surah ix: the repentance

"go forth, light armed and heavy-armed, and strive with your wealth and your lives in the way of ALLAH! that is best for you if ye but knew" (ix: 41).

what is the way? lost, i ended up in an island off the coast of aspiration, on the shores of cash rules everything - cream - "through the lights camera, action, glitter and gold, i unfold the scroll, plant seeds to stampede the globe..." nas tells us, in verbal intercourse, and we listened, looking for a connection to Higher, looking to move past the sheepskins and ralph lauren symbols we were branded by.

i fled, as surah ix, suggests you do. suggests you see what happens when you walk away from what appears:

"travel freely in the land four months, and know that ye cannot escape ALLAH and that ALLAH will confound the disbelievers" (ix : 2)

i ended up in domsey's, off of marcy, behind the projects and past the hasidic warehouses. domsey's was a four floor thrift shop under the williamsburgh bridge, before the takeover, when hipsters where foretold in street scriptures of a war that would ensue, one that was so silent, that it would appear as business as usual, and the first casualty would be truth. it always is, the streets said at mid day, in front of the weed spot, which the cops turned a blind eye to.

i left the tribe of queens, i rolled with, in the polo mansion, on madison ave, and snuck into domsey's, getting wardrobes for $20, and rocking the village look, the urban hippy image, as it was classified. my underground and i took pride in this. glorified these threads, found a way to place it on a pedestal and let morrisey and robert smith and eddie veder and diggable planets and the other stars who rocked this look, be our guides, be our light for understanding, for acceptance, for assimilation into the same realm my queens tribe of polo and tommy hill, was part of.

like the idolaters of old, i took in celebrities as my idol. i looked to them for my fashion sense, for a nod. "they have taken as lords beside ALLAH their rabbis and their monks and the messiah son of mary, when they were bidden to worship only One God. there is no god save Him" (ix: 31).

my monks were singers and actors who were guided by mirrors and nihilism, a look of coffee and a newspaper to criticize. an empty that was produced by the hollow. until i was paused by the newer gods, the ones that chicks batted their lashes for - jay and fifty and juel santana, and men who wore earrings worth more than the gdp of their entire hood. i listened attentively to the gucci this, diamond that, and found myself taking heed. reciting their scripture in the chinatown knock-off spots were i copped fake gold chains and sold them when they got a little brown.

"triumphant are those who turn repentant, those who serve, those who praise, those who fast, those who enjoin the right and who forbid the wrong and those who keep the limits of ALLAH" ( ix: 112).

the limits resonate throughout the surahs. the purchase of diamonds and the value of gold and silk and armani, etc, devalue the earth, the precious reserves that these products are stolen from, the exploitative tilling of land that rapes and pillages forests and lakes, makes them into dunes of bangladeshi ash.

"know they not that ALLAH knoweth both their secret and the thought they confide, and that ALLAH is the Knower of things hidden"  (ix: 78).

my rebrith is daily, although it began over a decade ago, when the hollow gripped me by the throat at the supper club, held me up against the wall of the v.i.p section my transient crew and i popped bottles we snuck in. after i left again, after, another after. the hollow spoke britannica, spoke ancient volumes from alexandria and i heard and ignored and i heard and pretended not to and i heard and was stirred into fasting six months after ramadhan, six months after another make up to break up.

since i've been treading, like a child moving past a crawl, like an adult on ice for the first time in bryant park, like a hunchback walking a tight rope for the first time. i'm walking like the ekg of a bass head. i'm walking and listening to voices, voices like my own who says one thing and does another. who believes in Truth and dances with the devil. so, it's easy for me to see it in others, the hypocrites, surah ix tells us. they are all around. they are there to confuse you, to restrain you from growth, to have you think you are missing something, to have you hate like them cause they are miserable, cause they haven't dealt with their misery.

"the hypocrites, both men and women, proceed one from another. they enjoin the wrong, and they forbid the right, and they with-hold their hands (from spending for the cause of ALLAH). they forget ALLAH, so hath He forgotten them"  (ix: 67)

i see them and they remind me to forget. they have the look of menace, of derision. i see them cause i see myself in them. i know that i'm capable of the same, although i don't believe i am. i know they are me, they are my lower i, the one that produces toxic emotional landfills that can be seen like highlighter colors from pluto.

the hypocrites are all around. it is the default babylon frequency we bop to, we walk in. it is the train we are all in unless we choose to get off, unless we choose to steer away, as the late howard zinn reminded us - you can't be neutral in a moving train.

give peace to all. love to the hypocrites. but stay on your path. stay focused. keep your armour on. the battle has just begun. walk, and seek repentance. "ALLAH is He who is the Relenting, the Merciful" (ix : 102).

surah viii: spoils of war

"o ye who believe! when ye meet an army, hold firm and think of ALLAH much, that ye may be successful (viii: 45).

belief, real belief, lends a strength that the shaolin monks attribute to the ability of their feet to smack the heads of foes in opposite directions, that yogi's credit in their legs coming behind their neck.

belief according to surah viii, results in a tangible outcome.

the scene of surah viii is the battlefield. the battlefield has been a common place of metaphor for vessels of truth, of poetry, of women and men over time who have contemplated the subject of spiritual war. "rise up fallen fighters," bob marley commands, in his song the heathen. "rise and take your stance again. he who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day."

the fight, we are told in surah viii, is the war of life, is the battle of the faithful, to go beyond their ego, to conquer their lower i's, to cut off the life supply to their arrogance, for, ""the worst of beasts in ALLAH's eyes are the ungrateful,who will not believe" viii: 55.

i almost missed my morning ritual again today. i looked at the clock and with no job to compell me in to their plantation, who i would easily hop in the shower and rush out for, i stayed in bed, peeking at time, weighing excuses to forgo asanas. 15 minutes in, 15 minutes into laying around like my manifestation as a human were infinite, after scheming on the threads i would rock at the party next week, the bronx kangol that shrey, randa, and allison grew weak in the knees for, i shook my head. the militia of shaitan was strong throughout my body and mind, but constancy, has prepared me for this moment. i entered the battlefield in samasthiti, standing straighter than a geometric line.

