...cooperative living...

...what does it mean? to be housed... to have meaningful housing... there are those who live in mutli-million dollar homes but they are alone, isolated, bored... i've seen them... been in their houses...

...there are communities... villages... they exist in america... intentional communities... what we had for millenia... we meaning my family... we not meaning a race... many other traditional people have had it to... i know that...

...and fortunately i am only one generation from this... and being so... i grew up in a household in nyc that held this ancient math... so we moved as a unit... getting that only now...

...before... when my mom would say i should how i dress or speak... i wouldn't get it... she would say what will others in our community think... my definitive western mindset immediately went to - they should mind their business... i would get pissed at these other people... i would think of how nosy they were and were only there to spoil my fun... i recall having convo with my cousins who would feel the same way... my parents are cool with it... my cousins would say... if it weren't for these other community people... i don't why they care what other people think...

...care... you do care... that's why you have the clothes you carefully selected out... the shoes you were, etc., etc... you care to be recognized... stand out... but it is outside a context... it has nothing to do with an us... it has everything to do with chasing what's in... even when you think you aren't... when you think you are doing your own thing... you are... in relation to others... to what others will think...

...the difference between caring about what the community thinks and caring about what babylon thinks is that the community requires accountability... requires you to align... babylon requires you to spend... to be wanton... to hate yourself... to be without a context... to spend... if you were aligned with community then you would be wearing clothes that were about You in relation to You... it wouldn't matter that they were 30 years old...

...home is like this... finding community... alot of the intentional communities are trying to reconnect with something lost - community - meaningfulness in their relations with their neighbors... with themselves... but they want to have good times... hope everything is fun all the time... but Real community involves layers of family... generations - babies and great grand-daddies... it involves pause... income sharing... valuing each others work... my mom had told me this once... how when the son makes money... the first check goes to the parents... but the deeper lesson was community economics... the money stays in the tribe... it is all of ours... just like she does with food...

...perhaps the step in this cooperative housing is for us to income share... live in the same household... share Work responsibilities... have meetings... strive together...

...getting it now... the ancient math i left for the books and the new age individualism of the math... 

...tarot: knight of pentacles... 8.30.19...

...knights in white armor...

...knights carry forth what is required of them to an utmost... thus bringing their suit - pentacles, wands, cups, to its limits...

...the knight falls immediately below the king and queen... he is driven by duty... meticulous in his task...

...the knight... in carrying forth the penatcles weighs best decisions... what would be most sound... fruitful... advantageous to the will of the king and queen...

...the knight in traditional cultures can be thought of as the warrior... the one who puts their lives on the line for others... who sacrifices knowing there may be no coming back this time... they are the swordsmen of the dessert... men garbed from head to toe in flowing garbs deified as alchemical in the alchemist and demonized in the media as al qaeda...

...the knight... the warrior... is not concerned with money... nor the riches to be gained... instead the knight only works towards the greater good of the whole... the queen and king...

...what does this mean for you...?... who are your queen and king?... who do you serve?... how are you selfless in this serving?...

...just got off the phone with a queen... she continues to call... to reach out... although we both know that it can't be... she can't give me what i want... and i can't be what she wants...

...sacrifice in this situation is staying focused on the Love for my queen mother and king father... to carry through our vision of village Love... and to be village to her... by being responsive... taking her calls... offering her unconditional Love... expecting nothing in return... expecting nothing... letting her go over and over...

...the knight of pentacles breathes the truth of feelings and exhales... replaced by the Truth of the this Great Mystery... of the Truth of the not Knowing... of Love being unconditional as there is no holding on to anything... and in turn staying focused on the doing... the duty... the arjuna... what needs to be done...

...tarot: ace of pentacles...8.29.19...

...the plan... today... ace - number one... of pentacles... money... mundane... kapha... the earth... in grounding... how are you grounding today...?... how are you one hundred with your grounding... on top of the game... of the money game ... of money that is divinely blessed?...

...the illustration in the tarot shows a hand that is reaching out form the firmament... the hand of the celestial... above the ground... levitating there...

...how can you go so deep in your situation... in your day to day... that you are above it... that you are creating beauty... shaping it... shaping You... instead of being shaped by the money and the greed...

...today's message is how can you tap into earthly duties to Connect... to go past the transient...

...today is not about bills and rent and money for the train... gas... tolls... today is doing it big... is trusting in the Infinite... that it will Work...

...if you were to do it big today?... how would you do it?... where would you put your money... Knowing that you can't be stopped...

...before you do so... breathe... center... emerge from a place of One... of Source... and things will Align... spend from this place... ask the Essence... 

...tarot...3 of cups... 8.28.18...

.
..three... my brothers and i comprise 3... when one is in conflict we had the other... this could go in cycles... especially as we were from a culture of cups... brimming with feelings... emotional about the karate kid and annie...

...my mom has a cup of tea in the morning... with breakfast.. this is why she can't eat oatmeal or cereal in the morning... this is why only corissants, bagels, rotis, parathas, and other breads make sense for her... she has another cup at 4:30 to 5pm... tea time... she is brimming with overwhelming Love, compassion, emotion... for all... for everyone she encounters... say a kind word to her and her jewlery, clothes, china is yours... she will invite you to a meal...

...the three of cups shows celebration... three women like her sisters, huddled around each other, putting their chai up... cause its a celebration everytime they get up...

...the card shows a clear sky behind them and a ripe harvest amidst them... root veggies emerging from the earth... it is autumn... the last great harvest before the cooler months approach...

...it's time to connect with Loved ones and celebrate life... raise each other up in the process... who are You raising up in Your life?... how are they raising You up?...

...do you recognize bounty when you see it?... perhaps it is already all around you... what bounty lies around you?...

...for me i have bountiful love in family and friends... i have bountiful exposure to ancient math - practices that allow me to grow deeper - these cards - asana - pranayama - dharana - pratyahara - yama- niyama... i have hands that allow me to write, type, touch bodies and transform pain.. to make medicine and meals... i have the high frequency foods of my mother and high frequency thoughts and intellect of my father... i have the insight of my brother and his humble activity to aspire towards...

