the sheik of the naqshabandi order, in offering medicine to counter depression, pulled on his waist length snowy beard and prescribed the following (if u r free): visit someone in prison.
i'm chanting the 99 names of ALLAH. i am in the outside realm. the 'big yard' as my boy who did a 4 year bid once told me.
not in prison. not locked up like my cousin. not locked up like a friend who was recaptured again recently, after spending close to half of his 33 years behind bars. not locked up like the 2.5 million here. not upstate rotting, 5 8 12 hours from family, from home.
if i can't get a job with experience, a degree, n no record, what must it b like to have a record?
this past month, every single job i've applied for, asked if i had ever been arrested, for what, when, why. asked if i was telling the truth, n if i wasn't, their background check would tell 'em anyway. it asked this of my man after he got out the penentiary in january. he tried filling out job app after job app, enroll in program after program for the formerly incarcerated. nothing. rent due in a few weeks, in a few days. yesterday. eviction letter. what to do?
talking to myself like my brothers homie who's been in n out of institution. she got mentally broken n was jesus christing like she were on a crucifix asking/praying the rest of us be forgiven.
i hope i'm forgiven for being silent. for moving with bars in front of my face. talking to myself n looking away from the steel-toed cops, like i did something wrong. been singing the song my dada whispered, that mos materialized in his song 'umi says': tomorrow may never come, for you n me, this life is not promised, tomorrow may never show up, for me n u this life is not promised. my umi says, shine your light on the world, shine your light for the world to see.
shine your Light, the inner one, the one beyond business cards and brand new levis n shell-top addidas. shine your Light beyond the mirror u correct your smile in, brush back your cheeks and adjust your hair in. shine beyond impressing me n him n her.
shine in your prostration to Work. work, afterall, as the prophet of islam reminds us, is worship. work to make your dream happen. make it happen while u r here in the big yard. snap out of your rut. u r in the outside realm if u r reading this. u r not in a 4x5 cell. do something. work like u mean it, n keep at it. work n be Quiet. Quietness, as the prophets remind us, is the surest sign.
once u do, once u get into the rhythm n work with Purpose, knowing that u have time n space in a way u would not in a cage, write someone in prison.
even if the system is unforgiving, u can b.
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