eid 2017 summer solstice revolution

...all praise is due...give thanks and praise for ramadhan, for this month of surrender, of shutting down babylon, engaging in non-attachment from the senses, to work from the place of witness, from Source, from the Seer...watch this body through time and space, run without fuel, sweat through vinyasas, only to have greater energy an hour later, to feel Closer...

ramadhan 2017 was ant once an act of commune with others, with those closest to me, and those i only met for the first and last time in the indonesian, bosnian, guniean...mosques i attended for prayer, for surrender, for concluding another day together and watching, witnessing the senses re-engage, disengage, let go...

powerful to prostrate...this ramadhan, my head came down more, body dissolved more, energy grew Higher...and then, at the end...a day of commemoration, eid ul fitr...

at the end, at day of conclusion, the bangli-brother-preacher at the house of Essence, said that eid was like graduation...we were graduating, as if from a program, he said...

...led me into a deep ascension, spiraling into this analogy in the constant space of studies in my own life, studies that culminate into a big day that has more often than not been anti-climactic...celebration and then poof, gone...all the people you came to know, gone, no longer sharing space...you  are left on your own, like high school graduation, like college...the institutions that kept you in bond are gone, and you are left to your own devices, to fend for yourself in the cold world...

...but this time i received a coat, a soof, the shawl of poets of ancient mathematics...a covering unlike the ana/prana/vijana...maya-koshas - a sheath that is based on the lessons of this degree of ramadhan 2017...

how are you using your lessons from this doctoral program you have just completed? what were your lessons? how can you now apply them, now that you have this diploma?

my lessons were that i am neither this body nor this mind - both are changeable...both are impermanent, both have gone through changes, both have suffered from a sense of attachment, both have maintained a cage due to believing in something that is not real...

my lessons derived from this, is that i can go much deeper, walk on air, reposition my body into spaces i reserve for others that are not who i've come to identify as me (the restricted self)...

that is, the lesson in witnessing from a place of Witness, leaves me less attached to the sense of pain and gasp and fear that leaves me panting...instead, i can breathe in equanimity into a pose, witness the pain, and breathe deeper, instead of growing anxious...hanuman, legs behind my head, middle split...

...the lesson is that if i am Witness, than to maintain a state of Witness, i must stay humble, through giving...ramadhan keeps us in a state of Surrender through giving up of the anamyakosha - the food body...the key is to give - giving liberates you from the chains of the body...giving keeps you from attaching to that which is maya...giving keeps you in a space of doing, of being fruitful, of supporting the balance...

...this diploma of ramadhan 2017 has left me in a space of asana that is without restriction because pain is annicha...has left me in a space of non-attachment to food-sensations that are less than sattvic - thus, no-flesh, and foods prepared with love, with minimal processing, cooking at a temperature that is like the touch of the sun.....has left me bowing down as a ritual to stay in reminder, in humility, that i am neither this body nor mind, and thus Surrendering both 5 times a day....has left me with reading sattvic texts on spins - qur'an, gita, yoga sutras, bible, torah...has left me in a state of zakat - giving towards deeper homeostasis, as money is not a ball and chain, but just paper, and the space from senses, the space of Witness, allows perspective on that which is Real, and actualizing that which is Real by giving...leaving me in zakat, not just in money, but in making happen what has to happen in my offerings through the pursuits i've engaged in, not for my glory, but to be in a space of Glory, and doing this through the therapy of yogum (asana, breath, meditation, yama, niyama, panchamayakosha), of herbal medicine, and nutrition, to heal the blind and raise the dead, to mind the belly into a space of cosmos instead of being a graveyard...has left me in a space of risks for the common good, as they are fleeting, and lead to new possibilities...and nothing to grow attached to...

