...embrace the wound... dress it... 1.31.21...

 

...in the name of ALLAH... in the face of a blizzard/// keep my eye in the eye of the storm... 

...today is sunday... and i forget whether january has 30 or 31 days... so it could be february... went through asana... vinyasa... forward and slide splits... skandasanas and half moons... side planks and pikes... was surprised to see how you can shift musculature when one finger is injured... 

...sliced my thumb yesterday... there was a great amount of blood that spilled and through the use of kitchen medicine as well as magnesium and neem oils (separately)... as well as using the cold of winter during a walk shortly after... i was able to Connect... to facilitate work with the One... in the healing process... initially i looked for a bandaid... something that is mass produced that i have identified as the way to patch a cut... but it would have been a waste... the cut was a slice... a gash and covered a range... i shut the gash by dressing it and then covering it with a paper towel folded and cut to fit... and then holding it in place with a rubber-band tightly tied around it... it felt too tight so that by the time i walked outside i let go of it... the stickiness of the blood and dressing loosely held the bandaid together... washed it and redressed it when i got back home... additionally soaked the paper-towel in olive oil... 

...wrote after this... doing a vinyasa in writing...warm ups like character profiles has been helpful in getting me in s a space of writing... i've been noticing that i love characters and writing about people and it makes me laugh and cry... and they bring the world out... they create a world... 

...and if you listen very hard you will find heaven is in the breath of Quiet... of moving effortless through writing... asana... breath... that is deep... Aligned... in a space of laillahaillala...

...stories Connect us to the Way... 1.30.21...

 

...asanas... require focus... breath... careful attention to nuance... to subtle channels of prana... where the blockages are... and to convey this to someone happens through storytelling the Way of the ancients of my parents of traditional peoples everywhere... heart to heart happens to story...

...do you know how to tell a story?... it's as basic to life as language... as communication... it has been the Way for millenia... it is why we have yoga and ayurveda and astrology and alchemy and the understanding of djinn... 

...the pyramids in giza and khartoum are merely stories concretized... they tell the story of the interaction between human life and extra-terrestrial... what is the story of tical of stonehenge... of easter island?... you can deduce the lessons from the story... if you get caught up in the microbiology... the detail... the anatomy and physiology... you will lose the story...

...babylon asks us is we are able to pay attention to detail... it is essential for babylon tasks... to multi-task... to make sales... the keep the ship going... the clouds sail regardless... the rain falls and snow lands like a feather... pay attention... 

...stories Connect us to evermore... a stairway to heaven... 

...full wolf moon intentions... 1.29.21...

 

...in the phase of... face of... facade of the full wolf moon i howled like i was a beat on the lower east side streets of a poetic moment of nyc/american history... a since americana... a drink i have at cafes wherever i am sitting into a  tradition of writers philosophers intellectuals artists revolutionaries... and none mutually exclusive... 

...january in the gregorian calendar experiences its last days... in the cosmic calendar we are two full moons in... the second full moon was potent... held deep Guidance for me as i drove through back streets of nj and p.a... listening to the music of branches in the brutal wind...

...the lesson this moon is to accept Guru... Guidance... from one who Knows ALLAH... 

...i've come to understand my mom as this person... she Knows... she holds Truth... she lives it... never used a swear word... never smoked... never drank... has Always been the force behind my dad and her three sons... the reason why we had a roof over our heads... the reason why we were fed and given a landscape of dreams to pursue...

...i Listen to her Guidance as i move through this month... by putting it (Knowledge) to use... by sharing it... in a Way that is the at once in worship and is pragmatic... inshALLAH... 

...full moon 28 jan 2021: need from others so they are needed... 1.28.21...

 ...there are those who Know... do you Know them?... they are humble... live a humble life... may have very little or a lot in the way of education... their eduction may be untraditional... they are masters of their craft... they Love deeply... Light a room with their Love... listen... stay in a Frequency of Love... without cuss words or words that hurt the biosphere... do you Know them?...

...for me these are village people... people like my mom and dad and brother... people who are deep... my mom has been cooking for 60+ years... her cooking is more than rote... it is intricate... there are dishes she prepares for saturday that she starts on monday... do people of the modern era know these dishes... we seem to have a 10minute bandwidth... if it takes more than that... let alone 5 days... she cracks and grinds coconut using a machete... squats and cuts... ancient Ways... a Way that gets lost in the midst of instagram and youtube and self promotion and narccisism and everyone seeking to get a name out there... 

...ones who Know are lost in babylon... get lost in babylon... they are not on our tongues the way paul stametes and tony robbins or oprah are on our tongues... 

...gurus Real gurus move in Quiet... 

...Real yogis move in Quiet...

...sufism is the path of Quiet... better yet... True Spirituality is the path of Quiet... and vibrancy... of Love... of giving and sharing... of moving with Purpose... one that is beyond you... beyond me... for the All... in the one... 

...blessed full moon... in your fast keep your heart open and tongue wet with ALLAH... in your fast remain nourished so that no one knows you are fasting... in your fast get empty and Listen... Really Listen... and Work... 

...this full moon... in january... as we enter brighter days... as the air gets lighter... as the cold smacks heavier... reflect on what foods movements art is appropriate for this season... go deeper in your relations... like they were blankets... need those around you... no man is an island... share your need... i need you... i need your wisdom and insight and opinion and help... we need to be needed... be transparent from a place of Love and boundary.. compassion and clarity... 

