move like winter, like dry leaves bansheeing ireland in queens...
full moon 2017. august. black august. white is the color of my mothers teeth. brown is the color of the earth, the farmers i met today make paths in...they are clearing weed shrubs for passages, for movement...
full moon and i am blurred between mantra and change...between repetition and of a dream, of a phrase, of a self-help catch-phrase and something giving, some kind of discovery, some kind of revenue, and ride-or-die, and house, and family...
somethings got to give...
...it's me...that was the intention for this new year - i've got to give fully, to surrender fully in this path, without compromise, without fear of failure, because this is not about money, this is not about scarcity...because ALLAH is Infinite...
...and of course, this is the mantra...a repetition of that which i recognize as truth...
...where i'm at is i do this work of heart to heart, of working towards a better world, a more meaningful us, all of us, and hope to instill compassion in all of us, in myself, in the past and future...
...working to relieve the pain the of the past, the fears of the past, of lineage, by staying firm in spirit, in bowing down, in praying, in reading scripture, in keeping my tongue wet with ALLAH, in not selling my soul for the devil's pie...did you already sell yours?..
...working to restore peace in the future, to facilitate the ALWAYS, a world that respects one another, plurality, is in alignment with the One-ness, the Laws, like sun n moon...
how does this happen? the past is cleared, cleansed, through my actions now, in how i eat, how i engage with the food i eat, in how i carve time to pray, in how i am connecting, building with my family, from a place of reverence, from a place of salam, of responsibility, of tribe...
...our tribe is splintered and i have no fingers to point to...i can tell you that it was a changing world, a world that had jobs in the cities, and the cities where was the gold was, where education was, where the modern was, where the future was, and the village was where the backward were, where the uncivilized, uncouth, uneducated, old were...but most importantly, it was where those who would become indentured to the city dwellers were...afterall the villages are the places where things grow and the cities were people manage, shot-call, sit behind desks, make posters on computers, to get others to eat and buy...
...i am cleared through the village...through being the village for my family, my tribe, in carrying forth the values of my village, my tribe...they are beautiful values, unvalued in the modern world - being humble, respecting the Creation, the earth, living in accord with the Laws of the Universe, praying, being in community, moving as a community, community is a threat to babylon...babylon is everywhere in the world now, in our cells, in my cells, they keep me in a state of riding this thing out, of thinking somehow it will workout for me, that i will be an exception, that i could ride the line - walk truth and babylon...
...ALLAH-hu-Akbar...
...this month i let go of the last, this full moon as i reflect on this current state of deficit spending, of being apart from income, and the blues this sings...i am also reminded of that which is Always...of ALLAH-hu-Akbar - ALLAH is greater than a moment of woe, of challenge, of fear and trepidation...
...as i reflect, i am reminded of this opportunity to be again, to have this opportunity to provide, to move, to have this body, thes arms, legs, these fingers to type with, these words to release, to share, these eyes to see...
...almost didn't make it last month...almost...could've been something else...could've been you reading these writings of a post-humous unknown author...
...this month, as a i release this past, as i let go of the challenges that i am still dealing with after the accident, after making a poor purchase, i am reminded in mantra that ALLAH is Infinite, that there is no scarcity, that the most important thing to do is do, to work, to work from a place of Always, not to prove a point, not to make a name, not to seek Glory, but to support all of us in aligning with One - through the laws, through each other...
all praise is due...
...i need ten thousand dollars a month to see people for a month, to do treatments on them, to work with them to facilitate their change and their deepening their relationship with Mother, with their mother, with their kids, with generations before and after - you have to cleanse your past because you carry the hurt of it, to cleanse you have to feed your soul, you feed your soul through giving yourself over to that which is ALWAYS, through works of goodness, through doing good, through helping others...of course, i hear my mothers voice, the truth, telling me to stop speaking nonsense, that you can barely feed ourselves so how could you be trying to help others when you can't help your self?
she's right...has to be both...
...do good deeds...work...panchakarma...focus on panchakarma...on herbal medicines for those who can't do panchakarma, for those who can't afford it...on providing nutritional and lifestyle support...
...everything should be geared towards helping those who need you, not those you can get money from...all praise is due...
...the work then, here, is salat - connection ; dua - prayer - is to promote the tradition of ancient medicine, to do panchakarma...
...this month then is to let go of being distracted - distracted almost got me killed; this month is to let go of codependence, in lack of clarity, of making poor decisions based on trust, on lack of planning, on desperation...work from a place of clarity, of honesty, of planning, of impartiality, of being at once in Law (methodical) and in flow - vinyasa - strength and flexibility...
...let go of lack of clarity and distraction, by being present, methodical, clear, heart to heart from a place of Law...so this would mean going with a list of criteria to car salesman, then taking the vehicle to a trusted mechanic, getting a clear opinion - it would mean then negotiating a price, instead of working on a price for something that is a broken piece of asphalt passed as gold...
...being present and clear in the heart to heart means working, doing the work in Quiet...herbal medicines, bodywork, laxatives, cooking...aligning with the Always by supporting others...as without so within, your hurt is in the universe, and by helping the hurt in the universe heal, and those who inflict hurt (as they are hurt), we heal the past and the future...