...all praise is due for this degree...that i take with me in this new revolution around the sun, in my sun cycle, closely paired with the position of the summer solstice - to give...through non-attachment and risk...

full moon: june/ramadhan 2017

the moon. it was the parts of a memory...flashes that came and left without requiring a second thought, as if it were so beautiful, recall was unnecessary. there was no deliberate pause this time. pause was just the nature of being. the fast required the slow down...all praise is due...

last full moon, i intended to let go of individual purpose, of just individualizing purpose, and instead, align Purpose with Glory, with that which serves, draws myself and others to One-ness...

what happened here was canada, was drawing up 8 workshops with the lens of we, of how badly we need each other, that our need is like lovers in that moment of lift, of wow, of wings fluttering in their belly and hearts, and lifting their feet off concrete, off the shackles of to-do's and appointments to draw highways to quantum physics...

we need each other, we need you to need you, to love you, but don't stop there...share the love...pay it forward, love the ones next to you, at home, in your building, block, subway, work place...Love...like the lover, lovers, in want, in need, in surrender to that feeling of wow, of High...

as without, so within...that was the theme, repeated by the couple who attended every single workshop, who in their forties stole glances, openly flirted, found ways to interlace hands throughout the weekend...

...for the circle of participants, our heart began to ache as time came to a close in our journey in healing, in exploring the ancient mathematics of healing...soon we would be off in trucks and planes and conversations of a past...soon i was back in the airport, in vancouver, finding a dead-end passage to squeeze my bones of airplane air, flowing methane out of my body, becoming a rivulet that little kids pointed to in recognition, said yoga...

...the intentions last so long as i recall them, so long as they are in the forefront of thought and subconscious...like many other things in my life - out of sight out of mind...

...i am out of my mind, almost, glimpses of going past anamayakosha, pranamayakosha, manamayakosha, vijnanyamayakosha, anandamayakosha....past subtle bodies, past confusing this mind with this experience...

...almost...for glimpses...during asana, during pranayama...during dhyna...during pratyahara...

this moon, this moon which was already a few days back...this moon i let go of waiting for things to happen - home - mainly home - it's at the center of my quagmire - in relation to work, relations, making medicinals, co-creative space, community, herbs garden, farming, self-sufficiency, ashram - and instead i am proactive, i make home...

...home, building, creating, in tangible terms of that which is intangible...actualizing actualization, instead of waiting for it to happen...

...doing this through decluttering, through taking micro steps, through risks, through being okay with the possibility of falling...inshALLAH...

...for You...yeah...for You...shine, shine, diamonds and yellow...

ramadhan 2017: a call to action

action is essential to the spiritual process...i've been hearing this from various teachers, from those who Know...

this is seen in the bhagavad gita, arjuna fighting in the battle field...tempted to leave it all, to get away, to focus on meditation, etc. krsna tells arjuna to stay, encourages him to focus on the action...otherwise it would be running away...running away from your duties will keep you bonded to those experiences...but krsna also tells arjuna that action with desire - is also not action... because that keeps us in a state of attachment...

action without desire is the goal of proper action - action without goal of personal gain. action is skill in action - action that liberates us - this is done through action as a worship of the One-ness, through self-less action.

we see this in the life of the prophet muhammad (s.a.w)...his life was a sajdah to those around him, and those not around him physically. he worked tirelessly to insist on fairness in all matters, without ever compromising his spiritual duties of prayer, alms-giving, acts of gratitude, pilgrimage, fasting, etc. in fact, the prophet's actions towards a better world were inseparable from his spiritual practices...

then the question becomes clear - what are you called into action to do?

based on the legacy of prophets, the running theme seems to be to fight injustice, to work towards fairness, to establish a more perfect union (globally)...

somehow, as i write this, i know, my spirit knows there are people being whose ways are being desecrated, their cultures decimated, their homes bombed and depleted, their families the targets of the most advanced technological weapons...and these same people are lauded as demented, portrayed as pathological, etc...i hear progressives regurgitate the party line from what they understand to be a progressive perspective, which sustains the party perspective on the pathology of these people...but the truth is clear...you Know it - what compassionate actions are you taking to render peace, to stop genocide?

what am i doing? how can i act without the motive of status, recognition-seeking?

