...12.27.20 patterning...

 

....how do we - me - you - align with th astral plane?... we are it... that We Are... understanding this through being outdoors... even when it's 15 degrees outside... Connecting with the leaves... the bark.. the leafless trees... noticing the texture of things in the winter... the way mist holds on asphalt... the trees that do have foliage... the mushrooms and bark... 

...indoor air can kill us... is killing us... softly... get out... outdoors... do it now... look up... the sky is still there... look up at all times of the day... morning... how does it look different then at 2pm, 7pm 9pm...?...

...what can you forage?... mushrooms... pine... white pine... spruce - not to be confused for yew, which can be poisonous... then there are the year round weeds... chickweed... shepherds purse for blood health... there is ground sorrel... but this can harm your liver... pine bark.... make a flour add it to another flour.. bak a bread...

...collect water with collars... harvest it... make arid regions moist and full of life by makeing them more shaded... instead of mulch... for evaporation to happen... forests are porous... how many entrances and exits are there from your habitat... my dad wants to control everything... all of our movements... he wants to know who leaves and when... and why... unnatural in some ways... natural in some... in the way of tribes... let go of control and grow deeper in tribe...

...patternize... patterning in permaculture are systems that support life... water is pumped out of cities only to be pumped back in... exhausting natural resources.. this is the anthesis of life... shape your tribe and habitat with patterns that support and vibrate life...

...waste is a man made thing... in nature there is no waste... waste is only feedstock for new life... please don't waste my time... we humans are wasteful... but when you pattern...

...on the day of rebirth... 12.25.20...

 ...in the name of... breath of the One... whom by any other name... is still the One... One-ness... 

in the space of this time limit called your human life, how are you manifesting Purpose...?... what is your Purpose?... why are you here?... is it to work 9-5... get deals for clothes made in sweatshops... be a better consumer and be a brand loyalist?... operate in unilateral linear relationships where you have no clue where your coffee comes from, who the farmers were, who the company the barista you handed currency to works for who the barista is...?... how does this make sense?...

...on this day of rebirth... of the resurrection of the sun of the One... as the day grows a bit longer... the uphill battle remains... will you climb as we head into the northern solstice or seek to default on complacency on what is comfortable... what you know... ?... what do you need to do different o align with Purpose?... take that step... 

...how?... # 1 it can't be about you... i see how success corrupts... i experience it in my yoga... how i consider an audience to show off in front of... this is different than engaging in asana to unlock the body... to go beyond it... i see it in the fame seeking... i am disturbed by this part of me that i grow irritated by in others... people distributing food and holding food banks to promote themselves to become a celebrity... this success fame thing runs so deep people will do anything to get there... deep... 

...my Purpose is to build the village i witnessed... to do this with what i've learned... to share the Gifts and receive gifts from others... to do this through redefining economics and how i engage with you and others... it can't be a transaction or transactional... it has to be cooperative... ecosystem... perma... beyond an individual... us as an organism... 

...stepping into religion... Grace... gratitude...

 ...in the name of ALLAH... blessed completion of this earth cycle... blessed 2000002100021000210000...

...if you want to Know... the belief in islam of ALLAH is that ALLAH has no beginning nor end... i neither begotten nor begets... 

...energy is that which cannot be created nor destroyed...

...the lack of reverence respect for life in babylon makes it s linear system... we buy and we don't know who we are buying from or who made the product or where... other than if we read the tag in the b.g and there may be a line that says made in bangladesh or taiwan or china... and we may pay a bit more attention to the brand... we become brand loyal... well its nike, we say...

...who is nike or puma or addidas...?... i have a thing for pumas given the era i grew up in... it was the number 666 branded in my head to be a consumer for life a brand loyalists and somehow in this entrepreneural train i'm supposed to be on i'm supposed used these same tricknological systems to manipulate people to buy my product and be brand loyalists... keep it... 

