day 22: reminder

been avoiding this. being here. writing. posting the day without a post-apocalyptic plan that some of the crew used to have, used to talk about when armagedon was looking like the kids with hoodies bending the corner after midnight, after i left the party alone.

the hood on, casting a shadow over the eyes, means to be unseen, to be static image to you, po-po, surveillance cameras.

i watched the juicer break before me, on the 1st day of the juice fast, a couple days back. the $200 juicer, the one that is as brolic as ll cool j, in his video in the ring - "mama said knock you out". my omega used to squeeze potatoes like Yahweh making mountains into sand in the old testament.

i was in a desert, for hours, maybe four, walking within myself, wondering if i should let go of this portion of the cleanse. but it was everything i walked towards, every pound i shed was for this deeper cleanse, i recalled.

recollection is good, necessary, a picture of moms, pops, and the brothers at a picnic in bear mountain, with cousin pin being chased by his stoic pops in the background. a smile. yeah. i forgot that love these guys. this is why.

my boy step told me to stay focused and avoid faltering, getting sunk, in the process of the job hunt. i told him that before, when he got fired again. someone else told me. i heard stic man rap about it in his song on discipline, as he dropped quotes from bruce lee about being like water. reminders are good, growing.

i forget a lot. i forget where i was going. i know i started to go somewhere and then i got lost, my girlfriend lost, an ex, a new spark, a date in the park, spark, long walk, revelations 3:14...peace out on her, on my way to the juice spot, the sista with the sparkling cider eyes - say wassup - you juice?
 i do.
i meditate.
me too.
no good.
why?
cause we gonna get High tonight...

then i remember You, and the world is alright with me, just one look at You, and the world is alright... the juice fast, leaves me in want, makes me crave the mundane. rememberance draws me back. ebb and flow, but sail through the tidal waves of winter with reminders that guide me like a compass to You, my Purpose in this Path of being a warrior, a medicine man.