...my sweet Lord...i really wanna see You...really wanna be with You...but it takes so long...rocking out to george harrison...it resonates - wanting to Know You, wanting to go with You...more than end-life scenario...end-ego scenario...giving Love, unconditional...pure...peace...Love...
...results...the results i want to see is being in a state of unconditional Love...
...for me...the practices that bring me here are asana practice alone and in meaningful community, like at sis' crib last night...where she had a few folk over for her 30th n led an asana sequence, followed by meditation and chanting...
...results for me happen through flow...having things lined up that i am struggling towards...for...like the workshop i did today...put in time...lots of it...especially yesterday n today, cause i do things last minute...so having things lined up requires this type of movement...so perhaps courses on meditation, yoga, cooking, and setting stage for next part in life...
...results that work, through meditation...my asana practice is stronger than the ashtanga, the other limbs...so meditate...i have time for it...
...results that work is cooking, and brushing/flossing after every meal...is writing, getting it down...is working with urgency...is giving Love...when i am being Loving...i want to be Loving all the time...i want to see right into You...
...results that work, based on the above, is focusing wholly on one thing...like this workshop, with an audience i need to get it to...making medicine for others, cooking for others, doing a workshop for others, teaching yoga for others...i am naturally prone to being in service, in deep desire of connection, connecting with You...
...so...the what i want...the what i want is self-Love, and that happens through Self-Love...and the self-Love requires the asana, and cooking, and dental care, and meditation, and naturally bleeds into Self-Love, in which i Am doing for You, supporting You...being vulnerable, through honesty, transparency...
...Surrender...that being the end...and the end being the journey...every step of the way, because there is no end goal...because this is the end...no guarantees...rest in peace to all of your loved ones who have moved on to the other realm...we will all be there soon...so whats the fuss, the point of trying to control anything, anyone...all you can do is Love You, and you will be in Yuj...ah...this is the greatest asana sequence...the greatest aha moment i Am having today - is to develop an asana of unconditional Love, that is practiced throughout the day...
...asana sequence of unconditional Love: gratitude, in words, in Quiet, thanking in my head - for arms, legs, for health, for family, for you, for You...asana to take joy in the joy of others, to transform moments of judgement into vulnerability, gratitude...what else?....
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