it was a trip to flee. to listen to the calling of a mojave line i heard in the desert driving 110 miles an hour with no other car to merge into, nor a shoulder to flip over. 40 degrees and rain made kingston into portland, and hudson into a seasonal affective disorder that deranged beaver and left me holding space in my palms like a glass bowl desperately looking for guidance or a witch to tell me something crazy that i need to do before...and that's the thing...in the absence of being in the noose of 9-5, 5-midnight, graveyard shifts, you have to dig your own path through the microwaves and sad of isolated hudsonites that are on the brink of suicide or mass killings or just plain meth and booze like gin and juice...i have neither and beaver tells me that he knows things, and i believe him, he tells me about planets he's traversed, and i nod...what is impossible in the Surrender to One?
that's just it too...the path is to focus, to have a clearing, to walk that clearing and keep macheting the jungle concrete out of the way, and walk. the walk is work. no quickies to handstands and press-ups - it's work. or maybe you choose complacency. maybe you choose to stand still and do nothing and wait on a couch for death, but then what was life worth without effort, without struggle, hence the centrality of struggle in the path of Surrender to ascension, to the spiral into coalescence...
this is what i learned...to aim High, real High, so High that i walk in the footsteps of isa n muhammad n musa...that i walk without beating my chest, but breathing the breath of Infinite and Knowing this, Knowing no one but One in All, then there is no scarcity, there is only wealth, only abundance, and in being so, give. let go of trying to grip, hold tight. allow the fall. get the meal you want not because it's expensive, nor because it will feed your sensory salivation, but because it is sattvic and grow you. give freely to your barrista's and cousins and strangers. give of your Self and it will be returned, even if it isn't, even if there is not return. give, becuase the One is Infinite, because you Know this. give in every way - smile, warmth, touch, Love, money, things, intangibles - Give...
that was the main takeaway, the lesson...give, and live...give because ALLAH is Infinite, as abu bakr told omar, and the other companions when they learned of the death of the prophet (s.a.w)...and they mourned, and omar disbelieved, and threatened to lash whoever decried these words...the prophet is dead, abu bakr said. but ALLAH is Infinite. all praise is due for the teachings of the prophet that inculcated this belief into a culture, understanding deeply that we, that i too will pass (in this form), but the ONE-ness continues...
the message is to give...to let go of this attachment to money and poverty, and instead shifting this paradigm by shifting the belief that has been cultivated through a life on the brink of economics - that i must save for another day, that i must hold on tight to what i have because otherwise, that i must walk in the line of professionalism that babylon has defined...rather than walk the Way...
the Way is clear if you stop looking for some destiny. the Way is in the Giving, in the giving is the letting go, is the Surrender, the suspense of disbelief, and in whole belief. Be holistic in belief and let go and in the letting go, give and in the giving is the Light, the Way in...
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