99 names: 15: al Qahar: the Subduer

"subdue - to overcome, quieten, or bring under control (a feeling or person); bring (a country or people) under control by force" as defined by google.

as defined by this man, 
on a path of ego-eclipse, 
of isa and musa 
(the most recurring figures in the Qur'an 
- the last chapter of a Supreme book), 
of the prophet muhammad 
- peace & blessings be upon him 
for accomplishing the greatest goal of all 
- ego-death
(somehow he managed to renounce the offer to be a king, 
the position of being a god that could forgive others sins, 
the desire by some of his followers to make him a guru-deity 
whose picture should be hung on every wall 
- yet - 
no pictures, no race, no trace 
other than this path to Surrender (islam) 
- prayer, 
fasting, 
witnessing la illaha illala, 
partaking in community 
through bowing and eschewing hoarding, 
partaking in a pilgrimage 
to be one with all man, 
and in the process 
replicate the atom of life
...all praise is due indeed...) 
....................................to subdue in the context of Surrender, means to understand ALLAHoo-Akbar - ALLAH - the ONE, the ONE-ness (the sum total of all life - plant, animal, rock, planet, space, fire, time, and space) - is greater than this mere moment you are ecstatic, aroused, overwhelmed, depressed, enraged, enthralled....by...

........ALLAH is Greater than the equations that got you the right resume to get the right job, greater than the material that wraps your organs and gives you skin privileges or denigrates you gives you an air of cool, or does neither...greater than your 13-syllable jargon that you worked hard to memorize, in grad school, and parrot, or the slanguage you adorn like the $300 gucci hat you cock to the side...greater than .38 the policeman had to my head and never made the news...greater than my years of unemployment and lint-rich pockets and the jobs that made me suddenly alluring to groupie love...Greater....

...this Greatness...for the meditator, for those who think through Quiet, is humility, is to bow, is to be amazed at the Amazing, and when this is impossible...

.......when ego is so pumped with helium and outfits and degrees and trophies and awards, and over-night guests, and gas from the words and applause of the men and women of the material world who makes your head bigger than jupiter...then subdued......shhhhhhhhh'd...

.................cause now 25 and fly became 35 and oh no...mid age is right around the corner, and 19 and limelight became an addiction to lights, camera, action and applause 20, 30, 40 years later...suddenly, wrinkles, greys, tightness, pain...

......subdued in the path of Surrender is the inevitable that defeats ego...what all wo/men of the material world must face - death...

...i say the wo/men of the material world because "die before you die"...the words of the prophet - subdue your senses and become infinite...

...look up any enlightened being whose words have become inscribed in the hearts of man - gautama budhha, arjuna, laozi, zarusthra, moses, jesus, rumi - conquer your senses for they lie...

...it is written in this Supreme Book of ALLAH - in the yellow emperor and atharveda (of the rg veda) - classical medicine texts of chinese and indian medicine - the senses lie and are the primary avenue to dis-ease...

...os if you are feeling the words of the prophet feel to strict for you, to restricting, to engrossed in responsibility, unfortunately you'll keep hitting this message until you find new-age gurus who alleviate your sense of guilt, who affirm your individualism, your cling to attachments and unaccountability and irresponsibility, and you can say yeah, that's what i'm talking about...and that's the issue King/Queen...you keep talking...shhhhh....

.....d'angelo reiterated this in his mediation, 'devil's pie' - all a lie, all a lie, slice of the devils pie...

...thing is you pray, you go to church or the mosque or temple once in a while...yet and still you are engulfed by the senses, by your desire for certain foods; you salivate at hip to waist ratios of shorties in fat-booty pants, you love the feeling of being sweated, falling in love, falling in lust, over-nighting, some sip sip, some puff puff...

...subdue homie...don't be a hardrock when you really are a gem (-lauyrn hill)

99 names: 14: Al Ghaffar ii: The Great Forgiver ii

all praise is due to ALLAH, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful...

i bear witness that i am here and gone...was here yesterday but that's past...few words ago was past...was was...and is, is was...

