...in the name of ALLAH... the Most Compassionate... the Most Merciful...
...i bear witness that there is no One but One and that the prophet muhammad (s.a.w) is his rasool...
...another revolution and i feel like i've devolved in some ways... this past week has been posing grave concern... challenge... anxious thought...
...here are some: i can't commit to anything... if i planned i wouldn't be trying to figure out what i'm doing with myself everyday... i'm community-less... social-less... a man-child... without a clear living situation... poor financial perspective... if i had a plan for the week - i'll leave for philly thurs and work sun-wed... i would've made some money... and been a better financial situation...
...if i was like my cousin... i would make money wherever i went... people reaching out to me... me setting up appointments... she is smart in that way... but, that's a passive way to put it... like it's a spook-thing... like she was just born with it... she works hard to be on top of her money game... i could learn from her...
...plans... my plan is to plan... to set up my calendar... starting with full moons... to have an commit to a place to live... this is the major area missing from my life at the moment... that is... altho i have a living situation at the moment... i view it as a crashpad... and have been basically living out of my luggage for the past year and 4 months... that is... i could have my crashpad be my live pad if i accepted the circumstance... but do not... it is familiar, but refrains me from growing into manhood into having company, into waking up at 4 or 5 and going to bed by 9am... from making medicine, putting kits together... having late night convo... from building towards planting seeds...
...the move is clarified... it is imminent... but requires the Work to ensure this... the Work gets curtailed by the security i occupy... that is... i do not have an eviction note that is requiring me to find a place... no kicking me out... i have to create the circumstance...
...having a place will allow me to commit to clients... building a client-base... Working... committing to courses... partners... friendship...
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