"o ye who believe! when ye meet an army, hold firm and think of ALLAH much, that ye may be successful (viii: 45).
belief, real belief, lends a strength that the shaolin monks attribute to the ability of their feet to smack the heads of foes in opposite directions, that yogi's credit in their legs coming behind their neck.
belief according to surah viii, results in a tangible outcome.
the scene of surah viii is the battlefield. the battlefield has been a common place of metaphor for vessels of truth, of poetry, of women and men over time who have contemplated the subject of spiritual war. "rise up fallen fighters," bob marley commands, in his song the heathen. "rise and take your stance again. he who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day."
the fight, we are told in surah viii, is the war of life, is the battle of the faithful, to go beyond their ego, to conquer their lower i's, to cut off the life supply to their arrogance, for, ""the worst of beasts in ALLAH's eyes are the ungrateful,who will not believe" viii: 55.
i almost missed my morning ritual again today. i looked at the clock and with no job to compell me in to their plantation, who i would easily hop in the shower and rush out for, i stayed in bed, peeking at time, weighing excuses to forgo asanas. 15 minutes in, 15 minutes into laying around like my manifestation as a human were infinite, after scheming on the threads i would rock at the party next week, the bronx kangol that shrey, randa, and allison grew weak in the knees for, i shook my head. the militia of shaitan was strong throughout my body and mind, but constancy, has prepared me for this moment. i entered the battlefield in samasthiti, standing straighter than a geometric line.
"love is a battlefield," pat benatar reminded us, back when fat shoelaces were worn like silk. "we are young, heartache to heartache we stand, no promises, no demands."
in the face of infinity, we are always young, and in the face of babylon and babylon relations, getting caught up can be constant, because we are perpetually in a newness, perpetually looking for someone to take us Higher. and when they do, the fear arises that it may not last, that something will go wrong, that he's checking out your homegirl or was m.i.a for the past couple days, or that she's always making excuses - why? what's good?
the tension of intimacy keeps you locked in place, makes you gasp for air, only to dive back in, only to go back into the bp spill of a relationship you are drowned in. but time.
months later, you are bored of saying sweet nothings. you have nothing new to add. you are as excited by her as a show that has been on the air for 11 seasons.
what's next? what's new? your homeboy asks when you see him. you grin, when you notice the cinnamon shorty at his dinner party, the one with the long curly hair and door knocker earrings. that's what's good, you think, after he introduces you both, after you sit right across from her, and conversations stretch from brooklyn to thai massage schools outside bangkok. numbers exchange, dialed.
later that week, movies, late night walk through the park, past shared like browning photos and whispers through the pillow. ecstasy, your bodies drugged by miguel - do you like drugs? do you like drugs? yeah, i do, i do, i do do do. and a week in, the bilal concert at s.o.b's is only a background for the newness you float through, a new new york for the 333rd time.
3 months later and you're wondering how you got in this, how you really can't stand her talk about thai massage....
no one can take you there, but You, but the fight to go beyond the ephemeral, to embrace every moment with the utmost Love, and go Higher. this happens through war, through the battlefield with the enemy of promise, the one who rings in your voice: "and when satan made their deeds seem fair to them and said: no one of mankind can conquer you this day, for i am your protector." (viii: 48)
the devil's words are enticing. the devil - laziness, ego, arrogance, fear, procrastination, perfectionism. the devil - you, your lower i. but as you know when - you ate that red forest cake, when you chomped down on all those pizzas, when you lied again, when you smoked another cigarette, ashed another blunt, downed another bottle - the devil lies. those lies are felt. "when the armies came in sight of one another, he took flight" (viii: 48). where is your strength when you have subscribed to the devil, when your laziness has led you weaker, thinner, fatter, under sheets, under employed, wasting at wine bars when homeless men stare with a cup of change, men who wear your eyes?
engage in battle, take heed of the guidance of those who lived in alignment, with the Guru's. the snicker on his face is the battle, if that's what gets you upset. the lack of acceptance from those you seek acceptance from is the battle if that's what hurts you. the rejection from jobs that never call you back, thank you for applying but, that keep you from a paycheck, is the battle, if that's what brings you down. the inability to commit, to trust, to close the gap between you and others, is the battle, if that's what keeps you from the Lift.
have faith. when you are aligned with the Oneness you know that there are no walls, no barriers. that this is only a moment, that you should give it the utmost honor by engaging in battle, by letting go, by being fearless, by working from Love, but know that it is just a moment and the outcome is unimportant, that the outcome will be right, will be aligned.
regardless of the gravity of the obstacles before you, have faith and engage in the war against the lower i's. engage with a fearless diligent Love.
"o prophet! exhort the believers to fight. if there be of you twenty stedfast they shall overcome two hundred, and if there be of you a hundred stedfast they shall overcome a thousand of those who disbelieve" (viii: 66)
all praise is due...
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