...looking for a guru in your jugular... 1.27.21...

 ...in the driveway of a friends house in p.a. watching the trump 2021 signs begin to cripple with the gusts of 19  degrees... pull out and into the back streets of suburban america to find signs of life that are not strip malls... seeking a drink that is not alcohol... a conversation that is not about a product... a hang out after... maybe...

...maybe we could still make this work... maybe we could let our eharts do the talking... what would happen... maybe babies... maybe baby... maybe we end up in the suer like everything else that gets discarded... seeping into a landfill or an ocean to suffocate other life forms... 

...in the name of the Most... the One... that which we in our constant speech have no clue of... and in our deepest Quiet... Know...

...what does this mean for so-called gurus like sadhguru who deposits ads of himself talking spirituality... and talking and talking... people like osho who seems to sit with a mirror in front of him and swears and rolexes and rolls royces his teachings from gated community to gated community... and somehow i'm supposed to worship these people... really?... if you are... what the hell is up with you?...

...india like brooklyn is a brand... like connotations of brooklyn cool india is spirituality... vs right wing hindu fundamentalism that blows up places of worship that are muslim sikh... non-hindu... that india is the greatest disparity of the monied in the same country as the impoverished... i could go on... what i will say is watch out for brands and branding... go with your local/regional/organic/holistic...

...spirituallity exists everywhere... it is the air... it is our breath... ALLAH is as Close to us as our jugular... 

...receive the Gifts of breakup... 1.26.21...

 

...in the name of ALLAH... 

...a wish... for you and for your mother and father and aunties and uncles and siblings and grandmamas and grandpapas and great aunts and great uncles and second and third and fourth and 19th cousins until we are a relation... until we are family at a dinner of aloo-gobi in a vegan biryani on 6th street... under christmas lights and the sitar and tablas of the players that sit by the window and we with glasses of ithacan spring water held up in the air... toasting to our we-ness... feeling the ecstasy of our together... 

...we should do this more often, she says... he agrees and i watch... long for the wife and kids to be at the table with... the table grows empty as our family departs... as our great big people of cosmos family dissipates into the A and 6 and N trains and i end up in the last car and you happen to go in the same direction.. to astoria... and even though we had the talk yesterday... you ask do you get why?... 

...yes... i think... but my heart is telling me differently... my heart is telling me that we should grow in our exploration... in our play... in our Love in Surrender to our Highest... in our yuj yoga... i want children you say... i want someone who can pay bills who has a steady income who has a home... 

...nothing else needed to be said... i have been on the whims of Lovers who accepted my waywardness... you are a gypsy she said... hey gypsy, my mom says... calls me... when she isn't calling me yogi... when she isn't calling me cafe for spending all my time and money in cafes that let me sit... that let me get lost in  words... in a language that comes close to the ethereal that my mind bends into like a drop back in outer space...

...i Realize she is right... and i have this Gift now from her on growing fuller in my path so that i embody it int eh panchamayakoshas... so that yogimedicineman isn't a conversation on what i do... but you see it in my Work... and in my subsistence... and in my thrive.. as it will mean we thrive together... inshALLAH... 

...alchemize pain into art... 1.25.21...

 

...gave up the harmless looks to look harmless and meek... to gain your looks and attention i jumped from three stories and took classes on backflipping... i bought $300 army jackets and diesel jeans when i knew you would be at the office/party/dinner... i ran myself into exhaust... youtubing videos on 6 packs and hiring a personal trainer to turn my pockets of belly fat in geometric lines that you could admire,... to turn the twigs of my arms into 18 wheelers you'd want to get in...

...you did... you got in for a ride... and it became the ride... our ride... down the 66... america's favorite route for cross country... we got beer and ice creams in the old diners along the arizona coast line... a boardwalk that bordered the desert... and the cacti that sprung made it clear that we were storming through a once ocean floor... and that now the ocean was above us.. growing black and heavy in the skies ahead... and we drove right in to the eye of the flash floods...

...flashbacks of times that happened and didn't... dreams and moments that seem just as fictional... to compose a symphony for an organ pipe that you handed me in my sleep... a figment of my imagination and yours... so there was no surprise when you received and played it along my shoulder like i was a piano... and it felt good to be touched so i stayed the night... knowing that like all relationships in the left lane... we would be a footnote to friends... and the only reason you felt more was because i wanted something... badly... and it had very little to do with you.... and i know that... do you?... 

...do you see that your desires are what is keeping you hurt and disappointed...?... can you aspire without desire?... can you reach with vision and attempt to manifest without precluding and giving up because it didn't hapoen... feel the pain and give thanks that you could feel it... then transform it... make it into art... write a poem... a short story... a novel... make a collage... a painting... jewelry... pain is the Gift to learn about your Self... and Gift the world... 

...walls dissipate when You Love... 1.24.21...

 

...like Om... although krsn murti would disagree... although the theosophists would be hurt disappointed... especially the woman who saw krsna murti and his brother as the One... maybe this is the problem... when we view someone as the One... i see my parents and brothers as the One... i see how Amazing they Are...

...who do you see as the One...?... maybe the pedestal is bound to crash... maybe the hurt will be that much greater when it does... hurt after all shares the same denominator is pleasure... the greater the desire the greater the pain... thus the dangers of lust, desire, wanting... you only want when you lack... 

