...12 steps... 8.28.21...

 

...always... Always in Your Presence i tried to hide the trauma of migration and childhood of bullies and sari's of salat and fasting... this is me... You Know.. and ammu says this often... most new yorkers do - you know... a phraseology that acts as a sentence suffix... a root of which exists in the realm of the Teachings as imparted by the angel djibril who you may know as gabriel... to the prophet of this path of Surrendering to the Source of Peace... which you may not know is the translation of the most demonized Spiritual path in the west  - islam... 

...rich roll, in an interview with another pod caster credits the 12 steps for his constant state of recovery... afterall it is a moment to moment thing - falling and getting up - the struggle - until we learn to fly... and shaykh hamza yusef says of the 12 steps, of the reason why it works is the first step - which is to admit, to accept that you have no control in any of this, that there is a Higher Power that does, and in your Surrender you are able to get the help you need...

...are you Surrendering or are you still trying to be in control? to run the show...?... let go... and let.........

...Surrender to the Law... 8.27.21...

 ...me?... i am only possible in my moments of crumble... this is when possibility occurs... when the arrogance diminishes... is sometimes forced to by the circumstances of the One... in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate... the Most Merciful... 

...i bear witness... do you... or is the world too much of a draw... is your pride too heavy...?... are you incapable of acknowledging wrong... or acceptance... to what may be beyond you to know... perhaps the people/person/s you feel wronged by were only acting according to Law and if you believe in dharma... if you have dharma... you will know that there is Law... just look at the trees... the leaves on them... look at the birthing process.. the trimesters... there is Law...

...if you recognize that this shariah (Law) is innate like the ACTG that determine the color of our eyes and length of our toes... then you recognize that you me and everyone you know is bound by the Law... and for every act of free will there is a Law that responds and the reaction is in what you get... it is karma... cause and effect... whatever causes you to get angry from babylon has an effect and thus you remain within the Law even if you want to or not... 

...if this is True... than everyone of us are within the Law... and so when you feel wronged by someone... they are just expressing their misery/hurt/anger from what the Law has handed him for their actions, thoughts, etc... 

...people of Spirit Recognize the Law and can move accordingly... can see how it effects us and others... especially for those who attempt to go past/beyond it... our entire modern culture is premised on this false notion of freedom that leaves vast swaths of our population - white, black, brown, red, yellow - to be in a state of arrogance, ostentation, conceit - and thus be in the states that come along with it - angry, hateful, lustful, greedy, violent, disrespectful, etc... they are only acting out the Law when they shoot that needle in their arm... 

...so Love... grow deeper in Your Quiet to Love... as it is accorded by the Law...  unconditional... 

...friday... do it now... 8.26.21...

 

...in the name of ALLAh... friday... the day that jammat is prescribed... the recommendation that people come together in prayer if you have not already throughout the week... ho have you connected with others in your life in prayer...?... more than just in getting a drink or going out to a restaurant... how was prayer part of it...?...

...what would you regret if someone close to you passed?... if you passed...?... it's inevitable... one of the guarantees in life... that this body will perish...

...i would regret not showing up for those who have shown up for me... of not showing up for those who are in need/challenged... less fortunate... for the Work that needed to be done that i ignored... neglected... due to my own self involvement... i would regret not making use of the Gift of time to share what i've done with it - write... yoga... vegan/plant based... love... walk through walls...

...do it... now ... Quietly... Quietness is the surest sign... 

...your Work is your village... 8.23.21...

 

...in the name of the One... ness... Compassion... Mercy... have Mercy... please... 

...do you have mercy?... do you show mercy to yourself, to your body? to your family friends strangers?... how?... i show mercy through these ancient practices... salat... dua... dhikr... mantra... asana... pranayama... ahimsa... soucha... poetry... writing... dream journaling... Quietude... 

...i could go deeper in my Service... in my karma yoga... as the whole Purpose of our Being is to worship... and the way to worship is through your selfless service to the Creation... as ALLAH conveys and as krsna tells arjuna... work is better than devotion but for the learned... they are one and the same... "work is worship", the prophet muhammad said...

...what is your Work?... your karma yoga... how are you serving?... i've been encountering people who have offerings... things they sell... that become a medium of interaction with the public... and opportunity to Connect and also make a living... sustain themselves... this has been drawing me... it will keep me from running after Connection and instead have meaningful Connection through the prescription - Work... 