...surrendered mySelf after the convo with dude at bus stop yesterday who told me he got evicted, he said it was crazy but he was blessed, because he knew ALLAH was with him; yeah i said, started dropping knowledge like i knew, started saying how we gotta focus on what we do have, and count our blessings, started saying how this is brief, started flapping my lips like an industrial fan outside the courtroom...right before the hearing...regurgitating truths just to make myself get out of the fear of disrepair, of being close to a closed gate...

...after i got on the bus, after i felined to the back seats, and sat amped like a king tut, after i took out the bosnian prayer beads given me by my elder ralph digia (r.i.p), felt myself deteriorate...noticed that preacher man posturing was just that posturing...kept me from getting deeper with homie, kept me from listening with dna, with the music of One...

...stood like iblis, with each preacher word...forgot to bow...

...defaulted on what felt good, on pretending to know...never been homeless, so i don't know...

...defaulted on what helped me get through in past - others giving me a pep talk, telling me how there was more to it then this...hardly ever got that, always been independent...head-stand on my heart like an acrobat, keep it covered...keep it pushing...but wanted to hear the words, want the rest assure...

...al Ghaffar Knows, has Always...this is brief, this is a Gift, an opportunity to escape the prison of human experience into the Soul...

...told the brother, cause i wanted to be told...

...get told from one-who-Knows, got it from nee and ro and nani...got it from smack...from chino, and special k, and fish...get it like diamonds and pearls from ammu and abbu...

...rich...richer than the 1% that run 3 billion...richer than the 30% wanksta-millionaires, hundred-thousand aires, with stocks and bonds on bp oil and drones and weapons for the sauds to commit fratricide on yemeni's choked in poverty...

...never was poor...just thought i was...luxurious...

al Ghaffar reminds me that to forgive requires humility, to let loose ego, to listen, to shed tears and release, to be kind and loving and trust in Essence, in One-ness, in the infinity of the ephemeral by worship, by bowing down, by moving with the sun and the moon, without shame of material lacking, but radiance of eternity...no shame in Knowing...shame in the ego of knowledge though...

...information trap...watch-out...every so often i think i'll know more if i keep scavenging pub med and google scholar...forget to bow during these times...forget that people are more important than texts and that texts don't make You, humility and worship does...

...r.i.p. to 5th floor aunty...for the kindness and love she always showed...her Light reminds me to continue walking this darkness...this tunnel i've constructed cause i believed in you...and i knew you were lying, and the lies felt so good...the kind bars and chocolate and gluten free lasagna taste so good, and she looks so fine, and those kicks are so spanking, and that ride is so suave...

...bought it, forgot...forgive me...counting these beads...al Ghaffar, al Ghaffar, al Ghaffar...1...33...66...turn the bend...on my way back to You...99...

full moon jan 2016

first full moon of this new sun cycle and it's a state of emergency....

snow purrs like cats from the catwomen's house off 21st. she has 100's the rumor went back in the days of junior high...

...snow like white christmas in nordic fairly tales accessible through walking closets in apartments the size of closets, when books become windows to the universe, 10000 leagues under the sea...

state of emergency...11 states from georgia, up...

...ny shut down King & Queen told me earlier, didn't you hear? 
nah
people in bangladesh heard.
shut the noise pollution...no media for me

state of emergency...black snow in iraq, syria, palestine, afghanistan, pakistan, somalia...grenades like big globs of snow dipped in war, coming from skywalkers remote controlled by gamers in the man's house...a trickster...

...black snow on black folk, blackened by sumprematicologistics of mindsets trapped in skin and fear - the cracker (one who cracks a whip) mentality...

...trickster man is a chomelean being in the bodies of white, brown, black, yellow, red folk...look past the strut of words and bend of skin...i see you...

...keep it pushing with Love...this sun cycle is isa and muhammad and musa, stepping like universe, like trendless shawls as ancient as the wool of soof...

...all praise is due...this month...so far...isa words when i see you...cause i see me...and warmth Queen, love King...cause You already Know...

