...a birthday, a pivot in numbers, a new decade, the roaring this a reminisence, something i watch like a black and white film, snuggled into the couch, ammu and abbu around... a part of my mycellium... and i see the mistakes now... poor chocie after poor choice... somehow... for some reason i never considered a livelihood, nothing that would result in money, in a meaningufl amount, enough to get us out, enough to rent my own place, enough to make snese for all the years i spent in school, education... makes no sense... somehow the people who raised me, the parents who gave me everything with their sweat labor, who cooked three meals a day and left everything for here.... they were to selfless to ask of us to be anything, to try and go a route that would make money sense... and i made the same mistake over and over, spending tens of thousands... and here i am... not sure what the point was, other than to maybe recognize just how much Love i received and maybe at this late age to start listening, paying attention... maybe there is a way... and that way that part of it has Always been clear - my village of Love and the signs that sustained us, soil, moon phases, bowing down at each of the days junctures... all praise is Always due...