...i am blessed with seed and able bodied... thriving... i have a job that allows me time to Work on my craft/s... i have the gift of the written word...

...today... consider the bounty you are amidst... and celebrate the bounty of those around you by raising them up through kind words, love and kindness... which dissolves fear... engage in your team and get to Work... 

....number 1... !... the first encounter the wide-eyed-open-to-the-world-everything-wonderous-and-possible fool has to the world...after his parents... is the magician... what is possible?... what is impossible...?... the magician takes the fool into the arms of a world of transformation... in which meanings exist only to be malleable... shift-changing... i record dots after every thought... before they occur... before the before... after the after... i studied creative writing and yet... the magician shows how there are laws... and once the laws are known bending can happen...

...new... number one... from zero... from emerging from the womb... new possibilities... what new possibilities do you see?...

...the laws of the patella are that it floats in space, it buffers the tibia and fibula from the femur... there is no equivalent in the elbow, yet the range of motion is similar...

...the magician stands tall, his wand pointing up... to the firmament...

...between heaven and earth... in between... neither purgatory nor stagnant... the Work is in the Work... what is Your Work here on earth... how are you tapping into divine energy to accomplish it?... what impact do you want to leave before you return to the earth?...

...the magician leaves the fools with lessons that the fool can weigh in his encounter with leaves for herbal remedies... leaves like the little linden tree's calming asymmetrical heart shaped leaves that when folded in half are lopsided... leaves that when infused can calm the heart... soothe the stomach... bring coating to the stomach... the lessons of the magician can be weighed in housing... to live in an apartment or a coop or a condo or a house in a city or suburb or town or rural... or as part of a cooperative eco-housing scenario... the magician teaches the fool to be decisive to use his wand... to transform that which is not of service...

...the magician listens to the fools debate on property on getting some land... on whether he is selling out his soul in doing so... in getting a property manager... in whether or not this is a good idea... as they deal with people like paper... easily burned... he tells the fool not to think to hard... to go with his heart... and as things change to be supple... to avoid getting it right and instead trying... giving it his all... and seeing what happens...

...the fool learns that the most important thing is to be True to himself... to learn with his body and mind as his canvas... that his principles are best served when he applies them internally... like when he considers being zero waste... before preaching to others... he realizes that he must go through the internal journey of this... and this is true with his veganism and yoga...

...tarot...the chariot...8.26.19...

...in the name of the 1ness... the Most Compassionate... the Most Merciful...

...the charioteer holds a wand... the symbol of fire... of transformation... of doing through focus... without force... the symbols of divinity adorn him as he stares into the future...

...i am a passenger... on a chariot... in deep conversation with krsna... about the battle... about how i don't want to sell clothes... or get new ones... how i want to make my own shoes and paper and notebooks... cause the paper making process and manufacturing is eliminating diverse trees plant life animal life to put up a monocrop of trees that can serve our schools and offices and arts and crafts.. .etc...

...i am a passenger on this chariot and krsna tells me the battle lies ahead... that in my reasoning i lie dormant... that i cower... cowardly in my response i become crippled by thought... make no moves... afraid to harm i do nothing... and then when i do act... when... or by the time i realize it is time to act... it is too late... game over... lifetime over... 45... 55... 65... 75... 85... no kids... no wife... no nothing... that's what you wanted.. right?...

...the conversation with the charioteer reminds me that i join the battle... that there is work to do... that as jiro the renown sushi chef of 85 y/o said... you chose a craft/path/work... and then you surrender completely to it... don't complain don't seek shortcuts... you give it your all... and you will then be in the same state of mind that jiro is in - inquisitive... wondering how he could improve...

...i wonder what that battle is for me... that craft that i grow deeper in... as for jiro... it is sushi making... and the thing with sushi making is that it is an art that is shared...

...which of your arts are you bringing to the battlefield... afterall Love is a battlefield and you realize that only upon giving yourself up to another... that it is full of heartache and challenge... but well worth it... and thus is the battle that the charioteer rides us into... whipping through time with the ancient wisdom of the sphinx... moving us forward to what we must face...

...when you share your Truth with the world... prepare to be stoned... as jesus tells us in matthew...

...but the stoning is feedback that you may be doing something right... especially if people are benefitting from this...

...perhaps today you are celebrated as a figure of greatness in a chariot through a procession... crowds applauding your contribution...

...what contributions are you offering the world... what is your greatness?... if you are not contributing how can you tap into your beauty to do so?... to share... to contribute... to applaud others and in turn you will hear the applause that is only you healing yourself...

...ride and ride... i ride and i ride...  today... as i lift off with my sharing...

...tarot: king of pentacles...

...the king sits on his throne holding a large gold coin... he is adorned in regalia clarifying his regality... he is the king of pentacles... has made it... this week.... today... sunday... conclusion of the summer in some ways... autumn has arrived in its clear mild temperature... the breeze blows closure and beginning of the end...

...the king sits with his gold... he has made it... he has made his riches... he has won... what now?... what about me?... what about you?... what've you made it in?... what now...?...

...for me... this is a timely question.. this means everything... i've been weighing money... a house... next steps... and i have been asked by the 1ness to share... i have been reminded that the whole Purpose is the share... to Connect through Creation...

...but then i get caught in questions about security... about paychecks... about survival... how will i make it if i don't have a legit job...?... are my dreams enough?...

... the answer of course is yes... you can be a job that is unhealthy that is hurtful that is unfulfilling to the soul... and you stay because you are afraid of what it would mean to follow their dream.. most of us do not... most of us half step... what would it mean to take it to the top?... what does it mean to take it to the top... in the past i thought it meant doing me... working towards my goals... but i Know that this happens in unity... in community... in the sharing... that the King with his gold is alone... what is he doing with it... the whole point is to do something with it... to share... to cultivate...

