medicine man

been looking up gigs, gigs to sustain me, that already hold a structure, that will allow me to practice medicine, traiditonal medicine, but it doesn't exist, and i keep doing both - looking, and then saying, comeing to the conclusion that it doesn't exist, and i have to create it...

here it is:

ayurvedic traditional medicine man:

under the mentorship of gurrukal, do constitutional readings, use classic based formats, determine prakriti and vikriti, do other assesments including rogi/a pareeksha, astastana pareeksha and darshana pareeksha; discern samprapti vighatana - the diagnosis - curable - easily or difficult - incurable - palliative; shamana or shodhana chikitsha (weak or strong body; time/little time to dedicate); draw up the sahdya sadhyatsa - prognosis - treatments - plan of action - plug clients into programs - perform treatments - draw up the logistics all this requires - handouts for intake, for basic info on dosha system, a sheet for plan of action - costs; a system of taking money - cash/credit ; ensure legality of all of it, with documents to verify legality for each step ; have a separate bank account for this ; book-keep to ensure proper math ; liability - ensure protection through all copy-rights and incorporation...initially set up as cash-only donation system to prevent legal issues...write articles - both intro and nuanced, give talks on ancient medicine - ayurveda - its application, specifically in regards to common health issues related to mind-gut-neuro-muscular-pain-relation

determine medicines - herbs - single or in combination - using dravyaguna - that will help, determine form - capsules, teas, oils, tinctures, pastes, etc. prepare medicines according to sun/moon cycle; determine dosage, how often, for how long, how many times a day, till when, before/after/during meal...lead herb walks/talks; do classes on medicine making for heightened spiritual connection, self-sustainability...facilitate people/my own connection to the earth in the process...

design nutritional therapies - sadhya-sadhyatsa of food - based on prakriti/vikriti, samprapti vighatana  - to address ailments with changes in diet - design meal plan, recipes, handouts that explain the benefits of certain foods and food groups as well as how these correspond with ayurvedic nutrion - rasas, vipaka, etc. - design and write food rx - foods, how much, how often, recipes; plug clients into therapeutic diets courses/workshops

design yoga sequences based on therapeutic needs - whole class or individual; lead classes aligned with true essence of yoga, by focusing on pancha-maha-koshas, breath, jnana yoga, karma yoga, kirtan, dhyna; promote real yoga in conferences to plug people in to spirit-based activism/humility - yoga to counter narcissism, vulture-capitalism, material/race/nationalistic-obsession

design/prepare/execute bodywork treatments based on sadhya-sadhyatsa - therapeutic need of patient and not just relaxation and patient-desire for a specific style of massage; conduct a range of bodywork treatments aligned with ayurvedic understanding - including vasti's, shirodhara. shiro/muke-abhyanga, uddartanam, deep tissue, trigger point, marma, shiatsu, range of motion, kam...

transform the inner trump

traditional medicine man...that was the purpose that led me to share these words with the world of tangled webs until those webs i deceitfully hung in like strange mangoes and coconots in plantations in bangladesh and kerala (shout out to tamil nadu and mysore) left strings of tarantula-men and women disintegrated...

...me included...

tranatula in me...inner trump...

left the web i spun...

easy to point at trump...

the liberals are up in a roar, their liberal sensibilities touched and a critical mass upset,

so it's safe to protest, safe to march, safe to speak out...

yet they were silent when obama said no offshore drilling so eloquently and gave bp the contract to drill in the gulf of mexico, exposed only because of the unprecedented oil spill that would leave tens of thousands of dolphins, whales, sea gulls, across the shores of southern america, central america, south america...

the liberals stayed quiet and even shrugged their shoulders or approved of every veto obama clinton okayed when every other u.n. member votedf for resolutions to stop israel's maiming and holocausting palestinians;

didn't here liberals roaring about the massive bailout of wallstreet obama approved, no holler about the clinton neoliberalization of borders to allow corporations to exploit labor in mexico - nafta - the wall that clinton, bush, obama has been building along the border with mexico, the assault, plunder, mass homicides on iraq n afghanistan that made a lot of the current turmoil possible...

of course until his last days of presidency, when it was safe for obama to have safe acts...he advanced poltiricks as usual...spineless politiricians is an inaccurate term for this lot...they hold deep principles, play an active role in advancing war, mayhem, and destruction...so prayers for them...prayers for all of us...and most importantly peace...peace before you go yelling about trump, check your inner trump, i'll be sure to do the same, and then move from a place of peace...)))

