...july 13... the full moon...

 ... in the name of ALLAH... july's full buck moon is upon us... according to the farmer's almanac it is the closest we on planet earth get to the moon... making it a super moon... in it's appearance and distance... since it will be lower in the sky, southward, it will appear even bigger during its apex... 

...the buck is the male deer and their antlers will appear to be their fullest at this time of year...

...the moon has been a constant in my life... as much as the sun has... i started on this journey of yoga through sun salutations and shortly after... the moon came to be an important player in my life... in many ways even before the sun was an obvious sign of the One... the moon was... as holy men in my life walked to rooftops to sight the moon for eid, and other auspicious occurrences involving the life of the prophet prophets, days of ascension only Known through the signs of ALLAH...

...so prominent is the moon in this path of Surrender that it engulfs our star... 

...on this fictional path of yogi, as a Seeker, the moon and moon fasting became a necessary part of my days... i found myself writing intentions reflections on this day, looking up when possible, having ceremony with people in my life and seeing what came up for me... 

...one of the poems that has been most central to my life is rumi referring to the humble moon... 

...i can't say i notice major changes in myself during the full moon... some people say they do.. i don't know... i can only speak for me... i don't know that my life is less climactic at this point of month than during other points... it seems equally bland and tumultuous... 

...some of the most powerful moments i've had is doing and being in community ceremony during the full moon... making and sharing intentions together... 

...in the name of ALLAH, the Most Compassionate, the Most merciful... 

...how is it in other traditions?... is it important to know? is it okay to not know? what happens if you don't know does this mean you can't do anything during the full moon?... what if we started blank today, as humans, with our same level of capacity to manipulate and understand?... i would still look to the moon, see it as a calendar... a marking of our days here on planet earth... a way to weigh the past month... a way to root and Work... living according to the phases of the moon... each day being a little different, as per the season, as per the region... in the name of ALLAH.. the Most Compassionate the Most Merciful... 

7.6.22 ...Working for the Work...

 ...running for a thrill... hoping it will land me in tibet on friday and thailand on sunday... i hear that there is no end to the beaches there and the expats have cultivated 24 hours in a way new york claims with its chest beating trumps of all colors... 

... after the 6th day, on the 7th, in between flights to tokyo, i am forced to wonder about the disappearances... what happened to everyone around me... everyone i was best friends with just a day ago... drinking coconut water, smoking hashish, yoga-ing with... and a week into being in kabul 1970, before the u.s and soviet invasion, before the rise of the masses against the corrupt and u.s puppet regime that facilitated a similar night life party scene as it did in cuba under batista, not only was havana a station for military operations but a haven for red light districts and night life for our boys... i'd forgotten that there was a group of people i stayed up till 3am with every night... in the face of new friends new tunes, new love interest... 

...a swivel door... some people don't know how to stop their twenties... their twenties meaning their american twenties... meaning doing whatever, having fun, living carefree... some of us feel the knot tied to our throat... lest we forget that we are here for a brief moment... when we go too far... someOne is looking out for us... ensuring that the senses are available for us to go deeper to deepen this Spirit... this journey... to Connect... in the name of ALLAH...

...ALLAH, nor jesus, nor the prophet muhammad, nor buddha, nor krsna, nor moses need to hear their name repeated... need for us to let them know we said their names 108 times and paused before our meal to say this... 

...but somehow we do... somehow i need you to say my name and say how great i am so i could bow out and say no no no i'm no one really, except when you don't say it, except when you never mention me, never credit me, never give me love, etc etc... then the beastly ego 666's and beats his chest and makes claims and boasts and makes himself look even more stupid because he has given into a false reality, has fell for the oldest trick in the book - the True test of ego... 

...we are in the midst of it when we are fired, reprimanded, overlooked, appropriated, not credited, screamed at, cheated, not looked at, not acknowledged, etc., etc. ... the True test is when we can face the beast that breathes inside and withdraw all food/sugars etc., from him... 

...Love is when you do and are prostrate to the Work, without Seeking approval... with embrace of what is... doing cause the Work needs doing... moving from Work and not from thrill... Being in Collaboration with angels and djinn that are Reaching... with dolphins and elephants, crows and pigeons and eagles...

...in the name of ALLAH... you Know what to do... 

3 july 2022 intentions for 12

 ...accidental... this morning was beautiful... and then the lesson that occurred is what i left behind... do one thing at a time with deep focus Reach... going in... and i didn't... i was trying to juggle... i was trying to do and be at two places at once... and life constantly tells me you can't... that it has to be one step at a time... go slow... go forward... try... Reach... in the name of... a lesson... humbling... lets see... let it roll and see what happens... 

...in the name of ALLAH... i bear witness on this revolution of the number 12... a holy cipher that won't occur again for another 9 years... the numbers... numbers... deutoronomy...

...typing fast... not stopping for periods or grammar... not trying to make sense... not really caring... knowing that i'm trying to figure something out... that its about me... about us... You and me... and i don't know how any of this works...

