auzubillahe minash shaitauner rajeem, bismillah hirahma niraheeem...
al Quddus. the pure, chaste, virgin from the place of bramcharya, from the place of Knowing the senses lie, that they are the weakness of adam biting the apple.
we are stronger than flesh and popeye's crisps.
i embody impure.
most times i am weak. most times i crawl into the 7 train, so far below the crowd, that i am as noticeable as the microbes that horizontally replicate. i stare through blemished windows and imagine reincarnation into a slick new york oracle from om magazine, teaching yoga classes and bagging chicks, like dude from a bikram class boasted about in the locker-room.
i imagine rebirth and get anxious, get hamlet - to sleep, perchance to dream and in that dream...escape the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
most times i am as pure as fake plastic trees lamented by radio heads. i am as pure as the packaging of yoga mats and t-shirts advertising natural, green, vegan-friendly.
most times i am wondering what i have to offer, and what happened to my 19 year old mother and my young revolutionary father.
pure is me finally realizing that i have issues that i need to deal with, that these issues are contaminants that keep me in an ostritch walk, with my head dragging through asphalt.
pure is knowing that i have very little control over the world, and that the point is not control, and that i could only love and receive love and be okay with being utterly in love and walking away from it because there is no convincing, because there is no changing anyone, because love is more than a
feeling and a hope, more than a dollar and a dream.
pure is to accept the truth in all without deluding into that truth, without in the process attempting to alter that truth to one that fits your ideal.
pure is to understand love is for all, but the sanctity of sacred sharing, of bodies and homes merged, is an act of al Quddus, and that this sacred union should be reserved only for divine intervention, only from a purely aligned truth.
pure is peace, true harmony, a shared space with spirit, far from the excitement of pat benatar's love is a battlefield, of h/bollywood/indie film definitions of love that involve the formula of chase and arguments and cheating and explosive, breath-taking chemistry in break ups to make ups.
pure is me being aligned with Truth enough to be strong from a place where Essence meets this body, to look for the barriers that keep me from loving others, and to love from a place of divine mathematics, from knowing the difference between the right numbers and wrong...
all praise is due. all praise is always due. all praise will always be due to al Qudus.
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