day 3: so far...

so far i have been falling short, shorter than my five eight. five to eight i'm dropping into a daze, ready to lean into the korean series - dong yi - that i've been dreaming in with my folks.i dream of being the commoners, the ones in revolt against the tyranny of aristocrats; commoners who dance with swords, whose choreography is guided by air and sun, by the desperate longing for dignity . other times, i am dreaming, of being the royalty, my hands tucked into the silk robes they adorn, plotting secretively with the clandestine movements on the ground to make revolt happen.

i'm imagining more than doing. if i ruled the word ... open every cell in attica...

one of my spritual teachers tells me that what seems impossible is made impossible by the limitations we place in perceiving that possibility. so far, the mundane intentions i have r falling out of grasp, becoming methane clouds, choking me through insomnia.

so far, i have yet do the preparation i need to do to manifest the intentions of this fast. instead, like a vegeterian eating deep fried noodles and plantains and snickers, i am eating on the go, spending very little time preparing my meals, the way i need to.

so far, my meditations r stints, in the subways, when i suddenly recall that it is part of my intention for the month. i abruptly close my eyes between others, rocking to the beat of fast life , and fall into a left lane of thought.

so far , i am spending my mornings with promise, my afternoons with getting ready for work, running to work, slipping into work, and my evenings with becoming smoke.

so far, i am hopeful that with Your strength, i will metamorph, become a monarch in my flight like the shaolin masters doing yoga in mid-air.