"love is a battlefield," pat benatar reminded us, back when fat shoelaces were worn like silk. "we are young, heartache to heartache we stand, no promises, no demands."

in the face of infinity, we are always young, and in the face of babylon and babylon relations, getting caught up can be constant, because we are perpetually in a newness, perpetually looking for someone to take us Higher. and when they do, the fear arises that it may not last, that something will go wrong, that he's checking out your homegirl or was m.i.a for the past couple days, or that she's always making excuses - why? what's good?

the tension of intimacy keeps you locked in place, makes you gasp for air, only to dive back in, only to go back into the bp spill of a relationship you are drowned in. but time.

months later, you are bored of saying sweet nothings. you have nothing new to add. you are as excited by her as a show that has been on the air for 11 seasons.

what's next? what's new? your homeboy asks when you see him. you grin, when you notice the cinnamon shorty at his dinner party, the one with the long curly hair and door knocker earrings. that's what's good, you think, after he introduces you both, after you sit right across from her, and conversations stretch from brooklyn to thai massage schools outside bangkok. numbers exchange, dialed.

later that week, movies, late night walk through the park, past shared like browning photos and whispers through the pillow. ecstasy, your bodies drugged by miguel - do you like drugs? do you like drugs? yeah, i do, i do, i do do do. and a week in, the bilal concert at s.o.b's is only a background for the newness you float through, a new new york for the 333rd time.

3 months later and you're wondering how you got in this, how you really can't stand her talk about thai massage....

no one can take you there, but You, but the fight to go beyond the ephemeral, to embrace every moment with the utmost Love, and go Higher. this happens through war, through the battlefield with the enemy of promise, the one who rings in your voice: "and when satan made their deeds seem fair to them and said: no one of mankind can conquer you this day, for i am your protector."  (viii: 48)

the devil's words are enticing. the devil - laziness, ego, arrogance, fear, procrastination, perfectionism. the devil - you, your lower i. but as you know when - you ate that red forest cake, when you chomped down on all those pizzas, when you lied again, when you smoked another cigarette, ashed another blunt, downed another bottle - the devil lies. those lies are felt. "when the armies came in sight of one another, he took flight" (viii: 48). where is your strength when you have subscribed to the devil, when your laziness has led you weaker, thinner, fatter, under sheets, under employed, wasting at wine bars when homeless men stare with a cup of change, men who wear your eyes?

engage in battle, take heed of the guidance of those who lived in alignment, with the Guru's. the snicker on his face is the battle, if that's what gets you upset. the lack of acceptance from those you seek acceptance from is the battle if that's what hurts you. the rejection from jobs that never call you back, thank you for applying but, that keep you from a paycheck, is the battle, if that's what brings you down. the inability to commit, to trust, to close the gap between you and others, is the battle, if that's what keeps you from the Lift.

have faith. when you are aligned with the Oneness you know that there are no walls, no barriers. that this is only a moment, that you should give it the utmost honor by engaging in battle, by letting go, by being fearless, by working from Love, but know that it is just a moment and the outcome is unimportant, that the outcome will be right, will be aligned.

regardless of the gravity of the obstacles before you, have faith and engage in the war against the lower i's. engage with a fearless diligent Love.

"o prophet! exhort the believers to fight. if there be of you twenty stedfast they shall overcome two hundred, and if there be of you a hundred stedfast they shall overcome a thousand of those who disbelieve" (viii: 66)

all praise is due...

surah vii: the heights

"He it is who did create you from a single soul" (vii: 189).

the enlightened of the world recognize this.the enlightened exist in the heights, they can see from the heights,

"And the dwellers on the Heights call unto men whom they know by their marks: What did your multitiude and that in which ye took your pride avail you?" (vii : 48). the enlightened are known in yoga as masters, as people who have awakened their kundalini and in turn the subtle paths of energy along the ida and pingala channels, all the way through to the crown chakra. their 3rd eye is wide awake. they move fearless through soho shops, wall street bankers and lower east side projects.

the enlightened diminish the walls of their bodies in reaching into the One.

from brahma -the great nothingness, the maha consciousness, the realm of sattva, arises akash, vayu, agni, jala, prithvi - the elements that manifest as the doshas ayurveda has come to be known for - vata, pitta, kapha.

from a single atom...

adam fell prey to the need for more, for lust, took from the tree, even though he was warned to stay clear of iblis (shaitan/satan/lucifer/). even after adam was a testimony to the impeccable power of Air Land Liquid Atmosphere Heat to be more than just each of these elements.

adam's fallibility leads to the expansion of atoms, leads to the eve of ascension and, a constant flow of generations, of 6.5 billion on earth, plagued by the responsibility to reconnect, to get Higher. we have a great duty before us in our healing process. i wish you prayers in your healing. hugs, love, love you.

surah vii lays forth the equanimity of action, of karma.

all of our actions have a consequence, whether we can immediately recognize them or not. our words remain in the universe forever, bounce from tongue to ear to brain to heart to smile to hurt, to heartache, to fright or flight or plead, please, begging, knees, down on my knees girl - you can have it all - the house, the keys, the car. action, reaction. inhale exhale, attach, detach.

surah 7 reminds us to heed beyond the indriyas (senses) and connect the manas (mind) with the atman (soul) and avoid placing too much emphasis on adam, on these atoms that comprise you, which without proper practice, leads to the realm of punishment,  of fallibility into the trap of shaitan. this happens when you grow arrogant in your costume, when you put too much emphasis in this skin that is withering everyday, that holds an expiration date like a bottle of milk. bout to spoil. time is running out, debdas baul, sings, as he whirls in the hills of border bengal, between bangladesh, india and the transcendental. peace to the bauls.