...the king has the image of golden calf... the bulls that israelites worshipped... as they turned their back on Truth... on the teachings of Musa...

...the king holds a sceptre... he is both rich and powerful...

...where is your power...?... where do you hold power?... my power is in listening... in yoga... in rituals and discipline... in creative writing...

...what are you doing with your power to build meaning... to be the continuum of past and present... ?...

...today i listened to talks on real estate and felt sleazed... my power is in the sharing... i would like to use my resources to create culitivate... build meaningful community... how? ask the dead you... and you may hear... do it... take the risk... see what happens... the response is the teacher...

...when you put yourself out there... whether it's through writings or instagram... the response is the feedback... use it... up the ante... get rich... rich being to build community wealth... to take the heed of ancestors and conduit with antecedents... to do right by the Law... get rich or die trying...

...herb of the week: little leaf linden...

... many a time have i walked past the little leaf linden tree in my neighborhood and wondered - what is that amazing aroma?... the trees line certain blocks in my neighborhoods... and in considering its calming nervine properties may be useful in some blocks where the temperature runs high... 

...linden has traditionally been used to treat nervous system disorders... and in multiple senses... from a traditional medicine perspective there is a battle between the brain-mind and the heart-mind... the heart is also considered the proper seat of the mind... in this sense linden acting as a vasodilator and supportive of heart function is a layer to its nervous system support... 

...another layer of the nervine in light of traditional medicine and more recent discoveries and attention on the role of the gut, is linden leaf's soothing effect on the g.i tract... it is a mucilage and can support damaged intestinal villi, as well as ruptures from wear and tears in the stomach... 

...the heart-shaped leaf is made into a tea and used to cool the mind... the flowers fruit in the summer and can be used to addressed depression and anxiety...

...tarot: four of cups... 8.21.19...

...a person... man... or woman... sits under a tree... contemplating.. . barely noticing or not noticing the cup that is being held out for him... he is in meditation... thought... overwhelm...

..four... the number four... solid ground... a square... rectangle... standing on a rug... in a box... on a building... on the bloc... square... squared... all praise is due... are you on solid ground?...

...perhaps you are sitting on the table of complacency... failing to see what lies before you... as you are too engrossed in thought/emotion/self-pity... shhh... smell the flowers...

...four of cups... enmeshed in the mundane... rooted in something that is concrete... that is in contradiction to the cup - emotion - feelings - that is at war with it... as it creates a false sense of self... that leaves us in a maya... in a reality that requires hustle ... that takes us into the world of pentacles...

... fours of cups... leaves us by a tree... by the grass... mulling over what is and isn't... it holds emotions... the four of cups is a table for our emotions to stand firm... to be contained... to support the possible overflow...

...the cups need mushrooms to go deeper... today was mycellium... below the emotions are the underground networks of mycellium... sometimes larger than or the entire width of the entire forest... mushrooms are the fruit of these one-celled vast networks... are the mushrooms all a part of the same mycellium?... stametes says we originate from mycellium... from fungi... that they are the basis for our immune system...

...sitting by the tree opens up the network... connects us with turkey tail... when are emotions grow too high... when they overbear... then cancer... breast cancer... heart disease... tumors... turkey tail can help us in these moments... when our emotions grip us... it can vomit the tumors out...

...tarot: the moon... 8.20.19...

...darkness is the vast ocean of the universe... the Light of the moon reminds us of this as it brings shadows into view...

...today's tarot of trees displays a moon partially eclipsed into the symbol of islam... a crescent above a river that is framed by curly trees like something out of beetlejuice...

...at first i went with connotation... with prescribed adjectives that accompany darkness... but it was in opposition to the intrinsic force gushing through me... an embrace of the shadow side... of the dark and light side of the moon...'

...perhaps the moon is of such fascination to many of us because it highlights the crevices... the parts of us others don't see but that we live with... a candle that rummages through the attic space... that casts alive those lives within us that we have stuffed in there... that we tiptoe into to visit... hoping the floors won't creek... hoping no one hears us...

...the moon... when it is barely visible requires us to rely on our senses as we walk through our corridors... and this is when our skin's brain activates... reminds us that it is its own being... has a life of its own... that it grows slight bumps... it suddenly grows cold... it itches... the skin is calmed by the sound of the river rolling through... as if touch is informed by sound... as the ted talk neuroscientest revealed during this morning's satsang...

...the dark side of the moon keeps us on our toes... makes us grow inward... as our skin brushes through toothbrush and floss... as our hands touch plastic and our feet crush plastic bottles... the sound of the river reminds us of our desecration of that which is Sacred... the wastefulness... a reflection on our waste... what would it mean to be zero waste? how can one...?... i see it as part of the high frequency diet... part of the religious and spritiual path to be zero waste... i did so during ramahdan... brining my own plate and utensils... i will keep a small ziper bag for these things... as well as a handkerchief... restoring old clothes to be worn again...

...how are you taking inventory of the garbage you are collecting... that you create... that in not dealing with you grow into... like a prisoner in guantanmo sitting in his own feces...?...

...traditonal tarot reveals two wolves howling as they stare up at the moon... suggesting both devotion and wildness... of letting go to Connect with a deeper more innate force... the body of water sits below the hills and reflects our intuition... our consciousness... as a fish leaping out illustrates the thought process. chittas, as is referred to in vedic teachings... chittas which may or may not become samskaras... attachments... an opportunity for us to witness our sensory responses but to be in a state of equanimity...

...as you walk on down the road... instead of following the lady walking on 5the ave looking for gold and diamonds... walk down green weeded lane... pausing to grow cosy with comfrey... using its oils and root... and cautiously ingesting it... as it is super high in protein and can rupture your liver... cause uric acid... pause to awake by getting stung with nettles... using it to draw inflammation to areas that need it... sniff the lemon balm as you make a fire and alchemically transfomrm it into a stone using its ash oil and alcohol...