...asif universe Ullah...asif in the universe of Essence...a book on the shelf of mount hood in oregon, in the rain forest west of san juan in p.r., written on the lines of the bengal tiger in the sundarbaon, on the walls of blood vessels in the embryo, at moment of dna inscription in the plantain plants that make medicine through bronx asphalt...all praise is due...

...this full moon, i'm letting go of the hat that hides me...let shine the crown chakra that has shed its mane of ego...this full moon...letting go of doing things the same...so difference...so going beyond comfort...doing it all different...switch the container of who i've come to believe this body is based on a past...

storyline is...meditating with me, and with you, cause its become an aspiration and not a presence...calling you, because i text, hide behind the norm...sitting in the front of the class, cause i've been lurking in the back, complimenting you, cause your beauty, your shine, stays in my head, and you may want to hear it, just as i do...this full moon letting go of the rote of same old same old based on a script i've come to identify with through habituation...letting go by doing it different, by rewriting based on the gospel of al Khaliq...all praise is due...

..btw, you're stunning, and i think you're fly, and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life, and some of what you say that's hurtful is less about who you are, and you are more than these words, and ideas, and next round of oregon graperoot tea is on me...

99 names: 14: Al Ghaffar: The Great Forgiver

ALLAH forgive me...

lord forgive them for they know not....jesus, as played by brian deacon, said, in the movie on jesus during easter weekend that my fam and i would watch every year, along with mary poppins and wizard of oz, back in the day of fat shoelaces and crews with beatdowns for punks like my self who were bold enough to not only be poor but look poor.

ny poor wore hundred dollar basketball kicks and star studded jerseys and official starter hats...official...i knew not...

friends can be forgiving of your material shortcomings...what????....selector!!!!.....rewind!!!!...does this even make any sense? forgiving of material...deep.........god-complex...

...lost your God, god...

in the name of the Most Forgiving, i ask for forgiveness for my mitochondria have been hearing the bombs and bullets and my ears been closing shut.

Al Ghafar, please forgive me for knowing of the police shootings (r.i.p laquan mcdonald), of the entrapments (free the fort-dix five), of the framed and 25-lifers, kicked into solitary confinement 23.5 hours a day 365...

...they are playing with mathematics ALLAH...

...babylon science extracts leucine from gmo'd soy, and frankensteins e-641, a flavor enhancer...numbers...

...i'm messing with babylonmatics when i'm dealing with the info of your credentials, your degrees, your findings based on babylon criteria...degrees you have, celebrities you know, people who smack your hand (out of fear)...

...Al Ghafar, the other day i looked at the ayurveda professor from india and feared her and revered her because of all the credentials she mentioned, and all the recognition she said she'd gotten, and i told myself i could never compare, and was beaten into a slouch, from which i watched her give her talk...

...i forgot la illahaillala...no one, but One...i forgot that i AM of You, that this is a moment, that my family adopted islam precisely because of a hindu caste system that so marginalized us that plates were broken over our heads if we accidentally ate out of another castes unwashed porecelain...

...i am from the caste of dalit, outcaste in the hindu caste system, and still, by way of the teachings of the guru muhammad, embrace the vedas and my spiritual past of yogis, many of whom came from a similar margin and thus walked into mountains and streets with nothing but a sheet and beggars bowl...all praise is due...

...from despised, discredited, derelict...to un touchable - can't touch This, dissolved in the Love of Supreme Mathematics - You, Al Ghafar - and i ask that you forgive those who cast us as dalits...

...forgive me for believing that i am of filth, of believing the storylines that my family has carried into this path of Surrender, of polluting it with our anxious faith in the fables of man that we are scum of the earth, we are generationally street sweepers...forgive me for believing this when i walk down the street and the sons and daughters of greek and italian immigrants chase us with bats, xenophobia and cuss words and phrases that paraphrase our history as repulsion. forgive them Al Ghaffar, for they were only regurgitating the examples of their mentors in mainstream media - fox, and abc, and mtv, and politicians saying stop the islamophobia and then giving exeuctive orders to drop bombs on innocents with the rational that they practice shariah (a word meaning laws).