...You... Royalty... lack nothing... and in turn Everything... walls dissipate... You walk right through... 

...live this... through breath... believe it... cease being the shell...

...in the name of ALLAH... lessons abound... day 5 trillion on the planet... 

...lafayette holds a moment of magic for me... a period of youth... of fun... of intoxication... of lovers and seekers... of being adult and child... of play and drama... of theatre... and the poor player that struts on the stage for a moment... 

...today i grow deeper in this Quiet... in this Lover... in walking through walls... in touch from touch mySelf... in voice from a throat chakra tuned in through sahasara... in art from pain... today i delve in painting the world as i imagine it... a place of beauty... of Connection... commUnity...

...Love story: like holding onto water... 1.23.21...

 ...beginning middle end... another relationship begun... wrangled through concluded... another friend no longer... another lover a memory...

...the story structure is rooted in life... there is no need to think fiction... our realities are full of the stuff of story... conflict... anxiety... distress... wild winds that keep us blowing in the wind... dust...

...the beginning: a walk and talk in the park; a matcha... a stroll to her workplace... a walk through the gallery... a subway ride back to our neighborhood... a goodbye... lets hang soon... then the inciting incident: the second hang... at the park by the cafe... matcha and talk... yoga in the winter below a sculpture garden... amidst the turmoil of the east river... a walk home... a boost of Connection... a departure... a subsequent text - i really enjoyed myself... yeah me too... want to get together for a quick minute for some coffee?... sure... 

...the middle: new years eve... in her apartment... in her kitchen... tea and talk... she eats dinner... you listen... unveil gifts for the evening... a journal... pens... sage... a young living northern lights blend... tarot... we relocate to the living room... burn sage... share tarot readings... journal... share our writings... apply the oils on chakras... midnight... coalescence... sleepover... reveal the move... the moving away... to another state... oh man... i don't think i can do it... she says... you leave on butterflies... 

...text streams: the greatest new years ever... thank yous... lets connect soon... hang once more before leaving... at her place... spend the evening... leave before midnight... 

...leave the next day... last minute packing... leave for another state... in the drive she appears in his spirit... he calls... they speak for an hour... in his weeks there they speak several nights... hours sometimes... and then he returns... and its past the time... he hadn't heard form her in a few days... he senses something... he texts and no response... he texts against he next day.. .they get together for a coffee.. .and meet again,,, in the late afternoon... and again in the evening.. at her place... there's something i need to talk to you about... she can't do it... the long distance... yes... it makes sense... they hold... like grabbing water... thats what he thinks... that's what he thinks this all is... attempting to grab water...  

...he leaves... wonders about smoke... about whiskey... about fried foods... has a midnight meal of veggies... retires... returns to ritual.. to yoga... without skipping a beat... the teachings of the prophet (s.a.w)... constancy... stay rooted in that which is Real... everything else is like grabbing water... all praise is due... Love... Love ... Love... he feels nothing but unconditional Love... and now his feet won't touch the ground... 

...nidra-smrittis... 1.20.21...

 

...today... witness war... watch it with equanimity from the teachings of maharishi patanjali... rminds me to witness the vrittis as they ripple through the chitta... cause modifications that follow me into sleep and cause states of nidra - tamasic, rajasic, sattvic... so that even sleep is a nidra-vritti and needs to be transformed... 

...the images of sleep stem from smritis - memories that defy time... that take experience from time and encapsulate them into memories... continuation of those experiences that we refer back to even in our physical movements in how we come out of our places of habitation... of how we walk through the door... of what we say to who and when and with what tone... memories are smriti-vrittis that become us... so that we are no longer us... Self... but a compilation of memories we begin to believe we are...

...in this was we become nationalities and races and ethnicities and easily irritated or verly sensitive or need to manage our anger or are prone to lash out and over react and dogmatic and uncompromising and quick on our toes or heavy on a couch eating bag after bag of potato chips... 

...we release them through facing them... through meditation... the Witness... through Quietness that lets the floodgates of Love wash over these memories... 

...in the name of ALLAH we become che to our ego... we build transcontinental revolution and transform our landscape as we know it... a new governing body that listens... forgives... responds instead of reacts.. is lucid... transparent... lets go... loyal and tribal... universal and galactic... ashtanga 5th 6th 7th... epics like the rubbaiyat and 100 years of solitude... medicine like a poet... 

...in the breath humility of the One.. al Raqeeb...

...conflict resolution from You... 1.19.21...

 ...Always... You... and then everything else melts... like the argument... like the looks... the disapproval... the heat that generates... the sadness that permeates... 

...You remind me that it's a moment... that i've had many of these moments in the past... school yard fights...arguments... knocked out... terminations from jobs... we don't need you... you're not doing this correctly... you stole some books... you're out... clippings with friends and lovers... it's a wrap... this isn't working out... etc... etc...

...in Your Infinite Wisdom I gaze into the eyes of s/he who i am having conflict with... sometimes from what they bring to the table... their inner conflicts... and sometimes from my own... sometimes it's me that catalyzed the conflict without even realizing it... and You remind me of this Gift... how here is Your chance to grow Closer to Me... and i take it... and breathe... and Align... and gaze... and ask... and listen... without interruption... without rebuttals... even when what is said is different from my understanding...

...instead i Love... listen... Connect... offer compassionate acknowledgement and disagreement... own up and offer my human perspective... and ask more questions until we arrive at Love... and the i let go... 

