full moon sept 2016

quick. it happened quick. like a hashtag. like a snap chat. the full moon rose, cast its spell, left me in a harvest of questions on purpose vs employment vs entrepreneurship vs past vs future vs everyone else...

i've been creating dualities, ending up with equations that manifest in the clock that stares me down like a warden, reading 9:11 when i look. am and pm.

i'm unclear on which if any of the symbolism of 911 this is pointing to - chile sept 11 1971 when u.s. fighter jets rammed into and bombed the presidential palace of salvador allende, the democratically elected president, assasinated in this coup and replaced with the brutal despot, pinochet. or is it the sept 11 2001, when  2 planes crashed into the twin towers and killed close to 3000 people. or is it the cops. the number you may dial in the case of an emergency.

whatever the case, 9+1+1 = 11 = 1+1=2.

two is the number of duality. what is referred to as illusion in islamic and vedic texts, espoused by vednatists and sufis. the maya.

been in the maya. caught between the maya and that which is real.

real is always, infinite. the number 8, reached only after getting to 9, the ledge. ready to jump? makes no sense if you think in western linear thought. unless you're a mathematician. if you are then you know algebra, the formulary code of alchemists. all things al- are originate from the arab world, which through the path of surrender was in spirit-intellectual dialogue with western eastern central southern africa, central asia and india, and east asia. this conversation led to a confluence of ideas subservient to the science of spirituality.

what am i subservient to? last month, the full moon signified truth, being honest. i feel better in this regard, growing deeper here.

this month, i would like to grow deeper in being a disciple of ayurveda. of seeing and working from here. this month, i'd like to zero in on my angle, my focus, grow deeper with just this path of traditional medicine - by moving away from perfection, from trying to know everything and being crippled by research, and instead keeping it simple, experiencing and speaking from experience.

is this what i want?

gurrukal tells me the only way to move forward is to know what you want. you have to know what you'd like to accomplish and then manifest it, seek it out. it will happen. but focus.

what do i want? a family, real community, a loving wife and kids, building compassion through structures and values, through sustainable communities that have a deep loving relationship with the earth, all its diversity of species, and plant life, and ideas, and peoples.

i want the wars the violence to end, the racism to end, the classism to end, the greed and exploitation to cease, the apathy and that's them to transform to that could be me.

where does the traditional medicine come in here?

being a healer. drawing people closer to compassion for themselves, for their body, and by way of this, their food, and by way of this, the earth, and by way of this plant life, other species, and other humans. respect Royalty.

the traditional medicine for me is supporting people in getting closer to the traditional way, the ancient ways, the way of sacred, and compassion and community.

i want to stay away from teaching and commodifying ancient knowledge like yoga and ayurveda. instead i want to make sure i share it in a way that draws people deeper into compassion. at the root of yoga is compassion is spirituality. at the root of ayurveda is spirituality.

this is how i want to practice, teaching and growing and sharing spirituality.

no schools will give me the license to do this. no jobs hire me to do this. but it must be done. we are missing compassion for each other, for ourselves..."and many of us, by the way we act, we even lost our minds", malik el shabazz said.

what it sounds like i want is to build on the spiritual roots of the medicines i carry and get deeper on this and focus from here as i do the work. the work is massage and bodywork, herbalism, and food. all of it is yoga and ayurveda. yoga is at the center of all that i do. the essence of yoga is ALLAHoo. the evidence is in the breath. breathe deep. dive. make it so. grow deeper.

so this full moon. i get deeper with the medicine in the way jesus would. i put myself out there. avoid over-information and stick to the basics - the Essence -the ancient mathematics of the medicine.

in a few words, this month i am a disciple of vata, pita, kapha in all things, by way of practicing medicine in this way; i am a disciple of yoga in all things, by writing, moving, speaking, connecting from a place of yoga - breath, focus, movement, flexibility, strength.

this month i manifest this by setting up the circumstances that require me to be in self-effacement. al-hallaj, escaping the prison wall and doing and making it happen...

sacrifice everything

because...

no beginning no end...

energy is that which cannot be created nor destroyed...