....when you show up... You Are showing up for Work that needs to be done... not gain followers... not to grow your instagram... but because the Work requires doing... as greta has shown us... showing up at her consulate and skipping school to do so... taking a boat across the atlantic... not to get press and followers but to raise an issue so existential that it involves all of us...

...what's something you feel strongly about...?... so strange that it requires this level of attention... think beyond what is acceptable... what is normal... what would be cool...

...when i think about it... what comes up for me is migration... of having to leave and relocate and the impact this has on your ancestry and culture and the cultures that you move into and how it impacts all of us and how more than legal and illegal... its is why is it happening...?... what concerns me is individualism... why are we not talking to each other...?... why are we so conditioned to think only for ourselves and that when people get together and become a community they are labeled as a cult or something derogatory?... what concerns me is the lies... the lies of trends... of being convinced to buy something to be part of something or risk not being part... of the lies of food and what's int he supermarket and how it's killing us... of mono cultures and big agriculture and the do you and be an entrepreneur without any consideration for anything or anyone else... 

...i guess what yogini has taught me is that when you are in samadhi you move from that place of Truth... instead of fighting it... it becomes Compassion Mercy...

...full moon... 22 august 2021...

 

...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate... the Infinite... the Source of Peace... the Source of Creation... 

...the One is Known through creation, creativity... afterall it is observable... we were created... part of a creative process... the code we received from our parents and ancestors have painted us into these brushstrokes of features... so Love yourSelf... not in spite of others... not as an exception... not as a reaction to the standards... but from a place of Peace...

...from a place of Peace lean into your facial features, your skin, the folds, the slight wrinkle along your cheeks when you smile that wasn't there last year at 23, but at 24 you notice, at 27 you notice tiny cobwebs when your eyes smile and at 31 you may notice your hair thinning slightly, areas of pudge which were lean... at 35 you are aware of a frown line, and at 41 you notice the lines burrowing where you smile...

...it's happening quickly... 23 43 67 81 94 103... it's happening and there's no stopping the returen.. .the great return... and just in case you forget you are presented with new generations coming into adulthoods that were babies when you were stomping around, in the height of your youth... 

...there are no more graduations to look forward to so you enroll in a program, a course, something to look forward to, to work towards... even though... even though...

...1000 miles an hour on a plane leaving for the himalayas and yet your on the rebound a second later, wondering how it happened when you just left the other day...

...this... this which can't be explained... the force that gives birth to you and me... to an avocado and banana... to the herbs you take as medicine... this energy... this energy that you feel without a word from different people in your life... this is the Mystery...

...and this full moon... in the transition out of this fast... i realize that i haven't been releasing... that what i've been avoiding is the letting go of excesses... and instead i run... drive... speed... chase Connection... perhaps it'll be a house in a neighborhood that i don't know anyone but could possibly settle... perhaps it'll be an event with writers... perhaps it'll be a vegan event... and what i realize in each is that it is the vendors... those offering something that are the onese who profit... who mst benefit as they are there for a reason,.. have an excuse to speak to you and me... through their offering...

...j told me that he goes to dead concerts to make his offerings and it's how he sustains himself... 

...this full moon i release showing up empty handed... release the running around... release the putting time and energy into places and people who are not from a place of intention - of Purpose - and instead like money... am deliberate about who i spend my time with and where i spend my time as it is of the utmost... You are priceless and my chase and haphazard expenditure of time and energy wastes this finite prana You have given me... 

...bismillah... 

....8.16.21... you are Seen...

 

...before you go running off with your head chopped off and circling through the rush of day time to do's... recall intention... steep intention in Spirit... ask yourself what is my intention?... this is a practice in the path of Surrender... before Connection... before bowing your head down... before you even the ritual cleasning of the body which is a prereq to the bowing... intention...

...you may know this already... you may practice this in whatever your spiritual or agnostic path is... it has been a bit eye opening for me... to go deeper in my day through clear intention... 

