community is everything, he said. although being a musician, an artist, a writer are all expressions, the expression of becoming, dissolving into community is the most important thing. it allows us to trust that there is something more than our individual selves and needs.
later on, hours later, i sat in the mate factor, delightfully consuming a spelt-flour waffle with maple syrup. my new favorite thing. tasty. really tasty. this sister passes by me. our eyes fall in. the split second is gone. she passes again. this time we speak. this time we traverse ithaca and nyc and new zealand and pennsylvania, the first site of the kripalu institute.
she is a yoga teacher. recently started an online course, but struggles with money. saw it as a sad thing, a disappointing thing.
i saw people who had money claming scarcity, and those who didn't feel like they were in scarcity. it didn't feel good.
recalled ammu's words of those who have, who gain in income.
they lose in giving, in sharing, in compassion. they gain in hoarding instead, ammu tells me.
what is it to be scarce? are even those who appear to have little, in scarcity?
i thought i was in scarcity when i found myself amidst people who had, when i went to school in the upper east side, when i met desi's who had money and spoke with a certainty i was unfamiliar with. started feeling less.
scaarcity, for me, was a construction of my own creation. it might've been based on the sociologists fo the academic landscapes that have this bipolar relation with romanticizing class inequities, while placing themselves in the cuny-grad, harvard, cornell, academic-jesus-christ arm-chair.
used to believe it. would quote stats. 80 percent of the worlds population work this many hours for pennies, while, while...stats and stats and stats...dangerous.
stats are dangerous. babylon's arithmetic. deal with the science of your body rising and deflating with each breath. how deep are you going? deal with the math of how much time you spend reading, praying, preparing your own food, cleaning, upkeep, fasting, writing letters to prisoners, visiting the grave, fighting for justice, having deep meaningful convo, versus hanging out, eating out, drinking, smoking, talking ish, gossiping, listening to destructive music, eating destructive food, shopping...
the math of scarcity is how we engage. time is of the essence. brief. so show up. been reminding myself of this. even as i addictively comb craigslist and kelly's blue book for a car for 9 hours a day. engage in being present, i tell myself in the cafe.
the rituals keep me from just being on the web all day. instead i am engaged in asana twice a day - 2-3 hours. instead i take a mile long walk. instead i do salat and bow to the One.
so these rituals ground me. and of course, i write. i engage in sattvic convo with people i know, and stragners i encounter, and Love them, by listening. by really listening.
finding conspiracy partners. two came up yesterday. isa and dom. for herbs and writing.
the methodology of growing in abundance is recalling purpose, is maintaining focus in the building by staying grounded in the rituals, to push the limits of these rituals instead of just going through them and to meaningfully reflect on purpose as a reminder for the doing.
my purpose is to be a medicine man, to be of service for village-community, and doing this through the ancient medicine i carry and grow in massage/yoga/herbs/nutrition - in myself and in others. asana and pranayama and dhyna.
ahimsa - yama/niyama in the way/what i eat speak/say, walk and move. dhyna every hour for 5 minutes. eating with presence - staring, tasting, experiencing the food. massaging parts of me that ache, that stiffen from the hours of sitting around behind this screen. preparing a meal with love. wanting and giving to my brother/sister what i would want for myself - a hello, a peace, a part of the meal i cooked.
my purpose is to make this path of One-ness, of alinging with Truth, irrestible, glaringly obvious, through my writings in essays, fiction, lyrics, interviews, and actualizing monettary currency to build village currency.
my purpose is to tie this all together by getting a sense of what will build meaningful, sustainable, accountable community.
my purpose is to be a Lover. i am a Lover that Loves, that gives and remains open to receiving, that falls, that cries, that laughs, that lets go of the cool and normalacy, to let go and let ALLAH...
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