so bow down. bow. touch your head to the ground. if you do so for an intimate other, do so in connecting to that soul that they are encased in, if you do so for another person, as you should, bow to the divinity in them, that is the single soul that is in bear and kangaroo and owl and pigeon and dolphin and chakma, and shantal, and baluchi, and waziri, and masai and taino and hopi and mong and kurd and comet and valley and jade and all praise to them. also bow down when no one is around, bow to the Great Mystery, to the fabric of it all.

among the spirit life, among those who already treaded on the earth and beyond it, iblis refused to prostrate. "i am better than him," iblis said of the formation of adam. "thou createdst me of fire while him Thou didst creat of mud," iblis said, referring to adam, referring to the protons and electrons that gave way to cells that formed into tissues that formed into the 7 dhatus referred to in ayurveda - rasa, rekta, mamsa, meda, asthi, majja, shukla. the story of lucifer is understood among muslims, christians and jews. the devil was an angel whose arrogance, whose refusal to bow to the atomic being of adam, led to his banishment, led to his contract to exploit the weakness of humans.

audzu biilahe minash shaitanur rajeem.

iblis is us. iblis lives in us like the parasitic worms i tried to flush out of my system during my december fast and almost did so.

karma. action reaction, my yoga teachers laid out for me in india. our deeds have consequences. so we reap what we sow, thus the need for Guidance from the gurus of the heights, from the enlightened ones. thus the need to humble up and listen or dwell in the static energy that leads to hell. hell is a consequence of action, is the cess pools that run like stale urine and defecation along the broken streets of bangalore.

 prophets were sent to provide us direction, be our gurus: "We sent noah" (59), and aad (65), and salih (73), and  moses...

"lo! they who deny Our revelations and scorn them, for them the gates of heaven will not be opened nor will they enter the garden until the camel goeth through the needles eye." (vii : 40)

the revelations are the scripture of life, of soul, can be heard in the mountains as moses heard them when he spent 40 nights there, after being so distraught by his people's constant questioning of him, even after he saved them from pharoah, even after he successfully negotiated the safe passage of his people through the parted sea.

"and we brought the children of israel across the sea, and they came unto a people who were given upto idols which they had. they said. o moses! make for us a god even as they have gods." (vii: 139). the israelites exemplify our desire for acceptance, our easy assimilation into what glitters, into being literal and looking for quick and easy solutions. "and the folk of moses, after, chose a calf, out of their ornaments...saw they not that it spake not unto them nor guided them in any way?" (vii: 148).

prophets, messengers, enlightened ones, yogis, gurus, arrive at their Arrival with a tuning fork so great they Harmonize and offer the perspective of Divinity, of the laws. but some of us hate hearing about laws, of accountability.

i'm a rebel to suits and ties, but also to sagging pants and new era hats, and also to dread-locks and images of yogi-being, of what it looks like to be spiritual - babylon. i am rebel to laws that benefit the exploiter class and penalize the soul class. but, as the book ishmael has taught me, as the rise and set of the sun and the seasons have taught me, there is a mathematics to this as ancient as the parched earth. this is observable.

none of us are above the law, even though we act like it, even though we have our middle fingers up to everyone and anyone in between us and whatever we want to do whenever, however.

we want evidence to everything, proof that there are laws - there is no proof that ayurveda works, i hear. the proof is before us. not even prophets can provide answers to sealed hearts. even the prophets have recognized their limitations: "knowledge thereof is with ALLAH only. He alone will manifest it at its proper time" (vii: 187).

surah vi: cattle

la illaha illalla - there is no ALLAH but ALLAH. if the word ALLAH frightens you - there is no God but God. if the word God doesn't sit well - there is no Essence but the Essence....

la illaha illala.

this is the declaration of Surrender (islam). this is the focus of surah vi: the cattle - the Oneness. the Oneness of Essence may have been a radical theory at the time, may have been heresy to those involved in bowing down to statues, in placing garlands on cattle as a sacrifice to the supreme god of the arabs - Allah. 

Allah, the supreme idol, received a larger portion of the offerings of the pagan arabs than the other gods. "and they say: such cattle and crops are forbidden. no one is to eat of them save whom we will...and they say: that which is in the bellies of such cattle is reserved for our males and is forbidden to our wives" (vi:140). 

these declarations of practice, of religion, are problematic, according to the teachings of surah vi. they create too much room for spook theories that justify injustice and institutionalize malpractice. "thus have their (so called) partners (of ALLAH) made the killing of their children to seem fair" (vi: 138). since there is no grounding in the proof that is Life, that are the signs - sun, moon, ocean, life and death - they lend themselves to spook practices.

the spook practices may legitimately recognize the world of spirit, as this is truth. over the years many people in my life have been in contact with spirits, with voices from other points of space and time. one of my heartbeats, nana, once told me about the spirits she spoke with. in fact, there'd be times when i thought she was on the phone, when she was talking out loud, and i'd arrive in the room she paced in and saw no phone in her hand, no other person in the room. she'd look at me and laugh. 

my greatgrandfather like my grandfather, was a medicine man. his specialization was catching djinn (spirits, the fire people). people in our ancestral village went to him with possessed sons, wives, husbands who stayed in the phooker (swamp-lake) all day. he'd arrive eight feet tall, his thick beard barely moving in the presence of the terrified djinn, who knew of him, who lashed out like banshees. my grandfather stood still with a large empty perfume bottle and prayers. within an hour he was done, walked quietly back, leaving mud huts in resolve.

