full moon november 2017

...results...do the same thing and get the same results...and then wonder...where'd i go wrong?...get the same feeling - man, this sucks...what can be different? what do you need to do to make it different?..what are you hoping for...?...what are you getting instead?...

...if you fail to plan, you plan to fail...my brother told me, a decade ago, on a subway ride from queens to brooklyn...word, i said...makes sense...10 years later...

...the plan is based on the results, this time, this full moon...instead of doing it the same...instead of running around in circles...instead of being a chicken without a head...

...i want community...but am i being community?...i want you to call, check in, holler...but am i doing any of these things...?...i want the health of my folks to be optimal, to be in flow, to increase their capacity to Love...but am i supporting this?...how do i expect their health to be good, when i am not actively supporting their health, and instead focusing solely on mine...?...

...results...the results are friday and saturday...sundays and evenings are consumed in community...that every day is consumed in work, in meaningful work...in being part of a team...in collaboration...in working together...towards something...compromise...to lost control...to have less...to let go...to be One with One...to be a contributor, to have exchange, meaningful ones, with Life - people, animals, trees, environment...

...if i'm looking for folk to show up...how am i showing up for others...?...in moments like this, when i write it down...i get that feeling of urgency, and act...and then forget...

...results - people seeking out my support...me supporting them...in a deep n meaningful way...beyond money...in a way that supports their recovery...in a way that builds them up to be able to support to love to give, to run and fly and be in a state of flow, to be accountable, to forge accountable relationships...to give to be, to love, to hang...

...instead of sitting with this...with gnosis...with this able-body, to support...want to work with urgency, with Love...unconditional...

..the result is Lover, around the clock...giving...initiating...working...taking steps...listening...doing from a place of You...seeing You in ALL...from focus on the Work...

...the Work is what has to get done beyond me...beyond this body and lifetime...

...the results are clear...the results are premised on shifting the paradigm...the paradigm is doing the same thing and expecting different results...the same thing is being passive, being reclusive, thinking i can do it myself, thinking i don't need anyone, thinking too much, sitting behind this computer, jotting it down, but not doing it...not finding ways to be accountable, not being accountable...

...the result is the imagination, the dream...what i see...what i imagine, but what i am not doing about...the result happens through planning, with habits built into the plan, to ensure the happening...

...the plan is to seek support, to be clear on what i want, to use this clarity to be supple and not hard, to be a Lover in all ways, to give and be unconditional Love...

...the plan is to be in a state of Work...the vision is to be seeing clients throughout the work week...to be in a place of service...to give...support folks in their work...back to back...to be in a team...checking in with the team...working together...building tribe...growing, gardening, making medicine, learning...to get out of the state of being solitary...super-man...to be in a team...

...what does it look like?...the exercise is this...what does the ideal you look like...?...the one that is results oriented...?...the one that is full aligned?...the one that is full in touch with the One...fully plugged in...the one who Knows this is brief, that every moment passes...that as fast as i type, the words dissipate, just like the second before, just like the friend i said what;s up to, like the guy i scrunched my face for, the supermarket i floated through...whether i spent or not...the moment passed...the moment always does...life in this form always does...always will...the vedantists say this is not it...the is not-self...Self is that which is Always...that which has no beginning nor no end...and i don't know, but i do know that everyone i have ever known, through a period of space and time has changed, looks different, moves different, is in shape, out of shape, trying to get back in shape, gave up on shape, lost their shape, left us...left...is in the place of Mystery...the place i can only conjecture on...don't know if this is it or not...if this is the one-life that many speak of...those who've lost and left religion...don't know...faith in observation, in the laws followed by the trees and planets, the stars and the orbits, keeps me in a state of movement, in going deeper, much deeper, in floating, in ascending, in reaching...

...all praise is due...

...the results are grounded, are plugged into You...and with You, i am working...collaborating...doing...giving...trusting...seeing You in All, seeing Love, being Love...happy when you are happy, empathetic when you are hurt...but Always in a state of Peace...in a state of Source of Peace...regardless of sensations, of what others say or don't...

...this full moon...november 2017, i let go of doing the same thing, in the same way, and getting the same results, by doing it different, by planning, and building habits into the plan, by connecting with You...by Loving You...all praise is due for You...