Tuesday, April 7, 2020

...full moon april 7 2020...


...in the name of ALLAH... Always... and of course only You Know...

...there are the bearers of Truth... their Truth is evident... felt... more than a class or a video... outside of instagram... in the name of...

...tonight... tonight i break fast... broke it.. .with my folks... an honor to Connect... was reminded in my flee from the sequestering that many more than most work jobs they are dissatisfied in... that they do it because they feel they have to... they are holding on to something, attaching... believing in something that may not be true... more often than not is not true...

...last full moon was a different world... but what has changed inside?...

...i wonder this about all of us... what has changed in how you will engage with the world now... i hear folks talking about how education/jobs will never be the same again... this means that there will be more remote work... more people staring at screens from their home... ball and chained for 8-9 hours a day... their sabotage in the work place being quick runs to the fridge... sneak texts and calls... perhaps a squeeze of an episode of this and a game of that...

...sabotage... we are the ones being sabotaged by a false reality... and still... something tethers us... what?... can we ever be village... community... peace for each other... for the world... for generations... if this is how we move... i get that there are people who don't want to work... i don't want to work that is sleazy... unmeaningful... what is meaningful?...

...yoga... being part of a team... cooking... eating together... breaks... making medicine...

...last full moon i said i would aim and shoot... the moon before i said i would clear on what it is i want... that clarity was essential for what i would work towards... since things were still unclear i decided to apply getting clear... aiming... shooting on a day to day... moment to moment... like this blog... this reflection... aiming to get my soul onto this page... seeing what comes up... wondering if words could rescue me... could give my soul ease...

...maybe it is all a dream... but the potential of the dream to lead into the dark crevices of babylon keeps us tethered... the possibility of homelessness... of going broke... of scraping... working mickey dees at 50... still running... still in a rat race... still not taking the risks...

...then what is the dream...?... does the dream happen through keeping one foot in safety and the other foot reaching for whatever?... i don't think so... i think... from gandhi and martin and malolm and huey and che and fidel... and from my poppa and granddada... that it happens through necessity... that this is what has to happen... that this never comes from a place of fear...

...so if fear... if the fear of losing... of homelessness and loss...and dissapointment were not there, then what would the aim be?... how would the walk look towards this?...

...this full moon i get nuanced with aim and shoot... i ask... if fear weren't in the equation... what would my aim be... what would i have to risk to get there?... then i'd walk... briskly... tall... like my head were in heaven...  

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