...walk into your intuition... if you feel something act on it... breathe deep... take it in with pause... find peace with the shadows the moon is highlighting... walk into these shadows... embrace them... make peace with them... transform from them... cry... laugh... let go...

...the moon requires pause... is telling you to avoid hasty decisions and life in the left lane... pranayama before you act... 

...tarot: knight of coins...

...a knight is one who goes into battle... comes after the king queen... is the warrior... the coins... also known as pentacles are the symbol of wealth... of the mundane... represent the earth element... kapha...

...the knight of pentacles then upholds the mundane... defends it... goes for it... how are you connecting with your senses?...

...in the traditional tarot deck there is a knight sitting on a horse... the horse appears to be waiting... stationary... the knight is also stationary... gently holding a pentacle in one hand and appearing to be mesmerized by the orb that surrounds it... the knight is fully armored... signifying battle... the fight... the possibility of being injured... in the background are clear skies that is a sea of yellow... sunshine... a soft sun... there are plains behind the warrior....

...in the name of ALLAH...

...the knight is represented in herbalists who Connect deeply with the forest floor... learn of species that are neither plant life nor mycelium but saprophytes... life that look a bit like a species of mushrooms... they do not produce their own chlorophyll...

...saprophytes are pentacles of the earth and not of it... they are wands... magic... between trees and fungi... they provide communication pathways... neural networks for the forest... a type of axon and dendrite...

...the knight recruits pentacles like devils club... a sacred plant in native traditions... it is deep in the mundane... it hangs in the crevices of the innards of valleys where streams reviers run through... in between mountains... the knight reveres the devils club by not just plucking it... but providing offerings... something from himself... prayer... asking... touches it with reverence and pragmatism by using gloves, navigating through its spikes...devils club is is antiviral, antibacterial...defends against bronchial infections... the knight may use the devils club as his sword, staff... it shows up spiky like it is prepared for defense... or to clear out... as it does with pancreas... stabilizing blood sugar levels... currently being used for diabetics... this pentacle of plant life is considered a type of adaptogen...

...how did you show up in the world physiologically? how are you tapping into this to heal...?...

...another pentacle that showed up this morning for me was cedar... the western red cedar... i have been connecting it with recently in p.a. in bmore... noticing it... its tips touching my tongue... giving me Love... it being high in vitamin C... in multiple other vitamins... in bronchial health... the cedar ois said to have been a loving person... a medicine man who healed his people... when he died he gave them cedar as himself incarnate... if you want to grow wealthier with the cedar.... lightly peel the outer bark and have some of the inner bark...

...as a knight of this life... you Work to fight for what is important... you nourish yourself with mundane in a way that will grow you... Connect you... golden milk with turmeric... almond milk... coconut cream - a fat... as used in ayurvedic medicine as an aphrodesiac and adaptogen and rasayana and analgesic...

...there are those who are deeply enmeshed in the mundane... to the point in which they are harming life.. overthrowing governments... - hawaii... the phillipines... puerto rico... chile... iran... even after there was a democratically elected president... the problem was that he nationalized oil... the problem with allende and all of these overthrown figures is that they put their land and peoples interests within their land first and that was a no no to others who wanted to exploit their resources...

...how are you being a knight of the earth... in engaging with the mundane... what are you working hard towards... for??? what is your fight...?....

...the knight is still... he is not wavered by trends... stays focused on his task at hand... relishes Quietly in the joy of this moment of peace... without attaching too much to it... knowing it may change the knight Works in and from Purpose....

...8.16.19...tarot: the sun...

...sunshine on your day... approach all with optimism... what would that look like for you?... what does it mean to be radiant from the inside?... for me it means embracing challenges of the day with opportunity and arms fully wide to hug them... to release and burn perfection by playing trying and not trying to get it right by Reaching for You....

...the turning point... the sun has reached the peak of the northern solstice and has tilted towards the south... the southern solstice is upon us... india and pakistan both celebrated their independence the past two days even as kashmir is held at gun point by the hindu extremist government of india at the moment... august has tilted from midway point... climaxing in towards second half...


...the sun is Light... is happiness... yellow... it was all yellow... your smile... joy... summer time... sight... seeing... brightness... good mood... it takes on divine like connotations at times as it is what allows us to see...

...the sun can also scorch burn us, as it did to me last week, after i grabbed and ran through the monkey bars in the park with my nephews last week... my nephew commented that the bars were extremely hot... they're not that bad, i responded as i continued to play and even challenged him to a competition... after, when i felt burning sensations on my hands, i stared at my palm and saw part of it peeled off... the thickest skin in the upper body... peeeled off... a sign indeed that arrogance... ostentation... getting too close to the sun... as icarus only realized afterwards... leads to being burned...

...then there is the figurative burning... the pyre... placing the ego there... dying before you die, as the prophet muhammad advised ego-washed humanity... burning sage... burning that which holds you back... burning and letting go...

...the sun requires a balance... allows you to grow go float if you tap into just the right amount... surya namaskar - hence the salutations... to become just enough liquid for splits, for focus fire to re-energize... to take hold...

...the sun is our star... the one that with the special elements of our planet give rise to life...

...approaching the sun with balance - taking on its energy... embracing it... and using it to move to get things going... to take flight...

...in traditional tarot there is a boy on a horse basking in the sun... naked and smiling... behind him there is helix type road leading towards the sun... and on behind him on the other side is a field of sunflowers... all healthy and happy... it is the # 19... the 19th card... the most auspicious # in islam as it is taking that one step past the cliff of 9... into the unKnown... die before you die...

...the sun is inside and out... the earth is lit... growth is happening... joy abounds... the horse is the figurative march forward into the divinity that the white represents...

...today i am Radiant in all that i do... happy for problems and challenges... and Love... all of which exists in me... the sun... to go Higher... to sweat... to Reach for You in the ALL... 

...full moon 8.15.19...

