...sugar and walnuts...

...sugar and walnuts... sugar masked as almond milk ice cream... knew it and played... the game... the one that got me over to your place... after ignoring your calls... after we broke up... after i walked over the hudson... exodus to astoria... to where i thought home was... even though you were from jersey... even though i was from queens... even though i binged breaking bad after it was over... empty pints of vegan ice cream crowding my bed... forgot i had a job when monday morning came and by friday i was on a leave of journeying into dust...

...months into a cold cereal toast diet... you became a stranger... i left your pictures in pockets of jeans and hoodies for salvo... for donation... for letting go... let you go... with the smoke i blew in front of the coffee shop... circling words i never gave you, that wrapped around hipsters wondering why more people didn't live in astoria... didn't bother waving my hand... saying here i am... have been since i could remember, when the tallest building was six stories tall and there was a guy who grew from the cracks of the sidewalk by the train every dawn and shouted cry out loud... understood you at that moment... understood we walked two worlds and it didn't matter... i didn't care that the new astorians didn't see me... so long as you did... and that didn't matter either...

...you showed up... like breathless kisses... like a letter wet with tears pleading for getting back... i thought... i thought thats what it was...