thought about this ramadhan and my companions. the people around me have been mostly new friends, upstate; folks engaged in the process of becoming healers in various capacities; folks engaged in economic hardship, struggle;folks who are kind and loving and mostly non-judegemental, and non-confrontational, and understanding. it's been beautfiul being around these folks, none of whom are muslim, but who i connect with more than anyone i've ever met at the islamic center at nyu or most religious spaces.
companionship for me has to do with acceptance. us accepting each other for who we are. companionship has to do with striving for better and holding each other to this better, by being better for ourselves as a way to be better for one another. companionship is about being around and connecting and building and carving time for those you aspire to be like.
what are the qualities the people around you have? are these the characteristics of Higher, of divinity, of the 99 attributes?
my homegirl ash gives of herself fully. she makes sure folks are okay, buys them coffee and lunch and dinner, makes sure they have a ride if they are drunk, or don't. ash brings me to the supermarket, and to the site of my continued education. she gives, and she's barely making any money. herr husband works hard, daily, faced with life and death situations, and is making enough to put money towards their mortgage, feed their kids. yet, many people i know, make ten times what ash and her husband make, and always complain about how they don't have, think twice about buying fries or anything if any of us around, for fear of having to share, of maybe feeling like they'd have to offer out of being polite. many of the people i know in these muslim professional circles, pinch so hard, it hurts. it hurts so hard, that i can barely believe they are practicing the same spirituality.
islam is a name, i realized. we share words. common linguo, those of us who share this title of muslim - salam, inshallah, alhamdulillah, etc. these are just words. my understanding of the teachings of the prophet, is the practice of spirituality is in the doing.
the practice of worship is in the deeds. in this sense most of the muslims i know are not muslims by name. and most of the kaffir i know, are muslim by name, many of them pray, fast, use a lot of the lingo. they share business cards, and exchange professional status, and legitimate companionship from this lens of material. they pack the ic at nyu. peace to them. love to them. they are not who aspire to be like.
again, what are the attributes of those around you, in your inner circle? i am fortunate to have a dad who has committed his life to social change, a life-long activist, intellectual, writer, who does without seeking status, or money or credential. been broke all his life as a result. this meant we've been hurting to keep the lights on, all our life. but his has been the walk of jesus, moses, muhammad. he doesn't bow five times, but a thousand, in every second of the day, in how he worships the path of islam - peace and justice not just for self, but for our world. my brother has followed in his footsteps, doing without ulterior motive, moving in Quiet, banging for the community, for more gardens in the hood, and for real racial and economic equality, not people complaining about injustice from their private homes and condos and bashing white people, without seeing how they themselves are participating in the oppression...
my companion is my boy kris, who has taught me what it means to be giving, to love unconditionally. kris, who is a single dad, who has been fasting with me this month, cause we dig traits in each other as homies, as mutual aspirants. kris, who is on the brink of homelessness, barely making the payments in his project apartment, but who is constantly compromising the food of his family to feed others with his foodstamps. kris, who works hard, but isn't rewarded monetarily the way those doing social work, teaching, business, non-profit, law, engineering...are. yet, somehow, he is never complaining about how little he has, how he is broke, how his family is struggling, the way my professional muslim friends do. deep. so what is islam, and this path, if not the deeds.
my mom taught me, continues to teach me, that life is in the doing. you can talk all you want, but you gotta do. she looks for sales at the grocery store, and atleast once a week, 20 people are over and she is feeding them, cooking from the day before. my mom does and says, when we lament about those we know who have money - the more money you have, the cheaper you get.
cheap is a way of being, is cheapening this path, is attaching real hard to something that is not here, is an illusion. give of yourself and in the process, you will set yourself free. none of those dollars you pinch when you were around others who might've been made happy from a drink, a meal you got them, a gesture...come with you. do, without talking about it, without telling the world what a spender you are, without finding ways to prove this by the gucci bags and shirts you rock, and the 6-figure car. you are cheapening the earth in the process, cheapening the air and the water, and flagrantly, yourself.
do in Quiet, through humility, live simply, so others can simply live, gandhi said. find yourself a teacher, a guide, a shaykh. we all need one. cause reading articles, essays, books, listening to lectures on youtube, coming to a khtubah once a week, isn't cutting it. you and i need accountability, guidance. this has always been in the tradition, cause you and i need to check your/my-self, before we wreck ourself and our world...
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