...all praise is due... Always... for the storms and sunshine... for scorching heat in the apocalypse of a displaced world... and glaciers becoming foam mist...

...my Lord...

...full moon fasting reminds of how powerful sattva is... of transferrence from the ananda-maya-kosha to the prana-maya to being in subtle moments with Lord... with atman... with witness to the mind... with the teachings of gautama incarnate krsna incarnate the prophet of this path of Surrender to the Source of Peace...

...my Lord...

...this full moon i reflect on the beauty of You... in the word that has arisen several times the past few days as i attempted to tackle working on putting together courses... of ordering things... of doing it all - delegate... there are people who need jobs... Work... Work that can help them feed others... in this period of socialism... of a place of transition... i realize that perfect is and has always been in my way...

...perfect has kept me from sharing yoga, writing, bodywork, getting a house, publishing... cooking... supporting you in aligning with You... as i do the same...

...this full moon... as i let go of perfect by doing more screening less... by doing more by taking on less... of doing this through delegating... hiring hands... of paying others... of supporting others to support this dream... i Work with Love... with the Way of the Lover... fall... let myself fall... Work w the embrace of error... of the fall... of trying... of putting it out there... of collaborating... of not waiting for perfect... of Working with the Resources i have... of tapping into what i don't...

...the ashram community may begin with us... family... withe getting a 2 fam...with connecting with those who do this work - realtors... the show/recording may happen with those who do this... who know recording... who can do the ordering if need be... who may want to collab... etc...

...the writing is done... the submissions open... submit... put it out there...

...focus more on what will get me in the circumstance of house, wife, family, published, medicine man... by setting up the circumstance - setting the date, time, description... and delegating all that is not my terrain... all that deviates...

...ace of swords... cut through that which is unneccesary to get to You... to stay focused on the prize... to have vision but as importantly... the daily steps to get me/you there...

...next month - full moon yoga class followed by a full moon bath... after the initial class on yoga system... come through King/Queen... 

...tarot: ace of swords ...8.15.19... full moon...

...the full moon climaxes in an hour as it reveals its face in full in relation to its 28 day orbit around the earth... equaling a moon... or what i now refer to as a month... the month in completion... augiust 15th due date for several writing contests posted on poets and writers... an ace of swords...

...the ace card is often synonymous with the number one... being the first... my ace = my # 1 ... my first goto... the ace of swords... swords referring to power to the air element... in contrast to cups - the water element - in contrast to wands - the fire element.. and in contrast to pentacles or coins - the earth element...

...the wind element in ayurveda - vayu - air - dictates all movement -all motion... in yoga this is the second subtle body... behind the grossest body - the anamyakosha - the food body... the air body - pranamyakosha is in between gross and ethereal - as prana governs all movement but is also breath.. .the breath of life... rasa...

...all praise is due...

...this combination of being first.. the goto... the most reliable... with the element that is at once the most exciting and yet the most damaging... the most caustic allows for clarity for clear movement... for a path to channel the energetic rush towards...

...in the traditional tarot there is a hand emerging out of clouds... as if from another more celestial realm... the hand firmly grips an upright sword at the tip of which is a gold crown of a king... there are mountains in the b.g....

...the ace of swords is promising... showing the victory that is already present... the resolve of battle is shown before the battle... as if the space of triumph already exists and you have to know this before going into the battlefield... before climbing the steep mountins and cutting through the forest... you ahve to know that you willge there and that in knowing enjoy every step of the journey... embrace it... because it is in being fully in the journey that you win... that you get engage at your edge... fully present doesn't just mean smiling and nodding like you are in some other dimension but that you are fully engaged and Working.. in a space of Work... it is Work that keeps us in a state of flow... and as intellects have revealed... the Work leads to flow when you are fully engrossed in it... and this happens through stepping up you game... going a little harder... a little Higher...

...this full moon... Reach a little Higher... Knowing you will get there... Know the there you are getting to... and then put on your crown and get to Work....

...8.11.19... tarot: justice...

...all praise is due to the Creator of the womb from which derives mercy, compassion, and the number 9... a month of fasting that begins ends and travels in the name of the 1ness... the Most Merciful... the Most Compassionate...

...what justice is there when you scan through pages of web materials to see ads of people you do not look like... who may be of a different physical feature and image then you, even when/if of the same so-called race....?... how does that leave you feeling?... especially as they are touted as norm... this may be among scandinavians or nigerians or punjabis or cambodians or bengalis or... there is an ideal that may be pushed that is not you...

...what justice when my mom, after hearing my critique of the majority of foods in the supermarket as being bad for you says: "if they were so bad, why would they sell it?" i was floored... my mom ancient in her ways, moving through the math of the village even here in babylon... offering pots of biryani taller than her to anyone who comes through our door... her asking this question... made babylon feel that much more hurtful insidious sad...

...yes... why would they sell foods that inculcate carcinogens... layer the arteries with plaque... cause the pancreas to shoot insulin out of whack... etc. etc.???....

...justice... where is the justice? for anyone really... whether it be americans who were promised dreams... immigrants who were given hope... races that have been ordained a false sense of supremacy... races that have been prescribed a false sense of inferiority... etc etc... where is the justice?...

...justice for those struggling to make rent... to make a dream happen... to have Work that is meaningful and honors their talents... all praise is Always due...

...the justice card illustrates a lone king on his throne...like the king of swords...like suburbs... alone... lone... king... effortlessly holding a sword that is pointing up... perhaps a gesture to the One who Knows... he holds a scale in his left hand...signifying fairness...balance...

...the justice card avails you to stand in front of your deeds... to review what you have done... right and wrong... to see it for what it is to make amends to make changes in a way that benefit and grow you... it is not a judgement but an opportunity for you to do right by your Truth by what you Truly value...

...king of swords...8.9.19...

...king...call you King if you are in my inner circle... if that there is that ring... even though... even though i would want to salute you in person... even though i'd rather call you King everyday rather than the far and in between spaces that most relationships fall under...

