ALLAH forgive me...
lord forgive them for they know not....jesus, as played by brian deacon, said, in the movie on jesus during easter weekend that my fam and i would watch every year, along with mary poppins and wizard of oz, back in the day of fat shoelaces and crews with beatdowns for punks like my self who were bold enough to not only be poor but look poor.
ny poor wore hundred dollar basketball kicks and star studded jerseys and official starter hats...official...i knew not...
friends can be forgiving of your material shortcomings...what????....selector!!!!.....rewind!!!!...does this even make any sense? forgiving of material...deep.........god-complex...
...lost your God, god...
in the name of the Most Forgiving, i ask for forgiveness for my mitochondria have been hearing the bombs and bullets and my ears been closing shut.
Al Ghafar, please forgive me for knowing of the police shootings (r.i.p laquan mcdonald), of the entrapments (free the fort-dix five), of the framed and 25-lifers, kicked into solitary confinement 23.5 hours a day 365...
...they are playing with mathematics ALLAH...
...babylon science extracts leucine from gmo'd soy, and frankensteins e-641, a flavor enhancer...numbers...
...i'm messing with babylonmatics when i'm dealing with the info of your credentials, your degrees, your findings based on babylon criteria...degrees you have, celebrities you know, people who smack your hand (out of fear)...
...Al Ghafar, the other day i looked at the ayurveda professor from india and feared her and revered her because of all the credentials she mentioned, and all the recognition she said she'd gotten, and i told myself i could never compare, and was beaten into a slouch, from which i watched her give her talk...
...i forgot la illahaillala...no one, but One...i forgot that i AM of You, that this is a moment, that my family adopted islam precisely because of a hindu caste system that so marginalized us that plates were broken over our heads if we accidentally ate out of another castes unwashed porecelain...
...i am from the caste of dalit, outcaste in the hindu caste system, and still, by way of the teachings of the guru muhammad, embrace the vedas and my spiritual past of yogis, many of whom came from a similar margin and thus walked into mountains and streets with nothing but a sheet and beggars bowl...all praise is due...
...from despised, discredited, derelict...to un touchable - can't touch This, dissolved in the Love of Supreme Mathematics - You, Al Ghafar - and i ask that you forgive those who cast us as dalits...
...forgive me for believing that i am of filth, of believing the storylines that my family has carried into this path of Surrender, of polluting it with our anxious faith in the fables of man that we are scum of the earth, we are generationally street sweepers...forgive me for believing this when i walk down the street and the sons and daughters of greek and italian immigrants chase us with bats, xenophobia and cuss words and phrases that paraphrase our history as repulsion. forgive them Al Ghaffar, for they were only regurgitating the examples of their mentors in mainstream media - fox, and abc, and mtv, and politicians saying stop the islamophobia and then giving exeuctive orders to drop bombs on innocents with the rational that they practice shariah (a word meaning laws).
...forgive them...You are the Most Forgiving...forgive me, as i am them...we are One...
...i depart from what is most important ALLAH, i seek forgiveness for failing to be compassionate when getting no responses from jobs, and when seeing others spend without a care, and when i meet women who lose interest when they learn of my careerlessness...
...forgive me, for i lose compassion and find gavels takeover my heart, beating dr. dre beats and eminem vitriolics...and then i'm strutting mobb deep - i could see it inside your face, you're in the wrong place, cowards like you deserve to get your whole body laced up, with bullet holes and such...
...and such takes over my pout and scrunched facial expression, until i'm wearing a big mask of "what son?! say something!" like rikers, like tony montana.
...and then the sun, and the moon, and the constellations ALLAH. then the trees ALLAH. the Quietude of the forests of galaxies in the mojave and i am reminded, as i bow down, and surrender this monkey mind, that there is only You, that You give of Your Self, selflessly, that You shine on us, give us drizzles for trees that give us breath, for water that sustains us...and not one of these creations lose patience with me, nor compete with me for outdoing...they give, try their best...
...the pomegranate, whether pumped with genetic modifiers or growing in the jungles of chittagong, gives of itself, selflessly, stays on its orbit, regardless of the storms and floods...
...forgive me Al Ghaffar for every so often i fall into speeches, into the frequency of egos and personality cults, and forget that there is only You and my only Purpose in this manifestation is to be of service through worship in the universality of being...
...here is medicine...shhhhhhhhhhh...now....taste it now....
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