1.25.17

one thing, one thing is that i want to touch the stars the way i would when my brother laid on top, pushing in, telling me he loved me, after my parents left, after they went on a road trip across americas until they reached the andes and sat with the mapuches watching stars that held their fortunes and stories before time...somehow they didn't see the story that was unfolding upstairs in our house, in the house that you are sitting in now and staring at me like i was winged, with a celestial light hanging over me, and so how could i not cry...

i watched her, watched the coast, watch the cards that sit before me on this table on a beach in astoria home for decades and not home, not a place i hold roots in...a place that reminds me that i am growing broker and broker cause brokers sold the building, the houses, the restaurants, the mamas and the papas, and most definitely the ammus and abbus...

watch the cards left by the hands of leprachauns dressed in indian shawls and chanting rumi poems with hands in chin-mudra...all mixed up...somehow...somehow...

all mixed up...so mixed up i walk between the chants, and slogans, between the lies told by media men and women who paint pictures over what they've done, over the homicides they've committed and then placed the blame on the natives...no clothes king...i see you...peace...prayers...

of course the natives are not just brown and black and red, and the takers, those stealing land, looting, raping, massacring are multi-racial, are trump-white, and kanye-black, and singh-brown, and cortez-latin, and sadat-olive...

i see you...nod your way regardless of your hate, of what you do...of the 100, 1000, 10,000 you kill on a daily...reported on the news like fish caught, like roaches exterminated...peace to the dead, to the suffering, to the laid out to die, and to those who take take take...

...perhaps it was written...

...peace...strum peace between breaths that begin in udjaai, that at once coalesce me with ocean and the bags of weed sold in handshakes on the corners, in the parks, between dips on the bar...light up...this time by myself... this time to drown, to get a ticket to ride...instead i grow into a midnight dreary weak and weary...and float in lyrics like mantras of skinny love...

...OM......inshALLAH...

float on with my arms wide, my smile flickering behind me, lighting the night, laughing crazy like shooting stars colliding into thin air, bursting into a million fireworks...

all praise is due...

dissolving the emotional subjective in Eternal Purpose

all praise is due for the unwelcoming, uninviting stares, the ones that disapproved of me coming on board, of me leaving this post, of feeling betrayed...or who knows...speculations...i speculate...

...looks may mean a lot of things, and evaluating them may mean everything you you you have come to understand of the world from your folks and those around you and their teachings and your interpretations of those teachings and the cultural norms and stories and economics and rituals of your societal inhabitation - you carry these lenses into your readings, writings, your interactions...

we are reading the same book but, yet, have such a different experience, understanding...we read the same words and it conjures different meanings...why?...

...with this context, then there is a lapse in meaning, there is no such thing as objective, there is what is happening, and your understanding of what is happening based on everything you have ever experienced...

...so a humble, quiet stare may mean a threat, nosiness, post-race, race-less, racialized, a judgement - to you - when it is just a humble quiet stare...

...we have been shaped by politricks and illusions, with maya in every part of our epigenetics...

but there is a way...

to break out - shhhhhhh -

get to that place of Quiet....shhhh....listen...watch...breathe into One - into equanimity...

...so, this is not a shout out to rejection...does not go out to all those who ever told me i would amount to nothing, nor all those who left me out of discussions on race, on human, on existence, out of parties and gatherings and meetings and jobs and homes and loans and opportunities...

...this goes out to the One, to prophets, yogis, and revolutionaries...to poets and medicine-men/women who moved in Quiet

i was at my graveyard last weekend, upstate, at the 19th century funeral grounds in the town of haverstraw, upstate... mourned my death, said goodbye...and moved on...a traveler...

move through life like a traveler with your graveyard besides you - the prophet muhammad reminds humanity...