some, mystified by the power of the djinn - their abilities to walk through walls, to shift shapes - bowed down. they bowed down to the djinn of the water and the djinn of the rice paddies, and the djinn of the summer and the djinn of the rainy season. "they ascribe as partners unto Him the djinn, although he did create them, and impute falsely, without knowledge, sons and daughters unto Him" (vi: 101).

there is only one, a oneness. so namaste to all, as all of us are soul and thus within the reaches of the One, by way of our shared Self. all of us, plant, lake, mountain, human, donkey, falcon, comprise the One-ness. but no one in particular. by bowing down to others, we become subject to ego, to misdirection, to missing the connection to the whole, and in turn participate in practices such as the pagan arabs were at the time: "they are losers who besottedly have slain their children without knowledge... they indeed have gone astray and are not guided." this refers to the practice of child burials, particularly female child burials, as offerings to the deities. 

abraham had to experience this on his own: "and when he saw the moon uprising, he exclaimed: this is my lord. but when it set, he said: unless my lord guide me, i surely shall become one of the folk who go astray (vi: 78). and when he saw the sun uprising, he cried: this is my lord! this is greater! and when it set he exclaimed: o my people! lo! i am free from all that ye associate" (vi: 79). 

what abraham realized was that the sun, moon sets, that life is change, that there is nothing, be it the leaves on a tree, nor the sand of the dessert, that is not subject to change, and although they are all elements of sustainability, they are not separate, they cannot be distinguished into component parts - "lo! i have turned my face toward Him who created the heavens and the earth" (vi: 80). 

the oneness of ALLAH can be understood in the hurt that you feel, there are others tied into your hurt - my friend dani tells me it is the winter, it is the grey clouds and cold winds, it is the women he loved, who he spent a year climbing with, leaving him, he says, his hurt stems from being away from the tropical soil of puerto rico, of the tongue that rolls like bomba there. dani's hurt is tied into everything and everyone else, all elements and people and beings. he talks to me and i listen, i grow sad too. he gives me a hug but doesn't place me on a cross. 

"the originator of the heavens and the earth! how can he have a child, when there is for him no consort, when he created all things and is aware of all things?" (vi: 102). 

all of us, can be understood as the sons and daughters of God, as part of the Creation, the sum of which equals ALLAH, equals the Oneness. hence the term One, of the early 2000's that replaced salam (peace) of the nineties. One, is the number of ALLAH, is the mathematics of existence. la illaha illala. 

surah v: the table spread

bismillah hirahma niraheem...

the table spread is the cloth of life, the fabric of the mundane dimension - trees, lakes, rivers, land, forests. the table spread are the fruits from which to choose from, the animals of the chain which graze and provide bodies when necessary - on occasion, to sacrifice (and it is a sacrifice as all beings are sacred and death of any should only be for the utmost purpose of maintenance) - the skies to breathe.

in this reality, in this manifestation of being, as a human, the spread of fruits and vegetables and elements, should be carefully picked from, lovingly tasted, and savored, but with the understanding that there are limits, that life in this frequency is a Gift and should be interacted with as such. this approach to the Gift applies from our bodies, to the body of the earth.

to appreciate this gift of divinity, to partake in the Creation, and at once, to understand the limits, requires surrender (islam). this surrender is only possible if the human moves past his/her lower self, his/her base instincts to just wantonly eat and consume.

"forbidden unto you are carrion and blood and swine flesh, and that which hath been dedicated unto any other than ALLAH, and the strangled and the dead through beating..." (v:3). the limits are code for people of understanding to follow a chain of order, what we understand today as the food chain.

sadly, humans need reminder of our place, or otherwise babylon, otherwise, flesh everyday, which requires a torturous system of factory farming that is devastating the life of the strangulated beings, toxifying the earth, waters, and skies. yet somehow, muslims, among others of rationalizing behavior, justify their consumption, so long as Allah's name is said, and the animal is sliced down the throat. babylon!!!!!!!!!!!

in ayurveda and yoga, the sages term this prophetic prescription as a sattvic vibration. the dimensions according to the yogis are: sattva, raja, and tamas. sattva is the plane of the Most High, of Harmonizing. rajas is the plane of the mundane, of giving into sensory experiences. tamas is the plane of pure lower self, of laziness, of over-consumption, of dominoes, all you can eat, black friday...

the sages of ayurveda tell us that the indriyas (our senses), are 11 in number - the five sense organs, the 5 perceived senses of those sense organs, i.e. ear - hearing... and the manas (the mind).

the mind is the intermediary between worlds - between the gross world of being and the spirit world of being. but if we operate solely from the place of senses, if we give in to and operate from our senses, in how we eat, how we drink, how we sleep, how we interact with others, than we default on dismembering our connection to Atman - Soul.

to help make the table spread that we walk upon visible, to provide guidance to walk and pick from it's fruits, ALLAH prescribes prayer, fasting and other rituals: "ALLAH hath appointed the kabbah...the sacred month and the offerings and the garlands. that is so you may know that ALLAH knows whatsoever is in the heavens and earth...is Knower of All things" (v:97). these rituals, this passage suggests, facilitates ALLAH consciousness, allows us to operate from this surrender and discriminate accordingly.

jesus, as an enlightened being, as one who was fully in the realm of sattva, of surrender (islam), was ordained in his alignment to pave the path for those around him. he provided the light through the darkness. jesus in his surrender, became truth, sent to spread the gospel of possibility, of Higher.

the disciples of jesus, the close companions, 12 in number, asked jesus to provide a dinner from the Divine: "jesus, son of mary, said: o ALLAH, Lord of us! send down for us a table spread with food from heaven, that it may be a feast for us, for the first of us and for the last of us, and a sign from Thee. give us sustenance for thou are art the best of Sustainers" (v:114). the Essence responds in the spread of the table-cloth, there is more than ample food, of great diversity.

jesus shows his companions the way, guides them through the table spread of this dimension - the earth.