a woman at the sufi durgah, after iftar, announced her work with refugee children in camps in turkey. she said she was an english teacher there, but when refugees from the levant came pouring in, her conscience led her to the camps. she left her job and began working in the refugee camps, sharing with children her love of art. she taught them to draw, to use art as a medium of therapy, to release. she left her job, to work, to do deep meaningful work, without weighing too heavily the consequence of this on her wallet.

i used to hear from some that they don't have the privilege of doing charity work. if you think of working for peace, for fairness, for humanity, for the earth, as charity, because it's not you under a bomb or drone, or bullet, then of course, it's charity. and charity is inherently privileged, and requires a separation of self from the object of work. but it you are clear in no one but One, that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere...that by pretending that what's happening there is there and doesn't concern you is just that - pretending - then you are called to action. most of my s/heros didn't come from privilege, yet they went far above the call to act...

...i will be weighing this deeper in shaping my movement...

ramadhan 2017: ALLAH in Vedanta

ALLAH is neither begotten nor does he beget.

who/what is ALLAH? the repetition of definition in every verse in the Recitation is clear, and states as much - we have provided clear signs for those who will think... no one but One...

la ilaha illala

tawheed - the One-ness of ALLAH is central to this path of Surrender...

what does la illaha illala mean to you?

for some, i hear definitions that are popular in other religious thought - the Creator, and the created - a distinction between subject and object...this gives me the visual of a super-human like figure, who has created everything and just watches it, towering over his creation...

although this image seems simplistic, reductive, it is one that many seem to understand as they think of the day of judgement, and Allah as the Judge, presiding over the courtroom scenario, etc.

but if ALLAH, as described in the Recitation, is All-Knowing, All-Seeing, All-Being...if ALLAH, as described in the Recitation has no beginning no end...then...

...then how can the created be separated from the Creator...? then ALLAH is not restricted by space, the way countries, through demarcations are - that is, you can print God bless India, but there are no borders to ALLAH...ALLAH is not restricted to a room, a building, a house in the suburb, a hospital or mosque, or cup or bed or mountain top or river...thus, ALLAH is not bound by space...but space itself...

...nor is ALLAH bound by time - no beginning, no end - no born on june 29th 1981 and passed on september 20th 2016...no finite dates can contain ALLAH...thus ALLAH is not restricted by time...but time itself...

...in addition to time and space....ALLAH is not bound to an object...that is, ALLAH is not a table, nor a mountain, nor the sun, nor a lion, nor a tall or short or thin and muscular person...thus, ALLAH is not restricted to being a form...but is all form at once...


....the definitions of Brahma, as described by the upanishads, and understood by vedantists, is nearly identical to the understanding of la illaha illala, of tawheed, of ALLAH...

...vedantists, in making lucid this science of understanding, come to the scientific conclusion as expounded by the great islamic scholar, ibn arabi, the poet rumi, the mystic al hallaj - non-duality -

...ALLAH is known through letting go of our sense of duality, of our ego, of our sense of self, status, etc., as distinct from other beings...

...between You and me, there is only me...-al hallaj

ramadhan 2017: ahimsa and the drivers seat

the journey is the destination.

it is an oft repeated maxim in yoga, even in classes you may encounter in a yoga studio or gym. afterall, regardless of how much focus there may be on the physicality, yoga's origin , which is steeped in cosmogony, seeps through.

ahimsa, the active practice in nonviolence, part of yama, the first limb of ashtanga yoga, or raja yoga, is an example of journey.

some of us want to get to scorpion pose before we can stand as a mountain, or fold as lava. but, there are equations, formulas, ancient mathematics to this ancient practice, meditated on and revealed by sages through years of practice, experience, continuum (generations).

western holistic health models offer meditation as a new alternative or supplement to the standard medical system. but in yogic thought, according to patanajali's yoga sutra's the code of conduct, the journey towards meditation, is the end in itself.

that is, if i am being violent, injurious in my manner of speech, or in my silent rage (if i keep my voice down and hands to myself but volcanically seething inside), in my actions, then just sitting down, shutting my eyes, will reap little benefit.

ahimsa, engaging in noninjury to yourself, to non-harm with the air and plants, other humans and species, is an essential part of the destination, as are the other yamas and -niyamas...

the vedantist lecturer i was listening to during my morning practice today, said it's not enough to think of the destination you have in mind, when getting in a car, i.e. going to baltimore from nyc to visit family, i may go into what i will be wearing, who will be there, the cafe and coffee, etc... but if i'm not paying attention to the road, how fast or slow i'm driving, etc., i may not make it there at all...