...warren passed, polly passed, cookie fufu gone, firuz gone, eric gone, day dady gone, conrad gone...

...everyone goes...mourning happens...and humans in this realm move on...in ancient cultures we prepare for death...dying is as important, if not more so, than this manifestation of being...we are here for a reason...a purpose...avoid the noises and the shine...

...so Purpose...everything else is illusion...don't get it twisted...focus...try...fall...keep trying...with Love...unconditional...leave a mark as illuminating as the stars, as Quiet as the moon...

full moon jan 2017

the full moon layered in clouds of spring heat in mid-january...

howl...

the past month was clutter watching, was clutter plotting, was shelving it for later, when i could get it just right, when everything would be perfect, when i could get someone i knew to come through and motivate me to do it, to make the move to move things...feeling daunted by the task of going through it all, of having to explain, of where to place things...of things i could sell to raise money for the clinic...of placing it on display at the yoga-studio slash clinic...

the fantasies keep from doing it...how about a store on ebay? possibly...but in the meantime? there are things i could dispose, immediately...hold a bonfire...burn like wood...

boxes, pills, books, electronics...let go...what would motivate? putting a date, a time, a circumstance...

this month...i revisit getting messy, to let go of perfectionism...i embrace leaping into a handstand without a wall, to get dirty, to learn to fall, to be okay with falling, putting teas together and trying them out, putting ads to serve people with this medicine, getting a spot...trying...moving forward with the larger year intention of one thing at a time....of last months intention of decluttering to make space...trying and being okay with the fall...

what does it mean to let go of perfectionism? it means that it's okay for me to let go of stuff, to let go of old journals and clothes and make gifts and put an online store and see what happens...it may mean that i do it in person vs online, it may mean i do it all online...it means i get messy, i try...

the meeting grounds bt nihilism and spirit

check it out now....

snow drifting ladies in pantyhose cut and sliced from knife blades that slashed throats, prior to rape, prior to the strip club hopping and accumulating twenty drinks, diesled with invincibichality, god-complex - ready for death - to be known - as biggie reminded his legions - your nobody till somebody kills you.

the feathers fell off her goose, leaves like autumn, legs split like a quagmire. the guys laughed, head cocked like triggers and pulled in explosion like the nee democratized u.s.a-iraq - holy men converted to american gangsters and now part of the democracy..."my country gotta thing for this gangsta shit" 50-cent reminded us...hard looks and tims, replacing sandals and bedouin outfits, which once paired with laughing with the sun and moon and constellations...i see you

...it was a set up...the same one i thought made a nice alarming statement, deliberately controversial and spook, without any white, or asian, or black, or latin or indian or east indian authority figure with authority voice to back it up, to say it's so. the set up has led to this - internal war. the kali-ma of prac has caused war in themselves and the rest of us. thus confusion - many-faces - mani-faces, chameleon, a thousand of them...liquored up in the evening like wolves howling waiting for a wrong stare. pow bow. down. cops, run...adventure. who knows whats next. never know with big step, young hap, forever wil downed by the drugs and selling, just to get a rep...

...ah yes the reputation...an allure - adventure - the close to death - the confusion between a deeply spiritual experience and a deeply nihilistic one...

...on the daily...dice life, two sixes, bob heads, no longer held down by chains of capital, the god of small things, this is big man ting, so i roll big, hit the walls with a crash, break right through, emerge without a stain on my shirt, float, modest and high head staring at the sky, like yeah bruh,  i got you...

this is what i remember, before the cuffs, the police braceletes, the soar of icarus, remember that i almost made it, that i saw the rfit in the sky, and flew right through, this is the spirit i ran with...i got this, no fear, 100 fights, lost the first 88...got the last 12, became 144....144000, twelve tribes running through meridians with secret points of congregation known only to those who Know...

1.2.17 making the vision a reality

by way of daily chipping away...chipping that in itself is the goal, that grows me like succulent plants on cracked ceramics on the windowsills of people in nyc's inner-city elite...

today...i get a little closer to the full moon intention of letting go of clutter by creating space. space is created by reducing...i let go...give away...have a for sale site to launch that which i wish to manifest by way of focusing on a single thing at a time...

