prescription for depression

the sheik of the naqshabandi order, in offering medicine to counter depression, pulled on his waist length snowy beard and prescribed the following (if u r free): visit someone in prison.

i'm chanting the 99 names of ALLAH. i am in the outside realm. the 'big yard' as my boy who did a 4 year bid once told me.

not in prison. not locked up like my cousin. not locked up like a friend who was recaptured again recently, after spending close to half of his 33 years behind bars. not locked up like the 2.5 million here. not upstate rotting, 5 8 12 hours from family, from home.

if i can't get a job with experience, a degree, n no record, what must it b like to have a record?

this past month, every single job i've applied for, asked if i had ever been arrested, for what, when, why. asked if i was telling the truth, n if i wasn't, their background check would tell 'em anyway. it asked this of my man after he got out the penentiary in january. he tried filling out job app after job app, enroll in program after program for the formerly incarcerated. nothing. rent due in a few weeks, in a few days. yesterday. eviction letter. what  to do?

talking to myself like my brothers homie who's been in n out of institution. she got mentally broken n was jesus christing like she were on a crucifix asking/praying the rest of us be forgiven.

i hope i'm forgiven for being silent. for moving with bars in front of my face. talking to myself n looking away from the steel-toed cops, like i did something wrong. been singing the song my dada whispered, that mos materialized in his song 'umi says': tomorrow may never come, for you n me, this life is not promised, tomorrow may never show up, for me n u this life is not promised. my umi says, shine your light on the world, shine your light for the world to see.

shine your Light, the inner one, the one beyond business cards and brand new levis n shell-top addidas. shine your Light beyond the mirror u correct your smile in, brush back your cheeks and adjust your hair in. shine beyond impressing me n him n her.

shine in your prostration to Work. work, afterall, as the prophet of islam reminds us, is worship. work to make your dream happen. make it happen while u r here in the big yard. snap out of your rut. u r in the outside realm if u r reading this. u r not in a 4x5 cell. do something. work like u mean it, n keep at it. work n be Quiet. Quietness, as the prophets remind us, is the surest sign.

once u do, once u get into the rhythm n work with Purpose, knowing that u have time n space in a way u would not in a cage, write someone in prison.

even if the system is unforgiving, u can b. 

alteratives: herbs that stream through

alteratives are herbs that clear stagnancy in the liquid/blood of the the body. for this reason they are known as blood purifiers. according to michael tierra, in the book, way of herbs, alteratives eliminate toxins and help to assimilate nutrients. according to rosalee de la foret of herb mentor, the effect of an alterative can be likened to a fresh cool brook. what the brook is clearing is a stagnant pond/swamp/build up of water, that is stagnant and hot. the alterative is cooling and runs to clear the heat and drain the damping. the damping term is how the issue alteratives clear, is addressed in tcm.

the stagnancy blood/liquid is real clear to any one who has been to the cities of india. you may be walking and suddenly be smacked with a whiff of nastiness that immediately pulls at your bowels and makes you want to vomit your guts out. you look around and wonder: where the hell is that stink coming from?

right below your feet, you notice the slanted slabs of concrete, at some points missing. as you hop over one, you see it: the source of stench: a damp, hot, stagnant pool of nastiness. this is the water the flows down the sinks and drains into the nonworking sewage system of india. when the monsoons come, this stagnant liquid is drained into the rivers and oceans - is that a good thing?

for us, walking, moving beings, the stagnancy gets secreted through our skin, excreted through our anus, drained through our thing things.

according to tierra, the kind of alterative we take will depend on the specific issue, whether it's one of assmiliating nutrients or draining blockage. in most cases i would imagine that it has to be both, as stagnancy, prevents vital nutrients from reaching their destination. 'hence red clover is used to treat cancer because of its effects on protein assimilation; echinacea is used to neutralize acid conditions in the blood associated with a stagnation of lymphatic fluids; cascara sagrada is used when a laxative is required..." (p.32). 

the animal on your side

sarah tells me that she absorbed some of my energy while doing a massage on me yesterday. my mind was heavy and she felt it. a few hours after, she felt lethargic, melancholy, grey like the rain today.

sarah does swedish massage. her love for massage is clearer than any word she could use to describe it. as much as my mind was racing, i couldn't help but be pleasantly surprised over and over by her seamless technique, subtle and extraordinary. her fingers gently threaded through my spine, reinforcing my rooting in the world beyond cities of clocks, banks, cops and robbers.

