...in the name of ALLAH... ramadhan 2020...

...ramadhan in a time of Always... corona queens or corona virus... living in this realm or another...

life neither begins in the womb nor concludes in the grave... the linear storyline of western white/black/brown/yellow folks... the multicultural slave-ship run by mutli-cultural whippers...

...i'm whipping 90 with my feet on the path to the east river here in the queens side of the brooklyn debate that i opted out of when i heard the voice of rappers and politicians coalesce to cultivate a new york provincialism like nationalism, a processed refinement like white bread and sugar... the taste good feel good is a moment on the tongue... thorns in the gut...

...i reach for dandelions and look at the fence of the community garden for macuna with the hijabi morrocan sister who strums in with a mission to connect with the plants as her husbands waits in the car... she points out the violets and the cohosh... we admire the rabbits ear and herbalists of the western frontier...

...this morning... during the podcast on herbs and magic... i re-realized that my story... many of our stories with herbs is neither an aside nor a compartment of herbalist... it is a gradation... ammu's herbalism is kitchen herbalism... it is ancient and ayurveda is steeped in it... possibly the other way around... dadabhy's herbalism is from the forest... my great grandfather's was from his spiritual works with those who needed him... his duas...

...my herbalism... like my grandfather... or what i imagine to be like my grandfather's is not a lone focus... it is part of a medicine system... like bowing one's head down during 5 sun moon and planet nexuses during the day... every day... to recall your dust in the wind... all we are is dust in the wind...

...and when i close my eyes... and reopen them in white hawk farm in ithaca... as the sun goes down... the stars are the canopy of the sky... and one of the original founders of the community tells me what he loves about looking at the sky is not feeling small and diminutive... but feel liberated by being part of something so much grander than our little day to day schemas...

...in the name of ALLAH...

...ramadhan 2020... last year... the year before... the year before... trotting through iftars... Connecting with others on the path... truly the greatest time of year to be in a path of Surrender and connecting with others on this path... our worlds overlapping... all praise is due...

...ramadhan... a couple years back... i asked You - how do i fall in Love with You... You told me... through Connecting... i asked... how do i Connect?... You showed me through the Creation...  through Your Creation... how?... by surrendering the ego... bowing your head... the monkey mind... raising the heart... ceasing thought and anxieties...

...the subsequent year - now that i know how to fall in Love?... what do i do with this?... You told me to serve... to be a servant to community... to Creation...

...and now... after neither taking the lesson from the Love nor the service... i ask this year... ALLAH... what do i do?... when there is financial concerns... life concerns about family... living situation... getting married... etc... what do i do to be one who is in Love and of Service to You...?... how do i Actualize this?...

...what i'm learning is that it is my duty to serve... that by not serving i am hoarding and blaspheming on the Gift... that in doing so i am heeding to the world of senses and not the Real world of the unseen... that i am saying with words that i believe... but not going into battle... when the battle comes i shirk from it...

...these learnings are coming from the Qur'an and the great teacher, imam ghazali...

...the intention... the question this ramadhan is how do i build on being in Love with You...?... You told me it was to Work from a place of inspiration and Create... how do i do this in a way that is full on.. .that isn't just thinking about it... that isn't just being in the sidelines?...

...i think i see... i see images of doing the Work the good deeds... taking away to get Closer... instead of adding on... taking away means sharing... giving away what i'v learned... to help... to support... to be a face a voice... a touch of care... deep Love and tenderness... i know i have this touch from the way i feel when i am working with someone... doing a treatment... feel their spirit and fall in Love...