...Create to serve... 2.28.21...

 

...in the name of ALLAH... the 1ness... that which is Always... beyond grasp... think of any color you can conceive... that is not ALLAH... think of any form... that is not ALLAH... 

...and yet Creation... is the key to Knowing... Creativity... 

...i see this in the lesson of my mother... while school was never needed for her to have discipline... and art... she is immersed in her dishes... dishes that are anathema to the modern frequencies of dinner in 10mins... we are looking for short cuts and packages... things that can look good... aesthetics... they match with our shoes... some of my mother's dishes takes days to make... she allots time and works accordingly... school did not teach me this... 

...i still can't believe i was robbed of years and years of this precious Gift through the babylon education system and its cultivation of entitled spoiled individualistic kids... 

...and i can't speak for middle class white america... i'm talking about brown/black poor working class urban america... we think everyone owes us something... and hence the disrespect to teachers to each other... to adults to people of other cultures... you would think going to multicultural schools would make you more versed in the ways of others instead of more antagonistic to it... something's up with this education system... it's not just the teachers... its the kids too... it's not just the principals... its the district leaders too... 

...the Guidance... the lesson from my mother is to Create... to serve and share my Creation... to have a dinner party a week from now and begin prepping tomorrow... to get the ingredients, aling with the moon and planets in there point in space and time... to prep accordingly... to dress up and clean before serving... and then making sure that once people get here they know they are Royalty... 

...that is the intention for this lunar month... to Create with a date and peoplr to serve what i Create and prepare accordingly... 

...full moon feb 27 2021...

 

...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate... the Most Merciful... inna illahe wa inna illahe rajun...

...breathe... prana... flows through you... life force... and then it leaves the body... and you... where are you?... are you still in this body you spent so much lifetime to prove... to get fame from... to establish... to be right... to look right... for who?... for what...?...

...if the answer is for Work... for the Work that it takes to be in community... to be in a community of worship prostrate to Purpose to Reaching... then You have been of the arif-ullah's (one who Knows ALLAH)... 

...this full moon... as i reflect on this past month... this path lunar calendar... i i am stirred by the passing of my aunty... although not biological she had been a present part of my village... one of the last mohican's along with my folks in that building we've been in since the 70's... 

...she always kept her tongue wet with ALLAH... always blessed me with ALLAH... always kept her head covered and her eyes low... and when our eyes met there was a twinkle there... a magic that she and i shared... a transferring of the greatest science of life - Love... the amrit as the vedas refer to it as... the nectar of life...

...her passing occurred during my fast yesterday... as i was off... off balance and spirt in my asana practice... off in my writing... off in my day... and only after getting the note from my cousin (non-biological)... things made sense... humbled... ALLAH will do that... even if you don't bow down 5 times with deep Love and meaning 5 times a day... even if you don't bow down one time a day... or ever... ALLAH will bow you...  death will do that...

...i will marinate on this lesson... the one that is immediate is to Love... is to share Gifts... is to frgive... is to let go of ego that places you in a place of walls, borders with others... which keeps you from Connecting with Highest... borders are different from boundaries... boundaries are Law... shariah... they are what keeps our earth at a tilt and orbiting around the sun... 

...orbit... around Love... and the Light will always come through... 

...drop out of school... 2.25.21...

 

...@ 3:17am... tonight... tomorrow morning... where will you be?... the full moon will apex then... a climax before the wane... pay attention... 

...these are the lessons that are given to you from divinity... from that which resides in You as close to You as your jugular... 

...these are the lessons that are locked out of school... or may be there... may be tossed into a lesson by a teacher as one of those moments... there are many... there are great teachers... there are great moments in school... but i've been asking myself and wonder if you have asked - what is the purpose of school?... why is it structured the way it is?... 8 periods... 45min-60min... grades... mono-generational per grade... starting at kindergarten and not ending till 12th grade...

...if nothing else... do we really need to be in school for a minimum of 13 years (not including college, etc.)...?... why?... is this a meaningful use of our time?... 

...if we do need to goto school for 13 years... why do we need to goto college for another 4?... if it's to specialize why didn't we specialize somewhere in those 13 years?... 

...thing is... i'm not interested in convincing you of anything... these are just some questions i have and the more i think of it... the more disheartening it is to think that parents are subjected to surrendering their children to school and are instilled with the belief that somehow school is a good thing... that will make them good people and good citizens... 

...but school made me a horrible person... it made me hate myself... i was in a school with a multitude of ethnicities and somehow this led to us warring with each other... our ethnicities becoming our deficits... our greatest weakness... 

...school made me fearful... i was worried about what my peers thought of my clothes sneakers, words, ability or inability to figt to talk to girls, etc.

...school tore me apart from my mama and papa... school made me see them as other... as not cool... as backward... it replaced my home language with a language that was neither viable on the marketplace nor at home, nor anywhere...

...school traumatized me... i was worried about fighting... constantly... i was worried about the way other kids may try to harm me physically or verbally or inclusion/exclusion... i was worried about teachers saying something mean, giving me a poor grade... making fun of my name by getting it wrong unapologetically, of picking on me... 

...school made me dumb... instead of curious and wondering... i was trying to figure out how to fit in... how to fit into what was cool in the cess pool... what was acceptable by other kids... whether i would pass or not... whether i got the right answer or not...

...school brings out the evil of kids... i want to be real clear that unlike a lot of critiques i hear about the evil teacher and the poor kids... what i saw and experienced as a student and then as a teacher is the evil potential of kids... their cruelty... and given circumstances... humans are prone to this... so what about schools in a multicultural society like nyc bring out this evil... there must be something?... anyway i want to make that point real clear... i also don't think it's just a matter of white supremacy... depending on the ethnic makeup of your school (kids and teachers) and you in ratio to that, you may experience black supremacy, brown supremacy, etc... it is more romantic and easy to tout the party line and make the situation black and white... it just doesn't fit with the reality of a place like nyc...

