Saturday, July 28, 2018

...full moon july 2018


...do it different... focus on one thing... embrace fear... and at every given moment, ask yourself:
what am i afraid of?  am i off focus? and how am i doing this different?...

...repetition... purpose, actualization... listen... the One... this is brief... do it now... i get it now i think... get rumi... get maybe why all his poems were about this... perhaps they were all conversations with self, with him self... to remind... and as many poems as he wrote many more were needed to be reminded...

...the jewel from my dad: working with singleminded dedication reaps success...

...fasting... day 2/3... fasting for You... for me... for shedding... for letting go... for the chyrsalis... for Be-coming... at times i am ready to disappear... to dissipate... feel overwhelmed by it all... don't get it... hear the critiques from others, the feedback... and appreciate it... appreciate that others take the time to tell me what it is... to step it up... emp does this, ammu does this, cb does this sometimes... he is more like smack, who just makes sure i'm supported, that i'm right regardless if i'm not... makes me choke up...

...i enjoy being this for others... whether your right or wrong you're still right... and i mean the core dozen... i mean those i trust and Love... like my boy step, and smack, and naum, and really... anyone in my life who i Connect with on this level...

...all over the place... been all over the place... i'm afraid to tell you that i'm all over the place... that i've lived in more places in the past few years than many people have in their lifetimes... and somehow i keep ending up in this loop... keep ending up returning to queens... to the apartment of my upbringing...

...been told from people in my life that they want stability from me... and i know i rely in stability from others... because i am wind... because staying anywhere feels like a commitment... and i want to commit... but committing to not knowing has been scary... so whether it's nyc or another place... i am committing to a not knowing... instead of moving somewhere for work or school, i move based on wind... based on Connection... but i'm learning the Connection is in the Work... in the exchange with You and You and You...

...single-minded focus on herbs/medicine making and medicine-manning will get my medicines to you... will get much needed medicines to you... and Connect You with Source and manifestations of Source... is letting go of those and that which is not on path... is keeping thick and not stretching thin...

...the Work is and should only be Guided by Connection... by what needs to be done to elevate to heighten Frequency, the God-vibration... Om... all praise is due... and doing this in community has been the want... the desire... but in the meantime... do it... get it done... out there... hold space for others to work with you... as people out here in ithaca have done - tammy sweet, 7-song, and others who have herb schools/programs that bring people into cohort experiences... there are yoga schools that do this as well... perhaps use that model... even though it is driven by an individual and personality... do this until...  focus on the medicine... getting you medicine kits this month...




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