we may have had a transference of energy, my weight was lightened by her meditation and vice versa.

today she revealed the gravity that i gave her, that she dragged through her work day with. she told me to troubleshoot with me, to share the process of letting go. a reiki master that she has received treatment from uses an imaginary animal to let go.

the reiki master has a wolf by his feet. while the master is conducting the energy work, he is absorbing energy. and when the session is over, he lets the wolf take it and run and release it, where it does.

may sound weird, crazy, silly, but it made a lot of sense to me. we need techniques to balance, to tap into life beyond our limited scope of understanding. 

the pyramids

been watching this documentary. been rewinding n making sure i heard what i heard. the pyramids, i learned in elementary school n since, were tombs for the pharoahs. i just gulped it up. was cool with that information. never really interrogated it, like many who swallow nightly news from the mythmakers.

the above documentary is saying that the pyramids being a house for a coffin is implausible. they are saying that many of the pyramids don't even have any tombs. they are also saying that the pyramids are older than what we have been taught. that they were structures that were built on top of existing structures.

the pyramids align with certain constellations, and in turn frequencies, which were tapped into by healers for vibrational (music) therapy. before the majority of the actual pyramids were built, the pre-existing structures were observation decks. deep. got to look into this more. 

montreal aka mon'royal

its french fly out here. beautiful streets with beautiful people, with beautiful tree lined blocks with a beautiful laid back pace, with a beautiful mount royal.

montreal is a heaven for writers. mad cafes, mad benches, mad parks.

montreal can be medicine for the artist, the 9-5'er, the unemployed - caught up in the left lane of uber-get money culture. those who desires a break from america, but can't afford to get out. montreal is a few hours from ny, philly, bmore, d.c., beantown.

ayurveda: balancing being

being and nothingness, the contemplation by jean paul sartre, examines the existential quagmire of human existence in the modern. in ayurveda, this type of interrogation is part of the human pursuit, and suitable for you, if you are kapha, overly grounded in routine, and afraid to seek. but, depending. you may already be suffering from nihilism, with frequent bouts of depression and sartre's writings may only spiral you further in your abyss. in that case, read inspirational writings from rumi, who also treads on the question of being, and strives towards nothingness, from the greatest pillar of islam - humility -  diminishing ego to align with the One. all praise is due.

ayurveda delves us into this question of being, by embracing you as you and not tom, carlos, or ali. what you read, eat, drink and how and when and with who, all have to do with your prakriti and imbalance, vikriti. what/who will balance you? how?

so, yeah, there's astrological matchmaking, and the greater layer to that is constitutional matchmaking. back in the day, n probably in many villages still, the ayurvedic vaidiya (medicine man) was at once also a jyotish (astrologer) n from the common ancestry of vedas, a yogi as well. so, by knowing your prakriti and vikriti, by way of a medicine man, you can also get a sense (in addition to diet, lifestyle, etc), what kind of dude/chick, would be right for you. 

you are what eat

"they say you are what you eat so i strive to eat healthy..." - dead prez

in a common n kanye collab titled, "food", the source of diet is getting paid, so, one can "eat".
often times, in babylon living, the strive to get paid, make rent on time, means sliding in, just barely, like a baseball player on 1st base, looking to slide into second, before he is thrown out by the blazing hand of the catcher. we grab n go. a burger here, fries and some coke there. if you're like me, u r eating almonds n sipping yogurt drinks all day. a grab n go approach. unhealthy.

according to ayurveda we eat according to our constitution, our prakriti, what element is predominant in us. the strive is always towards balance. 

stung again and again

 so they did it again. this time it was the bees in the navy yard, the ones on top of building 292. understandably. they knew what was up. they knew there was a campaign of kidnap and decimate.

as part of a study on verroa mites and hive culture, the university of maryland has chosen 100 hive sites in the country. the bk navy yard is one of them n since i'm back on board, i participated. participation requires collecting a sample of 100-300 bees per hive. we have 12 or more hives up there.

it was sun-beaming when i got to the rooftop at 10am. n the sun baked us when linn went over veroa mite culture and what to do about it. we went through a hive with two supers, one medium and two small deeps.i hadn't worked up there since last fall.

i noticed that there was looseleaf between one deep and another. dude next to me, a soft-spoken long island cat, explained to me that during a previous week, they'd incorporated the deep from one hive with the deep from another and so that they didn't wild out on each other and instead grew accustomed to one another, the looseleafs were placed as barriers. by the time they ate through the paper, they'd be at peace. or something like that.