...school robbed me of precious life... if i knew then what i know now, i would've dropped out in the 5th grade, or not have gone to school at all.... but if i dropped out in the 5th grade i'd spend time with my mom, hanging out in the kitchen and learning the herbalism i didn't learn way into my adulthood... i would've learned our ancient nutrition and culinary culture... and dishes... and be cheffing up amazing dishes... i would've been proficient in bengali and qur'anic arabic... i would have learned to sew and make my own clothes instead of learned to be a consumer... i would've learned world history and literature and dialectics by spending time with my dad in his office... learning the importance of objectivity in journalism in really sharing two sides of a story... i would've been writing articles and interviewing people and been much more adept at it then i am now... 

..if i didn't school i would have had years of real exploration, deep confidence, spiritual maturity, and the lsit goes on...

...i also want to speak for myself... for many kids from families where school is a safer option... schools may look veery different... and be amazing... for kids like me... who grew up on the economic margins... poorer than many kids who wore all the nice clothes... but came from a rich cultural tradition of ancient values and ways... school was a major disservice... and i would encourage anyone who comes from an ancient wisdom tradition not to send their kids to school... 

...resist through collaboration... 2.25.21...

 ...soshana zuboff reveals surveillance capitalism... the term itself has a ring of conspiracy... but then you hear her listing off the obvious... data mining... many of us are familiar with this to an extent... more than just the information you voluntarily provide (or conscioously) it's the information that is mined from your behavior... your browsing... what you are looking at... i.e. wiki articles on vaccines... youtubes on wu han and 5g... etc... and next thing you know you are being recommended books by authors who've written books about these... when you get o nextflix there may be suggestions on movies that dramatize a government cover up...

...nothing out of the ordinary... nothing she is saying is extra ordinary... we are aware of these... and yet that is the great reveal... that we have been in a state of surrender to what seems innocent... what seems the norm... the norm it crazy... it is pathological... it is scary to think that a.i. through data mining is recruited to recruit you into consumer habits... 

...we consume... or we create to be consumed... the ancient Way is to collaborate... to prostrate your Work the the Essence... by way of community sharing... Your Work is to be the creator you are in cooking in shoe making in farming... to serve community... doesn't sound too attractive right?... it's more attractive to be a beyonce or billie elish... to be a yoga celebrity or a renown earring maker... fame and the lust from ego has fanned the wars of the past... has been the constant lesson taught by the prophets... so much so that the prophet muhammad refuted kingship... refuted having his image being replicated... as even the image of some one can become a point of idolizing... which we do with celebrities... white and black and brown and yellow and red... people saying relatively destructive things... people saying things that spirit people have been saying for millenia without commodifying... 

...collaborate... dissolve your Work in a circle of community... aspire for this... 

...let inquiry lead your craft... 2.23.21...

 

...writers write... they sit... they grab a beverage as dehydration is a necessary side-effect of writing... we are after-all engaging in thoughts... air... entering the ethereal of space... winded with each sentence.... each run on... every word going through its own birth rite and the rite of passage of works in progress... of returning to them after stepping away... after being haunted...

... jhumpa lahiri returned to her story of two brothers assassinated by the indian paramilitary after 15 years... after 2 or 3 books written... she couldn't find the language... needed more spirit to engage with what happened... it may be the difference between what is contrived in memory and what is felt... what is based on knowledge and what is a lived breathed lucid experience... as rohan mistry told his audience in the candian university he received his honorary degree from... those who have knowledge can give you answers... those who have wisdom asks questions... he was quoting someone else... his book was banned... burned by the right wing militant hindu extremists known as shiv sena... it's odd using this language that is so often used on muslims almost exclusively and somehow the violent actions of other religious movements are eschewed of this designation... 

...whatever it is your doing, go deeper in your craft... sylvia plath, when asked if she preferred the company of other writers said that she abhors being around artists, writers, as they are narcissistic and impractical... she much rather prefers being around people like her midwife who can teach her something pragmatic... she is drawn she said to people who are deeply and pragmatically engaged in their craft...

...are you deep in your craft?... what is it?... how are you sharing?... how are you being in dialogue with the wounded world?... 

...popularity and Truth may be at odds... 2.22.21...

 

...what would be useful... for you to do?... what do you do already... that you love... or enjoy... how can it be shared?... i Love cooking... i can share this... my but is that when you cook for more than yourself it takes a while... but the Gift is in the opportunity to get creative and share... to get feedback... to grow deeper in your craft and in the process build the health and joy of those around you...

...i enjoy writing... you know this... you see it here... but you are one of the few... i don't publicize it... did initially... 8 years ago... when i started... but i'm not sure this meets any criteria of value for others... it is a my own process in processing the world... the energetics of matter as i experience it... it is me... a bangladeshi/indian muslim vedic yogi... someone who is straight... who believes in Truth more than what is trending... who believes in what is right rather than what is perceived as the right thing to say... 

...it may be unfashionable to say that i find myself aligned with many of the tenets of communism... this can lead to a macarthy style witchhunt... a lynching as happened to julius and ethyl rosenberg in 1953... fried in the electric chair... 

...it may be less than fashionable to say that islam can offer a solution to what many are seeking if they go about it with humility... and that capitalism and islam are incompatible... this would offend 90% of the capital-driven financeer muslim world who seek the gold of this life more than anything... 

it may be unfashionable to say i don't think there is a hierarchy of who is the most oppressed... that oppression olympics is a sad reality that we play in alternative circles and you are made to feel less than if you don't occupy the higher rungs of what is considered most oppressed... 

...i din't think that it's as simple as the darker you are... i don't think race is the only factor in how communities have skirmishes with one another... in fact... i believe cultural difference is a much greater factor... and hence the interaction of black american culture with white american culture vs senegalese american or hatian american, etc.... 

...but these are conversations that are taboo... that are not as clean... it's easier to talk about the unified people of color.... or monolithic brown or black or red... than the fact that there are a thousand types of brown and we have cultural differences and we have historically loved each other and hated each other... we have shared meals and anhillated each others villages... pre-europe... 

