day 25: traitor

years become a singular month that i stand and grow and wither in like an avocado in a box shipped from northern california, below the marijuana fields of humboldt county.

on day trillion in this manifestation of arms and legs, i listen to the ancient songs of everywhere together. my ancestors are from mars and jdfk and osiejr and lreiw and star ships you can only conceive before the moment of death, when reality becomes so crystal clear, a peace embeds over your paling face.

i've become a traitor to race and the theories that had previously bound me to an us-ism. the only us is solar and has very little to do with this accidental skin, complexion and features i was born into. i know that for certain now. there is no doubt that this skin i'm in is mere happenstance and those who deride it or uphold it are enmeshed in a hurt so bad no miles davis quartet dedicated to the jazz of the blues can capture this blockage, no top cardiac surgeon's stint in the heart can open the valve of reality when material is god.

our bonds are bondage and resurrect only a prison industrial complex driven by the motive of profit.

my honey complexion, dark hair, alley cat physique and movement are just northface and suede pumas, outter wear that i bought into as potentially marketable if worn as the danger and cool babylon paints it as. i traded it in, at the pawn shop for nothing.

nothing?

you can have it, i said to the pawn-shop dude behind the counter, you can have it if it'll get you food for dinner tonight, but then discard it, burn it in a bonfire beside riverside park, there are no cops there between 2 and 3am. no one will see you, not now, not in this weather. burn it, i told him.

what will you wear? he asked, the gold ropes around his neck dull in the face of the sun that made his presence known through the glass of bulletproof.

i was naked, except for the shawl, except for the loongi, except for prayer beads that i counted below the garbs of earth i adorned like leaves on the oaks in prospect park - i counted through chant, through dikr:

ya Rahmanu, y Rahimu, yal Maleku, ya Qudusu, ya ALLAH, ya ALLAH, ya ALLAH...