99 names: al Qudus iv - the Purest iv

during my meditation on pure today, after bowing down, i realized that skyscrapers and turntables, and backward hats on words are real to some, to many, to most, and has been to me for most of my life, even though Self knew better...

pure is to understand that there is no convincing, that we all have to come to our own conclusions on truth on our own, and that, that's okay.

you can love someone and not be in a relationship with them. you could even crush, have some butterflies, and watch them fly off like fairies in the middle of a dream on the hammock in the forest. 

crush and butterflies don't have to mean a relationship, don't have to mean two years later and still hoping that she'll change, that he'll pay more attention, that her words that contradict her actions will restitch into pashmina, that his rage, negligence, abuse shows how much he cares...

pure is to love from the math of truth.

and the truth is, loving yourself.

i realized that i have to love myself to be pure.

and as drawn as i am to spirit talk and those on the path, i could only love from a place of love, from loving myself, and only love those who love themselves, that like them, i have to be  strong enough to distinguish between love and moments of High. 

to be pure, in the path of surrender is synonymous with cleanliness.

before bowing down on the rug of mountain, feet rooted in soil, the surrender must wash in a science, the outside, must find a quiet place free of noise and chaos, a place where there is a peace of body and mind.

before the surrenderer can place his/her hands in beggar position, palms up head down, to beg the Essence for Guidance, there has to be a cleanse from head to toe, from inside to deeper inside, proximal to distal.

go inside. when your heart beats too rapidly, go inside and learn to tell the difference between a feeling and truth.

shhhh. only Quiet will get you to Pure.

Quddus is the womb of the soul.