jesus, like moses, like muhammad, exist solely as guides, to layout the tablecloth, to make the spread that the Essence has provided, visible. yet none are in themselves beyond the ordinary, nor are they the One, as only ALLAH is this - the sum total of All Life. "The duty of the messenger is only to convery" (v:99).

this has been the role of gurus of yore, of ancient masters, elders in the native american tradition - to provide Guidance. in fact, in many indigenous cultures, the rite of passage has been to go into the forest, to spend time there, and come out only after a period of time. the sages of ayurveda sent their disciples into the jungle to collect all the plants there that were of medicinal value. during one such day, all except one came back with something. when the sages asked him why he didn't have anything, he said that everything in the forest was medicine.

learn to live by the laws, surah v tells us, and the spread of opportunity is plentiful. the Essence provides, so enjoy, but avoid going beyond the law, as the earth is occupied by more than just humans. seek guidance from the book and the lives of prophets.  

surah iv: women

"these are the limits," ALLAH tells us, (4:13).

the surah on women may be the most discussed, most referred to in generalities, in conversation to discuss the shortcomings of islam, to debunk the message of prophecy, to contrast the freedoms of women in the west vs women of surrender (islam). yet, in reading this surah, it is clear to me that most people who engage in these diatribes, do so in a way that most middle east correspondents on cnn discuss issues there. somehow, their 2 weeks spent in a sheraton, well guarded hotel, has made them an expert on a people and a history. deep. real deep. somehow, we have grown into these expert correspondents without time spent to read, extrapolate, contextualize, decode.

surah iv lays forth a clear code of conduct. but what has become apparent to me in reading and rereading this surah, is that there is a secret code here, a code for believers. believers are not those who subscribe to the literal, nor those looking to rationalize their position of privilege in the world (which i often see/hear from people of religion, people who praise the One for their cars and houses and bank accounts - something got missed in communication here), but those who surrender (the arabic word of which is muslim). surrendering requires humility, requires reading beyond the lines, requires understanding code.

the limits are boundaries, code, what we understand in poetry as meter, in lyricism as bars, in english essays as structure - thesis, evidence and supports, in architecture as a blueprint, in the language of the web, it is html and java, in cooking, soapmaking, lotion making, medicine-making, the codes are illustrated in recipes.

caraka and sushtra, two of the sages of ayurveda who received the Word, laid out the ratios and codes of making medicinal tailas, arishtas, kashyas, rasyanas.

egyptologists tell us that the pyramids may not have been tombs, but vessels of vibration arranged to be aligned with a frequency. the khemets of burkina faso tell us that khemet, which modern man understands as ancient egypt, was not the demarcations placed by the british and zionists in divvying up the magrheb and middeleast. instead, it was this entire region. this makes sense if you look at the ancient egyptian book of the dead. the short hand, of medu (the language we understand as hieroglypics) looks almost identical to the arabic, written and spread by the people of medina, the language of the Qur'an.

there is code in surah iv. the code is more than prescriptions, but meter set to flow into whatever situation in whatever period of time you exist in. this code appears as who a man can marry and who a man cannot marry among the woman in a society; it appears as what a woman is entitled to in the case of a death of her husband, what she is exempt from, what her options are in the case of adultery, etc. but, it is much more.

the set of laws are code for positionality. for instance, if the job of a supervisor in a supermarket is to hire and fire, then regardless of whether that boss is a male or female, that boss holds these responsibilities. a code of conduct for managers may state procedures they should follow.

surah iv lays this out as a code of ethics. literally, the addressed are males, and literally it may be understood as patriarchal, as the Word is being conveyed to men. but if historical context, social context, etc are weighed, if the lines are extended beyond the confines of the words that encapsulate them, and if the Word is from a Divine Source, it inherently can't be purely literal because all changes, because the law of Life is change, than implicit is the code. decode the code. all praise is due, all praise is due....

surah iii: the family of imran

la illahe illala. this is the lesson of surah iii. there is no God, but God. all praise is due.

at 2 am, i was still up, scheming through web surfs on the house, the kids, the car - dreams i inherited from my mother who began having these aspiration when she began babysitting in 1979. 35 years later, not much has changed for us. her dream still remains a dream and i am a man-child who has become one of the last mohicans on this block, wondering if we will be evicted soon, if the landlords will find a way to slip an eviction note under our door as they did with my boy who has lived here for 3 decades, who has driven a cab for 15 years to maintain. 

anxiety drives people in droves into the apthecary i work in. they seek natural supplements for sleep, for anxiety, for for not being able to quiet their disappointments with life.

in surah iii, ALLAH reminds us that our anxieties flourish, promulgate, colonize our being when we live in fear, when through this fear we find unplausible explanations, proofs, beliefs. in modern man, this is the appearances of science, of dr. oz mentioning garcinia cambogia, a fruit rind in a supplement that will help you lose weight. our fear misplaces divinity in doctors and scientists who themselves may be misdirected, who may be so entrenched in their self-worth, that their ability to connect with the cable to the Mystery - to time and space, before and after, of ancient and future - is rendered fruitless. 

if our belief is in other than the Essence, other than the One, if it becomes about ascribing partners, not through reason, but through fear, than we become prone for punishment, for cancer, for disease. we become ripe for suffering. 

there are those amongst us who live this fearless path, some of them are penned upstate in 4x5 rooms, rooms smaller than your lower east side bathrooms. some of the warriors are dodging bombs as i write this, are leading prayers in the sundarbaon jungles besides the royal bengal tiger, who sits and watches in hunger and humility. he has an appetite to become us, a human, just to gain in this possibility of connection. all praise is due.

such are the prophets who have come before us, yogis who have lived in this alignment, in their fearless pursuit of higher and continued to pursue their truths and live by example to those who gathered around them, who cried in staring at the purity of truth in their eyes.

