ramadhan 2015: day iv: which wolf will you feed?

in the name of the Essence, in the name of You. prayers for you. prayers for your family, for your struggle. prayers for the struggle. all praise is due for the struggle, keeps us humble, on the move, aspiring...

remember your dreams are your only schemes, so keep on reaching...(curtis mayfield)

the lesson for day iv, was energy, was what we choose to give energy to. that, is what i choose to give energy to. 

found myself surfing the net, surfing haphazardly, randomly, in hyperspeed - went from checking out short films, to reading up on this ancient yogic text that ashtanga is based on, to listening to qur'an to youtubing arthritis...whoa...like whoa...slow down homie...

read this native american (without a reference to a specific nation/tribe) anecdotal lesson in this book i'm reading on the brain. it's an anecdote i've come across before. 

a boy queries his grandpa about this dream he had. in the dream the boy sees two wolves. one wolf is full of violence and lust and greed. the other wolf is full of compassion, and humility, and kindness. 

which wolf will dominate? the boy asks.

whichever wolf you choose to feed, the grandpa responds. 

deep. truth. you become what you put life energy into. 

if i'm laying around surfing the net, reading up on herbalism and wikipedia's on various celebrities, and reading how to this and how to that, then i give energy to not doing, to just thinking and watching and reading about it. i give energy to being a voyeur. 

if i spend time with the herbs, making teas, tinctures, soups, poultices, liniments, oils, using them in massage and observing the impacts on myself and others, i am being/giving energy to medicine man, hakeem. i am doing about it.

my folks and i been looking at houses in real estate mags and online for the past 20. houses we were looking at 20 years ago, quadrupled in price. we even went out and checked a few out. we gave energy to pipe-dreaming, to being careful, so cautious that we don't move, that we avoid falling, taking risks, and being okay with outcomes, to learning from the doing. 

when i am spending my time in front of a mirror for an hour a day, like i used to another lifetime ago, checking out my gear and how fly i look in it, then i give energy to being a poser, to being halloween, a costume for the great theatre of babylon. 

what i give energy to that i feel good about is asana practice, is writing, is prayer, is walks, is education, hanging with family and friends.

 

all these areas could be delved much deeper. i've had a tendency of flattening out at mediocrity, like as soon as i learned to walk, after the crawl stage, i was cool. stopped working on my walk. now  i'm laterally deviated like a ballerina, and for any ballerina's out there, ballet training makes yoga a deep challenge.

if your spending time snacking all the time, then you are feeding the wolf that then grows addicted to snacking. if you are cussing all the time, then you are feeding the wolf that cusses and disrespects. 

which wolf do you want to feed? 

i want to feed the wolf that is fearless in Purposeful doing, that is the evergrowing hakeem, always pushing limits in this path, by growing deeper in this path, by being fearless and putting myself out there, and taking risks, and being vulnerable, and allowing myself to fall, and keep on reaching...