...in the name of ALLAH... the chiita-vrittis are of five kinds and even pramanaha...which is considered right knowledge by the one after this which is considered wrong knowledge is subject to elimination as it is a vritti and all vrittis keeps us from Self Awareness... from a cloudless lake... 

...draw boundaries... embrace the gift of assault... 1.18.21...

 

...in the name of the Most High... in You and ALL Beings... 

...and then there is us... the deranged... the entitled... the world owes me something... the narcissistic... the moral and socially destitute... the desire mangled... the spend crazed... the self-delusional-mirror in hand zombies... the me-me-me... let me tell you about me... the irked at everyone and everything... the healer-misanthropes... the socially concerned conceited... the conversational megalomaniacs... the me and my people are the most oppressed... the look at me...

...and the list goes on... and so does the mantra... the mantras... the dhikr.. .the peace and Love to All Beings as stated at the end of both buddhist and yogic practices... the Rahman Rahim... Most Compassionate Most Merciful repeated several times a minute... 

...and yet... this paradox... of living with ourselves... living with this level of self-delusional self -involved... so how/where do we find balance?... how do we recognize Self in the trumps kanyes hillarys...beyonces ...?... the ones who may be on the ground level... the ones we are surrounded by in our cricles... how... 

...Love... Always come back to breath and give thanks and praise for this breath... for ALLAH... for this opportunity to be in this body and engage in the world... you could just as easily lose the breath and not be here... just like that... so while you are here... while you breathe... be in a state of gratitude...

...two... give thanks for the wound... the opportunity that the problem presents... an alcoholic friend... a megalomaniac who spends your 45 minute car ride talking non stop and smoking non stop... and does this for the next 45 min stretch and the next hour or 4... the opportunity is in the pain... the pain is feeling violated... of penetrated without consent... of robbed of precious time... the pain then asks the question - what can you do to honor your sense of honor?... the resolve could be to draw boundaries... to confront... to ask/share for Quiet for boundaries from a place of Compassion... 

...three... before you do this... a preceding step is to Close and Connect... to return to Source... and in doing so Breathe... deep... laugh... nod... cry... blow... open your eyes... take action... from this place...

...four uphold this as not a fixed but cardinal sign... something you get to keep practicing... through presencng... as it comes up... vs a one time thing that you are over and done with... headstand is impossible if you only do it once a year... it's a daily practice into second nature... 

...breathe the perfume... the notes blended through various lives to give accents... to lift... for ascension... for chittas to be free of vrittis and for self to recognize Self... in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate... the Most Merciful... 

...make your work a daily easy to get into... 1.17.21...

 

...revise... revising... re-visualize -  to re see... to see again... how can you see again with fres eyes... ?... take a walk... move... release... handstands... drop backs... hot cold shower... fast... jumping jacks... come back to your writing... re-read it.. revise... 

...there are method to revision... triage method... there is the reading of the plot structure... the one page that you use as a blueprint to give you a sense of where you are going or would like to go... and then you compare this with where you are at at this point.. how does this chapter, this scene serve the overall goalls of the story... there is the using of check lists: are you hitting the senses...?... is there enough distinction in voice from one character to another?... is there clear conflict... is there anticipation... dread... immersion... and then resolve that only leads to a new conflict... this should be foremost... this constant going through the wringer... the working to untangle.. the untangling to find only a larger web... 

...if you are struggling to get into your writing... to get back in... use the 2 minute rule... start with a quick 2 minute free write... start with a quick plot exercise... where you build conflict... work towards it... resolve only to find greater issue... do blueprint exercises using different plot outlines... do quick sensory freewriting exercises... do show don't tells... 

...then build on this... have these exercises available.. easy to find and see and thus work on,.. have it as post its on your laptop... architecture it to be visible... 

...then Work... do it now... 

...need to Know You... 1.16.21...

 ...as Always,,, You... Everything... it's You... 

...Surrender to You through these practices... through the bowing down... the asana... pranayam... veganism... writing... these writings written on the a.c.t.g codon from my father's chromosomes linking me with his hand... and his mind... and the pen that has been an extension of his brilliance... 

...a.c.t.g in these hands that cut, chop, shop, prep, love, marinate cook the foods that my mom has been whipping together like manet's, dali's, khalo's without the fame... but anyone who has tasted her food Recognizes the Real... and in Recognizing also realize the fallacy of instagram and social media apps where pics of a dish you curate for likes go up... and your technique shared... and somehow you get 30k likes and my mom who breathes cooking... who knows intricacies only 50+ years of practice can bring will get 3 likes... from her sons... if she were to post... and she doesn't... nothing to sell...

...and this brings me up... reminds up to stay in the realm of Real... and not look for guidance from those who worship and in turn are good in the lower frequencies... if you want  to make bank follow jay z and tony robbins... follow those who worship material and money and stuff... if you want to get a 100k followers for you i.g. follow those who have that kind of following... influencers... spend your time learning how to be an influencer... but if you want to be if you want to learn to Align... to Connect... to be influenced by Source and influence from Source... disappear... break free of the cage of these algorithims... listen only to Me... 

...in the name of ALLAH... no one but One... 

...get lost in the Truth of your action... do the Work as it needs doing... forget what you heard about how to break in to this industry or that industry... or that you need to give your work away for free... that its the only way to get known and trusted... gain Trust from the One... and offer to only those who are ready... 