...forgive them...You are the Most Forgiving...forgive me, as i am them...we are One...

...i depart from what is most important ALLAH, i seek forgiveness for failing to be compassionate when getting no responses from jobs, and when seeing others spend without a care, and when i meet women who lose interest when they learn of my careerlessness...

...forgive me, for i lose compassion and find gavels takeover my heart, beating dr. dre beats and eminem vitriolics...and then i'm strutting mobb deep -  i could see it inside your face, you're in the wrong place, cowards like you deserve to get your whole body laced up, with bullet holes and such...

...and such takes over my pout and scrunched facial expression, until i'm wearing a big mask of "what son?! say something!" like rikers, like tony montana.

...and then the sun, and the moon, and the constellations ALLAH. then the trees ALLAH. the Quietude of the forests of galaxies in the mojave and i am reminded, as i bow down, and surrender this monkey mind, that there is only You, that You give of Your Self, selflessly, that You shine on us, give us drizzles for trees that give us breath, for water that sustains us...and not one of these creations lose patience with me, nor compete with me for outdoing...they give, try their best...

...the pomegranate, whether pumped with genetic modifiers or growing in the jungles of chittagong, gives of itself, selflessly, stays on its orbit, regardless of the storms and floods...

...forgive me Al Ghaffar for every so often i fall into speeches, into the frequency of egos and personality cults, and forget that there is only You and my only Purpose in this manifestation is to be of service through worship in the universality of being...

...here is medicine...shhhhhhhhhhh...now....taste it now....

for this sun cycle...Lover - guides: gurus: one's who Know

study with the arif-ullah's, those who Know...seek them out...read their biographies if available, if they are no longer alive. walk the path they have carved through example, through the living...

this year, Love, Lover...this sun cycle, i walk in the art of healing of Self, through listening and doing. listening means non-attached hearing, understanding, compassion, witnessing of the sense of emotion - high or low - and letting go...

all praise is due...

...accept Real-ity, as it is, and do your best...

...to remain inspired, read biographies of those who know/knew. read the works of those who know, in their fiction, poetry, essays, treatises; spend time with those who Know...my brother, the poet/artist/harbinger of Truth, one who Knows, the selfless doer through transparency, honesty, humility; my poppa, the selfless writer/philosopher/activist; my momma the selfless chef, nourisher of communities, the master of discipline through rituals; my cuzzin d, the listener, affirmer, compassionate, engager; my cuzzin kaz, the writer/philosopher/activist; my cousin sharin, the master of resilience, determination, motivation...

what do you want to grow deeper in? who are those who Know?

look past the hollywood...look for those who may be in the harsh shadows of lights, camera, action...

focus on an area or two that is part of your Purpose, i.e. writing/arts, health/healing. build a list of those who Know in these areas...study them...imitate them...follow them around...buy them coffee...schedule a time to hang with them...

writing/arts - sylvia plath, pablo neruda, ngugi wa thiongo, rushdie, rohan mistry, sherman alexi, faulkner, simone de boueavir, morrison, baldwin, mukherjeee, rumi, dickinson, shakespeare, arundhati roy, jhumpa lahiri, hafiz, kazi nazrul islam, rabindranath tagore, marukami...klimt, van gogh, kurosawa, satyajit roy...suggestions?

health (spirit, mind, body) - prophet muhammad, jesus, prince arjuna, zarathustra, guru nanak, ibn sina, al-wali bin abd al-malik, al-Majusi, Ali ibn al-Abbas, imhotep, susruta, musa ibn maymun, zheng ji, paramahansa madhavdasji, krsnamachrya, iyengar, paramahansa yogananda, swami kuvalayananda, swami sivananda, dr. huda clarke, dr. fred bisci, dr. marion nestle, william cumming rose, dr. graham lusk, kino, tara stiles...

as a Lover, the arts are essential to the process of de-inhibiting...the arts are made available through tapping into Real...tap in by letting go...

...all praise is due...blessed sun-cycle...looking forward to this revolution...praying for peace and justice for ALL...