...money... cash rules... not everything... but a lot...
...in babylon... cash = money... power... respect..
...in my ancient math... the formulas i got from abbu... ammu... dada = love... giving... working... self-lessness... prayer... feeding... raising a family ... doing right by family... being diligent... purposeful... respecting elders... to everything there is a season...
...all this rules everything about us...
...did the math... the two don't add up ... growing up i was challenged by arithmetic ... mostly understood addition subtraction multiplication and division ... didn't get algebra... basics... but i understand now that there are variables...
...this is a case of variables...
...been trying to wrap my head around actualizing Purpose without the variable of making money out of it since i can remember...
...i worked for free... so jobs with a salary worked, cause i didn't have to think about extra time put in... wasn't counting the countless hours put in... or where my paycheck was coming from ... since it was a salaried position... and instead just focused on the work...
...it's a paper game... one of the homies once said...
...paper and i were like peace and the ameri-con spread of democracy...
...has me scratching my head... don't get it... what does democracy have to do with exterminating other people, looting their oil and resources... telling us they are a threat?...
...didn't get how me doing massage, make herbal medicinals, cooking medicinal foods... teaching the sacred science of yoga... healing work... can be exchanged for paper ... how do i ask?...
...so... i learned this rahmadhan, at the maosque on 96th... in the midst of bowing down to surrender, after sundown, after mint tea and dates and fruits... 3 days before the end of rahmadhan 2018... that i feel most in al Salam... when my head is bowed... when it is touching ground... like the son of ibrahim... like a lamb ready for the guillotine... like a castaway seeing land for first time in months...
...and feeling this peace... i realized that it came from being in Surrender... in giving up my ego... if only for a few seconds...
...and this made me think about the past 26 days of rahmadhan... about the 20-21 hour days of no water no food, and the 2-3 hours of daily yoga practice... of doing bodywork for upto 4 hours in a row sometimes... and how... even in the most challenging of moments... i came out okay... and more than okay... my body was shedding toxins... was being humbled... was getting clean... as i was inspired (surah jonah) to do this for You... for getting Closer...
...so then... if there is Work to be done... and i mean Work... more than jobs... and that Work, based on the teachings of the prophet... is worship... then based on my path of medicine man... what was Work that i needed to do... to be of Service to the homeostasis of One-ness...?... and how do i subsist off of it???...
...what i learned is this... that the Work needs to be done... and that in doing it... in remaining completely focused and in Surrender... everything else will get done... and just like in rahmadhan... the Work happens through declutter... through focus... through rituals that sustain the Work (iftar/suhoor)... through rituals that grow the Work (reading the Recitation)... through community that enhances, sustains, and nourishes the Work (breaking fast in community, praying in community, etc.)
...how does this look for you?...
...for me... the self-Love kit with the herbal blends... this is what i decided to embrace with uncertainty this earth cycle... and for my sun cycle... i put forth the intention of uprooting that which i am complacent in... to take out the weeds of comfort in order to grow, to reach, to learn...
...what is comfort for you? ... it is appearances... it is staying hidden... it is being seen in a certain way... it is being at my parents place... it is being close to friends and family... it is having someone in my life as a goto... it is doing things my way... being in control... it is doing this by avoiding what i need to do...
...what is disconcerting for you?... for me... for me it is commitments; it is doing one thing; it is dealing with that which is in front of me; ... it is decluttering... it is taking risks... it is being seen falling... it is falling... taking the next step like in my writings... in my yoga... in my healing work... in my medicines...
...if the Work needs to be done... if it will grow Love on our earth... in our galaxy... in inter-ancestral.... inter-cosmic conversation... then do it... now ... without fear... take the risks... make mistakes... do it with right intention... move from the inner compass... and keep going...
No comments:
Post a Comment