...ahimsa, take heed...

ramadhan 2017: yama - ahimsa

nonviolence. ahimsa, the very first of the markers that denote yogic practice, in yama - yogic rules of conduct.

but, ahimsa is more than not being violent, iyengar tells us in the light on yoga. ahimsa, the absence of violence, is love. it is being love. what does it mean to be love?

ahimsa, is meeting opposition, without resistance. it is loving someone unconditionally, knowing that they are part in parsel of the One-ness we are all part of, while at once being able to oppose their actions, their hurtful views...as, ultimately, these actions/views, if they are hurtful, are not self.

ahimsa, is also more than just dogma. it is more than believing non-violence, theoretically, and then neglecting this in deed. for instance, i have been eating flesh these days. i believe in ahimsa, but what does it mean to believe in something if the walk is not there. arguably, one can eat flesh and be ahimsa, depending on how they engaged with that flesh, how it was sourced, how often they consume flesh.

conversely, one can be vegetarian, and still be engaged in violent intentions, thoughts, anger, destructiveness.

ahimsa is more than appearances, it is a living from a place of genuine love.

recently met a sister who was well spoken in yogic philosophy, in living in many ways aligned with the teachings of guru. yet, much of her speak was in opposition to others, in judgement of others, in deriding those who were doing what she considered as cheapening yoga. how ahimsa can you be if you hold others in such vitriolic regard?

ramadhan is a an opportunity at ahimsa. if not, if otherwise, what?

that is, what are we/am i giving up, fasting from? if it is just following dictates, then i will certainly still benefit, as there is a divine design to the month. but the Recitation encourages us, at every juncture, to think, to go deeper.

what is it that you are consciously letting go of this month, that is more than just about you? how are your actions supporting the balance of the One-ness, as reflected in the plurality of trees, peoples, water life, other species?

i'd like to grow deeper in ahimsa, in being love, in being this in how i speak with others, in how i eat (thus in relation to my body) after breaking fast, in weaning off flesh once again.

how will you grow deeper in ahimsa in yourself? 

panchamayakosha

the five sheaths of human existence, as understood in yogum, constitute the pancha maya koshas - 5 appearances of coverings/sheaths.

these five are described in the upanishads, and referenced by the vednatists i listen to, as being likened to a matryaoshka doll, or russian nesting doll.

the five are the physical body, the breath body, the mental/ego body, the intellect body, and the bliss-body. they grow from grossest to most intangible, from surface to depth.

the deeper we go within ourselves, the less clarity there is on substance. afterall, if the basic structure of existence, is the atom, and the atom itself is lacking clear form, as illustrated by the erratic nature of electrons that come in and out of valences, appearing, disappearing, then matter is itself, at this great depth, questionable.

but, the vedantists say that, according the upanishads, none of these bodies constitutes you, me, i. this is due to the fact that all of these forms occupy impermanence.

then, that which is i is that which is permanent. what is always?

in buddhist thought, the triage of concepts that resound are - annicha, dukha, and annata - impermanence, sorrow based on identifying with that which is impermanent, and non-self, which also is a cause of suffering, if one understands them-self as that which is not them.

annata touches a similar ground to anandamayakosha - the bliss body - that even here, is not you.

then who are you?

ramadhan revelations

today, during my second practice, i learned that the body indeed has more reserve than i am led to believe at times...that purusha indeed gives existence to prakriti, as detailed in samkhya thought as understood by yogis, vadiyas, and vedantists..

did a strong 2nd practice, and somehow, it only gave me more strength...i believe the practice throughout the year, outside ramdhan has partially prepared me for this...in that, i usually will wait to eat until i have completed my practice, even if it has been a while since my last meal...this method, allows me to be empty and go deeper in breath and through a strong practice, quench my appetite...

