winter solstice 2017

...blessed new year...blessed completion of another revolution...around the sun...earth around the sun...she around he....man woman child...the holy ankh...It was Written...dna...genetics...actg...the codons spiraling around each other in a double helix, replicated by rna and conveyed into protein...the structure of existence... through messengers that execute scripture...you are living Scripture...the holy book...the Quran, torah, bible, vedas, tipitaka, pyramid texts...

...you already Know...as without so within....everything that exists in the universe exists within you...and what is in the cosmos is a reflection of you...a mirror King/Queen...I see You...

...this winter solstice...during this period of death...of three days of coffin...of being in dark...reach for the light within...the Light that Lights...where is that for you?...what is that for You?...what are the gifts you were given, the ones that are your medium to convey the Essence?...how have you honed it?...how are you sharing it...?...I'm learning that sharing your gift is essential to honing it...In the exchange with others, you are growing deeper with it...

...put aside the fear...put aside the ego...If your goal is to develop a name for yourself...to seek glory...know that Glory belongs to ALLAH alone...thus your goal, your Purpose is inextricably tied to the condition of all beings (more than just hue-man)...

...written in your dna is the story...the gift...

...this year i devote to Surrendering to the Source of Peace in the self Love kit...the collaboration on this...the coalescence of a life's work in writing as therapy, as meditation, with connections with the earth through herbs, food, with connections with the planets through movement...with connections with each other...through courses...community...

...life is about each year growing in your ability to better sustain a state of being 'turned on'....

...leave yourself...

...who you think you are...who you have carefully constructed...who has been carefully molded by the invisible hands of man...leave this person you think you are...and travel as far as china...travel and find yourself...leave...quietly...now...do it now...

...Quietness...in Quiet i've heard...the answer lies in Quiet...the letting go...wrote yesterday, posted...and here i am again...what happened to me typing yesterday...hitting backspace when i made a flagrant spelling error...? where is that person...? where is that moment? what about the moment when i started this, minutes ago...when i read rumi poems...when i was at my boy's place earlier, in the country, watching him build a house...discarding waste from his jars...wondering if my hands were going to freeze off...and if they did...if they did, i would feel it now...so i used caution...i worked smartly...took pauses...just i wasn't as smart in ingesting earlier, and am now feeling a bit queasy...even as a i fast...even as i continue this tradition of revering the moon...

...what is it that constructs your identity? that others expect of you? that you've come to expect of yourself? are you a lover of music...of consuming massive amounts of music?...what if you were someone who listened as music came up, but didn't seek it out...?...are you attached to a certain style of clothing...?...what would happen if you dressed differently?...what would happen if your dress were baggy if it is currently tight...?... are you invested in how you are perceived...? what if your movement weren't from audience but from a devotional vinyasa to One - drink when thirsty...move, when body requires...peace out when sleep calls...?...

...do you hold grduges...? what if you let go of them...?...what if you sought to understand?...what if you were transparent all the time instead of holding on to your pride...?...

...let go of who you think you are for who You Are...

full moon dec 2017

...this is it...the conclusion of full moons in 2017...the past few full moons have been powerful in what they are reflecting for me...a sense of non-reality...a sense of drown...like going through water, like leaving footprints on sand...

...the last full moon, my intention was to focus on results, to look at and work towards the results i want to see...not sure i've done that...instead...over the course of the past couple weeks, after returning to nyc for the holiday...i got to thinking more of Higher Frequency...and this has led me to cutting out, or to a minimum babylon music, of eating more Higher Frequency foods, avoiding those foods that keep me in a state of low, of tamas...listening to Higher Frequency music, like midnite and nusrat...and classical kurdish music, and pali chants laying down dharma...

...also...been watching my thoughts and have been noticing the sense of separation, of how the greater the attempt to be different, to be other than You, to see flaw in you, to judge you for the way you look, your age, your style of speech, your economics, your opinions...that every time my thoughts judge...i grow deeper in a well of pain....and it makes sense...because we Are One...and when we separate and the greater separation we seek...we grow more apart from the One-ness...

...how do you get past the hump of you, of getting past your sense of difference?...of your sense of you as separate...by delving deeper in your pain and embracing it, creating from it, making art that comes out for from this...thinking about my mom and how she creates elaborate meals and feeds people, and how abbu did this with his writing, and continues to make art through his activism and take the pain of being hurt by the babylon systems and finding roads to/for peace...in community...in coming together with others...

...all praise is due for these mathematicians for laying out the laws for me...

...so this month i grow deeper in Higher Frequency...in Self...in embracing the pain, in hugging it, in exposing it, in letting go of it...this month i become Higher Frequency through unconitional Love...through giving, through declutter...through  non-audience...through embracing You in ALL...