such was the family of imran, the descendants of adam, noah, abraham, the antecedents of mary, jesus. these were prophets whose truths were so undeniable that the anxiety-stricken people of babylon power sought to strike them down, sought to keep them at bay. but "Allah does not oppress his bondsmen". 

through the utmost humility, these messnegers of yore placed faith, prayer, and steps towards understanding, towards alignment. zachariah, through his righteous deeds, prayed for his barren wife to bare child. thus was born mary, who gave birth without laying with a man, who saw a child come forth from her womb with signs, with words, with a touch that could heal the blind, with a glow that brought three kings who in their deep meditation in the signs of the stars, were guided to bethlehem. 

they, these messengers, like muhammad, were powerful, wore their truth on their sleeves for others to see, to cower as one may do in the face of a blazing sun. but they were mortal, mere people. they, like yogis of the himalaya, tapped into a greater frequency, defied normal perceptions of anatomy and physiology with what they did with their bodies, by way of their minds, by way of their spirits. but all humans are capable of this enlightenment. “we believe in ALLAH and that which is revealed to abraham and isaac and jacob and the tribes, and that which was vouchsafed unto moses and jesus and the prophets from their lord. we make no distinction between any of them and unto Him we have surrendered.” (3:84) 

what ALLAH makes clear is that even though the wife of zachariah was barren, his prayers to ALLAH were heard and responded to, that although Mary would sit hungry, her prayers were heard and she was provided for and although she did not sleep with a man, Allah gave her seed, as the birth of Jesus, and although Jesus was born of no father, this should come as no surprise, such is the glory and capacity of Allah, that Allah is a sciecne and a Mystery. this is the contention with christianity and judaism – people of the book. that the people of the book, jews and christians should be clear in la illahe illala – there is no god but God, that if they believe in the infinite possibility of the Creator, then the miracles sent forth by moses and jesus and maryam should be of no surprise.  “people of the Scripture! why drive back believers from the way of ALLAH, seeking to make it crooked, when ye are witnesses.” (3:99). 

the message of the Quran is to reestablish truthfulness, to steer clear the distortions of religion that have been used to abuse power and exploit, after all, “it is not for any human unto whom Allah had given scripture and wisdom and the prophethood that he should afterwards have said unto mankind: be slaves of me instead of Allah." (3:79). 

so, la illaha, illala - there is not God but God. so submit with humility. 

this is the key to practice, to understanding revelation – submission, complete surrendering to the One. afterall, "unto ALLAH belongeth whatsoever is in the heavens and whatsoever is in the earth; and unto ALLAH, all things are returned.” (3:109). thus the christian saying: ashes to ashes, dust to dust. 

even the prophets are subject to dust, even they have to become the skull of alexander the great that hamlet grapples with in the grave yard, as he is torn by the concept of death, of the ceiling that is life. “Muhammad is but a messenger, messengers have passed away before him.” (3:144) 

if even alexander the great who conquered a sizeable portion of the globe, died, if ronald reagan who with margaret thatcher was able to lay out the massive war against humanity, has died, if martin luther, and martin luther king, gandhi and nelson mandela have died, then who is spared? who is more than this moment? what is it? what is permanent? nothing, ALLAH remind us. so, avoid making a statue, an idol of any human being, of placing them into a special category of being that deifies them and in the process creates a cult of personality. for what happens when these personalites die? “will it be that when he dies or is slain, you will turn back on your heels? (3:144)

herein comes the path of submission - islam - of utter humility through constant work. those who follow the faith of surrender, of giving up of their arrogance by way of modesty of humbling oneself, by way of praying accord to the laws in al baqara, will flourish and be clear in the prophecy of the yogis before them and in turn they will be capable of the actions of yogis, of miracles. but it is not for others to see. it is not to be shown off, as this will cause humans to misinterpret and pedastalize or persecute, as they are wont to do. thus the laws, thus the need to establish a sense of order, of decency. 

no war, no battle, however small or big, can harm the believer, the surrenderer (3:11), as the believer is tied to the cable of/with Allah (3:103). the battle of Badr, when the Muslims were terribly outnumbered is an example of this. what is impossible with this level of faith, with this level of fearlessness. cohelo said it through his fortune teller character in the alchemist, when your work towards your purpose, the universe will conspire to fulfill it. “Your lord will help you with five thousand angels sweeping on” (3:25).

to understand scripture, the path of surrender take heed from the yogis before you, let them serve as your guru, afterall didn’t their lives furnish truthfulness and fearlessness? (3:132).

those who die on this path of faith are immortal, have reached a nirvana  – “with their Lord they have provision” (3:169). but those who continue to place faith in the mundane, in fear  and anxiety of all things, they will suffer, they will be in a state of of punishment (3:180). belief, the path of the yogi, of the surrenderer, is pure, is aligned with the Harmony – ALLAHis no oppressor of his bondman”(3:182) hence prayer, hence “remember ALLAH standing, sitting and reclining” live life in this mediation, walk meditation.  

surah ii: al baqarah: laws to live by

divorces abound as much as unions. conversations that become bedroom talk, that lead to future plots coalescing, hands that find their way to a soft warm hideaway, autobiographies written together in the want, in the ache to be past the rigamarole of schedules.

they are fleeting, the brush of eyes and touch of lips. they last as long as daylight on a gotham 21 december. the nervous touch becomes stiff and rote, the anxious anticipation becomes a note on the table - dinner's ready, help yourself. the quiet is rough, crooked and yet functional, like nostrand ave. promises become plates crashing, walls caving in to a cell. movement becomes a pace in the prison wall that each other has formed into. 

the beginning and end. hence al baqarah, hence rememberance of Essence in daily prayers, hence the reminder of signs and guidelines for man to live by.

