forgot about the sentence...about court...about you looking alarmed...about the knock on the door...about the badge and bullets i missed...forgot about the chance...forgot about the dna...about the genocide...about 1971...about famine...about too starved for sex or happy hour...forgot that i was still riding low, below the low-riders...forgot that the babylon i held a finger to before the judge was me...i was prosecuting me to a hundred thousand...i was plagued...forgot that the disease was spreading cause i held it at bay...forgot that Love was here because i was there...forgot that i could count on you to not count on you is two-sided...forgot to Love unconditionally, forgot that Love is unconditional...forgot to bond with those who Know, those who may appear like nothing special to you, and that you is me, and that it's me i critique when i lament on babylon because i wear it like a leper, like a spotted albino...i know you see it because you cross the street, because you stay clear from the cloud of dust i walk in...forgot that i was hiding, that true liberation requires coming to terms with those things that i wear like numbers of a barcode tattooed on my chest like palestinians held at checkpoints by holocaust touting zionists...i forgot that i was both the one who is sheeps clothing and the sheep...forgot to be...instead i've been talking jesus...instead i wake at 5:30 based on an alarm and a circumstance i reluctantly chose, forgot to market this, forgot to send this our to social media, forgot to care to do it, forgot to make money, been skating on a middle line, between ice that breaks and burns from speed on my left, and ice that sinks from the standstill on my right...forgot to risk, to get past the margins of safety to love you to love you to love you...forgot to move away from sanskaras that keep me imprinted on the nose and ears and tongue and skin and eyes...forgot...been feasting in the material, telling myself it's christmas, telling myself just this once like a meth-head, bass-head, pot-head, crack-head...just this once...and then yoga and meditation, and i swear...forgot to get married and have kids and that time was a space i had to go through and that it passed and i passed with it unless i sought answers in the pair...forgot...forgot to pay homage and seek and be proactive...
...and when i remembered, it was the aftermath, it was the fire, it was the burning, it was at the bottom of the ocean...without fully getting there, without letting myself sink...forgot to sink all the way because of you, because all i wanted was you, because all i wanted was the applause of an audience, so i wrote myself into a path and purpose and forgot it because you didn't show up...but then i forgot to care about you and stayed on path anyway...retreated from news and stories of the bad guys and good guys and the wars and the rapes and the pillages and jails and prisons and drugs and forgot cause i was studying and yet, all the time it was seeping into my cells, blocking energy production, keeping atp from creating energy and instead the production of a social lethargy led me into this screen typing words five people read 1/10th of before turning off, tuning off, switching channels, on to the next, i'm onto the next...
...forgot to leave fully...forgot to breathe deeper...forgot that we are all connected and that whether i am with you or you, i pray and meditate and tell you the same thing - i was born in bangladesh, my mother came here a few years into my existence in this body, which has already shed and grown, and shed, and now i am decades later in the same block, the same neighborhood, a stranger with ancestry and indigenous being the only anchors that keep me grounded in this world...with the only two people who make any sense being the two most humble, giving, loving, polite, passive, active, quiet, vibrant, self-less, spiritual, indigenous, intellectual, people i know - my parents...so i stay close and hope by osmosis...but then time, and space...and i stay inside a bubble, bowing in vinyasa's by a sense of neccessity...
meditating has been missing...pranayama has been missing...focus has been missing, declutter has been missing...
full moon...let go of clutter...focus on a single path...let go...one...be fearless in Love; Love is to give, is to be in alignment with sun moon planets galaxy...is to stay focused and breath...is to learn to be both of this world and more...of maintaining Quiet...pray for you...give to you...leave to learn...learn to let go and grow...learn to recreate this storyline because, otherwise, the realm of false takes over - sugar and cakes and lattes, and up-late movies, and a million ideas to do a million things.
choose...and focus...and love...and...and...stick to that which is Real by harnessing focusing energy on that which is by going deeper, by being transparent, by being honest, by learning to exist in this realm with the understanding that i Am more than this, and so are You...
...came out...coming out of the closet of retreat in self to share with you...to Love...to walk in the path of the Lover celebrated today by a fifth of the human world - isa, prophet isa...unconditional love that stemmed from being of and for the people...doing...isa was a doer...muhammad was a doer...moses was a doer...they did...they were not me of letters but of deed...
...shhhh....the speechless full moon....
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