...what do you choose?... in a ted talk, the ted talker said show me the four people you spend the most time with and i will show you your future... who do you spend the most time with?...
...i wonder if for some people the people they spend the most time with might not be people at all but their computers, phones, devices...
... i prefer human interaction... i prefer human interaction that is meaningful, adeventurous, exploratory, honoring... i want to honor those i am in relations with... i want to feel honored... so i want to give you what i would want...
...do you honor the people in your life? how? a friend once told me that it was ok if i couldn't come up with a material present for my nephews, but spending time with them would go a long way... spend time with those you love... meaningful time... Connect with them in a Way that is deep, and beautiful, and makes them feel beautiful...
...i love getting texts, calls, follow throughs from friends... people in my life letting me know they are thinking of me through their actions... emperor does this... he shows up... he knocks on my door and comes in... he runs into me on the street, honks his horn, and tells me to come in... he tells me i need to step it up, that he is concerned about referring people to me when my living situation is so unstable...
...queen shows up when she shows up... she doesn't want to make plans, she doesn't want to be held to any standard, any accountability... wants to say hi and then disappear... maybe see me later but not sure... and this fans anxiety and anticipation... the not knowing... the hoping... the thinking it is possible... and it becomes unhealthy... stemming from a place of un ease, from a place of excitement due to the very possible let down... knowing the let down is strongly possible...
...she says everyone has contradictions... most are afraid to illuminate them... what are your contradictions?... is it that you speak of love and honesty and yet chronically masturbate, watching porn, spilling seeds... how should this get illuminated?... i suppose the sharing... of being open...
her contradiction is that she wants to not have boundaries... to sink into you as you are speaking... perhaps interlace hands and legs... perhaps touch each other... and then go to the bathroom, go out for a smoke, grab a light from a stranger, and do the same with him... and it brings up the question of truth, of living our truth... i wonder what it would be if we all went with our base desire... walking in the world would look real different...
...i want to make sure you are heard... so i ask you qeustions... i want to make sure you are honored... i want to make sure you feel like a Queen, a King... i want to make sure you feel respected, loved.. and i don't want to say these things and pay only lipservice... be a text buddy, not show up for what is important for you... not make time...
...if you keep making time and honoring and giving of yourself to someone who doesn't reciprocate... give them prayers and be on your Way...
...life is too short to waste your time wondering in anticipation, hoping for an alcoholic to stop drinking, loving someone who stands you up over and over... wish them well... don't get mad at them... as their hearts are sealed or maybe not.. or maybe their hearts operate differently... they have to go through their journey...
...and ALLAH Knows what you do not know... so trust.... let go... even if it hurts... and focus on the Work... there is Work to be done... and it is not to waste time playing games, fanning your insecurities, running in circles chasing rainbows... let the rainbows Be... let go, focus on the Work...
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