...in the world of consumerism there is no relation to the product you purchase... it elevates alienation.. the alienation for the worker who toiled for something they have no joy of seeing the end result of... and the alienation of the consumer who may seek a deal or some kind of narrative which the tricknologists call content marketing... keep your scientific tricknology... 

...in the world of Nature.... everything is circular and spirals... hence one who produces also sells and you get o know them and their family and they live in your community and they know you and your family from the breads your mother makes... etc... 

...our waste is wasted... our talents wasted... this is why the self help section has grown to be like everything else in babylon... obese... and yet... as many motivational talks and books as you've read heard... it's never enough... you need more... 

...you waste should be feedstock for something else... one thing should feed another... it's not enough to be diverse and have diversity... how are we benefitting ne another in our community ... in growing and vibrating our community...?... 

...your daily life is your religion... is it?... how is it reflecting sanctity at every second of the day...?...how does it respect Love... service... Connection.... 

...bask in the grace... or have you fallen from it - Grace - gratitude - thanks - praise - price - what price are you willing to pay for Love?... 

...12.22.20... winter solstice ruminations...

...blessed winter solstice Kingdom... Queendom of mother earth... our earth has completed its revolution around our star... aprox 35 days on this space ship that we are on...

...if you knew you were on a space ship traveling through space how would you treat the spaceship? would you trash it?... would you upkeep it?... would you ensure its harmony?... how would you treat those you are in the space ship with?... would you kill/murder those who don't think look like you? would you be kind and compassionate know you are going somewhere together and you might be on this ship for a while s it makes sense to really get to now and love one another?... what kind of frequencies would you put out into the universe?... would you emit frequencies of how large your phallus is and how many women you've take advantage of and how you sleep with em and toss em and all the stuff you have and the towers you own and the people who worship you and the countries that sink at their knees for you and me me me... and my my my...?... oddly... does this sound like much of hip hop pop and trump balled into one?... isn't it funny how we are quick to make these distinctions and yet the evil and greed and lust and recklessness run rampant through a shared value system...?... 

...what is your value system?... are you seeking an in with that which is hip pop-ular...?... be wary then of your own self destruction and the destruction of others... if it is the majority of what is in the mainstream... or are you tuning into systems beyond cool... that are Aligned... Connected... even if they are not in pop culture...?... get down with this... the world of the degreed... lawyers doctors professionals will have you believe you ar eonly successful if you believe in their toxic noxious food systems and needles and vaccinations and anti-biotics and law... inherently anti-life...

...permaculture tells us to align with the ecosystem to learn from it... and in an ecosystem like in our bodies... there are feedback systems... thus waste is feedstock for something else... it is not a on way stream... that diversity is not enough if the diversity is not alive in interaction... like a garden of tomatoes and then corn and then... what is the interaction between these species?... 

...been thinking of a perma approach to the medicine i do... the yoga sufi community i'd like to be part of building... inshALLAH... 

...when asked to define hippies... the poet ed sanders said: "the term hippie is limited by the type of journalism that produces it"

...winter solstice 2020... eve of...

 ...om namo bhaguvate vasudevaya... sung by krsna das... ram das speaks of his process... of being a young person lost and seeking... and finding lsd and timothy leary and going to india to meet his guru... and quotes from dao and sufism and tich nah hahn and nasiruddin... and tells stories to illuminate the importance of nothingness... of embracing this... of the letting go... of going inward instead of focusing too much externally... in the context of One-ness... ALLAH... 

...if we see someone who is doing wrong and is irritating us in the subway it's ourselves we are getting upset at... and our desire to knock them out comes from our lack of compassion to ourselves... it comes from self hate... if we loved ourselves we may seek to Connect with them as the elder in the subway does... asking the belligerent drunk on the train questions to Connect... until the guy spills his story of being left by his wife and feeling so alone and is sobbing in the train... 

...Compassion is the most repeated name of ALLAH - Al Rahman... of course this is more than just an outward showing... more than knowing a name of ALLAH and more than an external subject object relation - this is you and You... this is about self and Self... Connection is the Way in... and then...

