Wednesday, April 20, 2022

...4.20.22... r


 

...there's a space... spaces between... Love and lust... desire and purpose... knowledge and prophecy... 

conversations i had this month... that see me in the circumambulation between nyc ithaca philly and salt lake... places where my heartbeats... where they beat before i ever got here... 

...how did i get here... ?... how did you?... the story is that there was an act of love, of lovemaking, of an exchange... of a planting of seeds... of an egg that embraced it... of the replication of life... of chromosomes x and y, of a transcription of data into code of a c t g strips of millions for liver and cardiac cells of muscle and neural cells... blood... pumped... nutrients and toxins exhcanged through the placenta,,, a mycelilial communication forum between the mother who bears the child and me... the child... suckling... taking it all in... through my belly... through Be coming... 

...in the name of the One... why did this all start?... where does it all go?... 

...48000 cameroonians given temporary status to work and live in the u.s... the east and west of urkraine bombed... israeli soldiers backed by nuclear arms storm and break up worship in the al aqsa mosque... utah's mormon population decreases for the first time since 1920 something... what does it all mean?... 

...if birth is special and of the millions of possible sperm that attempt to engage in discourse... it's mostly unlikely any will... so if you... me... take birth... it's a big deal... then what does it mean that the fastest growing populations are black and brown... in american and abroad...?... does this mean more unborn spirits are seeking to be african or indian or latin or asian?... does it mean that taking birth in these bodies is only meaningful if we take on certain bodies?... that the majority of body's on earth aren't lucky but cursed?... that taking birth is actually a curse?... if so, what is the purpose?... what are we supposed to do with this?... 

...what is the point of life?... is it the same for all of us?... does race ethnicity sex factor into purpose intrinsically?... is our purpose based more on being here in these bodies... and what experiences these bodies have...?... in the name of it ALL... i have no clue how any of this Works... and the older i get the less any of this makes sense... and i want it to... and i don't know how to divirce the reality of the world - of sex, race, naitonality... all the things that cause us to cringe... to desire... to want... to hate...

...the one thing that remains steady is the Work... of Creating... of playing and exploring... of seeing what happens... of ritual and prayer... of going deeper... 

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