...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate...
...3 days have passed since eid-ul fitr... it has been a blur... and when i consider the chronology i was developing through at first daily journal entires that were of the day of... then the day before... then days before in ramadhan... i realize a deep wisdom in the Qur'an that has been a mystery to me - the lack of chronology, that lack of seeming order as it appears unordered... perhaps time operates like this as well... that i will write more about the day of eid tomorrow instead of working on fitting these ruminations into a neat box that is easily accessible, like 9 steps to a better home life...
...in the name of ALLAH... i am deeply thankful to listening to shaykh hamza yusef this month... his wisdom and breadth of knowledge has encouraged me to go deeper in my readings of others... not just from a place of consumption... but from a place of philosopher - awe... to reference and encourage the delving into of people i've read who have shaped my mind... people like plath and carol and malcolm x and tagore and shakespeare and the prophet muhammad and iyengar...
...in the name of ALLAH... after a day of haphazard... ti feels good to re-ground in ritual... in engaging fully... in being steeped in discipline instead of running to capture bits and pieces of it... but there was a lesson in my yesterday of fragmentation... it was that my hiding my self in this room to do my practices... my attempting to figure out how i can escape guests and negotiate social situations in getting to my practices has to do with the fact that there is little gravity to it when it is for myself... which makes sense.. but if it is a sharing... if it is something i am doing as a service to others... whether it is for money or not... then it holds weight... this is the culture i derive from... and it makes sense...
...so i am being asked to consider this Sign... instead of sneaking out to do yoga or write for myself... doing it in a way of honor... i have a yoga course i am teaching in half an hour... or a writing workshop i am part of... etc... being accountable to others... people... species... in a space of Service... places meaning to everyone in the ancient world... they understand duty as service to others... paid or not... so fulfilling your duties by leaving a social space to teach a class, to heal... to lead a workshop... are respected... this will have to be the shift in my approach... inshALLAH...
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