...serve... Service... to whoever whatever is within your region... as per the laws of permaculture - to not just be shepherds of the earth but t recognize that we are the earth... our body earth, our blood the water, our breath air... that as without so within so howl... don't just witness the best minds of your generation but support do something... get in the game... play... you don't have to be a perfect musician or even be a musician as the teacher from brooklyn music factory tells us... that music is essential to connection and that connection means getting out fo your head and perfection and just playing... get in the game... 

...winter solstice 2020... we are in it... the eve of... intention to fast... to make a pine bird-feeder and ornaments for an evergreen as offerings to the seen and unseen life... to be part of a fire... to light candles... to reflect - things i'm grateful for things i wish i could've done differently... to put forth intentions for the new year that centralize the earth and nature and community... not just individual self-help goals... to share... yoga... Love... food... meditation... words from another.... to be in community... 

... perma-culture in jupiter and saturn conjunct ...

 ...that's what came up for me as i considered perma culture as i learned about bill mollison and his aligning wit the Way of Life as he witnessed among the indigenous... traditional peoples steeped in wisdom tradition... what is your wisdom traditions?...

...for me it is the tradition of Surrendering to the Source of Peace... by way of moving form the compass of laillahaillala... Knowing there is no One but One... and this is short... this life thing... and when we tether our mulladhara to the maya then we get lost in a wilderness of times square consumer culture... jobs that may seem regarding but you know they are not... knowing there is something off with social work.. something off with the education system... something off with the way medicine is practiced... it is all somehow more than just words in double-speak but a reality n  doublespeak... and you know this and continue because it is stable... because there is a paycheck... because you are lucky and more fortunate then the person who doesn't have a job os you should be realistic... tell che guevera that... tell fidel and gandhi that... tell jesus and muhammad (s.a.w) that... be unrealistic... permaculture came about through being unrealistic only to tap into Reality.... 

...i know for certain this is deathcare... that true health is in yuj- union - community with self and Self... that babylon new-ageisms steeped in the individual... is only a byproduct of the soul-hurt of babylon culture... taking extracting supplements for mitochondrial health.. but True health is in ecosystems in accountability in service that is meaningful and holds you to your Highest that checks you and you can't just be deuces about it... as wolverine and james dean and rick ross and french montana and the heroes of babylon... who spread the frequency of falsehood of twinkies and yet.. somehow those around me who are so blinded by their own self-pity and narcissism seem to think these figures are progress... that they are heroes and that we should aspire to have more people of color own corporations and big business and be presidents... oh wow.. really?.. somehow it's better to have someone who listens to music with beats to drop bombs and incarcerate and facilitate addiction to material stuff...?... i'll pass homie... 

...people of cosmos stand up!!!... see through the maya of the uniform... stop pedestalizing me cause i grew up poor and brown and turned things around... i'm also capable of evil.. and harm... and harming... people of cosmos isn't a race but a Way... steeped in wisdom cultures... the traditional Ways... whether that is the esoteric sciences of the yogis of the indian subcon or the rain makers of north american indians or the medicine men and women of subsaharan africa or the herbalists and pagans of europe that have brought us the celebrations for the winter solstice... all praise is due for all these wisdom traditions... 

...on the 21st... for the first time in close to 400 years... a decade after gaileleo discovered the telescope... jupiter and saturn will be in conjunction in a way that is closer to the earth than the one that occurs every 20 years... jupiter's orbit takes 12 years while saturn's about 29... in the process they conjunct at some point... like runners in a race track who continue to loop... at some point the runner that ran past you will pass you again... 

...the yule is an opportunity to embrace dark... while reigniting the importance of light and how much we are in need of this rare resource... as the vast majority of the universe is dark... dark matter... and thus the lighting of candles with intentions... the burning of fire... the cooking of warm meals with the sun at its core... the use of spices and spiced drinks like hot apple cider with cinnamon... the feasting... the being in community as it is in community that us as particles of light become Light... inshALLAH... 