...today, i let go of clutter and focus, by understanding the Infinite is Infinite...no beginning no end...all praise is due...so give...by holding you are acting against life itself because the tree you are holding on to has already changed dramatically in the last ten seconds...everything does...even the money you pinch will change value...will become something different...from stones to metals, to gold to paper backed by a gold standard to just paper to barter-economies...it's always changing...no use in hiding, no use in laying under the covers...go out and play, engage, flirt...be a Lover...the Lover gives freely, listens, is fearless...travels with the grave besides him...

goals stay goals without actions, without daily actions...

goal to do a handstand will remain a fantasy unless i build up these shoulders, unless i focus my center, unless i let go of fear, unless i try, daily, a little bit, unless i learn from those who know...unless i practice that which i've learned from those who know...

apply this to anything...apply...

an example of a goal - poetic-healing - into a habit - self-practice

-------------------------

poetic device of alliteration - repetition of a consonant - s - sold many coalesced cadences to salvage a coarse reality of scraping the asphalt for dollars for bills for sad lovers whose alcoholism hovers like ghosts that fizzle out of lisps in conversations in ny decembers.

alliteration - consonants are every sound that is not a e i o u...not a vowel...

alliteration of the letter n - nancy reagan an un-notable first lady dined with ronald on wine and knotted campaigns on a drug war against the disenfranchised.

literally and more technically, alliteration are a repetition of consonants that are the first sound of several words in a sentence, but not neccessarily successively. victor violated various spiritualists with vagrant volatile intellectualisms based on voltaire.

alliteration can be a nice way to play with words if done technically, to master language by expanding in knowledge of words belonging to a letter. but as a poetic device, i find alliteration as a repetition of a sound and not the first letter of each word, an important way capture mood a feeling, an undescribable sensation. it lends to words utterances, music, a rhythm - tss, tss, tss, pa-tuh pa-tuh tuh, ha,  huh, huff... nusrat fateh ali khan does this a lot- he skats - his skats utter that which has no form - a feel for the One - a Love that is so deep, so High...

duh sounds capture an end, a sense of being closed in a doom and gloom..

guh sounds feel like a stuck in the throat, being choked up, wanting to cry but not wanting to be seen so suppressing...

it may be useful to go through different sounds....

so...technically, i find consonance more effective than alliteration. consonance is the repetition of a consonant sound within the word itself.

-----------------------------

declutter - decisive and focused ii 2017

one thing that is missing that i find missing that humans are suffering from that humans in the new world in the modern world, humans like me, due to migration, due to becoming economic refugees, due to seeing glimmer and shimmer...is community, meaningful community...everyone is a commodity, everything is private, every part of you at once dismembered and together...parts, parts of a whole...the whole is left...f the whole is the modern mans attitude...

this is missing and this is causing hurt and isolation and frequent trips to the bar and to the pusherman and the crystal meth for those who live in houses and weed for people in buildings cause it's something that can go around in community in ceremony...

what are things we can do together that last more than a night, more than a few dates, more than this moment?

one thing about religion, my friend herme recently told me, is that it draws people together, it keeps them in community, so even though you and i share all these views on life, even though we have so much of the venn diagram on the side of similarity - grew up in same city, both male, both colored, both critical of the apparatus, both educators - we also only saw each other after years of not, due to random circumstance. 


in the absence of random, in the absence of institutions that meld, we seek solace at bars, cafes, cheers, where people will know our name so long as they are still employed by the owner, so long as there is business, so long as we don't get pushed out from soaring rent, so long as we have enough to pay for another drink, so long as we stick to being intoxicated and caffeinated...

building meaningful community means all of us, means humility, means more than a bubble, means living in alignment with the One, means a community in worship...