...also learned the importance of grounding in rituals that are not the screen...that, like food, sex, and other desires/lusts, the screen, being behind this screen is also a lust, a type of macro-micro-chip nutrient that feeds the tamas in you, the inert, lethargic, you, the one whose heart is sealed and is seeking gratification as soon as the imam moses has retreated to the cave for 40 days and nights, because you now feel free...

this is the modern revolution, the one we have to come to be frankensteins in, the one that turned over the rule of law, of divine laws, of accountability and respect and reverence for the trees and forests and rivers and lakes and mountains, elders, and parents and anyone else who is in the way of whatever you desire...

...the freedom that is at stake in the modern world is the one between those who hold accountability to elders, spouses, children, land, forests, water, prayer, One...and the ones who prize the motto f the world, f everyone else, do you, i do me, the ones who say it's a free world, you can do whatever you like and do so by coming with an idea for an organic coconut drink and clear out entire natural forests for mono-cropping coconut trees, not caring that the coconut tree is part of a rich diverse ecosystem of a variety of plant and insect and bird life...

...the fast of ramadhan is fasting from the overloaded senses, the assault that occurs on reward pathways, that shoves dopamine to the point that our body doesn't recognize it, and requires more and more just to get that initial high - more meat, more porn, more alcohol, more sugar, more gadgets, latest, greatest...

...fasting from these screens, today, for a brief while, for me, meant reading...read Qur'an...read al baqara...most of it...read for close to an hour...felt good in the inverse way i feel after being behind a screen for an hour - like i was sleazed on, like i could vomit, but can't, so hold it in...

...reading the Qur'an felt like kale with dill, and red onions, and tangerine, and capers, with cold-pressed estra virgin olive oil and sea salt and apple cider vinegar, after a fresh glass of green juice with ginger...

...after...got deeper with the float forward and back in asana practice...went hard...felt good...even as i was running on empty...felt awakened from the zombie state i was in from surfing the web earlier...

away from the screen

Air Land Liquid Atmosphere Heat requires us to walk away from the screen to experience air, to inhale and expire, to see, to swim to earth, root, climb, reach...

...had to shut the laptop when i walked around her, when i navigated her through the spheres of ancient math, a riddle that she soon entangled as we proceeded to go through different phases of her, as we delved into self, into notions of self, into multi-head self-proclaimed gods...

...no one but One...

...shut the screen. the door is wide open. walk. out. leave. now. shhhh....

the missing words between the surahs at the dikr, during the sheiks lead up to Surrender...the missing words said a lot...led to a trail...Quiet...

...the job hunt...Purpose is missed...

responsibility is to maintain, sustain, create, build, be fearless...away from the screen...do the work...in partnership, in community...you are needed...you are desperately needed...and his his her her need/s fulfill yours...both...a two way...dialogue...out of the screen...or no dialogue...

the conversation of life is missed in the screen, in the text...who is the fb guy you knew 10 years back and haven't seen since but are now desperately hanging on to for posts?..

of course...you are naturally a Seeker...we all are...we are seeking...we are in need...we are in need of that which is Real and are kept from this, kept away for a reason, for deep reasons...for the reason that is described in the old testament, the torah, the israelites turning their back on moses, worshipping the golden calf, fornicating, engrossed in material desire, sensation...

the worshippers of the golden calf run what you see hear and think...and you are speaking into a headpiece outside your door, amidst hundreds of people you don't say a word to, people you live next to, because you have the ear piece, the cell phone to type texts into, the social media to post and read posts...

...in babylon social isolation, the society of individualism, of every man woman can be king queen, can do whatever they want regardless of consequence, is remedied through technology...the isolation is taken care of through this medium...

...shut the screen...stop reading this and be it...work...quit your job...there is work to be done...real work...are you ready?

...don't give up...not now...

...this ramadhan grow deeper in your fast, in your Surrender, in your gnosis, in actualizing Purpose...you may not be here next ramadhan...peace...