 ...always live like a visitor... a traveler the prophet said... even if you are living breathing in the region neighborhood you are from... don't be from there... when you believe you are from there you begin to perceive others in a certain light... you begin to build a sense of arrogance i am from here and they are not... i've felt that at times... i felt that when the building my folks have been in for 40+ years shed its families only to be replaced by young professionals... i'd like to say they were primarilly of a certain ethnic/racial b.g to appease your sensibility of the false binary racial paradigm that ignores the capacity of good and evil... benevolence and greed in all... so it is a multicultural cast of gentrifiers... hyphenated americans: white and asian, carribean and african, black and latin... 20 and 30 somethings... single or coupled... and sometimes i feel like an outsider in this building and i perceive the way they engage with my immigrant parents as outsiders... and it makes me want to say they have been here for longer than your parents have been alive... but this stems from a place of being from... vs... acceptance... accepting the change... the possible perceptions of us as outsiders... my perception of them as pretentious and rude... all of it stems from my own identification with this rental apartment in a building that is like a swivel door... 

...You Are only from One place... ALLAH... from ALLAH we emerge to ALLAH we return... 

...this is just a passing through... 

...rich roll had a legendary surfer on his podcast who said... when you have an art everything else you do is only to support this process... so if you have to work as a dishwasher or waiter or landscaper... all good... these other things are just jobs... your Work is your art and everything else supports this... although i agree with this... other jobs can take a toll on your energy level and take you away from your craft... so it may be more healthy to have part time gigs to allow full time focus on your craft... 

...this legendary surfer also said what i've heard other wise men say - it is only in the face of death do we realize living... so go to your edges... what are your edges?... what is my edge with/in writing?... it is to write for several hours... right now i only do an hour at most... in a row... to complete what i start... i have a tendency to start writing projects and not complete them...  

...rich roll added to this by saying how ironically the narrative of pop culture is for us to seek comfort... to look to shows like cribs... lifestyles of the rich and famous... of making the american dream - house car dog spouse... but it is in this comfort that we experience dying... not death... not fana... not the annhilation of ego but the attachment to security to the couch... to being safe... to our safe yoga poses and t.v. and rotuines.. and job... embrace chaos... edges... fear... 

the seeds of a community

...ram das says in a lecture that he gave in 1987 that good business is driven by a goal, a vision, a need versus being driven by profit and money making... when this is your goal then you are driven only by individuality, by your own tamasic needs... 

...in the law of attraction... a friend of mine tells me that you have to be real clear about what you want...be real specific, she says... it's not enough to say you want a house... what kind of house, why? where? who lives there? what's the neighborhood like?... if you are looking for a partner.. what are their qualities... you can say that they have this body and this profession... but what about that body type?... chemistry... you want to have chemistry with the person you are with... what about profession...?... you may want stability... etc... 

...are you creating a need, or is there a genuine need for what you'd like to share...?... for many eyars i saw that being/becoming a medicine man was about me finding my purpose, about what i had to offer... but i realize from my own failure of not being able to be of service that this goal was always a selfish one... it wasn't about helping others... it was about me connecting with my ancient self for me... for me to have ancient knowledge and be recognized for this... in turn my studies and accolades have all been driven by ego... this shows up in my yoga as well... my goal has been to obtain a certain leel of depth in asana and some of the more esoteric layers of yoga... again... it has been selfish and without service... 

...so having thus knowledge and practice now... what is the offering?... in aligning with the knowledge of the 99 names... of the unseen... of the Wisdom... i Realize in Ya Daar... the Distressor... that to find meaning... Purpose means to search through that which is hurting your spirit... is causing you stress... as this is where you realize your need... what is causing me distress?... aging without progress... being unmarried and childless... living in the same neighborhood i grew up in... in the same rental... being without community... watching my folks age... and those around me... watching friends dissipate... being at a job that doesn't serve my love and passion of creative writing and fiction and being creative and yoga and medicine making and bodyworking and cooking and being in community with the land and each other and instead being in community through screens and paycheck... 

