...blessings...to You...to You...
...noticing patterns...repetition...redundancy...addictions to: hurt, love, anticipation, disappointment, pretending, keeping it in, noncommital-ness...
...my path is the same as yours - to Love, to Give, to Surrender...to do this through work, as work is what keeps us in a state of communion, of giving, of loving, of being a positive member of this and the next world - do good deeds, ALLAH repeats, a mantra in the Recitation...good deeds...
...deeds are work...what are your deeds...good deeds are work that is in service, that supports others...that is uncompromised in loving, giving...is ammu cooking for 30 3 days in a row, 1900 weeks in a row - a state of meditation - work...
...my patterns are to avoid doing that which needs to get done, to deviate, to get distracted easily, to get distracted in fantasy...to mono-focus on this, to do this in a way that is injurious, burdensome to my spirit, that interferes with my work...
...in the absence of distractions, i am consumed in finding distractions - being behind this screen for several hours a day, scavenging for jobs, putting out resumes, blogging, sipping coffee and growing emotionally ravenous...sending out messages to friends and family to express my Love...being a phone-texting jesus...
...the real isa was amidst crowds and people, walked fearlessly, did fearlessly...died fearlessly...
...i once heard that in order to know what your life means, it's important to know what you are willing to die for...
...the movements of the 40's, 50's and 60's were particularly gravitational for people i knew, because it was clear to see that there were many people willing to die for a cause, and that cause was a movement to shape, change society towards a better world...no more colonialism, not more subjugation, no more oppression, no more exploitation...instead, there would be new nations that practiced egalitarianism...this propelled many...not just the ideas, but the fact that people, the majority of people, were being subjugated ruthlessly, and felt no other choice, but to choose a movement...
...the circumstances of extreme oppression on a mass, societal level, by clear faces of an oppressor class, created opportunity for mass movement... what does that now?...
...are people drawn to making change based on changing society towards equality?...seems like the change most are working on is to be able to fit in...that my brown-ness should be able to engage in capitalism just like your whiteness and blackness and yellowness... that my religion should be able to play exploiter just like you do...
...the issue is, this for me, misses the mark...it's more reactionary...
...what would hit the mark? building alternative self-sustainable communities that are self-reliant, that are interdependent, that are accountable to a Higher power, to a deeper cause...
...what is that deeper cause? to reach heaven, to be plural, to work towards re-forestation, towards being aligned with earth and not earth as something in the way for us to align into our needs...the deeper cause would be here-after - the stars - reaching mars - ancient mathematics...
...culture has the potential to change entire ways of being...today, there are numerous subcultures, and subcultures based on subcultures...they change things...they have the power to change things...
...on day 4, as i spilled my guts out...as i watched weight slip under me...i also watched trepidations of the heart, mind, of fantasies. of these fantasies keeping from the Plan, and Work...
...keep the Work in focus...there is a great deal of work to do...be fearless in your Work...
...my Work is to build schools of traditional medicine that instill the values of Love...this is the long term... the immediate is the herbal blends, which can lead to discussion, classes, economic self-sustenance, employment of others...
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