...this - yoga... aurveda... Spiritual teachings... are sacred Knowledge... not to be sold... not to be given away for free... we need to know you... forget past employers... who are your family members... let me talk to them... who are your friends and enemies... let me talk to them... here''s the application... you think it's difficult to get into yale?... 

...all praise is Always due... 

...move with You... Closer to the Heart... 1.15.21...

 

...how do you deal with those who are unkind, angry, scathing, cynical, brusque, negative, etc, etc.?... especially when they take up space... have and abuse power... have privilege (and this could be someone as broke and brown as i've been in various parts of my life - you can still occupy a whole lot of privilege)... ?... 

...breathe deep... Connect... and then the rest is the rest... whether this means ignoring them, crying, laughing in their face, smacking them stupid... telling them you love them... i don't know... only you can Know through Connecting... that Connection will Guide You... 

...but whatever you do... confront... deal with the situation... and this may mean letting it go... as there are things and people you need to attend to... this may mean looking at the person and not saying a word... 

...one Truth leads to another... just as deceit leads to more deceit... Give... move from Your heart... from a place of honesty... of reverence... of fearlessness... of laillahaillala... this Truth will lead to Truth... 

...in the name of ALLAH... 

...the Most Compassionate... the Most Merciful... 

...there are some that say that the language of ALLAH is math and math then the key to the universe... i could see how this could be true... given how much we have accomplished as humans in the way of technology, of nanoscience... of doing brain surgery using a.i... of landing ships on mars... of drones... of these phones we are locked into... mathematics... 

...but then there are some that would say poetry is the language of ALLAH... and this resonates with me as language goes through a process of derangement... of becoming insensible... of trying and letting go... like a qawwal... like a recitation of the Qur'an... 

...the only Truth is Truth... so move from this place... inshALLAH... and everything else... 

...here i go... in the name of the most... the major planets and solar guides that freakonomics couldn't fit into a package and strangle into the plastic ocean... the One that is not the one you worship at concerts and at parties who speaks information and esoterics through books and hearsay and trends... unimpressed by what you say about retiles and aliens and ayurveda and tantra and siddhis... Connect with hearts.. like my tribe... those who Know... this may explain why i know few other vegans or yogis or writers... because i'm drawn to hearts... i see You...

...we are mycorhizzal beings physically and spiritually... 1.14.21...

...there are mycorrhizal networks that transmit love, stress, fear... that spread hormones and cytokine signals... within the forest network...

...the elders get wind... they pray... the mother grandmother grandfather tree share resources wisdom... they tap seamlessly into their wisdom traditions... 

...there is no second guessing my mothers prayers... her daily reading of the Qur'an... her spending hours in the kitchen creating culinary genius... there are no books or youtubes she references... there is no second guessing that the education system inculcates us with... there is complete confidence in the lineage of the ancient Ways that links her neural networks with my grandmothers and great-grandmothers... 

...our mycorrhizal networks are also below ground... they are below our skins... in the bundle of nerve plexus and central and peripheral nerves... but even below or beyond this... they are networks that Connect our deoxyribonucleic acid with that of generations before us... back to earlier times... to muhammad (s.a.w)... jesus... moses... buddha... heru... set... zoraster... mirtha... krsna... ibrahim... the prophet muhammad (s.a.w)... 

...we are before this... before these bodies and past them... with listening... careful listening we can tap in... tune in... without expectation - the world... the Universe... the Infinite... Al Ikram... the Essence of Everything... 

...shhh... this opportunity is vital... take it... take the axe to the prison wall... do it now... Quietness... - rumi... never never give up... keep manifesting Your dreams... inshALLAH... 

...Love... move from here... 1.13.21...

 

..."it's better to feel pain than nothing at all," the lumineers tell us in stubborn love... 

...stubbornness keeps us from beign supple... it makes us fragile and brekable... like trees stolen fromthe forest and rerooted in astoria, queens, separate and distance from their siblings... 

...the forest speaks... their tongues, brains, touch are below ground... only half what you see in the forest is above ground... only half of what you see of me is here... actually... it's only 1/100th... the rest you don't see... and i don't see you... when i am only seeing your picture... 

...at some point we became walking photographs... snaps... selfies... kodaks that walk with shoes from the market... new and raw from the wounded bufallo it was skinned from without permission... if you want my skin to make sneakers that you'll toss in a few months because it's out of style... i may very likely protest... tell you no... set fire to my insides so my skin is beyond use...

...aligning with the cosmos... with no clue... have no clue how any of this works but it makes sense to explore... to apply a sanctity... for my abbu this happens through activism... through challenging the maya... through reading and extrapolating news to make it available for the rest of us... no one pays him to do this... in fact they exploit his intellectualism knowing he's not a man of money... has been scraping all his life... but somehow... through his amazing resourceful Loving pragmatic wife... has been able to share his Love for the world... through his Knowledge...

...and if you're in Love you are in tune... walk in Love... breathe it... 

...spread your Love... 1.12.21....

 

...veganism ties in the relation of interspecies - animal life of ground air and water... it draws to the foreground the impact animal farming has on our earth and water supply and the emissions to our air... it requires us to be more mindful about ecosystems and their sanctity... about what we put into our body and the hands that touched it...