...what is distressing me is not being in meaningful community and not being in a space of offering for community... so what i want is to be in a space of community not just with where i live but also with the people i work with and on... i want to know their families and friends... i want to be in community with those i work for... and that my work only draws me closer to them... so i want to be in cooperation...

...what is the need then?...  compassion... going beyond individualism... building an alternative to isolation and individualism and consumerism and transactionalism and discompassion and lack of love and respect for different cultures and different cultural ways of being and not being burned into a melting pot that makes you the same and destroys difference by boiling it out... the lack of love and respect for the earth and artisanship and what it takes to create/build vs look for deals and stuff... 

...how?.... do you feel alone...?... confounded, hurt by time space happening and you are feeling left behind... losing those around you... being un quicksand... feeling a lack of support for what you are going through?.... lacking meaningful accountable relations... people who won't just ditch you becasue you said/did the wrong thing?... the solution maybe community... who are accountable to one another... who are engaged and rooted in spirit... who plant and develop a relation to food as medicine through reaping/harvesting and cooking... and sharing meals... what do i have to offer to help people go through this?... people as diverse as my mother and someone who is a lawyer...?... through education... through an educational program that has a cohort... that people who participate feel enriched and driven by... that can help them grow deeper with each other and the land... that is within a region... a neighborhood... that is culturally sensitive and rewarding and enriching... that values difference in perspective... that empowers people to own and take responsibility... that helps them to go out there and build/plant the seeds for other self-sufficient interfaith yoga ancient medicine school-clinic communities - that is not a franchise or brand... but rooted in spirituality... 

...where does this start?... with medicines that people can trust... and want to work with me... with writing courses... with full moon courses... with a clinic that helps people with their issue... to do talks on spirituality and community and the earth... to hold a yogi medicine person cohort... people who can learn the ancient art of yoga and ayurvedic medicine: through immersing in daily ritual: asana, meditation, pranayama... cooking vegetarian foods... planting herbs... making medicines... doing an art... writing... sharing their talents... engaging in responsibilities... karma yoga... so they are immediately taking charge of their community instead of being passive participants... holding clinic... engaging in dhikr/satsang in attending and offering dharma talks... in sleeping early and getting up early and having saturdays to rest for shabbat and celebrating on friday night... all praise is due... this is a school clinic farm kitchen lifestyle... and it's within reach... 

...what's keeping me?... fear that it's unrealistic... too big... etc... but it's been a vision for years... now i will pitch it... do you want to help?... 

...semen retention...

 ...seed... keep your seeds... find fertile ground... plant them as they are most likely to grow in he right soil... to be healthy and rooted in a past that is in the Great Nothing... in the name of... Always...

...hold your seeds even as the desire the shoot them is, to sprinkle them as there is an urge as much as there is an urge to pee, real bad... hold on... the semen is not waste... this is what i would tell a freind from years ago who said he saw masturbation and sex as natural as going to the bathroom... yes... it is natural... but feces and urine are not comparable to semen... 

...our semen is not a waste product... in fact, from the perspective of the ancient medicine of ayueveda, it is the sum total of nutrition... nutrition crates this... it avails this... it makes it so that we have a pearl... these pears accumulate and are to be shared... 

...that's the other thing about semen retention... in itself it can eem grand, and reverent... but we are gifted these seeds for a reason... to share them... nothing after all that we receive... whether it is money and old and things... or talent... is to be hoarded... it is to be of service... in service of the One... through sharing with the ummah.. .the community fo life... human and non human... earth beings and fire beings and light beings and water beings... share... give... spread... thus find someone you can share this seed with... that you can be there for the harvest and share in this harvest through celebration... through planting again... and reaping what you sow through festivity... through Love... through Creativity... 