...met a couple at the menonite service today... they were beautiful... had 8 kids... were steeped in the church... in jesus... didn't seem too different from the amish... from the perspective of other christians - trinity - the father son holy ghost... and yet they had their denomination... perhaps this is the same in islamic majority countries... who knows...?.. 

...what's important is that i learn and that i learn to let go of somethings and go deep and deeper still in other things... wanted to say peace... 

...today... i stared at my phone longer than i wanted.. trying to figure out how to post through my phone... took forever... would've rather walked more... would've rather spent time making Love and making medicine.. .and Being Connected... maybe writing poetry and reading pomes and making a difference being present in the lives of others... 

...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate... the Most merciful.. .and maybe this is all that has to be said over and over and the repetition will lead to the Truth... to the Us... 

...summer... july 3rd 2022... woke up at 3am and practiced for 2.5 hours and could practice another 3... because it's that deep... because it is Love... 

...intention to Work to Worship not to be worshipped... what occurred to me through the burn in the solstice... to do one thing at a time... fully present... going deep... Reaching... Being Clear... honest... Compassionate... from a place of Love... in the name of ALLAH... 

...this year... intentions are to manifest what i've been avoiding - the Work that will draw me deeper in worship - seeds of tribe... putting forth the Work by showing up and using the feedback... by not compromising Soul for quarters... by practicing nonduality in non compartmentalization in all matters - family friends Work... to allow the Work i do to be a bridge for me and the people i Work with to get Closer... to share more... a lot more... through showing up and doing... 

...july second twenty twenty two...

 ...moments before my nascent... saturn more than half way in its second revolve... and the revolution happened while i sat in a cafe and typed like it meant something ...like it was the most important thing in the world... and usually i can't think without writing... without seeing these words to make meaning of what any of this means... 

...in the name of ALLAH... what the self help books and gurus of this age tell you is that if you only did this or that and if you do it this way and if you spend some more time doing this and if you build this habit of success and do this type of yoga... and the thing with it with all of it is that i don't know... i don't get how we became such islands... how we are all supposed to figure it out by ourselves when our very birth was a collaboration an act of union between male female and those rooting for them, family friends... we are so integrally innately intertwined that we have belly buttons... a cord had to be cut for us to be an individual... 

...and yet the self help will tell us to take on these practices... the tim robbins motivational speakers and modern day know it alls like sadhguru will tell you that you just have to do these three things and if you attend one of their weekend workshops and eventually one of their month long programs and maybe even a subscription to what they say and have to say and how they say then you will figure it out... it will get better... better than better... 

...but what about the fact that we need each other... not just for an occaisonal call or hang... but we need to be with and around each other... that we are medicine for each other and through being together in a real and deep way we learn and grow deeper in our selves... 

...in the name of ALLAH... and with all this said... with all the fancy spiritualisms of realizations... what to do about it in a landscape of peace out... see you when i see you... meaning it was good taking this course with you and doing this and that with you... and now it's over... and it is... don't let any of the new age gurus (whether they are white or black as krsna) tell you otherwise... don't let them tell you that their program their services their words their course will do the trick... or help in some way... it won't... it may scratch a surface but there's a lot more... there;s a hell of a hell of a lot more... the lot more is in the fact that individuals are telling you as an individual what to do... indviduals making money off individuals... listen to individuals whon gave up individualism to be part of a deep and meaningful community which incolves real accounability and not signs and words and politics that talk about what they support and what they don't... don't be fooled by the sentimentalism of "the victim" and "the oppressor"... sometimes it is the so called victim thats oppressing... 

...and it makes snese in that it doesn't... none of it really does... except in the Quiet... except in the spaces of deep Quiet... go hang with those who are Quiet... it's the loudest you should avoid... it's the loudest who we always hear about... see in the binary media... it's the loudest who get the airtime... these days loud isn't just a bullhorn and a riot... it is social media... it is those who are skilled at marketing... the loudest can be silent and still loud... 

...Quietness... find those who are Quiet and learn from them... they wont' speak to you about us and thems... you know how i Know?... i spend time with some of the Most Quiet Beings on earth... the trees, the lakes, rivers, gorges... the mountains and desert... you won't hear them saying a word... and yet... they will leave you full... more than full... speechless... and just cause you are also like every single person... experiencing elements doesn't mean you are spending time with elements... to spend time means to pause... to go deep... to really just root and see what happens... 

...everything everyone passes... every trend goes out... every movement fades... and energy is that which cannot be created nor destroyed... so transform the energy of attachment to a false reality to go deeper in the Quiet... to go deeper in compassion... in commitments... in Working to Worship not to be Worshipped... in doing these things on a breath level... every second... one thing at a time... diving in... seeing the folds of water and fish and the beak of the bald eagle as it shoots into the water for seconds from a 100 yards in the sky to catch its prey... notice it all... second to second... 

...all of this requires Trust... Trust that if You do the Work... you will get the feedback You need to move forward... even if this feedback is not what you wanted... even if it is hurtful... be okay with the feedback... because it is Real... move/Work from the spaces between yourself... from that place of deep yogic breath... Connect... and move from here... i

...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate the Most Merciful...