...of course veganism could be a fad... and individual choice... about losing weight... proving a point... but when you go deeper... when it is from a place of yuj - yoga - union... you are required to face your Maker... you are embedded in tawhid - the One-ness of ALLAH - hence the 99 are One... 

...capricorns... the goats can accomplish this more easily due to their discipline... their ability to climb with single minded focus... pragmatic in their climb and in setting their goals... aquarius' offer us a bit more of the dream... of the world of space and air... of helping us reconceptualize hearty meals with vegan preparation... of thinking outside the box... of being free thinkers... and as such may invite us to enter the realm of their mind which they are in often... if you are lucky enough to be part of their inner circle... 

...veganism is a purpose... with religious elements like proseletyzing... of seeking converts... but for the good of all... a shared purpose in spirituality is essential... if everyone goes vegan there is still the matter of these bodies coming and going... of sensory addictions to sights and sounds... tastes and touches that cuse alcolhlism and sex addiction... sugar binges and violence... 

...in the name of ALLAH... i realize in my practice today how quickly the 2:45 go in practice... when the focus is not on time but of getting through certain pose sequences... go through certain writing sequences everyday... certain medicine making and cooking sequences... of clinic and karma yoga... of love making... all of it is Love making... sharing/making use of what You Know is Love making... 

...Work for Purpose 1.10.21...

 

...in the name and breath of... 

...the name is important... it tells us who/what we are dealing with... in my fmaily's culture we never refer to people by their name but by their relation-kinship to us... hence kala vs foofa vs mama... deeply sophisticated... i will start using this language...

....language and how it enters you is important... if language is coming from books that are in the frequency of expert of having it down then it is the language of babylon... it is the the frequency of one attuned to babylon... sometimes this is in the form of rock, hip hop, r&b, pop... sometimes it is in the form of t.v. internet cells... sometimes it is in the language of those who appear to be on a path of spirituality... in babylon the seeming is the most important to see through...

...Trust in the ancient Aligned scriptures and texts stories traditions... they are steeped in a Higher Ground... they were not looking to sell as many books as possible... jesus nor muhammad were looking to get people to like their youtube channel or instagram pics or sell a program that they could receive consignment/commission/money from... 

...in aligning with your dhamra (law/shariah)... align with the natural realm... get away from the self help section... get away from the modern day gurus who colonize social media like a graffiti tag all over the 6 line... like a brand name all over the bodies of the young...

...and of course they do... we are all seeking connection... a way to fit in... to stand out... to be cool... to have something to connect over... 

...Connect over what is Real... through meditation... prayer... asana... dhyna... pratyahara... salat = Connection... and then you can dua - ask... 

...draw your boundaries at first if need be... but the embody Your Purpose and speak boundries from here... this means deeper Connection with others not greater isolation and alienation that makes you think you are somehow better than others... this is neither a competition nor a product... this is Life... here and hereafter...

...as i transition from the babylon realm of education... i steep in Work... Work that is to build an Us... in relation to You... through the Gifts that You (everyone in my life - ammu abbu cb bb....)... have bestowed upon me... yoga... ayurveda and the ancient medicine i carry... nutrition and herbalism... counsel and facilitation... to do this and in the doing fumble forward as new roadblocks come up... 

...what are the roadblocks that are present for you? ... what do  you need to get to the next level?... 

...Trust in the Law of the Oneness... 1.9.21...

 

...in the name of ALLAH... Everything... if you disbelieve visit the graves... if you are sedentary watch your fruits and vegetables that you haven't gotten to... the ones you keep meaning to do something with... if you don't eat fruits vegetables or whole foods than your proof is in the processed foods... they have lasted on your shelf for months years for a reason... frankenstein...

...and what if you do...?... what if you do recognize that Everything?... kindness... living with Purpose in cooperation... cooperative economics are an embodiment of the divine design... observable in the ecosystems... you can call it permaculture and credit bill mollison and rightfully so... but also recognize that it is the traditional way of most peoples before the god-complex... before we colonized plants land other species people and now ourselves with a.i... 

...the virus is a microchip airborne through false media... spreading like wildfire until you and i have secured our lawns with picket-fences that look like muzzles on dogs that bite...

...all praise is due for air... for breath... for prana... for this cosmic dance through space-time... to yoga to recognize that space time is bendable based on where your center of gravity lies... finding yourself after an hour or two of practice that the people around you have aged and you have been closer to the end of the univers which of course itself is a beginning ...

...dervish through these tears... through the dance between capricorn and pisces... the pragmatic confidence of the astute circumspect observer and the playful profoundly empathetic kind compassionate socialy-ambidexterous pisces... i didn't forget you aquarius and those on the cusp like my brother... my Lovers...

... a Lover is those who you are Connected with in the Way of the Beloved... your intimacy with them draws you Closer... all Glory be to the Essence... all praise and gratitude for the King of Kings... the Source of Peace and Distress... the Distressor who provides us distress as a gift to seek through... to unfold and wrangle with to identify those parts of us that are misaligned... that cause us separation from the One... the ikram which penetrates everything as the One is the Essence of ALL..

...what causes you distress?... perhaps a job... perhaps people who rub you wrong... whose moods are a lot... perhaps it is what you believe you are lacking... untangle these things... how?...

...leave the job... quit to do Your Work... the Work will sustain you... go deeper in the Work... it will keep you in a space of tranquility equanimity... unfettered by the anger hatred -isms of others... you will only have compassion for them while maintaining focus on Your Work... have faith that they will Work it out and tell them as much... from Love... Love You... Always... 

