2 days ago. full moon. bright belly, shining crazy calm in traffic on the bqe, watching, reminded to pause, no rush...there is nothing that important, and at once, urgent...stop the tanks and the bombs and the lies that your destruction doesn't exist; your promulgation of attempts to stop crazy rag-heads who are really 12 year olds standing with stones in front tanks with stars of david n red white n blue stripes, in front of their mothers grandmothers sisters, cause all the men are dead, cause you killed them...
urgent and at once i am on the bqe, not rushing to stop this, not running to put my body down like harriet tubman and gandhi and all the indigenous people in the world from standing rock to bengal to ireland to falastin, who continue to be decimated and all i hear about is how outraged the liberals around me are about a muslim-ban, but who cares about the drones obama n clintons struck in these nations, the embargoes they imposed, the strangulation that led to ancient peoples to be starved and holding beggars bowl...i see you...
full moon is a time of letting go for me...i have been silent...want to let go of this...i have been hidden...want to let go of this...i have been waiting for the day when things are just right...want to let go of this...these past few full moons have been in support of this end - to give freely, of myself, in the giving there is deep reward, there is a freedom, because, after-all, this is why we are here, on this planet, in this manifestation as being - to serve - to be in one with the One - so talk of cruelty is meaningless with meat and flesh derived products, as i could've just as easily been born a puma, a buffalo, a chicken, a salmon fish stuck in the cage of an over-populated farm and sold to cater to the tongue of healthy, those who eat healthy, those like me...without that connection, without linking to how that salmon is part of the One-ness...as is kale and spinach and celery - so eat light, eat whole, eat from sacred lands revered instead of cleared, desecrated for consumption...
...on thing at a time...my larger intention for this sun-cycle, 365, revolution...what is the revolution occurring...?
if i am going to be outside a space of employment, then i would like to treat my work, the Work, like employment....
...let go of clutter, of holding on to stuff, by getting to the heart of that which might be most important to me - my writings - threw out 21 journals from the past 20 years...a treasure cove of my life in pages - let go, read through some, meant something, now just archives - and with this anything is less important. things, like clothes and markers, and shades, and hats mean little. there are others who can use these things. give it away. let go. still cleansing. been collecting books and clothes to do just this. hoping maybe i could sell some of it so i could make a few dollars, pay for the cafe retreats i do daily...letting go of this allowed for space to be created
...let go of getting it right in front of others, of looking right, to get it right by being messy, by practicing handstand and letting myself fall, by being okay with the fall, by learning from the fall, being present with when it happened, instead of by trying to keep it hidden...
...let go of indecision, by being clear on my decision, in december's full moon. let go of the wish-washy, the vacillation between having a job that could sustain me, and doing my medicine-man thing on the side, vs, embracing fully this path. decided to embrace it fully. decided that i didn't want to practice this in a haphazard all over the place way...decided that i wasn't a massage therapist, or an herbalist, or a nutritionist, but a traditional medicine man - not an armchair medicine man, but one who practices, one who did the work, instead of telling others what to do...
...this brings me to now, from recollecting decisive path traditional medicine man in tradition of ayurveda-yoga-vibrational nutrition - from recollecting getting rid of appearances and sharing what i know, what i have to share - from letting go of the clutter, of that which keeps me bound to the past - by not creating space - from letting go of this hoarding, a little deeper, by giving....
...decisive path of medicine man who is transparent, gets messy even if it doesn't always appear great, but tries, clears space, by letting go, by giving away, be being giving from Inside, and now...
...this full moon i see clients, i have a clear end goal, that i work on with others, i actualize, by being seen, by being present, by being available, by taking the risks associated with being seen, by putting it out there that i am available, having clear ways how this will/can happen - having clear paths through my website...
this dude who has been successful in his business, in his writings said that it can't be the million people who read your posts, or the videos, or the books you put out, that is your goal, nor about getting yoruself out there...but the goal has to be the value you create...
what is the value i am offering, that i believe in whole heartedly, that i believe, based on my predeccessors, on the belief they forwarded, the social justice, the humanitarianism, the desire, the struggle for a better world, a deeper Way...
...detox to reset to elevate for a better you, a better community...because we are taking in toxins, we are in a state of toxicity, and we need to detoxify...
...so how do i convey this? through the work...do the healing work...do it with open arms, do it because people need it, not because you want to convince anyone of anything...do the work and it will work out...you spent too much time doing the studies the work, now is the time to give...to create clear lines in the giving...
...so this month...what i learn to do, is set goals in terms of my values...and see them through by community - value based goals that i manifest with community -
some goals - getting a place without rent; website with clear ends - modules to plug folk into that they could benefit from; deepen yoga practice through going deeper in asanas, deeper in hand stand and back bend and vinyasa and firefly practice n collaborating with those who can support this, deeper in meditation by taking classes, community sittings, a woman who is in path of wife by being in social environments...
setting goals aligned with values, putting it out there with co-conspirators of Purpose, and taking risks to actualize, through humility, and Love...
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