...the sword is close to hand... sometimes plunging in... more near me than near to me... more inside than outside... you wonder why i would strut... you wonder why i no longer do... i learned the first noble truth...

...king of swords... a king perched on a throne alone partially on a tree lined neighborhood... partially in the clouds...

...a king of a castle... suburbs... the american dream... made it... you did... and now you sit alone... now you slouch... now you are on a throne... the king of your castle with no one to interact with... no wonder you hold a sword... a sword ready to plunge like a mass shooting...

...in the name of...

...perhaps the Truth will turn you off... leave you in a space of repulsion... material feels too good... it feels good when it is good... when it's around... before suburbs creep in... before it's over... so we hold on tight... embrace nightly... knowing the end is close... the end is coming... we are ending... and now we are texts... we are absentee king and queen... what happened to us?...

...king of swords... and now you wind down down the road... singing a song we all know...

,,,age is happening... time is happening... however wild and crazy... 

...tarot: wheel of fortune... 8.10.19

...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate... the Most Merciful...

...of course there is a wheel... circle... and if you are going in circles you are stuck in a warp... in a cess pool of senses... if i stayed today... perhaps a move towards a house... there are those saying no... there are those who Know... there is me...

...in a wheel turns happen... a landing... where did you get off?... from the train, the bus?... i got off in philly this weekend... the plan was that i would take steps towards manifesting the center... that i would eat sleep breathe deep and Connect...

...how are you spending your time? ammu asked... this led to the echo of my dad... walk back... i was doing it again... nothing... walking in a circle... walked around the suburban block... vapid... silence... people hidden behind closed doors... civilized and tucked in... going for a polite jog or walk... perhaps... if that...

...it is the king of the castle syndrome... egos bordered in fortresses of solitude..

...the wheel of fortune involves risk... like blackjack... like putting money down and risking it all... not knowing what will happen... hoping for the best...

...the card has a wheel in the center with roman writings on it... the wheel seems to be traveling through the clouds... there's a sphinx on the top of the wheel, there's some winged lions - all of them are engaged in reading... there's a fox that lays over the wheel...

...the sphinx represents ancient knowledge and the other species that circle the clock verify there devotion to this through reading... the fox man figure is laying back on the wheel's underside... he appears to be observant, quiet, taking it in...

...the wheel of fortune signifies the paassage of time and the key to not dropping off this churning... the key is to tap into ancient wisdom... Knowledge that will align you...

...by staying Connected to Knowledge... at every point... you keep from falling... you maintain focus on what you are here to do... Knowledge like that shared by krsna - action... discipline action arjuna... without attachment to nor focus on the fruits of that action...

...tarot... 8 of pentacles...

...in the traditional tarot deck, there is a cobbler like figure who is banging on a coin... there are 8 coins lining the right side of the card... off in the distance, behind him, is a town... he is by a tree... suggesting a retreat... suggesting perhaps a - "wait till i get my money right!!!"...

...he appears almost to be repairing and/or constructing the money...thus... literally making money...

...how do you make money?... how are you making money?... how much time do you spend away from things to work out your money game?... i don't... i spend my retreat time in asana... in culinary creativity... in writing and reflecting through my ruminations... in connecting with friends... in siesta-ing... in chopping it up with homies - biological and astrological...

..the figure in the card is working... hard... are you working...?... are you earning your keep?... that is... he is not holding a bag like a raccoon... with coins dripping out... he is putting in work... and in the process he is getting better at it... his diligence and single minded focus is paying off...

...but this card reminds me to get my money right... to take a step back and literally make money... literally... not just think about how... or create grand ideas for how this will happen... but spend time going over my finances and investing it in a way that will grow...

...it's important to note that the eight coins that appear line up on the tree... as if suggesting that he is growing money... and that money does and can grow from trees... but you gotta plant it...

...are you planting...?... what kind of seeds are you planting to make this money?... how will it grow you and those around you...?... the town n the distance for me suggests a consideration of how to use the money to grow and support community...

...some things to consider - single minded focus on a goal that if you reach will grow you and your tribe tremendously...

...stay focused on your craft... keep your eyes on the prize while being fully in the journey... and the pay off will be inevitable...

...tarot... temperance 8.5.19....

...monday... many are at work... jobs they love disdain dread enjoy seeking a way out of... many like me are in a mixed post of being here and not being here... behind screens and behind several other outfits... the gig economy...

...temperance... in the tarot of trees... the card reveals a tree that is vibrant, in full bloom... possibly in autumn... or the height of summer... it is scrunched though and slightly cowering... above it is a sun dipping towards the earth... and below the tree are rising tides...

...the sky is clear and it is the middle of the day...

...i immediately saw myself as the tree in this pic... that i may have been reaching too high... being arrogant in my flight... and like icarus, being scorched... then i thought however i look at it... there is a scale back required... if i am the sun here... i am sinking too low onto the earth and causing havoc on those below me... if i am the water... i could potentially drown the earth...

...the message is indeed temperance... to have equanimity... to not give in to the manamyakosha and fly away... through the overwhelm of emotion of impulsivity... as much as krsna tells arjuna to act... he is not telling arjuna to be impulsive but instead to operate from a place of neither pleasure seeking nor pain-avoiding...

...in the rider waite deck there is an angel seeming to either levitate or ascend from a body of water... he holds two cups in which he pours drink from one to another... like a chai-wallah... there is a sun that is either dawning or going into dusk... the sun appears like the crown of isa/jesus... symbolizing divinity... and the ascension towards this divine path...

...the angel appears calm as does the elements around him... they are in a space of full light... neither withering nor out of control... there is peace... all is peace... which requires/begs the question - what is peace for you?... what brings you peace?... again... impulsivity may give you a temporary high... but disciplined action as krsna reminds arjuna... will give You lasting peace... as siddhartha taught his students under the banyan... as the prophet muhammad reminded those around him to maintain a state of surrender through submitting the monkey mind/ego down 5 times a day... and as isa/jesus reminds us to maintain focus on building the houses in heaven instead of seeking temporary fame/gratification...