...the prophet tells us to live life like a traveler with your grave right besides you...

understanding the grave, seeing myself in it, even as i sit in this cafe, after kicking it with the barrista i've known for a couple years, i know that my work is now, that it is in the interactions, it is in the experience, it is in how i can be of service...

one thing? poetry cafe with herbs...

winter solstice 2016 intentions for 2017

long night short day...longer spells of scheme between the unassuming north pole and the perpetually-scheming collective ego of a narcissistic species - human beings...

...if it were up to us humans, we would tell the earth to drift, to take off from this orbit, to "be free", to be independent, to not be cast by the authoritarian requirements of this solar system...we would say that you are your own person earth, you no longer have to be bound by these communist principles that the solar system subjects you to...why be shrouded by these primitive cave-dwelling ideas that keep you oppressed...

...of course those who Know would say otherwise, even as they sit in jail for Knowledge, even as they are being water-boarded and forced fed, even as they are being decimated and yet spoken of as a threat by the murderers (blood is on your shoulder - kill i today, you cannot kill I tomorrow -buju banton) who control what we see, hear - think...unless...if only you would think, the Recitation (Qur'an) reveals...

...the threat is real...the indigenous way...the way of community - tribes, gatherings of people who bow down in worship like the sun moon and planets, are a threat to the uber-individualism of a f-the- world vulture-capitalist world, where everyone rationalizes how they are contributing to the common good by commodifying anything and everything...i got that good air kid, just $30 for 5 minutes will get you a days worth of oxygen...

...i pass, but not like magic or dr. j or pipen...

...i learned this week that Source is infinite. in practice. meaning that more than a slogan, ALLAH is infinite.

this means that what you/i have to give is without limit, there is no emptying of this reserve, when you are dealing with Truth.

Truth after-all has no bounds...thus drain the oil reserves, water supplies, pine trees...the earth will survive...but we, the pathogens, the destructive microbes will self-destruct...

...sim taught me this when he told me i need to be more public, less hidden in my yoga, herbs, writings...share...he was always giving...he had no qualms asking for an exchange, for money, not in a way that was sleazy, but in a way that honored you, that made you realize you were worth putting money into and there were clear lines to maintain in supporting this...hmmm...he is a mentor...someone i'd like to learn more from in this path...

...i feared sharing...i feared giving up that which was sacred for what would happen to it, as if somehow i was the owner of it, as if somehow i controlled it...

...so let go of trying to control that which you do not own...let go...surrender to your gifts and give with Love and what will be taken and obscured and commodified and repackaged will not be Truth, not be gandhi or malcolm or al hajj or jesus or muhammad...their truths remain

...even when che was made a t-shirt and iron-on and hat...his truth continued to inspire movement for change...kill i today you cannot kill I tomorrow...

...there is selling out...that's real. but i don't have to sell out...exchanging in the market place doesn't mean selling out...and there is no end...only new beginnings...

...winter solstice 2016...jesus, the symbol of the sun...the sun of God, lays low on the southern crux, dead...the lull remains for 3 days, like a full moon that is the14th 15th and 16th of every month...resurrection on the 3rd day...longer days...

...2016 passes like a cloud in portland, unseen and hidden in rain...

this winter solstice, as lifetimes sink, as i shed this coat to grow into my new soof shawl, i am a poet of medicine, healing the pained, getting focused, getting Closer...

...my goal is/my Purpose is to be in worship...

that's what i realized...medicine man is a path, a vehicle, but Purpose is worship, is Surrender, is to share this, to be infectious in this...

goal this year? goals this year - to carve the path that i set forth on as an institution that generates land, house, village, school...

by practicing programs that are replicable, that offer the solution that the modern world suffers from narcissism, individualism, lack of community, of meaningful community, more than social media, more than meetups, real relations...people respond to money, to putting in, to having an anchor that will commit them...institutions facilitate social relations, community...the longer the institutional requirements, the deeper the opportunity for relationship.

intentions to manifest this year: the wellness gift - curating nutrition - bi-monthly...the poetry workshop - once a week for five weeks....panchakarma - 4 days a week 8am-7pm...herb walks and medicine making...wife n kids...home with fam on top of fam...village...growing in yogum...