...retreat to Self... 1.8.21...

 ...friday... jan 8th... 2021... in the gregorian calendar... and in the calendar of the One-ness... it is day 0000000000000000.... nothing into nothing... Love supremes over insurrections into capitals that should always be lower case in Surrender to capitalizing only You... 

...and if i were to say anything more than this i clearly would reveal that i don't know... and it's true... i have no clue... i have no clue how i get into these yoga poses other than some basic elements... a commitment to time in a space of dedication to this practice... a determination to go to my edges... to embrace them... to kindle fire... warmth... the sun first... before becoming a substantial fire... a star that can offer Light to these intricate poses... to these areas of uncertainty...

...often i fall... i don't make it... and sometimes it's months or years... and it gives me teachings... that i am hiding... i am avoiding the depth required to get there... that i have embraced the complacency of fear... and in knowing this... if return to space-time in this practice...

...asana practice is only possible through deep humility... through Surrender... through compassion to self and for Self... for the amount of blessing you have been bestowed... all praise is due... 

...today... jumma-mubarak... today... effacement... today Reaching for You... 

...a retreat in Self... through a cosmic journey... through Guidance... through the Quiet movement through asana... meditation... writing... listening to chants... chanting... through walks in nature... building and witnessing fire... through bodywork... through stargazing... through community Connection... in the name of ALLAH... retreat through exercises of the mind... to rethink thought processes... through emotional connection... to connect with your feelings... your hurts your joys... through childhood... pivotal moments... through connection with others... social interaction.... through connection with food... sanctity of being fed and feeding... through aesthetic... artisanship in all that you do...

...in the name of ALLAH... anything is possible... and the possibilities endless... so long as you Align... then gardens and rivers that run through them... then medicine gardens at home with lights that engage the sun... if only you would think... 

1.7.21 transforming from addiction...

 

...design... there are 12 steps of design in permaculutre... 12 steps in the alcoholics anonymous program that is underlined by 12 principles... all of which are spiritual... this 12 step program has become the basis for many other addiction recovery programs... including marijuana... sex... heroin... 

...addiction can apply to anything that voltages the senses... it is an attachment to that sense and the sensory response... for instance... witnessing sex... along with the sounds that go along with this may be enough for a guy to get aroused... this physical arousal to a 2-dimensional stimuli then can lead to a physical action... this is a perfect example of psycho-somatic... the screen and the sound are both psychological... they are just images... and sound... but they translate into a physical response... in this case, an erection.... this erection than is enough to seek the reward... the reward is the feeling of releasing semen... of course... the paradox is the second the semen is released, the downward spiral occurs... 

...why do we experience this sense of reward... our brains are wired to produce children... by impregnating a woman we are rewarded... as the final product of an orgasm is the seed... the seed can potentially bear fruit... just like a fish that releases thousands of eggs and only some of them survive... we release thousands of semen with the chance of only one to coalesce with female egg...

...biologically ses makes sense... but what if it's not biological... what if it's just something we do because we want to get off... because we want to experience that sense of high... that reward...?... then it is pleasure seeking we are after... this can happen 2-dimensionally - porn - or 3 dimensionally - sex... in both cases... it is a constant seeking of this reward... then it is an addiction... 

...is it good or bad... more than just morally... although morality should be a factor... it is physically and spiritually horrible for you to be in this place of pleasure seeking... it is injurious to your body and chemistry... it is horrible for your brain and how you engage with the world... it leads to a domino of behaviors and ways of being that are impacted... and spiritually it builds greater and greater separation as you have successfully made an object in the maya a point of deification... 

...how do you get out of it?... embrace the wound that has led to this... how?... journal... reflect... go deep... interrogate... make peace with the damage... meditate on it... let go... from a place of Love... see it for what it is... merely an object... and a subjective response... the mind... the mind chooses... have empathy for the weak mind that engaged in this engrossment from a place of hurt... lacking... deficit... and embrace that which you Are... Infinite... atman... Brahma... 

...grow deeper in the mediation... prayer... movement that aligns your body with the cosmos... food that Connects you... words that enrich You... music that draws You Closer... and in this way you have shifted the diet of the wolf... feeding the one that is in sattva and letting die the egoistic one that is in tamas...

...in this Way... You will transform... 

1.6.21 work village

 

...my Lord... i say it to You every time we meet... whether it's in fall creek in ithaca or the coffee and matcha spot in astoria... or in brooklyn... in your room... one of the many planets whose houses are in pisces and aquarius... ages in transition... 

...we are epochs in a phantasmagoria... an ending that is heard in the sigh of an osho audience Realizing she never needed him... that his hisses are probably from the necessary release of helium from his way to big head... that somehow has breathed life into sadhguru and his get fame or die trying... 

...the modern age... modernity... post modern... recreate space of the subaltern... derrida and duchamp... names and words... erasure... of a period... post college search for self in the hollow of being suddenly thwart unto institutionlessness... 

...that's it... for most of our lives we are in these institutions that require us to engage with others... to be in social academeic environs... so part purposeful... part fun... ideally speaking... and suddenly high school is over... college is over... the military service at its end... done... now its time to be grown up... isolated... alone... alienated... engage in alienated labor... with people you zoom with... people who will never call you again... and on to the next...