...the question then becomes... what is the disciplined action you/i need to do to Reach our Truth... to Actualize our Dreams...?...

...for me... as i ask this question today... i am reminded to plan... to come up with a backward design plan... instead of an impulsive dive... to be meditative.... Warrior in this dive... to do so not with perfection but breath... with udjaiyi breath... to see what i am working towards and move today accordingly... discipline that Reaches slight past the edge... to grow You...

...today... bring equanimity into your life through breath... through expansion deflation... through being a witness to the movements you make in thought and deed... through correcting/aligning as needed... to get you to You... towards your dreams... today record the end... keep the end in mind... as You take on the steps of today that will build towards this... Peace...

...tarot: the chariot...

...on the cliff... the tree is on the cliff... and the wind blows heavy in the direction of down... of leaning over... of the possible drop...

...it is hard to see the card at this time of day... after being in the presence of a fierce sun all day... even as i sat in shade... even as i crawled the slivers along the ecovillage in construction...

...the chariot... a chariot is in ancient greece... is ridden by the gods... by jupiter... also known as zeus... it is ridden by warriors leading the call to war... it is the meeting place of philosophy and spirituality as is the case for krsna and arjuna...

...the chariot is taking charge... embracing the war... rolling straight into it with all the heartbeat this drums... as possibility of death, capture, amputation, lynching, torture, loss all meld here... are all possible... the stakes are more than this job or that... this state or that state... do i move here or there... it is will i be inside a 4 x 3 walking in my own feces...?...

...this is the case though for those we choose to turn away from those who we in the west... we like me... who don't have to think about it... who could hear the news of the mass imprisonments in egypt, the right wing hindu militias in india, the pinochet-esque ruling marauders of brazil... and switch to a talk by teal swan or kate stillman or whoever your guy is...

...the chariot... getting on the chariot means that to be okay with your deepest Truth to Really pursue it will mean high stakes... give up the 6 figures for possibly no figures... give up the face of cool for the face of public enemy... give up the nonchalance for rejection... 

...warrior iii...

...warrior iii... what does it mean to be in warrior iii?... it doesn't appear before the tertiary series in ashtanga... which i am entering at the moment... playing with some of the poses while still working through some of the challenges for me in intermediate series...

...warrior i and ii appear in succession in both primary and intermediate as a way to loosen and strengthen the joints... to bring heat into the body... to carry the sun through ida and pingala channels... but warrior iii requires a depth of balance... it requires calling in the moon to balance the manipura chakra shooting its rays of sun... especially as you tilt from your center as your back curves subtly into a shield, as it is being held up by manpura...

...warrior three has many variations... this is one of them... this is namaste in warrior iii... it is paying homage to the earth today... as i stood on stage at socrates sculpture park and performed for the tree behind me... even as the audience that gathered for the afro-futrism concert left to watch them... to be spectators to a spectacle... even as i reminded some of those who watched me that the real performance was happening beside me by the linden tree, as its petals danced in nuances in the beating sun and still summer day...

we are watching you... a couple said...
that's wild i said... cause i am watching this tree here...
they chuckled and left to watch the concert...

i stayed behind and continued to practice... feeling the breadth of the tree... my friend marina stayed behind with me... leaving us alone on the stage... she snapped the pic above...

...warrior iii... it is to root in the Always and stay balanced through the moon... even as the heat of senses shoot towards the next new thing...

...tarot: judgement...8.3.19...

...the card came up after i shuffled and counted 9... the image was of a sad weak wilting tree, which was tilting over to one side...  it was under the grey of a cloudy day...

...today has been sunshiny... and when i saw the card... it resonated more than the cards of the past few days... although the cards of this past week have been full of bounty, sunshine, reward... this card of darkness resonated more... those cards reminded me to find the hidden treasure... the Gift of this manifestation of Being... but i have been feeling a bit uncertain... a bit of that what-am-i-doing-with-my-life... a bit of that how did i get to this point...?... where did i go wrong...?... how do i get out of it...?..

...my dad's wisdom of walk back echoes in my head a lot these days...

...i felt and witnessed the judge in me last night... after i watched a jason-bourne style action film... it was about a so-called middle-eastern terrorists who is freed from maximum security by his band of terror, and for him to brought back to justice a rebel intelligence agent must be brought back... it has twists and turns which make it interesting and compelling... but it is full of violence... of people being killed... of lack of justice... etc. etc... whatever the case i just didn't feel good after i finished watching it and the voice rung in my head - the judgement-voice... this voice asked what are you doing?... etc...

...the judge left me wanting to stay up and watch more t.v. to drown it out... now the judge exists... but the question is are you feeding it or transforming it?... i was feeding it by not going to sleep earlier... when my body wanted to give out... i told myself i should just give in to my senses - to "unwind"... i realized through this course of "unwinding" which i've done many a time in the future - that it was unhealthy... i could've honored my body... read a little, and slept... instead... by the time i went to bed... i was exhausted but not sleepy...

...so what is this card saying...?... why did i get it?... one way to look at it is that it affirms my current mood - i suck, i messed up, i can't get it right... i'm confused... i'm old... etc. etc... but i'm learning that the cards aren't here to tell us that... they only reflect possibility... the dark cards allow us to acknowledge and embrace the dark within us... they affirm that yes you do have these dark sides... but that doesn't mean relish in them... instead... this card is telling me to acknowledge these feelings... and look at what's causing it... get to the roots... and embrace the problem as the Gift... by embracing the resistance to dealing with it... that is... the problem... the judegements only exit because i suppress it... that i am not actively working to resolve/transform it...

...in traditional tarot, the judgement card depicts an almost scriptural judgement day... there are men women and children crawling out of their graves with their hands risen towards the trumpet blower... in islam, the trumpet blower blares twice - once during end times... to announce the return of jesus... as also described in revelations in the bible... and once to awaken the dead to rise for judgement day... 