so...home owner...marriage...kids...cooperative living....excelling entrepreneur launches that solve the issue of pain that stems from the mind to the body from the body of earth and society to the physical body of self - by fostering touch between us - between me as your medicine man and you, between us by building poetry tribe, herbal tribe, yogi tribe, wellness gift...doing these as part of growing that which i love - depth in yogum, in asana, in pranayama, in dhyna...

what are three things i can do towards fulfilling these goals?
what two things a month?
what one or two things a week?

marriage - actively engage in meaningful social events, be forthcoming, put the word out to others, walk in the path of the Lover Jesus, practicing fearless unconditional love, taking masculine steps in proactivity instead of waiting to be acted upon. waste no time in doing this. attend a social event a week, four a month...schedule this...pencil it in...use a calendar...sign up for forums that allow for exchange...seek Guides who can facilitate spiritual physical connection...

house - determine where would be ideal, what would be ideal, set forth a vision for a spot...put forth intention for this...then move fwd in getting this...in looking for this...get pre-approved for a mortgage, determine paperwork and logistics necessary to purchase, actively see houses, develop questions, and research them, look for a place in an area that i want to situate in, take trips to areas that are of interest, where i can work and live...place downpayment...daily: i can research things i need to know about purchasing a house. once a week: i can look at homes, and learn what questions to ask through this process...talk to people who have already purchased property/ies...monthly, i can goto the bank, find out about approval, preapproval

cooperative living - once a month, visit an intentional community. see if there are any that fit. if so, then get the house here...

wellness gift - survey, put it together based on principles of ayurveda, run it by people in positions to order bulk, determine logistics based on this, fine tune and connect with small and big artisans in wellness...
daily - survey, research the way others in industry have done it, if possible see if you can meet/interview some...contact organizations/companies/independent artisans for product, assembling gift...
weekly -  meet/correspond with heads of institutions - determine logistics of selling, determine tax, paperwork, liability, business needs ; develop materials as an opportunity-package for artisans and companies...
monthly: get 200 orders before spring equinox, 500 by summer, and 1000 by fall...sell to partners, get sales team, publish pedagogical books.
other to do's: business partner...potential partners to purchase...

poetry healing program - once a week, 8 weeks, enroll 5-7. develop curriculum. practice curriculum. put together teas and fine tune. do three times. publish poetic prose.

panchakarma - set up shop in a space that i can rent out for a month or two at a time, do this in different regions...sell several units...determine business end of things - paperwork, mission, pricing, marketing materials, clear program, feedback forms, intake forms, handouts, materials needed to perform the act - start with what you have...see if you can collaborate with others...

work with what you have

yoga anatomy & physiology course - design curriculum...practice it...align with asanas and breath...align with pancha-maha-koshas...set up shop...collab with yoga studios...do some videos...

herb walks in nyc parks - learn the herbs here...get books...talk to those who know...

herbal medicine making course - create curriculum...practice...partner...sell units...set up shop...

stick to one thing at a time...give it your all...focus...focus...

this year my intention is to focus, to change my storyline from someone who lets circumstance happen to someone who creates circumstance...circumstance that is aligned with Purpose and vision...does this in a way that is money-smart...that walks the two worlds my boy who has grown cynical and paranoid and hateful now, once told me during his more quiet moments - "the elders," he told me "taught us to walk two worlds - the Real world, and the false reality".

the false reality is babylon. is ephemeral. requires facilitation/Guidance to flow out of of, otherwise hurt, pain, destructiveness...now i get it!!! we are intricately tied into each others lives because each of us are One, and each of us make up the whole that is One, and that when we are in departure, any one of us, we all suffer, and that no matter how good you are or i am and no matter how much meditation and yoga, and laughter in your own life...tears will flood your insides if you don't have inner peace, and inner peace requires us all to be good, to be in unison...in this way, we have to care about the next person, whether the next person for you represents that which is anathema to your perception or not, whether, for instance, for me, whether they represent racial/religious/ethnic/linguistic - hegemony, hatred, imperialism, colonialism, etc...or not...

so...as i walk this path, stay open...give...build lines of communication, be clear about lines of laws set by ALLAH, the One, the One-ness...

all praise is due...