Thursday, March 23, 2023

ramadhan 2023 day 1

 ...in the name of the Source, the Ever Expanding, the One that is without beginning or end, the Essence of Love, the Vehicle of Peace...

...i bear witness that anything is possible, that problems range from stressful to traumatic, that we are always on the verge of something and often avoid it in the hiding of complacency, but through Work, Working, Reaching... embracing the hard, going hard in the paint... we get to grow, go, learn, transform, deep and meaningful... 

...easier said... i am not living with someone who abuses me physically or verbally or mentally... i am not hungry, other than what ramadhan induces, i am not struggling financially, even though i have little income.. i am not physically impaired... and yet i can't fly, can't stand with my leg behind my head...

...in the name and breath of the One... the One who is the Source of us all, these spirits, in these bodies...  

...trying to make sense of these bodies, these individuals, ones like my mom who has never cussed a day in her 60 plus years and like the woman behind her in the supermarket line, who felt entitled to yell, scream, cuss with the most acidic language for my source asking for a price check... deep, the entitlement of the poor and colored on everyone else, on the poor, on the colored, on those with Ways that are soft, kind, soil... the soil is destroyed through the annhilation of the forests, of replacing it with monocrops, and in the process making our kind Love Ways an anomaly, requiring that our continued existence in this realm of anger, rage, cuss so freeliness, quick to violence - the norm, the monocrop to belong... 

...i'll pass... again... and again... even though i find my soul dissipating in this soil, find my heart breaking, wondering why and how bystander apathy is so common, why and how those who are poor and peaceful of ancient cultures and Ways so readily targeted, made to feel like thieves and beggars... 

...but our dignity lies in ALLAH... not the lies... in that which is beyond time and space, and this moment of anguish and cuss words and violence... ALLAH is Greater than empires, so why wouldn't ALLAH Be Greater than a moment of harshness... ALLAH is Greater than even religion...

...ALLAH is that which Is... beyond mental grasp... Known possibly through the spaces, what the prophets describe as Quiet... in the name and breath of... i begin this ramadhan with this moment of challenge, of violation, of the violation of the source... and i wonder what the sign is... 

...me cursing back, violencing back would be to make this woman of misery, hate, latina racism, to be an idol, to be the focus of worship, to be the one i bow down to, by replicating her ways... to Listen, to Love, to Vulnerable, to cry to nod, to Try for Greater, to Reach for Higher, wouldn't be taking a Higher stand, it would be embodying the Path, the Way, the Truth - sat sri akal - ALLAH is the Ultimate Truth and regardless of how humans behave regardless of whether their violence is white or black or latin or brown or yellow or red... they are/we are only engaging with who are base selves are, we are minimizing Truth, balspheming the Gift to Be Love, to Be You, i want to Be Like You... 

worm moon 2023

 ...march worms like a lion lost in the caged wilderness of american zoos trapping trap music to lead a migration into a chaotic lust for anything that moves dopamine from dormant neural cells to a rapid fire like the mass shooting in uvalve texas, in parkside florida, in community centers in northern cali during chinese new year... something exciting about hearing hysteria... why?... 

...an americana that plays through the synergy of the most affluent and most marginalized communities in nyc... in those who toot their own song of philanthropy or victimhood of oil rich or hood rich, both engaged in terrorizing regions of people plants other species... looking for the portrait of hero hood and fame in the name of people... 

...the one man show dominates... holds gradation... some are extreme with it... some are tucked into triple layers of manipulation... 

...why do i mention this...?... in others a mirror... in the questions is the fragrance of the flower... the map lines to the island lie in the scent you smell... in the turmoil i experience, the judgement, the hurt, the disappointment, lies the Truth... the answers... 

...the problem is the Gift and this lesson of the Qur'an, the prophet, rumi, hafez... the teachings of those on a path that i've read, recited, quoted, becomes clear... starkingly so this full moon, today... 

...these last few days... what a Gift to be thrown off the rigamarole of nonsensical complacency in the norm, in staying in a lane that is safe enough for now, that relinquishes responsibility to hide, to staying hidden... the problem is income, is sustainability, is wasting time, not making of this time what would be beneficial to life, to me, to mother father wife brothers kids... 

...in the name of ALLAH... the lesson is to embrace discomfort deeper in diet, in movement, in practices - cooking, yoga, writing... in the area of obstacle - monetizing, having sustainable economics... the problem of how to ensure others benefit from my Work and i benefit from there's... of going deeper into the Lover for what arises when i feel criticized, hurt... instead... approach it with how to Love deeper through asking what is the opportunity here? what is the Gift i am being presented with? instead of embarasment, instead of in the way, instead of annoyance... breathe into the Lover and embrace the Gift... 

Wednesday, January 4, 2023

twenty twenty three

 twenty twenty three... a number that resides in a future in a calendar i've begun to wonder the merits of... and everyone is dying... and many have died in this past earth cycle and the sun has been reborn and i hope this new birth of this new sun is one that is forgiving is compassionate and increases my tapas to Work for the cause of the brother and sister hood of man... the Creation... all species...and today i did nothing to really advance this... no good deeds... no money made... spent time and money though... on myself... on trying to figure out to put this novel together... but i ma well aware that i can no longer waste these precious moments and just put aside entire volumes of work that take entire volumes of time for the sake of doing, of getting through... but to share... it is about sharing and crafting and getting better at translating to speak within the discourse of people of us... so that it's into just about me doing me talking to myself but me going deeper in me by learning how to BE ith and connect with You... 


this year i do this through Listening to Reaction... and healing that reactive part of me... is creating to be in public dialogue and currency... to aliven the current, connect the current, continue the current of Peace Love... Oneness