...so what does it mean for me? for you?... according to biddy tarot:

"The Judgement card is calling you to rise up and embrace a higher level of consciousness for the service of your Highest Good. You are experiencing a spiritual awakening and realising that you are destined for so much more. This is your cosmic up-levelling! You hear the call and are ready to act. Tune in to a higher frequency. Let go of your old self and step into this newest version of who you really are.

"The Judgement card often indicates that you need to make a life-changing decision, but unlike those associated with the logical Justice card, this decision requires a blend of intuition and intellect. You may be at a crossroads, aware that any choice you make will bring a significant change with long-lasting effects. Tune in to your Higher Self, trust your judgement and know you are on the right path. If you still need clarity on the situation, look to your past and life lessons to guide you."

...yes... i Love this... burn the self to Know the Self... die before you die (prophet muhammad s.a.w)...

...how do i rise up and embrace this Higher calling? by embracing the wound... by really letting it bleed... how?... through doing it different... for me this means being public with my challenges... by being transparent... by la illaha illa la-ing in doing this... Knowing there is only You... i Surrender to You... by sharing my hurt and challenges and trusting that things will work out... by taking this hurt... by putting it on the table... and approaching it different... in a way of the wold that gulps poison and transforms it  to medicine...

...today i share my challenges with you... today.. in doing so... i also embrace that they are real and also a map for transformation... through Connect with my Higher calling...

...my challenges are not having a wife and kids and house and non-nuclear multi-family... is that i want to make this medicine man thing happen in a way that leads to thrive... and i believe i can... but feel lost... feel like i lose motivation... feel like i have to figure out the $ thing first instead of doing the work... what would be different is doing the Work... my Higher calling... this Calling is not to do the Work for only those who can afford it... nor for any specific group... but to all who need it... for my family members... for friends... by doing it... be directing my energy towards them... by asking for donations... but not being guided by who can or who can't or the money thing... but the importance of the Work as the Work of You... that i Am here to do... that the Work is more than about me and doesn't get done by me sitting in cafes and just writing about it... but by sharing my process with you... as in this course... and by going with that deeper Knowledge that if money were not a  factor... then i would be facilitating this ancient knowledge, supporting those who Know to be the teachers that they Are... and build the ashram community that Connects us towards our lineage -the Cosmos... courses a

...the honey locust...

...as soon as i step outside my building there is a grand, sometimes depressed looking tree. it is the honey locust. the tree itself is resilent and considered aggressive... like a weed, as it rapidly grows. it is native to these parts here, has a life span of 125 years, and is fruit bearing.

...this deciduous tree bears fruit in autumn... so the season is now... the fruit it bears are pods. the pods themselves are edible, and has been used both as food and medicine by american indians (as russel means, an instrumental member of the american indian movement (aim) has said, he prefers the name american indian, as anyone born here can be a native american).

...the "honey" title of the tree is a bit of a misnomer, as bees do not pollinate this tree, nor spend much time with it. instead, the honey name comes from the pods (or legumes) being sweet...

...some doctrines of signatures (used by western eclectic herbalists at the turn of the century and also steeped in ayruvedic herbal principles), is that the tree is resilient, as is illsutrated by eating being prolific in urban areas congested with pollution and people. additionally, a place like nyc has extreme seasons, the honey locust withstands this. one other point in terms of its resilience is that it is clearly able to grow despite the poor soli conditions of the city....

...the pods can be made into a tea and used to treat the measles, acide reflux...

...the leaves can be used as an anti-carcinogen, and as a pain-reliever....

...8.2.19... ace of cups...

...ace... aced it... the test... the Real One... after i ditched the papers and screens... after i quit my job and got to Work... after i realized there is only You... after the dead me became the ground i walked on... like a cemetery of me... like a casket that extended through the veins of the earth... what are you waiting for...?... it says... whispers so loud... idlib becomes my head... and the bombs of babylon shattering my hopes and dreams... 450,000 thoughts like syrians fleeing to turkey... to ottoman middleast... to a period of possibility... knowledge wisdom understanding that is handed to 144000... each of us have them... each of us have our tribe of 144000 that we have to meet... that we have to Connect with before its too late... who are they... why are they placed in our lives?... what about those whose hearts are sealed?...

...ace of cups... the cups bearing water... the movement of the emotional body... the mana-mya kosha... all praise is due... all praise is due-ing through this cafe... through it all... through time like it was los angeles forest fires spreading downtown like watts and a south central 1992... home of bodybags sent to el salvador being funded by c.i.s contras through weapons sales to iran and iraq to kill each other at the border... their spirits engulf the mud the dead me lays in... sometimes like wool... sometimes like a blanket of nails...

...ace of cups... emotions... the bearer of the utmost emotion... of damn... of wow... of what was that all about... of walking around in wow... of doing pinchanyurasana and flipping over... of going from standing to hand standing to splitting the hand stand, to stand to handstanding...

...ace of cups like the world like the emperor like the empress... all this week... all signifying this Truth... the ayat-Ullah...

...i'm crying everyone's tears sade says... water like tears like the emotional body brimming from this cup... spilling out... so much to give...

...in traditional tarot ryder waite deck... there is a hand below the chalice (cup)... reaching from the clouds... a dove peaks from above to get a taste... stars in the b.g... five streams flowing... each stream repping 5 senses... abundant in emotion... the hand from the clouds being the nexus between spiritual realm and here... the water streams into the ocean... and you are being blessed from the divine...

...so what does it mean that i am being offered such peace and love today... this overwhelm of joy?... how do i honor it...?... what do i need to do to live up to this offering...?... where is it?... shhh... it is in the offering... in having exchange with what is meaningful... of.. like yoga... like meditation... prayer... writing... cooking... walking... siesta-ing... cafe-ing... it is there... right before you... lean into it... through the practice of exchanging Your Gifts with others...