al baqarah lays out the prescriptions for man to live by - the month of fasting, the times of fasting - from the string of night becoming day to the thread that lays conclusion to another 24 hours in this manifestation. al baqarah teaches us how to treat those below us, to move past a below us, to recall death and live like a soldier who bangs for the cause without fear, without a sense of loss, as we were dead before and were brought into life, so we have only permanence to look forward.

al baqarah is practical, the notions advanced consider deeply the human condition. human greed abounds throughout the ages. perhaps nothing close to now. perhaps the term greed is incomparable for the frankensteins we have become, rationalizing all our actions through the lens of me, myself, myself. my my my, i'm feeling fine...

be compassionate, wage love, but if war comes your way, if your homeboy is slain, then slay. do not slay someone's mother or child for the work of a man. do not take someone's eye for a finger. be even in your actions. understand that actions have consequences. that just as fracking will dry our earth to a desert, so will striking someone who is helpless dry you out. more than the glib conclusion that this passage of baqarah condones an eye for an eye, what is clear to me is that it reminds the human that we are part of a larger system of laws, beyond the ones we have come up with to empower exploitation, injustice. that actions have an effect. baqarah teaches us the laws and the laws of cause and effect. your willingness to die, to annihilate the fear that stems from ego will give you permanence. your striving towards Higher can be accomplished by following rules, that more than a matter of what feels good, which is fallible, there are rules.

moses and the betrayal of his people serve as an example to reflect on past events to grow in our present. the story of the israelites and their adherence to gold, and in turn their spurning the message of divinity, illustrates the importance of history, of learning from history and taking lessons to prevent and steer clear of those same mistakes. this can be in the form of being a witness to alcoholism, drugs, violence. take these lessons from those around you who engage in this way, to avoid destruction, to gain in your Love of worship by killing the nafs, the ego that easily grow weakened by the seduction of chocolate and candy corn soup, the switch of hips, and lick of lips. 

focus, baqarah tells us, by recognizing that there are rules to living. these rules should be practiced with adherence, with faith, but more importantly, with humility, with a dissolution of ego. the punishment that is referred to, is to know that whether others can see your disguised actions or not, you will ultimately have to face your deeds, as the Essence "is Seer of what they do" (2:96). the condo, the dinners, late nights at the club, the suits, ties and phones will guarantee only a furthering from the path of soul, "such are those who buy the life of the world for the price of the hereafter" (2:86). 

the laws of divorce, of battle, of servants, of curbing greed, of sharing and not hoarding, of worship and prayer, of sexual relations, of idol worship and the pilgrimage, of men and women and community, are laid out into a series of prescriptions, which at face value offer laws to live by, and on a deeper plane, prepare the traveler to go on the hajj of ascension. 

letting go

silence speaks, drops bombs without a word or warning - falluja, jenin, philadelphia 1985 - demonstrates love more than hallmark cards, flowers, chocolates. no stats to prove this. no stanford research i can point to, although i could look it up, although i could do a quick google and find someone who said something similar and quote it to prove a point. no point to prove. just a wisdom. wisdom stems from roots, to grey leaves that burn like sage as they touch the sun from the sierra straits. wisdom is more than the sum total of my life in this manifestation, i learned from the tree i stood by yesterday, on the sliver of a park on 13th street and 8th ave. more than this lifetime.

i guess i'll see you next lifetime, when we are both a bit Closer, when we are perhaps more in Union with the One. for now our worlds make sense as much as fracking, as much as guns, greed and globalization. i said goodbye to you yesterday, even though we didn't see each other, even though we didn't speak. i knew, i knew when i walked in circles around the silence under the horns and 8 million conversations. i laid you to rest in the train, between stops, somewhere after times square and fifth ave, around 10:23pm. i left you with roses, the kind that western europeans colonized egypt for, built a suez canal, just to get to india, just to get to the land my grandfather was touching his head on, five times a day, where my father was born and still recalls like a love letter. i left the letter there too, the one i wrote to you out loud, and watched the astroprojection of it in the couple in front of me - the white woman and indian man - the screen who stole glances at me every so often, who shuffled in their seats, wondering if it was safe to move, if the crazy man who sang out loud in front of them was bound to detonate, was bound to become a palestenian destroyed by a desperation so deep... no words....i watched the train carry you away like a coffin in a limo.

i am still mourning. i will pray for you, as i let go a little bit more every minute, as i let time heal these wounds, as another funeral of the living happens weeks after a birth of a friendship, of a possibility. such is new york. such is life in chemical breaths.

between my friends who die of slow suicides and the ny minute relationships that leap off buildings every couple of weeks, i am becoming a funeral ground, haunted by spirits that speak in tongues that i try not to hear, that i try to plug away from. but i can't. instead i pace the subway platforms and hear voices in the trains, sometimes talking back, sometimes laughing out loud.

today i am letting go, saying prayers quietly, saying the 99 names, letting the rain camouflage my face, recalling the words of the wise, of the trees and prophets, that this is just a moment, that this too will pass, that to "walk through life like a stranger, a traveler and consider yourself among the inhabitants of the grave" (prophet muhammad, s.a.w).

all praise is due, i say until my heart bleeds, until i am laying beside myself holding my stomach like i was 12 again being jumped, like i was 15 and was watching another kid sprawled in front of me, being being kicked in a hundred times, like the only thing that could save me is to leave this body, to adorn the stars like the jewels on my ears, wear the fabric of time and space like a shawl.

all praise is due, all praise is due, all praise is due...

men and women

i've been hearing it in all their voices, my brothers, the men in my life and the women in theirs, in the lessons they have been taking, that they have learned.

bear learned it early. he told me years ago how he has no faith in women. he lives it. laid back, soft spoken, pushing through. he is never talking to just one chick. no one to break him. there is no point, he says, lifting his drooping pants, staring at the big-hipped chick staring at his box braids. women are just like men. i'm not sure. i don't know.