...this is less attractive because it breaks the theatre we are in... it requires deeper self responsibility and introspection... ti requires less hiding behind an identity politic and more non-separation... its easier to have an us because of a them... like it's easier to eat big plump deep fried potato samosas... it feels good... for a moment... 

...address the inner bar... 2.21.21...

 

...2.21.21...

...the drums pound... the guitars brush... the moment is ripe for movement... you move... one room to another... one city to another,.. one friend to another... one drink to another...

...it's smoky where you are... even though you are alkaline... even though you quote ayurveda and the egyptian book of the dead.. even though you do yoga and drink green juices... it is smoky... an inner smoke... the bar within... the one you are silently getting trashed in... thoughts... jealousy... fame... lust... self-congratulatory... branding everyone with your name... colonizing from an anti-eurocentric approach... between the thighs of prospects form nyc to charleston... from havana to dhaka... 

...how are you addressing the happy hour that's going on inside...?... the bar you visit nightly... sometimes in the daytime... the one most people don't see but you...?...

...how do i know if i'm at the inner bar getting trashed, you ask...?... if your doors are closed... if separation from others is your way... if you are pinching pennies and food and things you have complaining of what you don't have... if you are holding onto grudges... to pride... to your individual grievances and in turn sense of righteousness... if you refuse to bow to the One in All... to your mother father... elders... to the trees and food that sustain you... to air and water and water life and fire life... bow down... 

...the inner bar will be replaced with a juice ceremony... one in which you are in a circle in community... sharing sacred drink... drink up...  

...choose village... 2.20.21...

 

...begin with bismillah... Always... and for those who Know... it is their breath... no need to remind you or me or themselves... they Know... maya... 

...in the maya what seems is offenses... disappointment... ecstasy... good times... these are such good times... the crash and burn... damn you feel good... i just don't feel the same way anymore... hook up to break up... round and round... the carousel of babylon is as ancient as the ancient mathematics to stay Connected... the ancients knew of the maya... thousands of years before america and europe were colonizing the world... before screens and computers and smart phones and gps... there was violence and bloodshed and anti-ethnic slaughtering... no such thing as brown and brown... it was malayali vs tamil vs bengali vs punjabi vs kashmiri vs sindhi... its romantic to loop us all together... it feels good to be bonded in an illusive unity based on one common enemy... but then you are living on the stage... applause for your performance... upcycle the playbill you are on and write moksha... and tape it on the subway walls... 

...i don't know about any of this... i just know a good play when i see one... i appreciate theatre... there are plenty of theatrical-isms in our current day... 

...what i do know is that for my type of being  - space-air-being... i have to shift spaces... ground deeply in the spaces i shift into... and then shift again... spaces including activities... places where those activities are conducted... the people i am engaging in these activities with... hence the importance of village vs nuclear.. there's a reason people fall "out of love"... many... one major one is that they are around each other all the time... that makes no sense but works for the packaging of babylon culture... it fits well with the house the car the dog... in the ancient ways... there was village... multiple people that you are engaging with... there was Work... 

...there is Work... there are people... people you know... you choose.... village or individualism... 

...in the village relax into your wings and fly... soar... flow... in the name of ALLAH the Most Compassionate the Most Merciful... 

...approach your Work like your life depends on it... 2.19.21...

 

...treat your Work like you mean it... like it's Your Purpose... like that's why you're here... you do so for your job... you show up... you get there on time or run like hell if you are running late... you set the alarm and in case you don't get up you hit snooze... 5mins and snooze again... until you see the time... you rush into the shower... through your clothes... jog to the subway or your car... turn the ignition and smash the gas pedal... going through traffic... through the seas of straphangers on the n train like a running back... pleading with the conductor to go faster, to close the doors... to go express... get there... to the job... just in time... excuses already scripted to be recited in case your supervisor inquires... then you get to cracking on the work... reviewing notes, cleaning, sweeping, organizing, writing, teaching, calendaring, corresponding, charting progress, publishing, executing trainings, customer-servicing... on and on... taking stimulants if you are nodding off... coffee... green tea... chocolate... whatever will do the trick...

...when it comes to Work... are you approaching it with the even greater gravity it deserves than a job?... the Work is the reasons why you Are here... what needs to be done... a brief moment to discourse with past and future and present... to play your role in the organism... to make it a better place... but more... to make it beautiful... to make it stunning... not just to look at... but it feels like stepping out of a sweat drenched movement activity... hitting the shower after that... now feeling the High of the workout and the clean of the shower to deserve the hang... the Connecting... that's what you're here to do... to Create... to Reach High and cultivate High.. more than sensory... more than a moment... deep everlasting... 

...get on top of your game... for you but more than for you... for life... for community... for health... for Love... in the name of ALLAH... 

...remember this... 2.18.21...

 

...what is it that you must remember?...

...joyce carol oates illustrates a working class family in upstate, ny who are enmeshed in an ordinary life... one that to people who are in cities... who are consumed in their own reality as the only reality... as i have during my adolesence and a good deal of my 20's... you would be quick to dismiss the impacts of war, drugs, alcoholism, sexual violence... the impacts of a rat race system could have on all of us... 

...boxing is such a sport... one that is built for the roman colosseum... where wagers are placed and men who pummel each other for as long as the allotted time allows or till they are destroyed... it starts sometimes with the micro-abrasions... tiny cuts all over their face, eyes, chest... and then it grows into thrusts of blood gushing... both outside and through hemorrhaging inside... it is a working class sport... celebrated... epitomizing of masculinity... death in the ring is not the worst thing... some live with pains so horrific death may seem a better option... ALLAH Knows best...

...what will it take for me and you to be less violent... less narcissistic... less supremacist... ?... and i'd like to regurgitate popular rhetoric of the day and gear this towards one group of people or maybe excuse a few groups of people... but no... been around the block/s too long to know how capable all of us are of good and evil... maybe the academic-activist bubbles or those who live in their own ethnic enclaves islands may not see it... but nyc will reveal this real quick... 