...12.5.20.. ruminations

 ...in the name of.......... as a rose by whatever name is a rose... an the messages of those who Seek are beginning to sound more resonant... echoes... and in babylon this conveys through self-help books, every day someone is writing one to get out a hack, to share something that could be useful and thats beautiful ... but aslo to survive to thrive in the babylon sense... to have money and houses and glitter n be okay... babylon success... 

...be responsible to yourself osho's says... and of course in the sufi tradition this would mean responsible to Self... and when you take away the body and the mind.. .there is only You.. and this can only be know through experience... i wouldn't discount nor negate belief as osho does... i think it is beautiful... but i personally se the importance to use your experience to observe them as the laboratory for Self Realization to let loose the clutches of chains you have taken on that tether you to jobs you don't believe in that keep your throat chakra locked to what is okay to say - it is okay to now say black lives matter but dont you dare say free palestine... that is not ok... hence nike and j.c penny and nbc can have b.l.m signs and messages when they had not interest a couple fo years ago... and some how this absolves them of their institutional play at exploitation hierarchies... apartheids... etc... 

...do what is unpopular... including with so called progressive movements that you may have disagreements with ...don't be afraid to disagree for fear of a backlash for fear of being called racist or homophobic or classist or elitist ...  modernity and forward thinking don't mean progress or evolution in fact it could mean devolution as we are seeing how we have become a pronounced culture... of how we are offering plastics and disposables in restaurants in place of glasses to address covid... 

...somehow we are missing the mark... in my estimation... somehow if we believe in this thing that they are calling a pandemic than wouldn't we want to reevaluate how we have engaged with our earth and other species?... especially if these viruses have been zootonic... isn't it an opp to not go back to business as usual... of course it isn't biz as usual... it is heightened babylon... screens in your face all day everyday... 

...what's the advice of a medicine man?... meditate in the vipassana tradition - as taught by buddha... and shared by goenka-ji... do the surgery of inner self... observe your body and mind and emotions and let go... come into witness consciousness and in being so Be come who you Really are... 

...99 names: Dhal Jalali Wal Ikram...

 ...in the name of ALLAH... all praise is due... for the lack of sleep... the insomnia... for the distress leading me to the Ya Daar... the Distressor... as ALLAH is the Essence of All... that is Spirit is everything... even these buttons i press and the car i drive... these have a spirit... 

...i get why people talk to their cars now... i've been connecting with my '05 prius... recognizing that it's a bit of an o.g... that it had a rough life from being bruised by nyc traffic cops smacking down on its breaks and push and stopping... improper breathing... and the acutioneers that just dumped it on the less than honest dealers in bk i bought it from... 

...i was distrustful of the prius... not recoginzing that the car to has at its Essence ALLAH... and as such has an individual spirit that requires Love and generosity - Ikram... which will empower it and in turn me... generosity is empowering for the giver as it heightens frequency... praying before your food in gratitude and expressing Love will raise the frequency of your food... that is... instead of just being thankful for what you will take... also think of a way that you will give to the food that has given to you... so generously... 

99 names: ad Daar an Nafis

....maula... ali... maula... 99 names... the source of distress... ad Daar... the wound that rumi refers to, to embrace... as it will benefit you... it will lead to Light... as is the next of the 99 names... an Nafis..  the benefactor... that which benefits... by way of being of service... of benefitting... uplifting helping growing nourishing others... 

...the Distressor... the distress is essential to explore... the walk into... what is distressing you?.. .for me it is not being in Union... is going through time and space and noticing stagnancy and yet i am changed... the lack of community... hiding in my yoga and medicine... of not being of service... of my writings being just this - self reflections for myself... and a lifetime of this... meaning endless hours that have benefited no one but myself...

... so the distress is not in being in community... in being in meaningful relationships... how can we be in meaningful relationships with each other...?... 

...Ad Daar leads me to sharing this through courses... through the honoring of the time and the currency i spent on growing in these practices that sustain and grow family and community and build community economics... Ad Daar is sharing with me that through the sharing all else will fall in place and in turn lead to An-Nafis... inshALLAH...