there were some frames that were dripping with honey and others that were a bit sparse. linn mentioned something about maintaining a temperature. bees, she said, do better in a busy environment than a not so busy one. part of what contributes to buzzzzy is cells being drawn out with capped brood. this means more babies, which means more workers.

a hive full of honey frames isn't a good sign, since this may lead to the children of men scenario. we may be doing great things with the world and all, but if there's no one to carry it forward, then it's suicide.

we mixed up the empty frames with the busy ones, the way we did last week. except last week, when i was with olivia and kristen, we cut out the frames for honey and put the foundationless frames next to the ones with foundation. hopefully the bees will draw out the comb. we'll find out next week. the combs on these frames were plastic and as Tim mentioned last year, bees don't like plastic. who does?

so we found some verroa mites. dude from l.i pointed one out on the body of this drone. drones tend to be more susceptible to the mites since they got big butts and are just big and easy to target, like fat people.

the test involved using a scooper, that looked like one of those small metal measuring devices. one of the apprentices, who was lanky with circle glasses from the 19th century and looked like he was brought out of an hg wells book, held up a frame. l.i. dude scooped down with the scooper, and poured them into a funnel which he held over a small bottle full of rubbing alcohol. the bees died on contact. sad. cruel. for the sake of science. for the sake of their own benefit. yeah? idk how i feel about it yet, but i wanted to try, since it was new and all.

me and l.i. dude paired up, took turns going through the frames in the deep and scooping and dropping. the bees were buzzing something crazy after a while. the sun hid in thick clouds and a breeze like Jason or Freddy ran through us. and so did the bees. got stung four times, on three different efforts. thing is, unlike last week, i approached them with mad humility, like - peace god. but they weren't trying to hear it. they knew the deal. the deal was death.

i was real calm with it, stood still, moved slow. but it didn't help. they attacked anyway. guess they figured it was better dying in battle than being drowned without a fight.

got a hand like popeyes today and my next step is to apply ayurveda on it. word.

infusion 1:32

infusion: soaking plant material in any menstrum (liquid - solvent - substance that dissolves another).

kept it simple. a simple. one herb infusion. peppermint. 1:32, 1 part to 32. 1 oz herbs looks massive compare to 1 oz water.

dropped close to an o z of dried mint flakes in the mason jar. poured scorching water, put a spoon in there to absorb the heat for a little bit, smelled it a little bit, like i was sniffing roses.

took out the spoon and screwed the lid and prayed on it by way of the music of eid-ul-fitr dikr: allahuakbar, allahuakbar, allahuakbar, wa ala illah illala...

after dina charya this morning, or perhaps as an addition to it, opened the mason jar, sifted out the flakes using mesh, squeezed them tightly so every drop of medicine would drip, more drip then herbal capsules that use hardly a fraction of the amount of herbs in the infusion, leaving all the work for your body to do - cellular deconstruction, deciphering...

maybe work is not a bad thing. maybe giving our body tasks is good, so that it remains the genius it was born as. the divinity we are gets lost in technology.

sipped on the simple like lemonade, a summertime drink in the summer of Quiet. quietness is the surest sign.

all praise is due...

in conclusion of one of the greatest prescriptions for physical, mental, spiritual cleanse: 

الله أكبر الله أكبر الله أكبر لا إله إلا الله الله أكبر الله أكبر ولله الحمد
الله أكبر الله أكبر الله أكبر لا إله إلا الله الله أكبر الله أكبر ولله الحمد
الله أكبر الله أكبر الله أكبر لا إله إلا الله الله أكبر الله أكبر ولله الحمد
الله أكبر كبيرا والحمد لله كثيرا وسبحان الله بكرة وأصيلا
لا إله الا الله وحده صدق وعده ونصر عبده وأعز جنده وهزم الأحزاب وحده
لا إله إلا الله ولا نعبد إلا إياه مخلصين له الدين ولو كره الكافرون
اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آل سيدنا محمد وعى أصحاب سيدنا محمد وعلى أنصار سيدنا محمد وعلى أزواج سيدنا محمد وعلى ذرية سيدنا محمد وسلم تسليما كثيرا

swollen

deep. the stings from yesterday ballooned today. my ring finger looks like a frankfutter and my right calf, like it has an extra muscle growth.

