partition, the invisble line, separates me from you in this cafe, even as we sit next to each other and stare intently on our screen. partition.
you are staring at me through a partition. and i am wondering about you.
the walls separate our today from our tomorrow. tomorrow becomes a fantastic place that we will get to one day, just not today...tomorrow is the treasure pot at the end of the rainbow, is heaven, is neverland. a dream deferred, langston hughes lamented. what happens to a dream deferred?
thing is, the window to there is here. right now. every action leads to that.
what is it that you want to accomplish the most? what is your life's purpose?
for the past several years, i have been saying that my purpose is to be a medicine man, by way of the path of yoga and ayurveda. i chose this angle due to my genealogical proximity. i figured my dna would have memory of yogi movement, vedic knowledge.
as i began studying islam more, the path of yogi and ayurveda, folded into the holistic system of non-duality, that the prophet/guru-muhammad laid out. my writings focused a bit more on quranic teachings and the words of the example of these teachings manifest in the guru.
in recent times, when i've fully meditated on the path of medicine man, i've come to understand that this is only a road to a deeper path. that medicine man is not an end to my Purpose, but itself another road to the One.
i've also come to understand that medicine is more than herbs, and herbalism, yogi, and yoga asanas, meditation and nutriton and being physically active, and sleeping and waking early.
i've learned that medicine is prayer, and hence my delving into scripture. vaidyas/hakeems, like my grandfather and greatgrandfather, are versed in scripture, in the laws of the One.
i've learned that medicine is activism, is being of service to the world we inhabit, more than just to any one group of people, or one issue, or one type of being (more than humans - peace to plant life, water life, land life, air life). medicine is taking in the whole and working for the balance of the whole. as the son of the medicine man, my dad, showed me through his life example. he has been serving community, rocksteady, for 60 plus years, and continues to do so, understanding the consequences this has had on our family economically, and socially. poverty never came to my tongue until i was shown statistics on income brackets and jeered by peer on the discount-store clothes i walked around in shamefully.
i've learned that medicine is showing up for those who have shown up for me. blessed with the struggle of holding onto the tightrope of scraping by. the closest in my life repeatedly remind me of this - my ammu, abbu, brother (one-who-Knows), cuzin smack, cuzin pin, cuzin chris, cuzin d, cuzin mo, cuzin chino, cuzin shah...
i've also learned, from the teachings, that medicine is going beyond tribe and communalism, to get deeper with those who bow down, whose humilty is deeper than leather and kicks, whose spiritual linguistics speaks intrinscially to a language without time.
last month, my letting go was of addiction. i've grown fond of coffee and vegan/gluten-free fig bars, and binging on chocolate and food, and addicted to feeling self-pity at my invisible-man status, and lack of accomplishment, and sense of failing those closest to me.
as i write this, i just went through a bar of dark chocoate and my second cup of coffee. with that said, i've also grown back into a meditation practice, in listening to the words of goenka-ji, a messenger in his own right, who reminds me of samskaras and anichya, and the importance of getting away from the maya of what appears solid, and real through the surgery of meditation.
this past month has been trying, due to the happenings in the world. the sadness of the murdered french, and syrian and lebanese and yemeni and afghani and palestinian and nigerian people weigh heavy.
praying for peace. praying for the cessation of the 10 country bombing of a region under the pretense of killing bad guys, and in the process killing everyone there, as has been the tactic and rationalization for the millions killed in iraq, afghanistan, native america. peace to the survivors of the indigenous holocaust on this soil...i overstand that the tactics of patining the victims as savages engaged inn savagery was as successful in 1492 as it is now. blame the victim. bomb them out of existence. take their land and resources. pathologize them through news, radio, visuals...romanticize them when they are long dead, close to decimated...no longer can the colonial armies cracking whips and the slave master be painted as belonging to one race. the ideology of greed, supremacy, manifest destiny is mulitculutral and open to anyone who wants to get ahead...
prayers, prayers, prayers. prayers for compassion.
this month, my letting go of the wall that keeps me from purpose. this month i disintegrate that which is not real by being that which is Real. what is not real is tomorrow. what is real is now. what is not real is if this then that. what is real is the process of actualization through actualization. actualization of what is Real happens through the compass of the heart.
the community house, the family, the book, the project, seven generations, the gifts, ALLAH manifest, is now...
let go of the emotion and work from a deeper place of truth, of satyagraha, of honest interaction, through honest dialogue devoid of emotion, of sadness or pleasure, just pure LOVE. all praise is due...
intend to do this through continuing, growing deeper in meditation, in noticing samskaras and releasing them, of publsihing the health manual that will help me and you come to a deeper balance, through building institutions of LOVE in family, and universal community...what happens when the walls between me and my actualized self are dissolved? what does the i look like? what physically maniests from the thought sprung from the place of timeless poetics?....all praise is due...
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