...maybe more sun... maybe more d3 to support hormonal health... maybe more b12... to support nuclear and blood health... maybe more self Love... maybe more Self Love... Love through humble accountable relations to each other... Real community... 

 

...accountable relations... 2.17.21...

 

...begins and ends and begins and there is excitement followed by stress tension lack of desire repulsion... onto the next... it's the babylon way... the babylon that is you and me like heroin and addict... dependent on one another... in a state of desire... wanting... want you... can't stand you... 

...commitment is a paradox in babylon... it is an expectation of jobs... yet jobs can and often to let go of you when you are no longer needed... i wouldn't blanket what this looks like... it will vary from a mom and pop operation to a corporate operation... it will vary from a mom and pop sweatshop vs a mega-sweatshop... sometimes the corporate sweatshops feel better... more perks... opps for bathroom breaks... the smaller bangladeshi and nigerian and chinese mom and pop sweatshops are more terrorizing, dehumanizing... it varies... the factories that nike owns directly may have some more rights... 

...commitment to family and friends is societally a blur... there are mixed popular messages... in the alternative health progressive world i tend to be more steeped in, there are common memes for if it's not working move on... peace out on whoever is standing in your way... seems alternative but to me very much part and parself of the disposable world culture we are currently in... no commitments... no accountability... f you... talk to you when i talk to you... no owning up to the lies and deceit and pretending... 

...someone needs to keep you in check... but who?.. anytime anyone tries you stop calling... disappear... peace out... duck out for a month or 12 or 80... it's an option... babylon allows for this.. no repercussions to peacing out... 

...i'd encourage you to commit... to maintain accountability... even if it's uncomfortable... even if you are being called out... own it... even if you are being held to a standard... that's a good thing... if someone is taking the time to hold you accountable give thanks and praise... 

...alternative to babylon music media... 2.15.21...

 ...the angst of suburban music meets the urban edges of punk rock speak volumes in the treasure cove of the collective conscience... the realm in which our dreams bend and transcend the confines of memory as restricted to a single entity of being... of being more than your body and mind as vedic teachings have advanced fro millenia... 

...punk rock... new wave... the alternative to the trash on the radio that leaves you with cavities diabetes and hypertension... tap into the hollow of being powerless in a society and culture that prizes violence over all else... that engages first with fists, f you looking ats, .38mm, f-15's, bush-shock-and-awes, obama-drones... the alternative music of america lands us in a landscape of possibility... of hope... for something more... something deeper... nodding our heads to critiques of state violence, e.timor... nuclear weapons... 

...the term manufacturing consent was coined by a political strategist in the early 1920's to identify what needs to be done to ensure that the vast majority are on board with state rational for militarism and policy... chomsky underlines the irony of this term in the irony of what gets passed as democracy... there is nothing democratiec about thousands of prisons across the country that incarcerate people instead of reforming them... i wasn't part of that discussion... where you?... 

...when we hilary and obama decided to regime change libya and assassinate khadafi... an atttempt that their predecessors, like reagan, tried... they succeeded in destabilizing that portion of north africa and placed the country in perpetual civl war since... where you part of this discussion?... how are these politicians representing our interests (=democracy)... 

...the people have spoken... and it's a conundrum... because sometimes the people are rooting for bashing his head in... perhaps a remnant of our roman past... we continue to exist in this colliseum... rooting for immigrants to be expelled... for muslims to be effaced... for racial supremacy to be the name of the game... without being the name of the game... nowhere is this more obvious than in pop culture... look at who gets a million views and likes... look at those who get 3 or 5 likes... 

...before i align with another being... my heart aligns... irrespective of their ethnic/religious b.g... my heart connects with those under the gun... brutalized by abuses of power... whether it is fashionable or not... while the so-called muslim govt of indonesia was committing genocide on e.timor... my heart connected with e.timorese.. as a muslim... in the order of the teachings of the prophet muhammad... i Connect with Real... and Real is more than the nominal and illusive association to any religion... it is in the heart... 

...don't believe the hype... 2.14.21...

 

...in the middle of the lower east... near philly and houston... north of it... below the ganges and above the taughonok... cradled by the shivers on the bones of golden rod... you were there... all of you were there... 

...our collective consciousness arises in the dream state, carl jung observed and was affirmed by his journeying with medicine men in kenya and new mexico... that's where you and i met...

...last night... i might've seen you... you might've been involved in helping me protect the gathering of worshippers from the riddle of bullets and tanks and bombs and the snipers in the choppers over head releasing precision shots well concealed by the media reports and reporters who only speak of the lunacy of the people being executed... so you don't feel bad... so you say get em tiger... so you root for the murderers...

...who am i speaking of? if you said palestenians gunned down by the apaertheid regime of israel... afghanis and iraqis being bombed by u.s. war planes... yemenis being starved and destroyed by the saudi/u.s drone strikes... uygher's being rounded up and tortured by the chinese military... the royhinga being massacred and raped in mosques in burma by buddhist soldiers... i'd say you're right... but...

...in this instance i was referring to waco texas... of the branch dravidians... who like other pathologized catch-names of people the powers want us to hate, strike a discord with us... just hearing branch-dravidian and david kuresh its leaders is like hearing names like hamas, hezbullah, khadafi, osama and the taliban... but in studying this case here at home... we can see how we engage with the rest of the traditional world...

...community is the single greatest threat to the modern babylon frequency... and the media, and news outlets whose job it is to report objectively somehow are always on the side of our corporate-oligarch-state apparatus... they were quick to make it seem like the central park 5 were demented black and puerto ircan hooligans from harlem... they were quick to make kuresh some crazy guy and the branch dravidians an outrageous cult... except they didn't have much on them... cause there was nothing to be said that could convince you why they should be gassed and bombed like a holocaust... 

...deep... yes defund this apparatus of criminality from the highest to the lowest levels... from the president (clinton and the first lady in 1993 gave the executive order to carry out this military raid on the branch dravidians)... to the military to the police to the thugs in neighborhoods who operate with thuggery and violence... lets not be quick to romanticize the poor victims of state violence... they are not always so innocent... and anyone who has lived in a your life is at stake neighborhood knows what i mean... for those stuck in ivory towers or who come from privileged areas where they get to have academic conversations - you may disagree... 