got swole. big headed. ego flying like icarus when i was going through the hive yesterday, from frame to frame,like i was back in the navy yard, last year - studying, watching, working with the 18 hives we had. but time, distance, lack of practice suggests pause - slow down, otherwise...

the stings were initially painful, but the pain eventually subsided. i was surprised. was even thinking, that wasn't too bad. and then i wake up this morning, and frankfutters.

why did that happen? what's in the bee venom? how does interact with our body? 

back with the bees

went down to the gowanus sewagecanal, by the salt mines, where some young folk r recreating space, composting and purifying the water. a lot of them are architect students in landscaping or recent grads. good for them. they r also hosting a couple beehives.

olivia n kim r repsonsible for the hives. they were recruited by the gowanus kids, n have been caring for the bees since may. i met olivia n kim last year, in march, when we started our 6 month internship on keeping bees, with master beekeeper tim o'neil.

tim's a dope dude, tall and doofy in a cute-cool midwest way. u could tell he spent a lot of time with bees growing up and still does. he's real passionate about them and goes into tangents on tangents that make you bust out a notebook and scrawl like he was sharing recipes on human behavior.

bee behavior is wild, because its the opposite of the babylon human.

unlike the 'do-me', 'me-myself-n-i' culture here, the bees r like india indians. there's mad of them. thousands spilling out their 6 frame flat of three stories. and they r working harder than men pulling carts like ox in bangladesh.

olivia invited me, like a vet inviting his bud to go shoot in the range. i threw on some shorts and a tee and met olivia and kim at the redeveloping toxic site. they were both in suits, like astronaughts, discovering outter space. i since i was a bit exposed, i'd figured i would just watch ease into things, afterall, i was part of the team now. but the more i saw the hum drum music of the bees, the more i was drawn in. olivia noticed it, and handed me her suit, going off to cut up a frame of honey into a bucket.

i got stung twice, while observing and replacing frames. then a third time when we were leaving. there was a patch of honey on my calves and a bee was dipping in. it died for sweetness. again, i was wearing shorts and decided to cut up a couple of the frames that were thick and dripping with the honey of the bees. this was cool, but i made the mistake of neatly cutting an entire frame along the edges. before i could slide it in, the frame fell and broke in half, one part of which i caught. that part splattered all over my legs.

so what i learned was that i should cut the honey frames in half, instead of in full. but the deeper lesson was that i was relearning the bees, having been away from them since september or october of last year.

reconnecting takes calm, humbleness, meditation. i was going through the frames too fast, not pausing enough to watch them, give them the reverence they deserve, the breath of Oneness that joins Us together.

i was audience-conscious: didn't want my fellow beekeepers to think i forgot, that i slipped. i noticed this in meta thoughts, when i thought about my fasting, of aligning with the One, and asked kim about festooning and other terms i forgot.

by the end of the session i was pinned with lessons for pause. all praise is due...

bzzzzzzack in the building!

brooklyn we back on the map!!!

after 6 months of being away, in india, i'm back. 

part of me wanted to stay more. not just for a day or two but for another 6 months, maybe another year or three. india holds a special place in my heart. it is the name of the land my father and grandmamas and grandpapas were born, raised and shaped in/by.

i was cut by a similar cloth, here in new york and being back brings the promises of continuing to build on ancient medicine. diasporas upon diasporas of traditions co-exist here and the opportunity to share and grow rich in knowledge is immense. 

already, i will be continuing to work with bees, both at the navy yard and with my friend olivia. after doing a six month apprenticeship with Tim Oneil last year, my longing to be around bees has been buzzing in the back of my head. just like with the ayurveda courses, none of the two courses i took with bees could've prepared me from actually hanging with them. 

we have a bunch of two hives in the gowanus park, that we'll be watching over. i met this elder who i've been real excited about. he does bee sting therapy and i'll be meeting with him once or twice a week to get deeper in my understanding of bees, therapies and wondering of how one system connects with another. for instance, i wonder how bee sting therapy connects or can connect with marma points. 

i'm also just beginning a western herbalism course to complement the dravayaguna-ayurvedic system of herbology. part of the challenge with practicing ayurveda outside of india is that many of the herbs/plants from there are not found here. but the great thing is that there are plants here with similar properties that can be used in place. 

fame, my acupuncturist friend, has been kind enough to welcome me into her practice, to enrich my knowledge of herbs. what's cool about is that she's trained in traditional chinese medicine and understands, interacts with herbs from this perspective. it'll be interesting to see how ayurveda and chinese medicine correspond.