...build meaning... build with people you are building a life with... get Close to your family and tribe... let your Work draw You Closer to Your family and not further apart... 

 ...there are self help gurus... celebrity gurus... oshos and sadhgurus... and then there are those who move in Quiet... who Work without ego... who are not looking for the selfie... whose self esteem isn't based on other other people looking at them and singing their praises and looking to them for guidance... True Guidance comes only from the One... and all of us have access to this...

...if you are looking for guidance in jay z or tony robins... in rihanna or ellen... you are bound to hate yourself... to feel your soul and spirit strangled... why?... you are looking for an island to reflect upong and they are are the mass that has formed out of our plastic debris in the ocean... then who?... who can/do you follow?...

...ask yourself about the celebrities you follow... who do they worship follow?... if what you find is that they worship material.. that they are driven by fame and others knowing and worshipping them then rethink this person...reevaluate... 

...if on the other hand this person seeks no name no fame... is humble... is in a state of Surrender to the One... is one who shares... is sharing... and Guides from this Divine inspiration... whether it be through writings... illustrations/paintings... yoga... music... then follow that person... this is an arif-Ullah... one-who-Knows... 

...the Guidance is before you... use it... it is in the skies and trees and land... it is in how you put this combinaiton in your body... it is how you as an elemental being engage with the elements... it is you Connecting with You through what is before us... 

...hence the rituals of islam... hence the fie times of day of bowing this monkey mind ego... hence the hadith and the hidden practices - "walk through life like a traveler with your grave besides you"... hence the keeping your tongue wet with ALLAH... hence the poetic Guidance of rumi - embrace the wound... walk into the eye of the storm not to get off on yourself but because it will lead to the lesson - the Gift that lays before you...

...what is the wound for you...?... for me the wounds are being accepted... seeking acceptance... of watching my folks aging... of lack of stability... of wanting community... of being without wife and kids... of being without tribe... of feeling like i can't and in turn not doing in my ancient medicine... of staying behind the wall in complacency...

...what do you with the wound once you've laid it out... make the opposite of these wounds your goals... i.e. if i am seekign tribe because i feel alienaed and isolate by the babylon world... one thing i could do in my feeling alone-ness is hold space for meaningful community... using the reosurces i have - pedagogy ancient medicine - to hold cohort courses that support others n Connecting with the Divine Law while building community with one another... 

...how practically can this happen?.. what is some action if you took would get you one step Closer to this?... to set aside un-interrupted time to work on something that could be share with others - a video... a medicine... a writing... a holding a moment for community interaction/worship... an offering based on your talents pairing with the needs of others... with the needs of the wound... i.e. use this scent to Connect deeper with trees... use this one to Connect to family members... this one to Connect with a challenging friend...  find a few things each day that you could Work on towards this end... inshALLAH... ALLAH Knows best...

...You gave me the feeling 1.4.21...

 

...You gave me the feeling... the all night... the film of silent greats that sit across my skin... a fascial hug and release into smoke by the fire escape... wondering how this ascension happened... about brunch at Royalty's on lafayette... or a walk to sculpture park... to sit by the water... hand in hand... eyes in wonder... on the geese... ocean in the east river... our nile... watching bottles float carrying commandments and gospels... the gospel according to the maple tree behind us... the one with the robin's nest... 

...shhhh... finger on lips... Quietness... dissolve into a kiss of the raspeberry skies as we read surah 9:18... close the chapter of the park as we walk astoria... relax in to the breeze of omaha and dallas... of ithaca and philly... 

...today i read psalms in the souls of voices from intentional communities who sought to find they were Seekers... are you a seeker... 

...got a message from her and him and him... besties... friends who looked at the bottle and finally spilled the djinn-ie in to the river... an exorcise in astoria park... on the strip... where i hold exorcisms to save myself from returning into an absolut dream... 

1.2.21

...everything begins and ends and begins in Your name as there is no beginning and no end... but then why do i get older....?... how is it that i went from coming out of the womb to crawling to walking to talking to13 years of incarceration in an education system to...?... how is there this progression of age?... and that everything that takes birth wilts... bruises... dies...?... my sweet Lord...

...and in the meantime.. if this is happening... if the brith and death and birth cycle is happening... if we are not exempt from it then what do we do with our time here in these bodies...?... before we shed this uniform... if you are in space of privilege... of being in America... of having this national privilege that itself is greater than the majority of the world's middle class... we have more privilege in poverty than the majority of the world's middle class... then use it... be of service... Create... Connect... be in Connection... work... fight for the organism to be in optimal health... the organism is full of various strains of being from bangladeshi to punjabi.... from roma to nubian... from scandinavian to hopi... we are strains of a species within a biosphere whose interacitons actions are critical to one another... 

...so do something for the greater good... beyond your name... beyond getting your face plastered on houston streets gargantuan buildings with designer brand ads... do something that requires you to be inc community and do from community...

...permacize your yoga traditional medicine... permaculture your families and friends... meaning indegenize... re-Connect with the Way... 

...man... wish You were here... and your are... sanctify the sanctity of life... through the principles of the Law... the cycle endemic in composting... harvest rain... have the systems to do this... integrative diversity that supports and speaks and builds on one another...

...all of this is in your head... so release the jobs... and their babylon tanks to convince manipulate people to purchase something they don't need... they are building zombies and getting you to sell it... 

...Surrender to Truth...