ALLAH does not beget, nor was ALLAH begotten...

we emerge from ALLAH, and to ALLAH we return...

these are truths, observable...spend time with a fruit, a vegetable, a tree, see the leaves, the fruits, see what happens, see their cycle, they are born, grow ripe, grow soft, grow dark, dry, fall on earth, become earth...

see...

...but you're seeing drake and kendrick and are star struck and running to the mall to soho to the shopping strip and grabbing the latest, before it gets too popular, and 2 weeks later it will get too popular, and you will discard it, and on to the next...

...you see what has been designed like a mouse trap with the most enticing bait human history has ever known - fame/money/power - ego - the greatest battle of the 21st century.

...you see...you can see...but look past the king's clothes, he has none, he is no king, a false idol, and yet you bow...what does that say about you? who are you worshipping? and what are those who you worship worshipping?

...sacrifice, because there is no beginning no end, so you have nothing to lose because once you come into consciousness from the tv your head is crashed in, you will Awaken into Self...

blessings Self...

...sacrifice...

today i realized the importance of sacrifice in deepening path, in growing in journey back to Essence, the One-ness - ALLAH...

...what i realized is this: the journey back happens through complete surrender, as commemorated by eid-ul-adha, the holy day that commemorates the life of one of the greatest surrender-ers in human history - ibrahim.

after 90 years, without a son, ibrahim, through devout prayer, was granted a son. when the son had grown to be a boy, ibrahim received word that he was to sacrifice his son. ibrahim, through anguish, took his son to a mountain, and upon raising his sword, was given word by djibril that he needn't slay his son, but instead sacrifice a lamb.

what is significant about this story for me is ibrahim's complete surrender. for anyone who takes this story to be extreme and emblematic of how deranged the path of Surrendering to the Source of Peace (=Islam) is, this is directly from the old testament.

in the face of complete surrender, sacrifice happens, becomes possible. but i half-step, do the safe 2-step dance, weigh my options, my sense of reality. i know this person on the train is hungry and limping by me with a hat out for change, but i'm not in the best financial situation, but soon as a i am...

what becomes possible in complete surrender? purpose becomes possible, as security is sacrificed.

i sacrifice a job that offers healthcare and a set weekly paycheck, to fulfill purpose. i realized that today, during the interview, when the interviewer told me how, sure, the job wasn't great, and how there were much greater opportunities out there, but unlike those positions, this one was not precarious, this one offered security. yeah, i said, nodding, coming to realization of the imam's sermon on the story of ibrahim earlier in the day...ibrahim could've hidden, could've dis-avowed his belief, but he remained steadfast in the science...

i am not one to believe blindly. i am drawn to ayurveda, yoga, and islam because of the science, because they are based on empirical and hidden science, known partially through algebra and geometry, physics and chemistry, but mostly through Quiet Surrender, through the Music.

this is brief royalty. this being the capsule you've come to identify as you - the human uniform. the human experience is a short trip - queens to brooklyn - people come in and out along the way - good conversations, and memorable conflicts - and ultimately, you have to get off as well.

create what you have been sent here to Create.

build builder. it's essential that you do. do it Quietly. do it as part of worship, devotion, in Surrender. the pictures you snap grow brown and crinkly. your hair grows grey and face folds.

choose the Journey, by being fearless in your Surrender. bow down to your cause, because it is all of our cause. pursue your Purpose with devotion, love, humility, community.

you are not a lone, nor a lone gun-man, we are in it together, a team, hence prayer in community is more powerful than alone. get away from the fantasies of hollywood/bollywood hero/heroine of being the poster that others worship. your Purpose is at once individual and community.

not about you but You.

in surrender, sacrifice, real sacrifice, becomes possible, is no longer grand.

do it now.