...look past the maya... at what the apparatus of media-military-healthcare-education are telling you... un-school to get schooled by those who Know... Seek them out... they are probably on a list to be taken out... pray for them... for your Self... 

...past the cool... 2.13.21...

 ...guns.. nickel plated .22... a .45 in the glove compartment... not mine... not in my car... not in my life... i pass on the opportunity to sound cool... to affirm her desire for me to be more... to be a ny story that involves weapons... a back in the day when my waist was in heat from the .9 milli... the one i'd grab for and let em have it... nah... not me... i'll pass on that version of cool... on that poor victim imagery that is affirmed and reinforced in sociology and english classes... in movement talk... in music videos and movies and shows... as american as apple pie and mass shootings... nah... no... i'll pass... rather not be that cool...

...risk cool for being an Aligned Being... for Being more than a moment... hence ALLAHooAkbar... ALLAH - the One-ness - is Greater than any single moment... then your grief and ecstasy... then your acid trip and orgasm... then your suicidal tendency and graduation... Greater than the uniform you have come to identify as you body...

...embrace the cool that comes from deep meditation from the vipassana teachings of siddhartha gautama buddha... the tools he has gifted you through the Gift to handle anything... meditation so deep you will be able to surgically remove the samskaras that you've come to identify as you... i drink coffee every morning... ski breakfast but have a sirloin steak and 5lbs of veggies for lunch... let go and Be-come...

...you have the opportunity to rise to Your Highest and as much as your individual moments avail this... the True practice is in community in meaningful accountable community... family... tribe... 

...hands up... head bowed... and no 9 on my back... just a Surrender to the One-ness... the greatest ecstasy... 

...ritualizing your Purpose... 2.12.21...

 ...his days began at 4... an alarm at first... for the first few weeks when 8 and 9 am days became flagrantly unacceptable... be by 9ish... the unwind involving a short vinyasa practice and meditation... a bit of reading and journaling on the day that has passed and the day coming up... digestion in a place of tranquility as his last meal was 2 hours ago... 

...at 4am making the bed... releasing... washing in ablutions... asana... prayer... praying... breath central to all of it... a meditation... intentions and gratitude journaling as alhamduillilah for everything... 

...first meal, followed by dental hygiene... and then doing the first pieces of work... getting lost in the Work... making a medicine that needs making... then another... then a read break... taking shivasana... then going into a writing cafe immersion... followed by prayer... and clinic... holding clinic... then dinner... in community... in traditional way... some conversations... catch ups... some poetry - reading and writing... then the wind down... some days there is more an emphasis on clinic as cooking for others... some days... maing medicine means packaging and distributing... some days writing means submitting to publications... 

..Always in Alignment with the Work that he is here to do... to give... as ALLAH is Infinite... from his individual Spirit as manifested through the way he has engaged with this Gift of Life (time-space)... and offering forth the fruits of this time-space...

...in the name of ALLAH...  

...to Love is to resist... 2.11.21...

 

...Always You... 

...two meals a day have become feasts... gorging... binging... until i brush... until i put a stopper on... and the stopper makes it clear that i don't need to... but i know while i'm doing it but still continue... there are tiny bolts of sensory satiation... a slow unveiling orgasm... but each one feeling and leaving me progressively worse... less connected with my self... into a downward spiral... and f-it... the nihilism of the modern world... you win... 

...then yoga... prayer... return to breath... to You... and Surrender movement to breath... to ancient algebraics that align body in space time... with the body of jupiter and saturn and our sun and the moons of planets in neighboring solar systems...

...Alignment happens during the brahmaputra hours... during the time of space... when there is no earth bounding the body... when Quietness becomes the language shared with the Essence... 

...do one thing... go hard... deep... all in... Reach... then... after sensing progress... move on to the next... all in... whether it's a conversation with a family member/friend or stranger... or a brushing of your hair... Be all in...

...i was all in during my listening of arif ciziri... the kurdish musician/singer from the early 20th century... between imprisonment and exile... between grief of the turkish led armenian genocide at the dusk of the ottoman empire and the carving up of the middle east by the brits and french... to the utter hope of the dawn of a new day for kurds arabs persians others in the region...

...his songs stretched me through space-time... into that glint... and now... the utter landless state of the kurdish people across nations - iran/iraq/turkey... the reminder of the uigher peoples and their concentration camp status by china... as i write this... the ethnic cleansing of the rohiynga muslims by the buddhist burmese military... they don't mention religion and miltiarims in the media unless it's islamic... mohdi's dehumanizing actions in india are never prefaced with his allegiance to the miltiatn and fundamentalist right wing hind r.s.s and b.j.p... no mention... but a kashmiri who protests the rape of their land by this mohid govt is a kashmiri islamic terrorist... deep... keep the Love going... move from it... speak from it... without expectation from the thieves... we are tied to them too... i am that too...

...spiritual gnosis is not an aside for good times... the universality of Love and non-separation is applicable Always... even when you are of the ethnicity being brutailzed by many of another identifiable ethnicity... there is Spirit there... as taught by the prophet muhammad - peace and blessings be upon him and his descendants and antecedents... 

...peace and blessings to You... 

...make music from Surrender... 2.10.21...

 

...music... are you listening... are you moving to the Music or the radio...?... or the idols that make statues of themselves for you to place in your alter and replace the One...?... posters of celebrties... albums... the homage to nihilism/materialism/consumerism/misogyny/supremacies... ?... 

...Connect with Music... Listen... its in the forests... in the voice of those who sing from the soil... without a name... belonging to a movement or region or tribe... i.e. music of the hopi... qawalli... baul... tuareg music... not a band... not an individual... but people coming together to grow High in their quest... through their instruments...