...in whatever you do, you should always have an audience of One... this is the audience that no matter where you go, however remote, hears your thoughts, sees your actions... Sees how you haven't showered for days or changed your clothes, or how you rush through your yoga practice or count the minutes of the day or Sees how you are avoiding by getting on social media, and Hears you cussing out family and friends and people you've come across... people who disappoint you... Sees how you point fingers event though you speak otherwise... 

...of course this is a battleground between you and you to get to You... to do so means to embrace what you are avoiding... to Reach Higher... to Work without fear even in the face of discomfort... to take risks and avoid perfection and see what the feedback is...

...there is Work to be done... no time to idle away in haterations with groupings of family or friends... no time to dilly dally about this or that when it is not birthing something... the Creation process is to birth... and to birth is to Create... to collaborate... to take risks... to sit with discomfort... to transmute... to Be come...

...8.14.21... drawing into dust...

 

...in the name of ALLAH... in the breath of... hoo... hoo... hoo...

...all praise is due for this path of yogi... of the teachings of the prophet muhammad (s.a.w)... of patanjali and krsna... of the siddhartha and confucius... of the sacred teachings of the dao and gita... of the vedas and qur'an - the seal... as there of ego began to unravel... the flick pic pic pic... 

...look away from me... through me... into me... to see YourSelf... and if i build walls of my incredibility i have desecrated the sacred... as the sacred is our ability to elevate each other to open the door for what is possible... this is possible... this path... these teachings of the Noor who made it possible for us to root in ritual... to write... read... be in a state of meditation as we vinyasa with pranayama...

...yesterday i drew... first in a long time and wondered if the two hours i spent doodling lines that became a self portrait was meaningful... but after... it felt powerful... it made me wonder if i could draw... made me wonder what was in my way as an art student in high school... if i could now achieve what the education system couldn't teach me through what krsna and the prophet teach me... what yoga unravels through the daily practice... all of this is a practice and the only sanctity in it lies in the sharing...

...in the name of ALLAH... the ritual of daily practice - hygiene... prepping meals... asana... meditation... writing... and drawing... prayer and space in between meals to be of Service... to do karma and Connect keeps me in flow... in You... 

...boom boxes... 8.12.21...

 

...my big bro walked with his hair falling over his intense eyes, his head nodding to black sabbath's war pigs blaring from his silver boombox that sat at the nook of his shoulder, his hand expertly coming around to keep a hold of the handle...

...i walked with him, 10 years old and smoking the weed he let me hold, as he stopped  to slap hands with the gaggle of dudes with long hair, metallica jersey's and cut off denim jackets. they had their own boom box going... a big silver double cassette boom box that the godly dean sat on like it was his throne... he smiled and held his hand out for my brother... his stubble like velcro for strings of hair that stuck to it... the rest of his mane fell over his bare back and chest... 

...homage little man, dean said, putting his hand out for the weed i was pulling... he was chomping on some weed himself, and passed it over to one of the guys behind him to smoke ours... it was the way we stated a tribe... in our neighborhood... back in the day... 

...smoke and spit kept us bonded... a platoon in the midst of astoria, queens, to keep our families safe, other neighborhood kids in check, and good times rolling...   

...Surrender to Yoga... 8.5.21...

 

...in the name of ALLAH... everything...

..ran a mile around the cusp of mount meru, before i fell into the river that ran down my sushumna... into the sacral channel before traveling up the pingala... and down again in a chakra... through the ida... 

...secret Ways for those who go deep in their practice... what is in the realm of the Unseen... "this is a book for those who have faith... who believe in the Unseens..."... 

...the mysteries of man lie in the scripture of the leaves as read by the angel djibril and recited (Qur'an) by the prophet muhammad for us to Know... only possible through Surrender (islam)... 

...have you Surrendered...?... how?... yoga will teach you to Surrender... if you want to stand with your leg behind your head... if you would like to go from headstand to one legged crow... if you want your feet to reach towards your crown while your head reaches back... Surrender... 

...for me this involves getting out of my way... of taking inventory in my head... of getting cluttered in thought as i engage in rote... there is nothing rote about this ha that - sun and moon - do you know the definition already?... have you read about it?... it is only hearsay unless you experience it ... 

...the Way to Surrender is through the teachings of the enlightened ones... those who gave us salat, yoga, meditation, plant medicine...

...in the name and breath of... 

...it is already there... you just need to let go...