meaning...

i see it clearly...i believe u do too...

...walk with me...

back to your childhood...wherever u were at in the world...

i was in nyc, in an elementary school, in the first grade...

...i stand in the classroom...as now, as me in this body 2016...i stand there and watch as the teacher teaches and the kids listen, and play, and work, and exercise joy and cruelty to one another...

...i watch myself, the little me, the 6 year old, i watch the interactions, the discomfort already, the unease, the dis ease forming from being an alien, from being an other, from being surrounded by otherings and other others...

...i am about to say something, stirred by emotion...the bell rings, the class dismissed, another 140 days, the school year is over, summer, fall, another batch of kids, another group of excited, nervous, concerned, preoccupied parents dropping their children off...the kids take seats, write their name on construction paper, fold the page, make tags for their desks, look at each other with trepidation, curiosity....bell rings, they come in 3 months later, best friends, enemies...bells, fire drill, summer, fall, another group of kids, same classroom, i am standing, still, same spot...

...10 years in, same school, same classroom, i am standing, still...the space is filled with noise, quiet, laughter, shouts, space and time, in a school building...in a class, in witness...

...30 years, 30 teachers in some classrooms, 5 in others, 12 in still others...i stand and watch for meaning...the meaning lies in the attempt to find meaning, in building a purpose, in making purpose with time and space by creating, by occupying time and space with ideas that have walls and structures and laws, and bylaws, and...50, 60, 90 years...purpose, they are seeking purpose...

...the purpose of schools is to create a purpose in the absence of one, to create, cultivate, facilitate children to adults with ideas, with thoughts, with frame of minds, and state of minds, but the space changes, the people change, the colors change, the calendar changes...so what's the meaning...?

...is there meaning in these spaces? yes. all space and time is meaningful. what is the meaning? purpose, a distorted one, one that is grounded in alienation, in kidnap from community, in dismemberment from any communal ideas you may have...the purpose of these spaces...whether it is school or the workplace, is to create a false sense of purpose that keeps you busy, that keeps you away from what matters, and keep you stuck, if you are a person of compassion, on fixing the wrong, making it better, changing things for the kids...it's inherently false because you are not part of their community and they are not part of yours...its false because you are dismembered, and can leave whenever, and never have to speak to any of them again...same is true at the workplace, at institutions of higher learning...you choose...you amputate, you hang when you hang and don't when you don't, and yet seek meaning...

...the meaning lies in what is real...what is real is community...real community...