...once you've Listened... play... grab your instrument... be humble to it... learn from it... through Surrender... through understanding you don't know... only You Know... it may be a pen... foods... oils... herbs... paper... wood... a knife... whatever your craft... play the tools in accord with the Music... Surrender... Work with what you have... Work with worship... 

...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate... the Most Merciful... 

...walk past the racial masquerade to follow Real... 2.9.21...

 

...walking on the astral plane... through asanas in winter... february... as the days grow longer the days get colder... for a little bit... 

...in the world of snow flakes and black ice i write motivational talks into podcasts that spit hacks for this and that... one guy... rangan chaterjee says how podcasting changed his life... how it's something everyone should do to help them connect with themselves... deep... this arrogance... this assumption that everyone needs to get in touch with themselves in this way because it worked for him... because he had some realizations and he's a doctor... what about indigenous people who don't deal with technology in the babylon frequency... should they do a podcast?... what about village men farming and women engaged in the ancient ways of homesteading should they do a podcast so they can learn about themselves... homie also talks about an experience with racial bias he had during his second book deal... it was him the only brown/indian person and a bunch of white people, as he described it... which has been his lifelong scenario... well homie welcome to majority minority issues... ask the minorities in the region of india your family is from how your majority people treat them... 

...it's interesting how so called people of color who grow up in these predominantly white areas have all this stuff to say about white people... that's not the case for those of us growing up with everyone else... 25 types of brown,,, 15 types of black... etc... we are at war with one another.. not because someone set us up... because human relations are tainted by the cultures you are from... cultures are different and can clash... you can racialize this... and it becomes so in a space like the experiment of america... but if you go beyond your own self-pity and look at the macro... look at places where there supposedly only "brown" or "black" you will see that not only do they not use those terms (except maybe through mimicking and assimilating into the imperial american culture through rock and hip hop)... but have very specific terms to describe other ethnicities... and often times from a place of supremacy... 

... all this to say... get past your self... and your little experience... if you can't... spend time in a region that is supposedly the color you identify with and see how people treat one another... that might give you some perspective...

...growing up in a place like nyc there is little romanticism on this so called people of color versus others... you get to deal with everyone's -isms... things that we stay hush about and don't get media play... if i were to tell you about some of the racist experiences i've experienced from other brown and black people you'd think i was talking about white people... no delusions homie...

...in having no delusions... root in compassion and love for all... instead of a judge... instead of this picture perfect white and black and brown and red... steep deeper in culture... in roots culture... instead of romanticizing the womanizing, misogynistic, materialistic cultures that spring from a culture of hate... stop rationalizing the complexity... acknowledge it... but no need to uphold it... You can do better... 

...seek Guides... 2.8.21...

 

...self helps abound... grow obese in the book store... becomes its own bookstores... piles piling up in your bedroom... yes!!! you yelll with a breathrough... and then it dissipates... it didn't work... you go bck to the bookstore... grab another... same thing... and another one...

...self helps are based on human limitation... they lack the prophetic tradition... the essence of the forests... the words of the trees... the energy tapped into inner circles of villagers making medicine over the clay pot... stirring and recognizing the curse on macbeth... in the water... in the steam that is released... the messages in the cloud...

...it is all written... beyond screens and books... it is in the plants and rocks... in the fruits and skies... in the curve of your spine... too much one way... lordosis... 

...Work... by steeping in it... in the village... in the people you serve... start with those immediately around yoy... family freinds... neighbords... when you hit a block in your work do what you have always done... seek Guidance... 

...Guidance is in those who Know (arif-Ullah's)... this is the Way... Guides... Work... practice... Work... Guidance... there is no reason why you can't stand with one leg behind your back... you need to practice... then when you hit the block... get guidance... 

...in the name of ALLAH... Listen... are You Listening?... 

...less stuff less pollution... Act from Truth... 2.7.21...

 

...in this moment... it's in this moment... and this moment is the breadth of all moments... more than a now... we are already at once in a past... as the words preceding this are... and in a future... as the words that came... that launch from that which is Always... 

...in this moment everything and everyone... jealousy and anger... love and compassion... in this moment murder and hospice care... tenderness and violence... distress and peace...

...what causes you distress?... a lot may be related to the modern frequency of being... a divorce from the Real... community... unity... ummah... into the Maya... the illusive reality... of being busy with stuff... to get stuff... to have stuff to say... stuff to do... stuff to keep you stimulated and excited... to enjoy this moment... another how to book to help you understand why the last how to didn't help...

...take action... steep in the Work... through circumstance... through Being in this moment... in what needs doing... in your offering... which is part of a dialogue... a cooperation... collaboration... you will get up from your seat if your chair caught on fire... no need to read a how to on how not to be sedentary... why?... because otherwise you will burn... immolate... there is a dire consequence... 

...Work from this circumstance... of Work that needs to be done... otherwise burn... another rainforest burnt... chopped down... for furniture... for stuff... another piece of land penetrated for oil... that land dried... made infertile... cracking... desertification... 

...in this moment... bombs... prisons... cages... cattle poultry stuffed injected tortured... uighur muslims in china in concentration camps... uhgyer women raped by han men and security from mainland china... apartheid is real in israel... dolphins washing up on shores from oil spills... eagles crashing into poles from the end of night... from light pollution... our holistic embrace of pollution: stuff... blah blah blah... white people are being this... black people experience the most that... the binary of oppression olympics... erasure and supremacy of the vast majority of the earths existence... or... conform to the binary... coke or pepsi?... i'll pass...

....Connect with the stars... listen to kali... krsna... brahma... ishwarah... but then keep it simile... recognize that there is only One... Source... Connect... and anyone who speaks divisively... who upholds their people and struggle and perspective and culture above in this hierarchy of hegemony... pray for... but don't make them your god... don't let them make you bow because they are what is popular... to spell this out...  popular in babylon is the binary - black or white... who suffers more?... who's winning the race...?... this is pop culture... bubble gum... 

...chew the leaves from the trees your grandfather used to chew from... i do... and the multicultrual oprression olympian babylonians spot me and package and sell it with their own culture-centric slant that to become an act of -ism... of us first... of othering... pray for them... and live Your Truth... going deeper with less... in the name of ALLAH...

