...day 21... ramadhan 2021...

 ...audzubillah... bismillah...

...dressed in insomnia i wondered if the sirens that screamed at midnight, followed by the motorcycles that spat on those attempting sleep, followed the buses that hovered at the stop across the street like a nam era military chopper,  were as suicidal as the drunkards that cursed the invisible passerbys. sometimes they challenged their foes to a duel, right in front of our building, standing on the long stoop, under the brazen lamp determined to keep even the deepest sleepers up, in want of darker times. i wodnered if it was guns or just the testosterone of adoelsence that shot off from the reckless cars screeching and cackling as they sped up and down our block like it was a nascar track. i coughed too, adding to the rawkus lullabye that kept my parents nestled in dreams of a house somewhere in a quiet suburb where saris and punjabis weren't the offspring of u.f.o sitings in taos, new mexico, where cdc officials signed contracts with big headed bots. i wondered until the street lamps accosting our curtains became bleached by sunlight and midnight marauders were replaced by cabs honking, and brazen teens sinking meth in look-how-many-butts-i-bust hip hop were replaced by covid tweensters playing american eagled in muzzles. until it was 10 hours into a contamination of urban american lore praised and romanticized in academic literary circles and i was another day into precious time tumbling on a bed of blankets like dirty laundry running in circles. and finally, like the night was an alchemical detergent, i finally was rinsed into a dream.

...i dreamt i was in a school that was a library for kids... yusef, a friend of biblical stature sat reciting dr. seus books next to me, both of us leaning into  a pillar... on the lush green carpet of the library that kids spat their gums on to reconstruct subway platforms and barely noticed we were there, like straphangers enveloped in screens as homeless panhandlers made pleas shaking coffee jars with pennies and stories of being evicted after returning from iraq where they fought for this country killing entire villages of families as they worshipped to keep us safe and this is how they are treated... yusef and i realized it was time... we left...