i think women and men are different, beyond biology, i think there's a such thing as masculinity and femininity. but in the babylonomic frequency of hyper-individualism, i don't know anymore. i don't know who's who, what's natural, and who to believe. but bear beats in my heart. bear speaks his truth, although i think it's worth being vulnerable, although i think love lost is growing, is better, but over and over again it could be crippling.

men are fragile beings. men like me, like smack, like bear, like hap, like kareem, eric, j. we seem to miss on the stats that says woman make .75 cents to every dollar men make, that men have more opportunities than women. they're true. those stats. but we don't see it. it's not our reality. so we dream and roll dice and sometimes we get lucky, get some copper to sell, to barter for jordans and a northface, to get a shape up and a date. just fresh enough to pass, to get acquainted for a few days with grown women with apartments and purses full of cash to eat out, purses that remain snapped when the check comes, when it's time to pay for drinks and dinner. but then they learn about your wallet, the lint it has accumulated, they see how you move, these women with purses and ideology, with conversation about the downtrodden and wine-tastings in the same sentence. they are beautiful, in their habits, in their desire to help and to live fully, to take classes on cheese-sculpting, kickboxing, cup crafting... they are beautiful as they are fulfilling themselves, they are growing and committed to their growth. they are beautiful and you see it. but, somehow they seem to see your beauty as fleeting as the classes they take, as the winter boots they wear.

real recognize real my abbu has taught me, my ammu tells me, my bhaiyas show me, my homeboys live by like a flag in their back pocket that other gangs can spot and identify, that can get us shot, left in the hudson. these women with purses and the men of their class are in a gang that is so well guarded, they are unaware of their crip dance, their blood frat/sorority. they only see color and complain that they are not able to grow in their classes and painting collections and wine acquisitions because of colorlines. they miss the lines they draw, the caste they reinforce. we see them though, my homies and i. my homies who would be among the crew of isa and mushammad and their realness, my struggling homies who return me over and over to that path that is Real, that keeps me on a jesus road ahead.

the little things

no one knows
you know
only You know

met with the little homie today. he was walking in circles. we circled around each other. walking like we were once warriors. the police noticed our dance, the upper east noticed too, with police eyes. little homie understood. i understood him coming out his grandmother's crib, running from place to place, from woman to woman, looking for home.

she was cool, he told me, his fro clouding the clear january skies. me and her would meet for lunch like 3 times a week, but, where was it going? he asked.

i sat there with him, at the spanish diner, the one on the corner of the concourse that provides seats a window and a waiter who could nod in english. a meal will cost you $6, and everyone there had just enough to have a date, with no white people there to discover the cheap-eat and blast it on time-out magazine. we were lucky to be in the deep hood, clear of the brown people who were whiter than the white people they loved to talk about, the ones who came to the neighborhood and jacked up the rent and loved to criticize white people and gentrification.

little homie got quiet, as he thought of her, as he told me the rest in his low eyes grazing the asphalt. she knew i was going no where, that i lived with my grandmother, and that i barely made enough to scrape, to get by, and barely that. she knew there was no future with me and she didn't need to tell me. i could tell from the way she would start finding excuses not to hang out. the way she looked at me extra long without saying anything when i would talk about trying to find a job and getting one soon and things changing for me. i knew when her face got long, when she stared at me with those dark eyes like i were talking to myself on the train with a cup in my hand. i knew she just wanted to give me change and leave when she paid the bill and said she had to run. 

i'm a man, you know? little homie said. can't get caught with these chicks cause they looking for a man who got it together. who got a steady thing going, you feel me, he said, turning to me with a face harder than the scuffs on his face, softer than his sad eyes.

i knew. i know. it's why we were together. we got the same roll of the dice.

i thought of the words of the prophet muhammad, the one that the imam shared the other night when another death almost left me in glue, left me walking in place: stay away from grandeur. focus on the little things like dhikr, like prayer, focus on the things that no one else will see except ALLAH, that will bring you Closer. All praise is due...

behind this

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day 28, 29: hindsight

the last two days of water, liquids - rasa.

i'm writing in hindsight. the fast of december has become a past. u can read about it, except i didn't really write much about the process, about the preparations and lack thereof. none of the back logs may serve the technical needs of someone interested in doing a fast. 3 decades into fasting, over 1 decade of spiritual/physical cleanses outside the realms of religious prescriptions, yet, i have little advice to offer. i can point you to people who know.

my brother's name translates to "one who knows". our last name is a variation on the Supreme, the One, ALLAH. my brother has worn his name before he ever entered his skin. he knows about fasting. ask him if you ever get a chance. he knows because his feet float in the sky, his head holds solar systems and pyramids in adjoining galaxies that egypt and tikal communicated with millenia ago. he knows because he is Quiet, no quotes in the how-to section of bnn. no books out. the trees are just too sacred. a branch cut might break his heart.

i go to my brother for advice on fasting, even though he hasn't fasted the way i have. i would go to him to learn how to snowboard on a cardboard box on the hills of washington heights. i would go to him about walking on fire-escapes to the sky. i wouldn't go to him about clocks. his language skills fall short there.

the last two days of the fast was a cesaria evora song that made sense. it made sense that it had to end, that i had to not just eat but work diligently for conclusion, to ensure detoxification happened in alignment with a plan, with a vision.

in hindsight i would make a map of the month, i would have my brother and the few others of the 144,000 of the world who reside here, in jungle city, and bang on a jesus path, over for supper. i would ask them for guidance. i did it alone. i reinforced the do you. i did me.

the only thing i would tell you, that i would advise, if you were interested in knowing, if you are considering any advice on doing a fast, is to be Quiet. spend some time in Quiet, a half, an hour, a day. do this for 30 days before you begin the fast. and when you begin, maintain your Silence. Real will recognize you. Real will see you from miles away, on the jersey side of things, on the pluto side of space. Real will pave your Path.