...listen to the Distress... 2.6.21...

 ...in the name of the One-ness... the Source of Peace... the Essence of ALL... 99 names... attributes to dissolve in... so lift those heavy eyelids... sleep, as the prophet of Peace has said... is the cousin of death...

...on saturday... february 6th 2021... without employment... i Work to grow deeper in yoga... in yuj... in Union... and the distress keeps me up... one of the 99 names of ALLAH is The Distressor... the distress provides us with a light to our darkness... our individualism... our separation... our anger... grief... hate... due to expereinces... perspectives we've ome to hold that keep us separate... 

..what is keeping you separate... from a place of unconditional Love....?...

...for me... last night... it was being on the screen... looking for packaging for my medicines... and feeling the ethical dilemma of stuff.. and not wanting to reinforce this... also knowing that there are jars and things thrown out every single day... and making use of that... and all the medicine i have and have not been putting out and making use of... honey... daal... bhat... triphala... senna... burdock... including jars and other containers to keep them in... 

...the Distress kept me up... the stuff... the clutter of things i am doing rying to do... nutriton internship... holding clinic at apothecary... cosmic course... writing... and baely having enough time to just compelte my rituals... and thinking of the woman that sustains me... has Always... my mother... and the father that Loves me and us unconditionally... a true soldier for Truth and Love...

...the Distress... has led me to... shhh... one thing at a time... but Work... Work... take action... now... do it now... 

...Connect with the Work that needs to be done... 2.5.21...

 

..."the revolution done started and you ain't even prepared"... a lyric from bronx rapper mysonne... comes to mind in reflecting on Work... on putting in the sweat equity... for us... for you and me... and our tribe... more than a race or ethnicity or even species... but us... Life... the Organism... Oneness... tawhid... ALLAHooAkbar...

...the entire supreme book (qur'an, old new testament, vedas, gita, book of the yellow emperor, book of the dead... etc)... could be summarized in surah fatiha (which opens the qu'ran)... and this surah can be summarized by the first word of this surah - alhamdulillah - and this could be summarized by the aspiration at the end of this word - hoo... as revealed by islamic scholar sufi teachers like dr. ali mermer... 

...the hoo... confirms the declaration in the qur'an - ALLAH is as Close to You as your Jugular... indeed... this is echoed by the testament of the prophet of Light (muhammad mustafa sallalahu wallaihe wasalam)... that "one who Knows themSelf Knows ALLAH"... 

...do You Know Your Self?...

...how do you get to Know your Self...?... through Work... that is from within but in service to the seeming without... it is the seeming without because you may see the food you cook, the floors you sweep, the medicine you make for others... and others itself denotes outside of self... but if you see it as heart to heart... the basis of the sufi islamic teachings... then you Recognize the Real in ALL... ALLAHooAkbar...

...ALLAH is Greater than our ability to comprehend... to grasp... and hence the Surrender... and hence my having grown humbled like people in my family who i have looked at as poor folks who traditionally embraced islam without thought/thinking... just blind faith... of course i was taught to think this... not overtly... but ased on the epistemological frameworks of modern education... which is a takers model of thinking... one divorced from spirit... when everything is spirit... 

...the russian revolution... the bolsheviks... the revolutions in the colonial world that ensued saw a departue from previous revolutions... whether it was a revolution in france or spain or america... or india or the middle east... up until that poit the revolutions were between rulers and in the interest of the ruling class... the russian revolution of 1917 was a workers/peasants revolution... the people who did the work... the ones who upheld the kingdom were now taking power back... were democratizing power... of course this would be a threat to babylon... and babylon of even those who use this temr in the modern day but love their limelight and individual success.. and houses and cars and women and monies... 

babylon will even take the language of revolution and spit it back out with the smae look alikes of those who said it... Real Yogis move in Quiet... 

...cooperatize your Work... 2.4.21...

..........

...why was communism such a scare?... why did so many in america... among the working class gravitate towards it...?... why were julius and ethel rosenberg killed?... why is having universal employment... (putting evryone to work)... universal education... universal housing... and universal healthcare a bsd thing?...

...these days communism/socialism is a past... a part of a history... it is still a bad thing in the minds of many... and those who come from this tradtion... who may be the sons and daughters of revilution recongize it as a failed experiment... an attempt... but why?... 

...we are addicted... we love the casino... the gamble... rolling the dice and seeing what could possibly show up... it's what jay z refers to as the allure - "i got a thing for those big-body benzes... it dulls my senses... in the love with vw engines..."... stuff... our addiction to stuff and rewards and prizes... rolling the wheel of fortune and seeing what comes up and once we get it... on to the next... over with it... no longer interested... it was the roll of the dice that made it interesting... we see this in human relationships... in intimacy...

...two years after the bolshevik revolution... in november 1919... the feds back by the barron class... invaded 7 cities... these 7 cities had a critical mass of growing communist movements... thousands were arrested... offices raided and shut down... thousands deported... 

...eugene debbs gave a speech during this time on the robber baron class... how they were bleeding the workign person dry and making away like the bandits they were... he was jailed shortly after... he went on to be the leader of the scialist party... the communist party also formed around this time... even with the raids both grew...

...many who look at police brutality, pipelines... sweatshops as simply an issue of race... replicate... regurgitate the baron blass line... it is why people like biden and harris could be presidents... they are not affecting what is at the abric of the barons... which capital... which is profit... which is protectingthis by any means neccessary... and the reason most of us stand by is becasue we are players in this game...we love it... there isn't a 1% vs 99%... there is a 99% vs a 1%... 1% is calling for meaningful accountable relations in the forms of coops... cooperatizing our living spaces... our closets... our work... so that instead of having a single celbrity figure running the show... we are part of a community... everyone wants tobe a donahe and oprah... an ellen and future... 

...Work.... even if it is unpopular... walk the Way of the ancients... of the Way... from within... Be community... move in cooperation... doing without ego... doing with yoga... yuj,,, union... in the name of ALLAH... 

