One-ness... yogi and sufi... brown and yellow and red and white and black and olive... left my clothes at the laundromat... your identity talk, brown this and black that and white this left me spinning... left you in the spin cycle... feel free to join when you get naked too... 

...got nothing to sell... i don't have anything for you to buy... been creating... been Creating... without eyes to see... with Seeing... i See You... when i'm Quiet... 

...real yogis move in Quiet...