...move in/with tribe... 2.3.21...

 ...cold... there is a cold war... our weaponizing race class height weight nationality ethnicity privilege underprivilege complexion hair... all groups participate... all who have and are dismembered from tribe... from meaningful community relations which i have always been prostrate to Spirit as carl jung discovered in his quest to understand dreams beyond the personal... finding the existence of the collective conscience among ancient peoples in tribes in kenya and in the american southwest... tribes whose lives were steeped in religion...

...our debates today are on the oppression of religion... and yet the romanticism of the tribe and indigenous way... our debate is on equal rights and social justice... meanwhile we celebrate obama's presidency and his equal access to dropping bombs over bagdhad... somehow the fight of malcolm and gandhi and che and nasser went from equal rights for all... a just a social cooperative world to a me me me equal rights to i should be able to run a train on this chick or that dude... and somehow we have entered the collective rapist mentality and rationalize it through our day to day moment to moment action...

...actions speak louder than any word... and it is our deeds that are plagued with the individualism that lets us turn a blind eye to the local farmer and get the mangoes shipped in from india instead.. somehow we can ignore region and seasons and the Laws of the Cosmos to fulfill our senses and talk social justice in the same breath... befuddling... 

...cold war... the threat of the cooperative... of people sharing on an institutional level... the greatest threat to our freedoms as joseph mccarthy saw it and campaigned with evangelical fervor... leading to the execution of julius and esthel rosenberg in 1953, for selling secrets of the atom bomb to soviet spies... a young couple executed minutes apart from one another at sing sing prison on june 19th... the date that sylvia plath's character arrives in nyc for an internship at a woman's magazine...

...the cold war... cold due to the lack of toasts being blown... an ideological war between the soviet union and the u.s after their brief alliance against the nazis disintegrated into disagreements about germany's reparations... into the spread of communism... into the acknowledgement of china's new elected government under the leadership of mao tse tung... the newly formed u.n which had at its core committee... the u.s, france, britain, china and the soviet union, refused to acknowledge mao and so the soviet union pulled out... leading to the un backing of the u.s anti-communist truman doctrine -to support any nation with a communist threat... leading to the creation of the c.i.a and department of defnese... soldifying the u.s military role in the world and their ventures into asia... starting with korea when north korea sought to unify the divided nation in1950, leading the american kiorean war that lasted till 1953... the chinese supported north korea... this u.s jingoism would plant the seeds for invasions of iran... cuba... vietnam... iraq... etc... etc... 

...we are in a cerebral war now... it is at psycho somatic... witch hunts similar to the macarthy era... and those who go with the party line are given favors monetary compensation as was the case for nations that supported the capitalist agenda under the marshall papers...

...history unfolds... you get to choose which side of history you will be in... what would Love do?... 

...this is more than about you... it's about You... 2.2.21...

 

...shhh... breathe... Connect... Align with that which is Always... You...

...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate the Most Merciful...

...Be Compassion... Love... unconditional... nothing to hold back... ALLAH is Infinite... give Everything... Reach... share... towards the One... Oneness... what are you doing that is from a place of pure Love... that stems from that place brimming with You... without you...?... this is Your Work...

...Your Work is in Being Love... and it happens through Creativity... Creation... The Creative process... which only makes sense if it is shared... given... uplifts... otherwise it is hoarding... greed... a robbing of the Gift...

...this body through space-time that you flow through is a Gift... more than about you... it is to bring forth the balance... the Great Harmony... we get a chance at this... how are you doing it?...

...isabelle allende does it through paula, through house of the spirits... through her novels that presence spirits and generations and revolution and hurt and the human condition... pablo neruda does this through his poems on love and loss on social movements... abdul wahab al bayati does this through the poetics of lament... of exile... of witnessing his iraq devastated... in ruins... the ancient roads dismmebered and being lost separated from his lover... the resilience of the human spirit is the determination to Seek... 

...what are You Seeking?... if it is fame... sex... stuff... status... it will cripple you... leave you hurt and disappointed... if what You Are Seeking is to build balance... to Love... to build community through medicine... through the Gifts you hold... then all praise is due... take two steps and 17 will be taken towards you so you reach 19...

...the music you listened to became your religion... 2.1.21...

 ...i stared at the atari in the ads in the back of the x-men comic, next to the ad on muscle in 7 days, with a cartoon of a bicep that was larger than life like the comic book heroes i aspired to be... 

...my older brother paced... ferocious... perhaps channeling the energy fo the bengal tiger from our bengal that we'd been transposed from for a better education better opportunities and things i can never fully grasp...

...what does it mean to voluntarily leave ancestry to come to a culture and custom hostile to you for the sake of your children?... i've only know self-centered decision making... but this is not what i thought of as my brother paced... 

...i got into the mercyful fate song and album and other heavy metal albums made by american boys in their parents garage to release rage against a machine that had grown overbearing to them... 

...somehow this translated to us... immigrant kids... kids of immigrants... us whose home life and outside life were night and day... who spoke differently, ate differently, dressed differently, prayed differently then everything in the outside world... for us... heavy metal... the rage of the guitars and drums and yell of the vocalist was our pent up alienation being released... having a channel... a cry against what we didn't understand and yet... an opportunity to fit in... to assimilate... 

...the music of megadeth and judas priest and metallica somehow spoke to us and the american kids born and raised and generationally marginalized in america's cities and suburbs... 

...yet the coalescing of our shared medium... our spiritual channel... cultivated a creole of art and destructiveness... 

...since the creolizing required our acceptance of our patron metal-head saints as our saviors... our aesthetic in accessory, clothing, and hairstyle had to match theirs... our head movements and dance had to match theirs... our taste in woman and womanizing had to match theirs... our relations to instrumentation had to match theirs... 

...in time this meant becoming a frankenstein to our ancient immigrant family of ancient earth traditional values... the spiral away from soul led into what then became necessary...

... drugs, alcohol, sex, pizza, donuts... addiction... you win... we made it in america...